Cheney Bags First Bald Eagle after Bird's Removal from Endangered Species List

[babylonsister]

http://www.unconfirmedsources.com/?itemid=2621

Cheney Bags First Bald Eagle after Bird's Removal from Endangered Species List
by Dood Abides



Vice President Dick Cheney posing at an undisclosed Wyoming game preserve



Casper, Wyoming (APE) - The White House today announced that Vice President Dick Cheney, mere hours after the bald eagle was officially removed from the endangered species list, became the first to officially bagged one of the majestic raptors. Cheney reportedly bagged the bird, one which had been released from captivity, after the third shot.

Citing the existence of some 10,000 nesting pairs in 48 states, Secretary of the Interior Dirk Kempthorne had hours earlier heralded the removal of the national bird from the United States' list of endangered species.

In honor of the occasion comedian Stephen Colbert had donated his bald eagle named "Little Stephen" whom he had supported the rescue of, to the vice president as a gift. Colbert could not be reached for comment.

Larry Schweiger, spokesman for the National Wildlife Federation angrily protested the vice president's actions, stating, "The Bald and Golden Eagle Protection Act and the Migratory Bird Treaty Act still protect the bald eagle, and prohibit killing, selling or otherwise harming eagles, their nests or eggs."

The White House immediately sprang to the defense of the vice president, stating that this particular eagle, since it was captive and under the auspices of the Patriot Act, was not entitled to the legal rights and privileges of American Eagles. In addition, the White House offered that the vice president was an independent branch of the government, and not subject to either federal or local game regulations, and that the bird would not be turned over to any authority even under the threat of subpoena.

The spokesperson concluded by stating that the bird had been plucked and flash frozen at the Wyoming hunting preserve, and would likely find its way to the table for a July 4th holiday dinner at the White House.

[mdmc]

1. sick

:(

[Snarkoleptic]

18. Using it's blood to pen his own anti-constitution to be revealed July 4th.

[Matariki]

31. LOL !

[Eurobabe]

2. is this real??

[Skinner]

6. No, it's not real. (nt)

[PA Democrat]

15. Yet.

Never underestimate the dick.

[Eurobabe]

16. I didn't click on the link, but DeadEye is capable of doing this...

so ya just never know.

[Rosemary2205]

8. No

[samq79]

10. just look at the picture in the link...it's a joke...n/t

[Arugula Latte]

34. Of course it's not real ... the eagle was actually still in captivity, not released as reported.

You know how that Dick likes to shoot at animals that are penned up (well, that and old men).

[ClassWarfare2008]

38. This is not real.

But I have seen a picture of a young Chimpy holding up a dead bald eagle which he had apparently just shot. Don't bother Googling it. It's long gone now. Wish I had saved it to my hard drive at the time.

Anyone else know what I'm talking about?

[greenbriar]

3. did he shoot the bird in the face?

or anyone else

[helderheid]

4. HE JUST SHOT THE SYMBOL OF OUR NATION? Is this the onion?

[blondeatlast]

5. I dedicate this post to Will Pitt... nt

[Bryan Buchan]

17. Ha! I will tell him you said so...he'll like that n/t

[Chulanowa]

7. How far have we sunk...

That it took me a moment to realize this was satire? How fucked-up are things that reading about the vice president shooting an eagle doesn't make me roll my eyes and go "yeeeeeah right", but instead "Wait he did what?! ...Oh."

[babylonsister]

11. Pathetic, isn't it.

:rofl: Sorry, but this story cracked me up, assuming, of course, that it isn't true.

[blondeatlast]

13. Ain't it the truth?

I, too, had a :wtf: moment.

[sinkingfeeling]

9. Not real. It's still against the law to kill a bald eagle.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/06/27/tech/main2989242.shtml?source=RSSattr=HOME_2989242

The eagle, whose decline came during years in which the bird was often targeted by hunters, will still be protected by state statutes and a federal law passed by Congress in 1940 that makes it illegal to kill a bald eagle.


Edited to add info on law

[Perky]

22. But but there was a signing memo on this ...I does not apply to the office of VP

[onenote]

12. Apparently we've reached the point where even the obviously made up stories

about cheney are swallowed by some. Sad all the way around.

[ContraBass Black]

32. There have always been gullible people and responses before reading.

[BuyingThyme]

14. Does anybody else think CASPAR WYOMING would have been a better name for DICK CHENEY?

[Javaman]

19. Was the bird dressed like a hunter? nt

[Perky]

20. K&R for brilliant humor

[Coexist]

21. .

:rofl:

[BrainGlutton]

23. FTR, the bald eagle is off the Endangered list, but it's still illegal to hunt them.

They're protected by other federal laws -- I forget the details, but I heard that on NPR.

[NoGOPZone]

24. third shot?

whom did he hit with the first two?

[catmandu57]

25. His hunting buddy

and a lawyer is what I've heard.

[Toots]

26. As it turns out it was Steven Junior

Colbert's baby boy...

[The River]

27. Think Land Development

Follow the money.....
Areas around nesting sites were off limits to development.
Now the rules have changed...

Eagle themed subdivisions will now be sprouting
up like mushrooms after a long rain. Eagle habitat will
degrade and their numbers will decline...again.

[bvar22]

28. Captive Freedom

Habeus Corpus, Cheney already bagged this Eagle

[nam78_two]

29. Hard to distinguish between satire and reality these days

I mean we are talking about the guy who: a) shot his buddy in the face (and the shot-in-the-face guy apologized to him after that! "I am sorry my face got in the way of your bullets Mr.V.P." :eyes:), b) claims his office is not part of the executive branch, c) killed 75 birds in one evening at a canned hunt and on and on..

[uppityperson]

36. That it is. Real life imitates The Onion imitates Real life...

[Hong Kong Cavalier]

30. I knew this was satire before I clicked on it...

but a part of me wouldn't be surprised if Darth Cheney actually did it.
Not at all.

[bleever]

33. Guess what, America: Freedom tastes a lot like chicken.

:patriot:

[KoKo]

35. Kick....Because it's a HOOT!

:rofl:

[Zomby Woof]

37. The reason I know this is fake

Is Cheney would have missed the eagle and hit his hunting companion.

(And it was on the threatened species list, which is one tier less severe than endangered)

[lonestarnot]

39. Ignorant blood slut.

I despise that motherfucker.

[OneBlueSky]

40. thought he only bagged bald lawyers . . . n/t

.