Which version of the Ten Commandments should we post in schools?

[Bucky]

Republicans are genrally adament about the need to post the Ten Commandments in public school classrooms. As if the two Columbine psychos would have read a copy and given their foreheads a collective V-8 juice slap, saying "What the heck are we thinking? We can't do this! It's against the Commandments!"

The problem is, there's more than one version of the Ten Commandments, depending on whether you're reading a Torah, a Protestant Bible, or a Catholic Bible. Assuming that they finally pass all their Constitutional Amendments (prayer in school, no abortion, no gay marriage, no flag burning, Austrian body builders are exempt from the "natural born" clause on presidential qualifications, dogs only allowed to ride on the roofs of motor vehicles...) and schools have to start mounting copies of the Ten Commandments everywhere...

Which version of the Ten Commandements do you favor giving official government sanction to?

[Turbineguy]

1. Sigh.... more stuff

on the bulletin board.

[Demeter]

2. How About the Declaration and the Constitution, Instead?

They at least are enforceable in a good year.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

3. Not only should it be posted in the ORIGINAL Hebrew

but also everyone should have to study that language and be aware of how it uses language to explain thought. The way of thinking of the ancient Hebrews, as I understand it, was different from, say, the Greeks, who saw separation--ie, something could be A or B, but not both; in Hebrew, a thing could be A, B, AND AB.

And all Christians should learn a smattering of Aramaic, since that is the language Jesus spoke--and learn how one thinks in that language. At the very least, I wish all Christians would know that the Aramaic word for God is "Allaha". Wonder how that would change perceptions?

[Bucky]

4. The Heston shot

Oops, that's not it. Ah yes, here's the picture I was thinking of.

[Nikki Stone1]

5. The 10 Commandments of Driving

1. You shall not kill.

2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.

3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.

4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.

5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.

7. Support the families of accident victims.

8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.

9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.

10. Feel responsible toward others.

[Bucky]

7. I liked John Paul's version better: "Hey don't shoot the Messenger"

In any event, I'm pretty sure Charlton Heston smashed up that document too. The man was hell on memos.

[Wwagsthedog]

6. None! nt

[burythehatchet]

8. Other: The Dude's version

[Bucky]

9. Well, that was a cryptic response. Are we talking about the Dell Dude?

And where the heck is that jovial stoner, anyway? A nation misses him.

[burythehatchet]

10. The Dude of the Big Lebowski

[Warren DeMontague]

12. Dude only wanted his rug back.

[mcscajun]

11. George Carlin's version.

GEORGE CARLIN ON THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
You can listen to it here:
www.georgecarlin.com

The critical point:
"Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself."

[ChairmanAgnostic]

20. thank you!

I vote for this one.

[JVS]

13. The Lutheran/Catholic version

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

14. What about the all-important 11th Commandment?

"Thou shalt not stuff 47 tennis balls down thy toilet."

46 is acceptable for those skeptics who wish to defy the rules.

[Bucky]

17. You know, a strict constructionist read of that commandment...

allows you to stuff 47 tennis balls down your neighbor's toilet.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

21. Only if the neighbor is an infidel.

[Warren DeMontague]

15. Mine:

1. Thou Shalt Mind Your Own Fucking Business.

2. Thine Neighbor's business is none of thine own business, insofar as thine neighbor doth not make thine neighbors business your business, or is otherwise interfering with anyone else's business.

3. Sex is good. People like it. Deal with it.

4. If you absolutely have to be so fucking ridiculous as to make a plant against the law, criminalize poison oak.

5. Cluster Bombs and land mines are far more offensive to mine eyes than a titty at half time.

6. Evolution is a fact, the Earth is 4.7 Billion years old, and your closest relatives are the chimpanzees. Deal with it. Imagine how the chimps feel.

7. It don't mean a thing if it aint got that swing. The universe is a dance.

8. There's no excuse for domestic violence. Come to think of it, there's no excuse for any other violence, either.

9. Take care of the planet. For the time being, it's the only place you've got.

10. Stop looking to invisible, imaginary men in the sky to tell you what to do and give you the answers. Figure it out yourself, schmuck! The future's here. You are it. You are on your own.

[peacebird]

16. how about the Golden Rule instead? Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

[yankeeinlouisiana]

18. I really don't get all of this religion stuff.

I went to Lutheran schools from K-12, never in any of my classrooms or hallways or anywhere else in the school were the 10 commandments posted! We had religion class once a day in the morning then we had the rest of the subjects, math, english, science, etc. The two never intertwined, not even in science class!

I just do not understand all of this nonsense.

[SalmonChantedEvening]

19. Get the 3 tablet version from History of the World Part 1

"These 15"

*crash*

"Oi."

"ten ... ten commandments, for all to obey!"