I am the luckiest and happiest father in the world tonight.

[Old and In the Way]

It had nothing to do with Live Earth, either.

I got the call tonight that every parent dreads. A call from a hysterical son just involved in a car accident. The first seconds of that call is something that I will never, ever forget. "What's wrong?...slow down....are you OK...ARE YOU OK???? Was anybody with you? OK, relax,,,take deep breaths. It's OK, Tom, we'll get through this. Are you sure you're alright? Where are you?". He had just run our car off one of the many dirt back roads we have up here, avoiding a deer that was in his path. He was traveling too fast, locked the brakes, and swerved to the side. He caught the shoulder, went sideways and flipped the car twice before coming to a rest up against a pair of 12 in. diameter ceders. Thankfully, he had his seat belt on and the airbags deployed. When I got to the scene, he was walking around, a bump on his head, but otherwise without a scratch.

I've warned him incessantly about his speed. I've warned him about deer at night and how they can trot out of the woods without a second thought to your approach. But what can you tell an 18 YO male with 2 years of driving experience under his belt? He knew it all and had the world dicked.....just like I did when I was 18. Well, tonight, he learned some new things. He learned what it's like seeing your life played slowly in front of your eyes. He learned that he might never get a chance to say "I love you" to mom, dad, and sis. He learned he was indeed a mere mortal.

I'm out a car, $125.00 towing, and higher premiums. But I couldn't be happier.....because I still have my son in one, functioning piece. A son who learned quite a bit tonight.

[SeattleGirl]

1. I am so glad your son is all right!

And you certainly have your priorities straight! :hi:

[xultar]

2. AMEN! Glad he is ok.

[DesertRat]

3. I received a similar call a couple of years ago

Thankfully, like your son ours came through it in one piece. Give him an extra hug, he'll need it. :)

[riderinthestorm]

4. 19 year old daughter, same concerns. I am sooo glad your son is ok.

:) (I want to sob and cheer at the same time - a huge and important lesson was learned tonight. So glad it went the right way for you and yours.)

[MonkeyFunk]

5. Congrats...

that certainly is a reason to feel lucky. I'm glad he's OK.

[calimary]

6. I'd feel the same way. He's alive. Who cares about the other stuff?

Excellent news! If it had to be a car accident, glad it turned out this way.

[1932]

7. This is nice. But you're probably better off if you delete some parts of this

before your insurance company reads it.

[Ghost in the Machine]

8. I'm glad he is ok..

the car can be replaced... (I know I didn't have to tell *you* that)

Maybe he'll heed the lesson he learned. I know I did when I was his age.. a little younger, actually. Some things you just have to learn on your own, no matter how many times someone else tries to teach you.

[Maat]

9. I'm glad you appreciate that!

So glad he's o.k., and I'm proud of you for realizing what's important, staying calm, and getting through the crisis!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

10. My dear Old and In the Way!

What a great story....

I am so pleased that your son learned this vital lesson!

What a relief ...

He didn't learn it too late.......

Thanks for sharing!

:hug:

K&R

[smtpgirl]

11. Glad your son is ok

Kudos to your son

[Control-Z]

12. My son is 16

I haven't yet allowed him a license. It's a scary thing.
I'm so happy for you, your son and your family.

[Old and In the Way]

24. When he does, feel free to print this out and have him read it.

Tom learned a frightful, but, I think, valuable lesson that will stay with him the rest of his life. He's really a good kid, quite responsible, and never a problem. But his driving confidence exceeds his driving experience.....and that's a universal problem in 18 YO males. We had that very conversation again last week....but nothing I could say will replace what he's just experienced tonight. I'm thankful that the cost of this lesson was only a car.

[Control-Z]

31. Thank you

I've bookmarked it already thinking I would have him read it when the time comes.

Again, I am so happy for all of you. So very happy.

[swimmernsecretsea]

13. I just can't make up my mind

Which of you is the luckier and is happier to have the other? I think it's a tie. Thank goodness that your son is ok, and that he loves and appreciates all of you. And you him. What a great story. Thanks for making an already bright and sunny weekend even more wonderful. May all of you cherish and love each other for years to come.

[amitten]

14. I'm so glad he's okay. And he will be safer, I'm sure. n/t

[Decruiter]

15. What a great night for you to have. Lots of peace your way and what an

incredibly rich attitude to share with us all.

Most of all are the lessons learned by your young one and the peace you have in those lessons learned. We are mortal.

[Just-plain-Kathy]

16. Thank goodness he's alright!!!

My sixteen year old just pasted her road test. ...The grey hairs are coming.

[poverlay]

17. Salut! Congratulations. As a father ...That phonecall is one of my worst nightmares. Thank all

that is holy that your son is ok.

[Harry Monroe]

18. My son is 14 and may be driving as early as next year

Since my wife has rheumatoid arthritis and can't get around too much and I am out of the country a lot due to my work, my son may be eligible to get his license next year to help drive his mother around. Your story is a cautionary tale for me and I'll be sure to share it with him.

Thank God your son was all right. Bless you.

[Captain Angry]

19. Since all is well, I can share a silly story.

My first accident was when I was 18. And I knew I was in trouble.

I had backed out of a driveway, and some jerk came flying around the corner, and I tagged him pretty good. He was going so fast that I dented his front passenger door, and his rear passenger door, with no marks in between the dents. (I must have bounced forward as he kept going forward.)

I figured it would be his fault because he was going so fast.

It turned out, no.

But I knew I had no say in what was going to happen when the guy had to literally spell his occupation out to the cop taking the stories down.

He spelled out "physicist" to the cop. I was a high school kid. I was screwed. :-)

Glad your son's ok. Those deer have a nasty habit of walking out in front of people where I live too. A friend hit two deer on his trip last month.

[hfojvt]

20. hmpf. I think MY dad is luckier

but I doubt if he appreciates it.

I do think it is nice when a young person learns something without it being the hardest way.

[Eurobabe]

21. Glad that your son is alright, those killer deer are awful

I hit one 15 yrs. ago. It jumped in my path on a dual lane highway, I was doing 55 with an SUV that had a brush grill, it was a terrifying experience.

Glad that your son had his seatbelt on, and that the airbags deployed. The car can be replaced, your son cannot. :hug:

[Kurovski]

22. I'm happy for your joyful relief and your son's epiphany.

Congrats! :-)

[gulliver]

23. That's great OAITW. n/t

[NanceGreggs]

25. So glad it all turned out right!!!

:hug:

[Old and In the Way]

26. Well, I've got 17 new gray hairs I didn't have before....

:-)

[NanceGreggs]

28. So now you look even more distinguished ...

... along with looking relieved!

[stevedeshazer]

27. I got that same call four months ago

My son, 19, totaled the family car.

Overconfident, he turned left in front of some guy who smashed into him and spun him around twice, 720 degrees.

I'll never forget the look on his face; he was sure I was going to give him the ass-chewing of his life. I just hugged him and said I was glad he was okay.

Yeah, our insurance went up. Beats the alternative.

He's got his own car now and drives it like a baby. :)

[Old and In the Way]

29. Glad yours had a happy ending as well.

Told #1 son that my payback will be in 30 or so years when his son gets his liscense; then he'll get to enjoy the same fears and frustrations that he's put us through...

Tom told me that he never wants to drive a car again. That should last about 4 days, I think.

[sandnsea]

37. A guy ran a stop sign

hit my daughter just a few weeks after she got her first car. I never thought about being grateful for the fender bender, but I suppose the reality of what could happen may well have gotten her attention too. I don't think she's had any traffic incident since, 5 years now, not even a ticket.

[Bryan Buchan]

30. Very happy to hear that...

...I was involved in a very similar situtation, minus the deer and plus 4 more roll overs before I came to a stop between some trees...All three of us were fine except some bruises...peace be with you and your family.

Gassho.

[villager]

32. Father of two sons here -- neither of them drive yet, but I get every syllable of your post

Thank God your son is all right...

[Laurier]

33. All's well that ends well

As harrowing as it must have been, it's good to see a happy result and lessons well learned. It's funny how real life experiences leave such important impressions upon us that tend to permeate other aspects of our lives.

I'm so happy for you that your son is fine, and so happy for your son that he has learned some valuable lessons that he will take with him from this day forward.

[lligrd]

34. Thanks For Reminding Me To Tell My 18 Year Old Son

How much I love him.

[shanti]

35. give thanks

that your son is doing ok. he got a sobering lesson, but is still here in one piece. i understand, as mine is 17 and driving too :scared:

[sandnsea]

36. What a terrible scare

I've gotten a bad call or two with four kids, but never something quite that frightening. I am so glad all turned out well for you and your family. I hope your son never forgets this night. :hug:

[Duppers]

38. from the mom of a 20YO

Big hugs to you both 'cause I know how you feel.


:grouphug:

[The Backlash Cometh]

39. Big hug to you and your family!

[Solly Mack]

40. Glad he's OK!!!!

(((hugs))) to you all!

[malaise]

41. Great news but

have that bump on the head checked out.

By the way, we can warn them all we want - experience is the best and often most expensive teacher. Now he knows his father gave him good advice. Your credibility will rise in his eyes.

[Ferretherder]

42. Actually, OAITW, life lessons like that are NEVER cheap.

I recall a little snippet of a line from ' The Road Warrior' - 'looks to me like you got a bargain'.

I am so very glad your son is OK. Every once in a while, a few good things still do happen in this world.

[frogcycle]

43. spot on

I learned that lesson when I was even luckier - lost control on a back road and did two full 360 deg spins, but stayed on the pavement. I sat there looking at the trees I could have smashed in to, thinking of some friends killed only a few weeks earlier by hitting a bridge abutment, and decided maybe I was mortal.

[Sadie4629]

44. So glad your son is OK

All kids have to learn things the hard way. You can rest assured that your son has learned one of the most valuable driving lessons he could have. He will always be alert for deer, will slow down considerably, and always wear his seatbelt.

[trof]

45. Man, did you hit a nerve.

Yep, that's always the first question.
"ARE YOU OK?"

A while back my daughter, 1500 miles away, called to report she'd badly sprained her ankle. She was 6 months pregnant and needed our help, especially mom's.

But the very first thing she said was "DAD, I'M OK, but..."
Those are the words I want to hear.

Glad your boy is OK and I'm sure he's learned a hard lesson.
Maybe that'll stand him in good stead in the future.

[shadowknows69]

46. Great news Old and In the Way

n/t

[snappyturtle]

47. So glad your son is OK and has seen the light! I know because

I lived in northern MN for 15 years prior to moving here in TX. My kids were a constant worry with the driving and deer thing...I know this may not sound helpful but my insurance man up north told me to always hit the deer rather than trying to avoid it because that's when the worse of two evils happens. He said the insurance industry knows that hitting a deer is more survivable than hitting a tree, or worse. Again, I'm so happy you!!!!!!!!! :hug:

[Old and In the Way]

56. Thanks! That's exactly what the state trooper at the scene said.

Too many people, in their desire to avoid hitting a squirrel, deer, other animal end of paying a huge price, sometimes with their own life. He told my son that the seatbelt probably saved his life....he's seen accidents similar to this with no survivors because no one was wearing their seatbelt. That's one thing he's always been conditioned to do....buckle up.

[Matsubara]

48. Congrats, great news!

:toast:

I gave my dad a similar scare when I totaled my brand-new car at age 18, just about 20 years ago. I was pretty surprised at the time how pissed he WASN'T, but now that I have kids of my own, I understand it. The thought of putting my kids behind the wheen of the car at any age under 21 scares the hell out of me. I'm glad at least the driving age here in Japan is 20, and it takes a lot of expensive lessons to get a license.



But that mortality thing? I dunno. I totaled a car at 18, fell in a pitch-dark night into a 9 feet deep concrete ditch at 28, and both time was lucky to come out with very minor injuries, but I didn't really grasp the mortality thing until the last couple of years.


I was never one to flirt with danger or anything, but ... well, anyway. I'm glad your boy's all right.



Oh and by the way, I really, really miss that 18-year old feeling of having the world dicked. Nothing better. And if I know 18-year-olds, he thinks he got away with something. Unfortunately, these kind of things have a way of making boys that age even MORE convinced that they're charmed and can make it through anything.


But he'll figure it out eventually. :)

[area51]

49. I'm so glad your son is okay. (n/t)

[Subdivisions]

50. You are indeed a lucky father! n/t

[SalmonChantedEvening]

51. Glad he's unhurt OAITW

:hi: :hug:

[Blue_Roses]

52. Oh, gosh!

Just reading your story made my heart swell! I have two children and I dread, DREAD the day they start driving! I'm so glad your son is alright:hug:

I got my license at 15 (this was years ago in Louisiana--tells how old I am) and I had a wreck eight months later. I pulled out in front of a car without looking twice and was broadsided. It totaled out my car and shook the hell out of me. To this day, I double and TRIPLE look (and sometimes more) to see if a car is coming and that's been over 30 years ago.

Hopefully, this will be the same for your son--a valuable lesson. He must have a great purpose in this life. He was spared from what could have been a tragic ending. In a few years, when my two are driving, I'll be looking to you for advice--okay?:D

Take care and tell that son of yours...well, I'm sure you already have:)

:hug:

[shadowknows69]

53. Actually I consider my first, and only DUI a blessing

Got it when I was just 21 and I wasn't actually too drunk when they caught me but I was a habitual drunk driver before that. To the point I easily could have killed myself or someone else someday. Take 1000 bucks out of my pocket and I learn my lesson though.

[Old and In the Way]

58. The attitude about drinking and driving sure has changed in 40 years.

I got into some similar trouble when I was 17. Drinking age was 18. Which meant 16-17 YO had easy access to the stuff. There was no big public awareness campaign back then. Luckily, alcohol is something that my son has no big interest in (unlike his father at that age), I've never even suspected him of having a beer. He's into football and will be playing Div.III ball this fall...his idea of a night out is going down to the local gym and working out.

[Nimrod2005]

54. Awesome!

[notadmblnd]

55. you're son is so very lucky

and I'll bet he won't speed down dirt roads ever again. You know, I've told my son (14) hundreds of times, that I don;t have to beat his ass when he does something wrong, cause he's gonna do it himself. More than once he's come back to me after making the wrong decision (insert here; a very funny story about a pair of underpants, a girl friend and gift giving), and told me I was right about the ass beating part.

Again, I'm an so glad your son is ok. Cars can be replaced, our children can't.

[rubberducky]

57. Totally understand where you are coming from.

When my sonand his friends started driving, I bought a police scanner. I had a list of license plate # of everyonr he would be with. Heard a couple of tickets given. Yes, I was a paranoid mom. But, I only had the one child, no spares. He was my life and my heart (still is). I only got through those young driving years because of my scanner.

[Old and In the Way]

59. Thanks to everyone posting kind thoughts in this thread.

DU is the best damn community on the 'net. After I had decompressed and reflected about the events of last night, it really helped me to put my thoughts in writing....we share so many common dreams, hopes, and aspirations for ourselves, our children, and friends. I don't do a lot of personal threads, but I was so damn thankful and cognizant of the many ways this could have been turned out, I just felt compelled to share it with you folks.

[shadowknows69]

60. Anyone with your screen name

and a picture of Pig is my friend by default. ;-)

[lildreamer316]

61. Hugs all around to your family.

I am so very glad he is ok.
Take it easy today...:grouphug:

[caligirl]

62. wow. about the speed thing and teens, at the time we gave our son

a used 1.8 wolfsburg jetta(2002)we also sent him to the Bondurant driving school near Salinas Ca. the track is identical and was used for a racing video game they play, complete with Oak tree at a dangerous curve with a hill. After that he never drove to fast. He seemed to get it out of his system driving their sports cars etc. cost us about 1300 but he talked about the day long event for two years.He drove an assortment of cars on the race track and learned some good skills. I'd do it again for our next kid.

[uppityperson]

63. Very glad he is ok, I got 1 of those calls too, too excited "Mom, I'm ok".

alright, why are you calling to tell me this? Deep breath and onward.

I was glad that no one got hurt but 3 teenagers got the crap scared out of them. It took Jr a while to want to drive again "I could've hurt my friends". I am glad for non-injury accidents for teenagers to learn from. Glad yours is ok (flipped twice?!?) and welcome to the group of parents who have gone through this.

Edited to add beware of the deer you can't see. You can see 1, but frequently it is the one that you don't see that suddenly jumps out to join the one you can see. I learned to beware the 1 you can't see a long time ago after almost hitting it.

[mirrera]

64. God Bless you! Mine is 19 and I only sleep when I know he is home. n/t

[roguevalley]

65. miracles happen. I am so very glad for you all.

[Skittles]

66. my dad would have kicked my ass

he certainly would not have considered himself lucky LOL....of course, when I was 18 I was enlisted and owned my own car. :D

[Old and In the Way]

67. I was thinking I'd outsource that to the best ass-kicker on DU!

My days of kicking his ass are over, I'm afraid....

[annabanana]

68. Every parent's nightmare & most fervent prayer... all at once.

I can feel the heat of the hugs from here.

[B Calm]

69. Driving my 18 wheeler, I see horrible accidents all the time. Thank

god your son was alright. He learned a lesson about driving at night, from now on I'm sure he will slow down and be on the alert for deer.

The biggest fear a truck driver has, is being in an accident with a four wheeler. You might tell him the "Rule Of The Road" about sharing the road with 18 wheelers, the one with the biggest wheels always win!

[Old and In the Way]

70. That's a whole 'nother thing to worry about.

Neither of my kids get much driving time on the hi-ways. They're driving is pretty limited to rural towns and back road trips to the big city (Bangor). I shudder to think about them diving down to say, Worcester, on 290....

[Javaman]

71. I can personally guarantee that he will drive safer from this point on...

It worked for me when I was his age and got into a wreck. Nothing like the fear of god to humble ones driving.

[Breeze54]

72. Scary! I have three sons but only the youngest has had a fender bender.

He bought his own car. Paid cash with money he earned.

He's 18 yrs. old too and has had his license for less than a year.

I figured he'd be more careful if he bought and paid for his own car.
He was in a hurry to get to work one day and was running late.
It was rush hour and as he pulled out of our driveway, an SUV was speeding
by and hit my son's front-left quarter panel. My son has an older car - 1995.
My son drove away, shaken up with a little damage but the other guy had to be towed.

My son got an SR22 as a result but no ticket.
I made him request a hearing but they're back-logged for months. :grr:

Meanwhile, he's paying more for insurance and more attention and he's VERY careful now!

Glad to hear your son is OK!!