MARK MORFORD: Bush Pardons Entire GOP

[FourScore]

Bush Pardons Entire GOP
Prez "pre-emptively" saves all Repubs from becoming "prison bitches." Dems: "Can he do that?"
By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Allegedly reacting to some sort of hallucinogenic fever dream following an overlong bubble bath during which he reportedly sputtered lots of motorboat noises and ate one too many purple crayons, President Bush today made the stunning yet somehow entirely understandable announcement that all Republicans in his administration are hereby officially excused from any and all crimes they have committed, are in the process of committing, are planning to commit, or even merely fantasize about committing while encased in sweaty latex bodysuits in any one of a number of GOP-friendly D.C. fetish dungeons.

"People! My people!" Bush shouted suddenly during an otherwise completely useless press conference, raising his arms over his head and tilting his head back and convulsing slightly, just as a nameless reporter finished asking a question about... oh like it even matters because we all know the answer would've been complete bulls--- anyway so let's just say, immigration policy reform.

"Come to me, you shockingly large numbers of corrupt and disgraced Republican senators, representatives, aides, deputies, secretaries, lobbyists, governors and mayors and secretly gay meth-snorting right-wing Christian evangelists, and I shall remove from you the burden of legal, ethical, spiritual and yes even genital responsibility for all crimes you have almost certainly committed under the dark umbrella that is me! I am the walrus!"

Bush was apparently emboldened by his unprecedented and widely reviled commutation of L. Lewis "Scooter" Libby's prison sentence just recently, a move widely considered to be one of the more repellent abuses of power in a kaleidoscopic drunken funhouse of abuses lo these past 6.5 years, though he appeared to be staring up at the heavens as he spoke, just little bit astonished that lightning was not striking him dead on the spot.

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2007/07/11/notes071107.DTL&nl=fix

[K8-EEE]

1. Gads, not too far from the truth, is it!

ALL republicans are automatically forgiven by God AND the President, that's just the way it works, ask Senator Vitter....

[FourScore]

4. MM is soo funny, but this does hit close to home. n/t

[badgerpup]

2. K & R

Read the whole article.
Last bit especially.

Yeah, wouldn't it be great? :banghead::nuke:

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3. kick

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5. kick