Roger Ebert Commentary: Chris Curveball & the Blonde Bomb (Ann Coulter)

[swimmernsecretsea]

July 3, 2007
by Roger Ebert

Following is the transcript of Chris Curveball’s televised interview last night with Ann Coulter, held before a group of high school students. (bolding is mine.)

CHRIS: We’re here to talk about the new book by right-wing commentator Ann Coulter, but first, Ann, we have a woman on the line who wants to ask you something.

ANN (uses fingers to comb back long blonde hair): Right wing! That’s a new one.

CALLER: Hello, Ann? I’m calling to ask why you were so mean to my mother.

ANN (runs fingers through hair): I don’t suppose your mother has a name?

CALLER: Mildred Quaker. And you said she was mean and ugly, but you never even met her, because she died years ago.

ANN (tosses back blonde hair): I happen to know that, darling, because I tripped over her tombstone in a cemetery and got grass stains all over myself. Was that my fault? When these Quakers insist on being pacifists who can be buried anywhere they want to be?

CALLER: We’re not Quakers. We’re SDA.

ANN (shakes out hair): FDA? Are they inspecting cemeteries now? The Chinese commies have been making our corpses into toothpaste.

CALLER: No, SDA stands for Seventh Day Adventist.

ANN (braids hair): Vegetarians. Enough said.

CHRIS: So what do you want to ask Ann, caller?

CALLER: Did you notice my mother’s death date? Because it was the same day as your birthday?

ANN: Is that my fault?

CALLER: It has been a family secret that my mother died giving birth to you, and you were put up for adoption.

ANN (unbraids hair): Orphanages are part of the whole socialist agenda. Begging in the streets has traditionally been good enough for orphans…

CALLER: That’s so mean…

ANN: …and people love to adopt pretty little blonde girls.

CHRIS: Many people have protested some of the things you’ve written, Ann. For example, you said Mildred Quaker has a bumper sticker saying, “I’m proud of my gay mass-murdering son.”

ANN: Is it my fault how she feels about her family?

Complete interview at this link: http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070703/COMMENTARY/70703001

[blondeatlast]

1. If I hadn't seen Ebert's name on the byline, I would have thought it was real.

He's got her down to a tee.

[swimmernsecretsea]

2. I've started to notice that "clawing at her hair" thing.

In another post I suggested that people start to bother her and argue until she's bald. Let's try it!

[NashVegas]

3. Oh Wow, He's Really Really Back & Writing

That column and four reviews. It's so good to see his byline.

[underpants]

4. Sadly that actually is more rational than she is

very good