Thank you...

[No Passaran]

I cannot tell you how moved I am by all the support that I have received here on DU. I got over 260 responses and more than 100 warm messages in my inbox. Last night something was eating me up and I just took my laptop and started writing, no spell check, no editing (except that minor part about being "gone". I didn't want you to freak out and think I was doing something like that.) I have read them all and this feels like the best medicine ever. Yes, I do know that tonight this might be great but tomorrow might be another struggle but I'm OK with that. I haven't taken my wife out to eat since my midtour leave back in 2005; I don't feel comfortable being in a crowded room always looking behind my back. Try spending 5 hours a day, 365 days out of a year scanning the road with your eyes for any little piece of trash, bottle, old tire, suddenly realizing you missed a spot and you close your eyes thinking if it happens just don't make me know I'm dying. Who would want to die thirsty in Iraq? Back to my evening, well I am taking that first step. I feel like surprising my wife and taking her out to eat tonight. Thank you for that. All of you...

I will leave answering one question: When did I realize that I needed help?

I live in a close military community where on the outside everything is great, swimming pools, barbecues and so on...but we all have our demons that come out at night. Imagine waking up and you feel like you're floating, your head hurts, your neck is so bad you wish there is some Iron Maiden around so you can strap yourself into it. I would hide in the bathtub, water running just sitting there for hours. Sometimes I would get emotional and sometimes I would just be mad at myself for being "weak". One night around midnight, my next door neighbor's wife comes to the door crying. I am immediately out of the bed and over the back lawn to her side door. My neighbor (he was in Iraq twice, different division) is in the bathtub crying, she's running cold water on him and is pleading with me to help him. I just said "God...I don't know what to do". If she only knew that I really had no idea. That I am just like him. It's like a patient treating a patient. I chickened out and ran back saying I will get my wife and she will help. My neighbor and I couldn't look at each other in the eyes until the day he left for his third tour of Iraq. He's still over there, keeping quiet hoping the demons will go away. I think I would have done the same if not for that one night where my wife woke me up and I found myself on top of her treating her like some enemy whose plan to blow me up went wrong and now I had the upper hand, choking her. The next day I went seeking help...the longer I waited the more reluctant I would have been.

[yardwork]

1. I wish that there was something I could say.

The only thing I can offer is to say that in my own experience with recovery (which had nothing to do with combat), the words and support of others who had experienced what I experienced were the most helpful. If it helps, do talk with other combat veterans.

Thank you for your service to our country.

[rubberducky]

2. Your words touch my soul.

You are a very, very brave person. I sincerely hope that you get the best help available. You so richly deserve it. Hold your head high for you truly are a hero.

[babylonsister]

3. Enjoy your meal and your wife, and you can vent here anytime!

I'm really glad you're getting help, and hope you feel some relief at not having to go back there to stir up the memories.
Now I can worry about your neighbor, too. Sure makes me wonder how many soldiers are going through what you are.
Take care!

:hi: :hug:

[elehhhhna]

4. Stop judging yourself. You are not weak. Your courage in

confronting this openly could save many lives.

I'm not convinced prayer works but I'll send some your way, just in case.

Keep posting.

Elena

[Doc Martin]

46. I am with you, Elena; I wish I had such courage.

[InternalDialogue]

5. GA Democrat, thank you for reaching out.

I read your post the other night and felt your trouble like you were sitting at my table with me. You make real what we talk about in abstractions every day, and that's the best way for someone like me to understand how desperate and how human this whole mess is.

I hope you and your wife have a fantastic dinner, and I wish you peace.

[ceile]

6. I'm very proud of you.

I know you don't know me from Adam, but I am proud of you. Taking the step to get help, taking small steps to recovery (as much as you can recover) are what is important. Going out to dinner is part of that, even it does sound like such a trivial thing. Here's to you and your family and good vibes for your long journey ahead. :hug:

[malaise]

7. My nephew could have been you

Daily I realize how lucky he was. He got out just before Fallujah.

[shireen]

8. it's shocking to hear this stuff first-hand

I don't have any contact with people in the military so hearing these horror stories are a real eye-opener. Please keep talking to us about your first-hand experiences, if possible. We need to walk a few steps in your shoes.

Have a great dinner date! :)

[corkhead]

9. Back at ya - Thank you for sharing with us.

[ClayZ]

10. Have a great time tonight!

K and R

[lyonn]

11. Recognizing there is a problem has got to be a good start

Talking and writing here where you are anonymous and no one will be judgmental should help. We humans do get hung up on emotional issues we may have and don't like to let anyone know that we "may" have a weakness. It is admirable when a person, and especially a man, can admit they need help, that they are hurting. Guys are suppose to be tough, wrong, they feel and react. It is acceptable for women to cry but not men in our society. I figure crying is a normal release from stress and pain. It will be something that you will probably deal with one day at a time, like getting over any trauma.

Now dealing with help from the military could be your next hurdle. I can't imagine dealing with some of the situations you and others have had to try to understand and accept. War's a bitch. Only chicken hawks would get us into one, they haven't a clue and they don't want to know.

[barbtries]

12. what a good feeling

DU is a wonderful community of caring people. no wonder i can't seem to stray far from it. and it's great knowing that i'm part of the mitzvah that gave you the impetus to take your wife out tonight. enjoy yourselves to the fullest; you deserve it.

[EFerrari]

13. Take care of you.

:hug:

On edit: DU has a Mental Health Support Group with wonderful folks posting there. Fyi.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topics&forum=276

[Gregorian]

14. This is the reality of war.

Every war.

I am so touched by your posts, but have no answer that is adequate. How to heal. How to end the destruction. How to make those pay who started this for a profit. But mostly how to just be happy. Now it's too late. But time will heal.

I hope you can reconstruct you life. Other than what you said about your possible neurological condition, I am hopeful that the mind and body do heal. At least that's what my mother always told me.

You aren't alone. Perhaps that is more important than anything.

[npincus]

15. I'm honored to be in the same community with you

I don't have the courage to face what you have, and could never have come out of it as you have. You can do it, you can do all the things you used to do and will in time. I hope you and your wife have a wonderful dinner out, and little by little, go back to enjoying all the things you used to. You can do it! Don't rush yourself, take your time and take care of yourself. :hug:

We're all on your side, pulling for you. :hug:

[file83]

56. I'll second that!!

Writing and talking about these problems is healthy on two levels. The first is for him. Nothing worse than keeping those feelings bottled up. Got to get them out there - get feedback - dissolve the isolation - increase the social support. The second is for the community - to become aware of someone's problems helps us understand what our fellow countrymen are going through, in the name of defending our nation. From that awareness comes compassion and help and action - Action to stop this war in its tracks.

[Blue Diadem]

16. Enjoy your evening with your wife.

:hug:

I'm glad today is a good day for you. I wish you both many many more good days.

[leftofthedial]

17. thank you for your service and your sacrifice

I'm so sorry our country is not more supportive or appreciative

thank you for sharing your experiences

[NMDemDist2]

18. just get a chair with your back to the wall & have a lovely dinner

my dear love, a VN PTSD sufferer, did that every place we went. It seemed to help.

:hug:

[FourScore]

19. I salute you, Sir!

I started to wish you a wonderful time with your wife. Then I decided that I really want to wish you a peaceful, contented time.

[HughBeaumont]

20. You cannot be thanked enough . . . or apologized to enough.

This administration has done the military and the country one of the most grave disservices in modern history. Your story represents that of countless vets across the country; you experience events none of us can imagine in our worst nightmares and come home to a life that more often than not went terribly wrong during this awful war.

My wife's cousin is a staff Sgt and serving under him is a friend from around the way. During his service, the cousin's battalion lost dozens of men (14 in the span of 48 hours), while on the shores, his mother died and new wife who just had his child left him. The friend told of Iraqis being openly shot while shopping, mortars whizzing three feet from his head and dealing with the nearby carnage and bloodshed that followed, and then gathering the remains of his IED'd fellow soldiers with sandwich bags. He, as you may guess, has PTSD and an already faltering marriage made worse by this debacle. And he's thinking his battalion will have to return when all he wants is for it to be over once and for all. This is what they have to live with the rest of their days. It's heartbreaking and painful to listen to, but it needs to be heard.

By instituting these demonic pigs, America has ruined you and itself.

I'm sorry.

We thought we did the right thing by kicking the rubber-stamp Repukes out of congress. Unfortunately, our newly elected Dems thanked us by giving the Failure Fuhrer a blank check.

We're all sickened and left wondering what it's going to take to bring the Ameristocracy down.

[robinlynne]

21. I admire you, and wish I could help in some way. You have already done more than you know

just having the courage to open up. It is the first step. I wanted to write before but everyone had already said it so beautifully. love and comfort to your and your wife.

[Yael]

22. Thank you

For your selfless service. Know that you will remain in thoughts and prayers. I hope you have a WONDERFUL time tonight with your wife. Just hug her and don't let go.

{{{hug for you as well}}}

[SalmonChantedEvening]

23. My good fellow, it is we who should be thanking you

And you did the right thing by saying you didn't know what to do. You were honest, and your neighbor will come to understand this if he hasn't already.

Thank you sir, for your service to this country, from the son of a WWII Vet, who was named for one who never came home.

:patriot:

[eridani]

24. Very glad that you went after help

Many in your position don't until it's too late.

[Cameron27]

25. Hi GA Democrat

I'm so glad you decided to get help. I just got this email and I thought I'd post it just in case you run into this situation.

Good luck and best wishes,



"Taking Care of Our Veterans

We have been disturbed by the stories that continue to surface about the
medical care being received by our returning servicemen and women.
Supporting our troops entails providing them with the complete, timely and
excellent care for injuries they sustained during their military service,
at the very least. Providing this care is a moral obligation for our
nation and should be our highest priority at home.

As an example of our concerns, recent stories are alleging that some
servicemen and women are being misdiagnosed as having pre-existing
personality disorders. However, the evidence suggests that they may be
suffering from injuries related to their service. This diagnosis has
resulted in these soldiers losing medical benefits.

We cannot ignore the possibility of an injustice to any of these veterans.
Technicalities and misdiagnosis should not cause them to lose medical
benefits. Therefore we ask you to join us in signing the petition below
which asks the Secretary of Defense to formally report in detail to the
American public on each of the issues raised in these allegations and
confirm that all of our servicemen and women are receiving the medical
benefits they have rightfully earned. If this is not provided, or if the
Secretary of Defense's report is inadequate, we strongly urge that
Congress hold hearings to allow our veterans to speak.

This war has many tragedies; we want to do whatever we can to make sure
this is not another one. Please join us."

http://web.davematthewsband.com/petition/

[truedelphi]

26. You got 260 responses initially and 100 more emails

And believe me a whole lot of people probably don't know what to say.

Reading your post is numbing. On some level, *if* we can get our country back, Iraq will eventually recede - but for you and your family that day may not come.

Remember that there often are County-based agencies that may be able to help. And setting up organizations amongst yourselves can be good as well.

But continue to educate us, we appreciate it and please continue to vent. The power of writing out one's experiences, one's politic thoughts, one's helplessness, one's desire and need to connect - these things are helping each of us on DU every day.

you were taught in boot camp how to kill and during your service you learned how to not be killed.

Now you need to learn to cry and let go. Not easy to accomplish when doing so "De-mans" the crier,in this fake "manly" setup our culture pretends is the norm.

[Terri S]

55. I am one of the possibly hundreds or more

that didn't know what to say. The more I read, the more I cried and raged inside for what war has done to you and thousands like you now, to my friends in Vietnam, and to my own dad in WWII.

Telling your story here took more courage than you give yourself credit for, and as you continue to speak out and seek healing, you bring healing and help to those who haven't yet gained the strength to do it for themselves.

Enjoy your dinner with your wife tonight and the many more to come. If and when it seems the darker shadows start encroaching, come here. We'll be holding a light for you .. always.

[roguevalley]

27. honey, we love you. Just be careful and well and know you are

loved here. You aren't weak. Those who don't go and get help are the sad ones. You are strong enough to know you need someone to help you. That takes a ton of strength and I'm proud of you.

[havocmom]

28. Admitting you can't solve it alone, asking for help, THAT is courage

That is love.

You're a good man. You deserve to feel better. Do the work to get there. It's possible. And it is worth it.

Glad ya checked in this evening. Means a lot to your DU admirers. Know you have friends you may never meet face to face, but who care and send good energy. Know many appreciate what you have done and what you are doing now.

You have a great native wisdom. Let it continue to serve you and you will be well served.

Stay strong. Remember to breath. It's sorta important ;)

[uppityperson]

29. Thank you and best wishes in a bad situation that a lot of others are in.

Seems like there has been too much not talking, too much fear about being "weak". Time to be human. Keep on getting help, please post back sometimes and check in with us so we know how you are. We may not know you personally, but we care about you personally.

[WildEyedLiberal]

30. You know, you really write beautifully. I mean that.

And I do NOT dole out that praise lightly.

Your thoughts and experiences are poignant enough on their own, but married to your eloquent expression, they transcend exposition and become something infinitely more artistic.

I think you should seriously consider writing a book of your experiences when you feel that you are ready to do so. You have an incredibly unique and articulate voice.

[Decruiter]

31. Thank you GA Dem for reaching out to all of us here at DU and for sharing

your journey into hell and back with us. I hope your testimony will help us to help you and all of the others that served with you, before you and after you.

You have lots of friends here, don't ever think you don't.

Peace.

[Maat]

32. Always know that you are in our family's thoughts and prayers.

My immediate family's and our extended DU family's.

You WILL heal!

My friend got much better by working with Veteran's For Peace - I'm very, very thankful for that organization.

Just remember how much we, as your extended family, need you and your truth.

Thank you for your service.

[Hekate]

33. Thanks for checking back in with us, GA Dem. You and your family are in my thoughts.

:hug:

Hekate

[RevolutionStartsNow]

34. Taking your wife to dinner is a small important step...

I know so very little about PTSD, but I do know that you are only one of thousands of soldiers (including your neighbor) who will be returning with the same hell in their heads.

I will pray for you, that you find some peace, and that your family recovers together. Wrap yourself in their love, I'm sure they are so relieved you are home and alive, however damaged you are. Small steps. One day at a time. One second at a time, when you need to.

And please know that so many people here on DU are thinking of you and wishing you peace.

[pingzing58]

35. It's Sunday morning here in Texas and you'll be in my prayers all day.nt

[Decruiter]

36. Sunday morning in Texas, what part of Texas do you live in?

You're kidding, right?

[lisby]

40. That explains what's up that state, huh?

On a perpetual speed bump in time.

[lostnfound]

37. Love from another DUer, and a small suggestion

Have you ever tried to do any creative activity like drawing or painting, or sculpture? Or even writing poetry or other fiction? Something to develop and free the emotions in an expressive way. Not just the good and clear emotions but the ones that feel scary or wrong or make you uncomfortable.

What you have written is very powerful. Thank you for posting it.

I've read many Jungian books such as "Iron John" or "The Reenchantment of Everyday Living" or "The Soul's Code" -- 3 of many, written in dramatically different styles, but all opening up the possibilities of seeing one's inner life in a new light. What you are going through with the nightmares and the fear of the demons may feel like a wild creature or horrible monster that is hard to contain, that you try to keep bottled up and controlled but it keeps coming out. There is a process of taking some of the ugliest or most rejected feelings within us and mulling them over in some creative manner that can help transform one's perspective of that inner monster so it starts to feel less like fomenting garbage and more like a rich compost or a resource for our own creative work. A big part of our psyche may simply scream at us that 'this stuff should never have happened' and that we don't want it to be a part of us, want to return to our "normal" selves, but it keep popping out in unplanned ways.

When horrible stuff is eating at you, you are caught between being not wanting to act on it and not being able to rid yourself or your thoughts of it; so we all try to repress it, but that doesn't work either. A Jungian might see it as "one of the gods denied", or might say that the intense experience of war creates particularly powerful "complexes" inside a person's head. The Greeks had gods for everything, and in particular were the 'daimons' who are "the spirits of the human condition: personifications of various states of existence, emotions, actions and morality".
http://www.theoi.com/Cat_Daimones.html

There is something helpful about being able to externalize our deepest feelings, for example, by learning about a greek deity who personifies what it is that is most troubling us. Something helpful about combing through the clutter to clarify those feelings -- are they feelings of fear (Phobos), terror (Deimos), anger (Ares), retribution (the Furies), confusion of battle (Kydoimos), helplessness, grief -- can make us feel less conflicted or able to cope with our conflicts. Thinking about those old conflicts in a different way is better than thinking about them in the same old rut, or in a vicious circle. There is a lot of wisdom in those old Greek writers, especially in how the various characters relate to one another.

[hootinholler]

43. That can be summed up in the express don't repress approach to PTSD

What little I know of it (precious little training and a few gnarly incidents I've had) it does help to find a channel of expression.

-Hoot

[PurpleChez]

38. I'm glad you knew you'd find support here.

I know first hand that being a Georgie Dem can seem lonely at times, and that doesn't even begin to touch on your experience, not by a long shot. But there are a lot of good people yet in the world, and I'm glad that you found some of them.

--another GA Dem

[lisby]

39. Keep talking to us.

Keep letting it out and sorting it out by telling us. We'll keep listening and sending all the positive thoughts your way that we can. Mine come on the e-wings of this message.

Peace to you, brother.

:hug:

[Evergreen Emerald]

41. you are an important voice for all of us to hear

You personalize the war for us and we (and by we I mean more than DU) need to hear the reality of war.

Your words have haunted me, and reduced me to tears. But that is ok. We all need to hear you.

My heart goes out to you and your family.

[The Wizard]

42. For too many years

after returning from the sunny shores, rubber plantations and rice paddies of Vietnam I'd be walking the perimeter of my property in the middle of the night. It wasn't until I got into a PTSD support group that I realized others were doing the same thing. The sooner you address it, the better off you'll be. If the VA tells you they don't have room in the program, contact your Congressman and demand treatment. The last thing a congressman wants is some pissed off disabled veteran hanging around his/her offices complaining.
And it looks good for them if they are able to help a veteran get treatment.

[colorado_ufo]

44. Every day, start again; every day, keep on.

And the day will come, and take you by surprise, when you will start to feel better. Just keep on, keep on, keep on!

Your family loves and needs you, and you have friends by the thousands.

Keep on, keep on, keep on! And by doing this you will not only help yourself, but you will give courage and hope to your fellow soldiers, who are facing the same struggles.

And write, whenever you want to and whenever you need to.

[Doc Martin]

45. I'm sorry we let you down and happy that you are very healthy

I see the health in your very human response to what you experienced. As I read your original post, I thought about the upset, anger, rage, fear, and all of the emotions, I said to myself: "this man has values and a spirit that cannot be crushed. Despite all of the horrendous experiences, he has never surrendered what is best about being human." I admire how much you care.

I wish we had not let Bush 2 use your commitment to duty for his ends. I am sorry.

I pray that the PTSD goes away. I wish you joy, engagement with life, peace, and lots of fun dinners with your wife.

Doc Martin

[pberq]

47. Keep posting!

As a fellow Gerogia Dem, you have my full support.

[merh]

48. I hope you and your wife had a great dinner.

You both are in my prayers as are your families and all the soldiers and the families of those who served and are serving, all who are making the sacrifices.

Keep writing, even if it is just here or on a blog, release those emotions so bottled up.

You are not alone and you are not weak.

You are human and your soul is still in tact, don't let that die.

:hug:

[HCE SuiGeneris]

49. Keep working it out of your system...

writing, punching bags, go hiking in the most serene places you know of -- take a reflective book or poetry and share it with your wife. Your humanness is also your salvation. I wish you and your family well. :grouphug:

[ooglymoogly]

50. There are just not enough words to imagine what you and many like you

are going through. The anger in all of us who began screaming of the injustice of war even long before it began are just heart broken that our predictions came so hauntingly true...Perhaps the best therapy is to pour your heart out on these blogs and we will be there for you... to comfort to help in any way we can....if nothing else only to commiserate about these horrific things that haunt you.

[UrbScotty]

51. All I can muster to say is, thank you for your service.

It is a damn shame that you have been treated as such.

[thereismore]

52. You are not weak. Using the words of my friend: "It it were easy, anybody could do it".

:hug:

[riona]

53. n/t

War is eternity jammed into frantic minutes that will fill a lifetime with dreams and nightmares.

~John Cory

[tblue]

54. I wish I could clone you.

You are a gift to all of us, do you know that? I will keep you in my thoughts. Enjoy your life, your wife, and everything you love. Just focus on that and you'll be alright.

best,
tblue
:hug:

[phildo]

57. More coping tips , if you need.

You are doing good. That is no bs. You really are. When I started I would have to write everything 5 times. Hand written outline, then handwritten full, then typed, then cut and pasted, and finally edited. Would take all day just to do a posting. :) You are doing a good job on just typing and flowing and going.

Restaurants – making me laugh on that. I forgot about it. The condition you are describing is called hyper-vigilance. The more items you must track the more distracted you will be. A lot of things to track and control in a restaurant. Too many. The way I managed restaurants was to do a visual recon on entry, verify avenues of approach and the exit paths. Choose your own seat, it is empowering and the hurt parts inside will know you are in charge and taking care of you. It will let them calm down a little. The seat I would usually pick had at least two exits, and the waiter/waitress could only approach from one side. My (ex) girlfriend would catch me scoping the exit signs and start bitching “you do not want to go out with me . . . . “ That relationship did not survive recovery.

Get into a group – not something ad hoc like the backyard fence, but somewhere there are other folks like you who are choosing to get through and get better. Becomes just like a fire team going through an obstacle course or MOUT. Best to have some competent BTDT “grown-ups” running it. My first group was an online that I picked because there was a Marine who slept with a K-Bar in it. I slept with a bayonet, so I did not feel like the craziest guy in the room. Did pretty good in it for a while. At about 6 weeks, I went bonkers and got kicked out. After a long break, the next group went much better. Just telling you so you know, if you fall down, you get up again.

Religion. If you got it use it. If not, that is ok, too. Work with what you have. Was just much easier for me that way. Not trying to preach anything at all to you, but you calling the nightmares “demons” got me thinking – back then I really did think they were demons that were trying to get me, and they would follow me into the waking – still going on. Since it was demons, I would call on Jesus and the waking nightmare would stop. Came to look at prayer as “Calling for Fire.” Drop to the knees, call out the hard targets, and let FA or CAS take it out. He hits 100%.

As far as the being “weak” or strong – nothing but vanity there. Can’t let that get in the way of getting better. You know a cast on a broken leg may be hard, and can support the broken leg while it heals a little, but if you try to keep the hardened outer shell on too long, it will make the leg weak and harm the healing. Same with your heart and soul. Just hurts some and needs some healing and may feel a little weak. Do not try to protect it by hardening it too much – just more you will have to clean up. Weak is not a big thing, you can come out stronger.

And yeah, it is going to hurt a little, but that is just part of healing. The T would tell me that “healing takes place just outside the comfort zone.” It was true. So FIDO, you have a getting better mission ahead.

[No Passaran]

58. hey y'all

I'm actually doing good this weekend. It's 3:55am and I just came back from the club. I've missed going to clubs. There were a lot of fights here between army guys coming back from Iraq and the locals but other than that, I've had some fun.
We ended up going to my friends house afterwards. He's been tagged as "non-retainable" by the Army but they're trying to say he's got some personality disorder. He's only been in 3 years so I feel bad for him. I've been in six so it might be a little harder for them to tag me with that but we'll see. If they do, I will let you know.

I love you. You're like my family now.

Yes, I believe in a higher being. I'm not religious. My parents are. Very.
What else? I have a little alcohol in me so forgive my incoherent writing tonight.
God bless you all.

SSG "GA Dem"

[Rosemary2205]

59. Yeah for you!!

And more hugs.

[RevolutionStartsNow]

60. Glad to hear you were out having fun, GA Dem...

Keep us posted on your progress. We're pulling for you.

[sicksicksick_N_tired]

61. You can't say the club experience helped you out, huh. Listen,...

,...I just did a google that may help you in substantive ways.

Check out the results: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=veterans+help+assitance+PTSD

I think I can say with some confidence that, going to a bar(s) where there's fights as you described, dismissing your friend's POSSIBLE personality issue, treating a discussion board like "family", and throwing out what appears to be something like lip-service (if that) to a 'higher being' is,...not healthy for you or your actual family and friends.

Also, if you are sincere about wanting help towards a stronger and healthier YOU,...google "enabler" along with key words about your situation (i.e. veteran). BEWARE the enablers.

Meanwhile, here is a :hug: and some encouragement: (1) there is not one human being on the face of the earth that is free from personal struggles; (2) more likely than not, you are just like most human beings who can't seem to put a finger on their own 'worth'; (3) all human beings are valuable,...if they contribute something beyond oneSELF; (4) you are not alone because there are millions who have similar struggles.

Good luck. Best wishes. Now, get to work on you and your life!

[proud patriot]

62. Thanks for keeping us posted

you are in my thoughts :hug: