I've got the answer! Make EVERYbody happy! Send the GOP to Iraq--a GOP paradise!

[DFW]

No, wait, hear me out! This is not some angry post wishing death upon
our political adversaries. This will make everybody happy, really! And
the blue States don't even have to secede from the Union.

What makes Republicans tick? I'm not talking about what WE think makes them
tick, I'm talking about what THEY say makes them tick. Think about it:

They think there should be unrestricted ownership of weapons. In Iraq, it is
practically impossible to imagine NOT being armed, and no one hassles you
for walking around armed to the teeth with weapons that even the governors
of Texas and Florida would balk at. Not just .357 magnums, but REAL men's stuff,
.50 caliber machine guns, hand grenades, RPGs.

The things Republicans worship most: Money and a control-freak God. The American
occupation forces have been somewhat careless with billions in cash sent over there
(I guess collaborators don't take Master Card), and there are still a few gazillion
barrels of proven oil reserves. Plus the Islamists are requiring women to veil up
again, and killing people who don't belong to the "right" religious sect. I mean,
they take their religion SERIOUSLY over there. Maybe not the Taliban or Saudi Wahabis,
but getting there. This is where Jerry Falwell's soul must have ended up. Cash and God
in unrestricted quantities--is this Republican Paradise, or what?

Small government. Hell, the Iraqi government is so inefficient, it might as well not
be there at all. They have no say in anything there. Well, OK maybe that is a slight
exaggeration, but even the most die-hard Republican would begrudge them the decision
of which species of Ibex to portray on their postage stamps. Aynthing else? Say BOO! and
they run for cover or the Green Zone, whichever seems less likely to be fatal at any
given moment. But it will stay out of their lives for sure. They way things are going,
they might avoid their own country altogether. That body armor we provided hasn't exactly
inspired a lot of confidence, if you get my drift. If it isn't gonna protect our own
guys, it sure as hell ain't gonna protect an Iraqi government official, and they know it.

In a nutshell, all the talk I have seen about giving Texas, Georgia, Alabama, etc etc.
up for lost is totally unnecessary. There are plenty of sensible people in those places,
and if we can convince large numbers of Republicans to emigrate to the Paradise they have
created for themselves in Iraq, I promise you the rents will get very affordable, and quickly.
Even Southern California would approach affordability again.

What do you say, people, anyone think it's time we chartered them a few planes with one-way
tickets to Baghdad?

[Warpy]

1. I think the Iraqi people have suffered enough

I'm afraid we'll have to keep those ignorant, greedy SOBs here and learn to deal with them, ourselves.

[DFW]

2. What, we have NOT suffered enough?