Are men weak if they cry?

[cally]

Once again I've seen a DU post making fun of a man for crying. Yeah, it was a RW crazy but I don't for a second think a man should be ashamed nor ridiculed for expressing emotions. It's time to explain the ridicule.

[Bluebear]

1. Context?

Crocodile tears? Rev. Swaggart "I have sinned" tears" or what"

[cally]

17. It doesn't matter

I believe all of us should be supported.

[Bluebear]

20. There is nothing wrong with crying, but the context would help explain things.

Never mind then.

[hiaasenrocks]

22. Probably my post.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=1358477&mesg_id=1358477

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

24. Sure it does.

Crying because your kid just died- OK.

Crying because you spilt your milk- weak.

[slowry]

30. .

[Maddy McCall]

34. Yes, it absolutely does matter.

See my post below.

[cally]

38. I don't agree

Absolutely, men and women have to show strength and the crocodile tears are to be disdained. But, my question was about how we view men's tears. I'm annoyed that men, just because they are men, are criticized for crying.

[Maddy McCall]

52. But men aren't criticized for crying just because they are men.

Not in the context you're asking about. And you know it.

[cally]

71. I don't know that

Yeah, I'm more than willing to accept that I'm being provocative. Too many men are criticized just for crying The whole discourse makes me angry.

[hiaasenrocks]

19. The context was omitted on purpose.

[cally]

32. I posted this in response to your post

and I did mean to make the discussion open ended. I wasn't trying to be crazy but I was just wondering how others would respond to an open ended question. So you're right. I did purposefully refuse to provide context because I wanted to understand how others saw this question.

[hiaasenrocks]

33. It was refreshing to see that the majority (so far) asked for context.

And interesting that you refused to provide it, your odd explanation notwithstanding.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

35. In that case, McCain is weak.

Not only is he weak, he's batshit insane. Not only is he weak, and batshit insane, despite that he's probably just faking because he thinks there are still a few weak, batshit insane suckers out there who will sympathize with him.

[Maddy McCall]

53. Yep.

[KittyWampus]

2. there's something wrong with them if they don't EVER cry.

[malaise]

48. Ditto n/t

[slowry]

3. I don't think the fact that it's a man crying is the point n/t

[BlooInBloo]

4. Were they making fun of him _qua_ man?

[Malikshah]

5. It's context. McCain and Boehner should be ridiculed. More importantly,

they should be rebuked. It would be nice if the Dems actually "gave them something to cry about" as opposed to these crocodile tears of shameless chicanery.

[Maddy McCall]

It's childish to force crocodile tears when one gets caught...

doing something that the person had no regrets about, prior to being caught.

For a man to cry out of sadness for whatever reason, no. For a senator to cry to try to gain sympathy because he's protraying his diaper-wearin' prostitute-solicitin' ass as a victim? Yeah, I'd say WEAK. (Same goes for women.)

[redqueen]

12. Aha, well fake-crying is different, isn't it?

That's just pathetic.

[aikoaiko]

6. One can't fight when one is crying.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

7. It depends on the context.

Care to provide some?

[cally]

25. Umm, no. I'm intrigued by the responses I've gotten....nt

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

28. Why not?

[BlackHawk706867]

8. I absolutely think that men are allowed to cry! The situation here

though is kinda, uncanny to say the least.... My question would be is John McCain to the point where he is suffering from Depression? My thoughts are, he may need to get on some meds to help him with Depression if that is the case.

ww

[hiaasenrocks]

9. LOL. I'll explain my post.

It wasn't about a man crying; it was about a group of people who are so bankrupt of morals and ideas that they're stuck with emotional arguments AND using emotion to garner support.

Think.

[Madspirit]

41. I thought you meant

I thought you meant because McCain's tears are crocodile tears and that they don't give a shit about all they kill and all they destroy and yet stand there publicly whining and crying. I support your post..<g>

Lee

[redqueen]

10. Of course not.

Crying releases stress hormones... if you feel like crying, you probably should.

It's a shame we're STILL so horribly bound to sexual stereotypes.

[hiaasenrocks]

14. It has nothing to do with gender stereotypes.

In the context we were discussing (which the OP left out on purpose) I would be laughing at women politicians for pulling the same stunt.

[redqueen]

21. Yeah... I read upthread and got the context.

Crocodile tears = laugh/mock-worthy indeed.

[Horse with no Name]

11. Crying because they pity themselves is weak and cowardly

You don't see them crying over the soldiers that have died for their lies.

[madokie]

13. no one is weak because they cry

the reason for the cry is sometimes maybe weak

[guitar man]

15. my father

Served on the front lines in Korea for 11 months, froze half to death and came home with 2 purple hearts and a host of other decorations for valor. Drove a truck for 35 years+. Toughest man I have ever known.

I have only ever seen him cry a few times in my life, when it really counted, but yes, he is certailny capable of it. I'd like to see some chickenshit freeper mae fun of him to his face for it. The freeper would wind up crying, I guarantee that!!

[kdmorris]

16. NO, they are not.

Men are human just like women. A natural human reaction to grief or sadness or even, sometimes, rage, is to cry.

As far as ridiculing RW crazies for doing this, it's pretty simple. When you are angry with someone, sometimes you will go after characteristics that you should not. We've all seen it when people call Ann Coulter a whore or a slut. These are pretty bad, too. Instead of reacting honestly to the evil that is Ann Coulter, they use terminology that is usually used to demean women. I cringe every time I see it. Like the Republicans don't have enough things we can rightfully ridicule without resorting to calling them names?

[TomInTib]

18. As someone who has witnessed more violence than anyone else I know...

I still cry about half the time when I see the faces of dead troops on Newshour.

Does that make me weak?

[peace13]

23. Are you referring to Voinovich?

He commits a sin against humanity and then gets in front of a camera to cry about it. Men crying as a response to their guilt is uncalled for. Same goes for women. Do the right thing *amn it and then you won't have to cry.

[treestar]

26. Men in general, especially on the RW, are overly concerned if they

"look weak" or "don't win." Same as the other double standards, men on the left can cry but men on the right should be called on it because they're the ones claiming men should not cry.

Some men would rather die or rather kill others than "lose" or "look weak." This is the PNAC mentality.

[BlooInBloo]

27. I commonly see girls reinforce this in boys.

EDIT: It goes without saying that boys reinforce this in other boys.

[Bluerthanblue]

29. absolutely NOT- this is

a real "hot-button" issue with me.

Being "strong" has nothing to do with not having emotions.

Men have been conditioned to deny their emotions, and to belittle those who don't do the same.

I think I read one thread where this was mentioned- and personally, i do think if the person was really on the verge of tears, they were genuine. Not for the reasons i wish, but more than likely genuine none the less.

* however, is someone who has learned to use "tears" to hide the lies he speaks.

Genuine tears from a man, are NOT a sign of weakness- rather the sign of a person who doesn't give a fart about 'appearing' to be strong, but hiding their feelings in "fear" of judgement.

end of rant-
peace,
blu

[BlooInBloo]

37. Ack! I've met my nemesis!!!!

:rofl:

[LanternWaste]

31. Any man who doesn't cry watching the film, "Brian's Song" was manufactured

Any man who doesn't cry watching the movie, "Brian's Song" was manufactured by Wal-Mart, not born to a mother....

[Toasterlad]

58. I REALLY Agree With This.

That movie is BRUTAL.

"I love Brian Piccolo. And I'd like all of you to love him too."

I'm tearing up just thinking about it. NASCAR! WWF! Scud Missiles! Ah, there we go.

That was a close one.

[tsuki]

36. Only when they are wearing diapers. nt

[Madspirit]

39. I saw that post

I think most here would totally support and be sympathetic to a man crying IF the tears were not crocodile tears. When McCain cries, sorry, crocodile tears and that's the difference.

Lee

[SOS]

40. In American politics and media

Republican men can bawl like a baby, as in the frequent Bush family waterworks displays.

Democrats who cry are are "wimps", as in Ed Muskie.

Simple, really.

[BlooInBloo]

42. I think there was some of that in SiCKO, about the "we love our mothers" bullshit, iirc.

[Madspirit]

43. Crocodile Tears Deserve NO respect regardless of the sex of the cryer...n/t

[leftofthedial]

44. yes

so are women

"weak" is not a perjorative in some cnotexts

[Swamp Rat]

45. Crocodile tears

[dysfunctional press]

46. well- if they NEVER cry, they're probably pretty fucked up.

nt

[RevolutionStartsNow]

47. Men OR women who cry...

to garner sympathy for their own irresponsible or illegal actions (think Paris Hilton crying over being sent back to jail) should be chastised, or at least not given the sympathy they are seeking.

As the parent of both a boy and a girl, I confess that I am tougher on my boy when he cries out of frustration because he didn't get his way, though he's actually more prone to this behavior than his sister is in the first place. I never ridicule and always comfort him when he is crying out of real sadness, pain or other anguish. In fact I tell him it's good to cry it out sometimes.

I know your OP was about another thread, but I do think it's a valid discussion point. Boys are told not to cry. My son's a bit of a crier, LOL. But along with that comes a very sweet and sensitive boy and I wouldn't change any part of him for anything in the world.

Now when a politician fakes his tears to make us think he actually cares, or is sorry, I have no sympathy. Just as I have no sympathy when some spolied teen queen cries because she has to take responsibility for her actions.

[in_cog_ni_to]

49. ONLY if it's a repuke on the House or Senate floor playacting to make people think they actually

have a heart. They don't give a rats ass about the troops. They deserve ridicule!

[Madspirit]

50. What if you're just a tiny little emoticon

:cry:

[RB TexLa]

51. Men and women both should control their emotions.

[Madspirit]

56. There's a healthy thought...NOT...n/t

[RB TexLa]

59. you don't think adults should control their emotions?

[originalpckelly]

61. Yeah, when it comes to controlling the urge to hit someone...

but crying doesn't inflict violence on other people. Come on.

[Madspirit]

63. People already stuff it way too much...

Crying is healthful unless you want heart disease, built-up rage, etc.
Lee

[MrSlayer]

54. It depends on what they are crying about.

There's a difference between shedding a tear over a loved one and crying because you got a paper cut.

[baldguy]

55. My brother crys all the time, about the siiliest things.

I'm not half as stong as he is.

[Feron]

57. No.

It's normal and healthy for a person to cry.

That being said, I can't stand people of either sex who cry at the drop of a hat or use tears as an emotional blackmail device.

[and-justice-for-all]

60. I will cry if I want too.

I dont give a shit what someone else has to say about. I think your weak if you will not cry.

[EFerrari]

62. No. But if they fake it for the camera, they're hypocrites.

Aka, Republicans.

[emilyg]

65. aka Bush

[terrya]

64. Of course not.

What a ridiculous question.

[LostInAnomie]

66. Unless it's for a REALLY good reason...

... I consider most people in general "weak" if they cry. That's just me though.

[HughMoran]

73. I despise people who think like you

I am going to put you on ignore - I can't deal with a person with an attitude like that.

[LostInAnomie]

78. Seems like kind of a silly reason to put someone on ignore.

:shrug:

I guess I'll just have to find some way to cope, I guess.

[Madspirit]

75. That is one disturbed view...n/t

[11 Bravo]

67. Who's to say. I literally had a comrade die in my arms ...

and afterwards got my ass chewed (and rightly so) for cradling him instead of putting out rounds. I didn't even have time to cover him with a poncho, and I sure as Hell didn't have time to shed a single tear.

On the flip side, I was in the delivery room when both of my sons were born, and I cried each time.

:shrug:

[DrDan]

68. gosh I sure hope not

I do quite easily

not sobbing or wailing - but I can sure get choked up and get a tear or two in my eyes easily

[Bake]

69. I cry over heartstring movies.

Like Steel Magnolias. I cried like a baby. All six times I saw it. Would do so again if I watched it a 7th time.

And I'll kick your ass if you make fun of me over it!

Because I'm a manly man.

Bake

[LWolf]

70. Crying doesn't make one weak.

Caving makes one weak.

[HughMoran]

72. Men are weak if they don't cry

Machines don't cry - I don't want to associate with machines.

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

74. If it's insincere, theatrical tears, which I have seen WrongWingers, including the Shrub

engage in, they are not weak, they are manipulative.

If it's a sincere emotional response, I don't find any weakness in it.

Then there is the case that is not gender specific, someone who cries at the drop of a hat. An emotional basket case. I feel sorry for those poor souls. I can't call them weak, I think they are in need of assistance.

[KillCapitalism]

76. I don't think so.

I've went through some times in my life that were so tough that crying it out was the only thing to help me keep my sanity.

[Jed Dilligan]

77. A man or a woman who cries easily and often,

unless he/she is suffering from an illness like PTSD, is (in my experience) either immature, weak, or manipulative.

But crying at truly emotional, life-changing events is appropriate for both sexes.