Have you been attacked and forced into a gay marriage today?

[noahmijo]

Then thank the God of your parent's choice for Rick Santorum because obviously it is his crusade against gay marriage that is the reason you remained safe and straight today.


This is my current response to people who think I should be grateful to Bush for the fact that no attacks have occurred on US soil since 9/11. Sure if you want to have an actual debate over that you could talk about how no attacks occurred under Clinton's watch after the 1993 bombing, or what a bumbling move it was to open the gates of a newly established Islamic Empire which will be forged from the civil war in Iraq but hey this is more fun and plus I'm through using those pesky little things we call facts on Republicans. The last 7 years have taught me that facts just confuse Republicans and they go into that same mode the computerized voice on the other end of the phone goes into when it can't understand you when you are screaming "CUSTOMER SERVICE REPRESENTATIVE!!!"

[EFerrari]

1. No! And, damn, I feel left out!

:mad:

[noahmijo]

3. you guys are getting the joke out of this I hope right?

it seems like it but just checkin before someone unleashes a tirade of hate speech on me :)

[EFerrari]

5. I'm so with you.

:hi:

[eppur_se_muova]

2. No, but the day's not over, so you never know!

Ooga booga wooga!

God bless Rick Santorum! :unbelievably:cynical:sarcasm:

[TomInTib]

11. You do know I am a lesbian trapped in a man's body, don't you?

And I am getting on the ferry right now and I have your phone number.

Yep, the day's not over, baby.

Tom

[eppur_se_muova]

21. "a lesbian trapped in a man's body"? How would you even figure that OUT? nt

[noahmijo]

24. Please don't encourage Bill O' Reilly like that

Tom sorry pal I couldn't resist! :)

[TomInTib]

26. How did you ever figure it out?

If they ban me here, I will RUIN them!

Ya got me?

I will scrub this site clean with my super falafel!

Then I'll finish off that Olberman punk!!!!!

[TomInTib]

25. Research.

I was/am Special Forces (SEAL) and when we were on R&R we would hang out in bars and act like idiots.

At some point, I realized that I could have a lot more success with women if I acted a bit more genteel than was our wont.

So I carried that over into civilian life. And it has worked for the ensuing 35 years.

Women (or the ones I am attracted to, anyway) like to be treated as women. And women know what women need.

Ergo...

[walldude]

4. Lesbian gangs with pink pistols are pounding on my door

as I type this.. Call O'Reilly! :scared:

[noahmijo]

6. Okay you know what I'M the sarcastic one here

And everybody knows Lesbian gangs carry Magenta pistols NOT Pink ones!

Man I really really hope people aren't taking my post the wrong way..hehe it seems like you all just want to share in the blatent disregard for civilized debate like me :)

[EFerrari]

8. Magenta is good but lilac is much better. More discrete.

:rofl:

[noahmijo]

12. I like your graphic btw for being a good sport I'll share with you the words of my dad

when it comes to the issue of homosexuals:

"If anything the more gay men out there the merrier! that's more women for us!"

or everyone's favorite "It is unjust that gay marriage is not legal-why does the government believe only straight people should suffer!?"

Oh yea he's a registered Republican too but after two years of Bush he recently went Indie. :)

[EFerrari]

14. My comic friend Will Durst's line:

"You want to stop gay sex? Let them get married!"

lol

[noahmijo]

15. lol that's good I will keep and repeat that one

[Staph]

29. I guess I've been misinformed all these years.

I thought lesbians carried pistols with plaid flannel grips.

[EFerrari]

42. Lol!

:)

[yella_dawg]

7. Twice.

Looks like a third before dinner.

I tell you, it's exhausting.

[Jade Fox]

27. Yer funny.....

:o

[xchrom]

9. no -- but i was forced into gay sex .

well maybe forced is a teeny weeny exaggeration --

[EFerrari]

10. I don't need to know this.

:rofl:

[xchrom]

28. ... ok now you got me doin it...

:rofl:

[radfringe]

13. my partner cooked supper tonight

I usually do the cooking, but I was tied up with my toons and doing some graphics for our local greyhound rescue group August fundraising event.

She offered to cook me dinner... does that count?

had kielbasa and porn'n beans... it was good...

[helderheid]

16. porn'n beans?

:wow:

[radfringe]

18. :ROLF:

she was just wearing underpants and t-shirt while cooking

[noahmijo]

19. yea I thought the same thing! did ya mean pork?

porn'n beans...a missed American pasttime. Put that one in the books Bill!

[noahmijo]

17. Obviously witchcraft going on in this household

Nothing's more suspicious than keilbasa and porn'n beans. Now if you said them beans was baked I wouldn't press the issue....

[Ferretherder]

20. DAMN!!! I was......I was only.........

...hoping no one would ask that question today.
























....I guess he's not that unattractive, though.

..uh,....ya know.

[Gold Metal Flake]

22. I was recruited...

...but I lost my membership card and could no longer get into the clubhouse or renew my free subscriptions to the magazines.

[leftofthedial]

23. it all started when they took my guns

and made my wife have an abortion

[Marrah_G]

30. No, and dammit I wanna know why not.

Was it something I said? I feel left out. Someone come kidnap me please, preferably to someplace secluded, quiet and not to hot.

That's all, thx.

[NMMNG]

35. We only go after the pure, wholesome fundies.

Everyone else is already too corrupted for our purposes. ;-):sarcasm:

[Marrah_G]

40. Well damn, that is just not fair.

I'm only a "little" corrupted!

[seemunkee]

31. Got hit by a drive by gay marriage

I thought it was just a May Kay rep slowing down to ask directions.

[Lars39]

33. lol

[kineneb]

32. no, not yet

Hubby might have something to say about that, but Henrietta (the pet chicken) would have the final say...

all humor aside, I don't worry about the "end of marriage"... everyone should be allowed legal civil unions and leave the marriage stuff to the religious folks... and I am willing to bet any "terr-ist" attacks will be false flag/black ops work...trust the dread CheneyBush, Hell no!

[RevolutionStartsNow]

34. I'm going to a Cowboy Junkies show tonight...

could happen...

[Robeson]

43. They put on a great show....

...hope you enjoyed it!...:thumbsup:

[gollygee]

36. There's still tomorrow!

Who knows what the future holds!

[razors edge]

37. No, but

I didn't sleep at a Holiday Inn Express.

[ezgoingrl]

38. No, but

I was turned into a newt.








Well...I got better!

[jazzjunkysue]

39. Not yet, but I'll let you know. I'm not going to bed for a couple more hours.

Will it help if I buy a toy gun tomorrow and sneer at a black person this weekend? Can I work up to it gradually?

[EFerrari]

41. You give me hope, jassjunkysue!

lol

[jazzjunkysue]

45. Domentionit. n/t.

[Toasterlad]

44. Ah, Conclusion Based on Non-Occurence. Where Would Fundamentalism Be Without It?

Lisa: "Dad, that's pretty spurious"

Homer: "Why, thank you, honey!"

Lisa: "By your logic, I could say this rock keeps tigers away."

Homer: "Really? How does it work?"

Lisa: "It doesn't work. It's just a stupid rock! But I don't see any tigers around, do you?"

Homer: "Hmm. Lisa, I would like to BUY your rock."

[tyedyeto]

46. No, but I was forced into living in sin

with a member of the opposite sex. No marriage papers for us is just like those same sex partners. There are many areas in which I can't speak for or attend to my partner, just like same sex partners.

[rucky]

47. Hey! How did THIS get in my mouth? n/t

[AZBlue]

48. Well, no, not today.

But it's Wednesday...duh!

[SaveAmerica]

49. No, but I've been forced to have 2 abortions today.

[rucky]

50. You had to be forced? I love aborting fetuses.

do it all the time.

[nolabels]

51. Our son's handle in the garage band he hangs with is abortioncutioner...........

His theory is of prevention, kill those little evil things before they are able get out and cause any crime to begin with :hide:


http://www.worst-jobs.com/historic_jobs/Royal-Executioner-horrible-jobs-bad-work.htm

[Nikki Stone1]

52. Dammit, no.

And I was so hoping for just that. :)

[Swamp Rat]

53. No, but there's always tomorrow.

:)