My Mom had a colonoscopy a few days ago . . .

[Chichiri]

. . . and she wasn't put under. They gave her an IV with an anti-anxiety drug and a pain drug, but she was wide awake and alert the whole time -- she even watched the procedure on a TV screen, said it was rather cool seeing the inside of her colon.

Bush, during his procedure tomorrow, is going to be put under for 2 1/2 hours.

MY MOM IS MORE OF A MAN THAN GEORGE BUSH!!!

[Whoa_Nelly]

1. And, without a doubt...

your mom is a better human being than the Chimperor ;)

[Chichiri]

6. Well, I may be a bit biased on that note . . .

. . . but yer damn right she is!!

[MonkeyFunk]

2. Bush won't be "put under"

either. He'll be mildly sedated, but that's enough to temporarily transfer power.

Plus, he'll have a hose up his ass, and won't be able to run to the situation room if need be.

[jobycom]

4. He won't be able to run and hide on Air Force One, more like it. nt

[woodsprite]

5. OK, so the only difference is that he'll have the hose,

opposed to Cheney's hand up his a$$. I thought he was ALWAYS mildly sedated, so that's no change -- except that this time he'll be using legal substances. That may be the new variable and they don't know how he'll react ;)

[Chichiri]

12. CNN says "Bush to go under . . ."

MSNBC says he'll be "under the effects of anasthesia," which my mom says she didn't receive at all -- just valium and pain medication.

It also makes reference to the fact that, in 2002, he "woke up" two minutes after the procedure.

Bush is going under.

[Whoa_Nelly]

28. Hmmm...good day for MIHOP a la Darth Vader?

...just sayin'... :shrug:

[Raven]

3. Bush is probably going to have the same meds as your Mom...

Versid (sp?) is one of them. They don't put you out but you wouldn't be able to make any decisions, drive a car or run a country...not that he's running the country now.

[greatauntoftriplets]

46. I could have made decisions when I had one....

though driving a car would have been a bit difficult.

As it was, I made the decision to complain lots about feeling everything.

[ramapo]

7. 2 1/2 hrs?

That's not a colonoscopy. I've had the pleasure a couple of times and it should take less time than that door-to-door.

Enjoy the knowledge that Bush will have a very unpleasant evening tonight.

[road2000]

11. Pre-Op

The prep is a hell of a lot worse than the procedure!

[indepat]

19. Amen and I'm on a 5-yr - rather than the usual 10-yr-schedule due to family history. Drats!

[tmlanders]

22. You're lucky -- I am on the 3 year plan because my uncle died from colon cancer

and my parents have both had polyps. And when I had my first one a couple of years ago they found a "teeny tiny" polyp in me. Hopefully they will find a better way to clean out the colon than the present method!
:hurts:

[indepat]

32. Five years is so much better than three when facing what must be one of life's most disagreeable

experiences for our own good. Good luck.

[Maru Kitteh]

37. tmlanders, take this for what you will but

as a person coming from a place of shared risk, please, PLEASE look into the benefits of reducing or eliminating your red meat consumption in particular.

Notice, I didn't say ALL meat, although that would be even better.

peace.

[NV Whino]

20. i hope the White House plumbing is up to it

[cassiepriam]

21. Yes 2 and a half hrs for a routine scope? Very odd.

[William769]

8. She's more of a man than me too!

Although I did have to go back and have surgery to have a tumor removed.

FYI, It depends on what they do with "colonoscopy" on weather or not you are given a local or general.

[SammyWinstonJack]

9. Tough guy, isn't he?

:evilgrin:

[rodeodance]

10. didn't Katie Curric talk through her's?--was it her's that was televised?

[SammyWinstonJack]

13. Yes she did.

[lies and propaganda]

14. wtf is about to happen??????

I am shitting my pants over this, I will admit it right now!

We all know who the Pres actually is, but this is just TOO much!!!!!

[Rue]

15. My dad's got bad ulcerated colitis and has

a colonoscopy every year. They usually put him under mild anesthesia, and he's as likely to stay awake as he is to go under. Can't Bush do that?

(Incidentally, when I told him about this, Dad said, "Good. I hope his colon ruptures." That's my dad, all right! :D)

[Strelnikov_]

16. Why sedate? Just stick a copy of 'My Pet Goat' under the fucksticks snout

and he'll be out of commission for at least a couple of hours.

[DemoTex]

25. Or a pretzel and a bottle of Jack Daniels.

[messiah2012]

17. Not to be insensitive to what your mom went through,

I don't know what is involved with this procedure. I know they snake a camera up your backside, but how far up does it go? I mean, are they going up into your small intestines?

[Maru Kitteh]

39. You know that little thingy that hangs in the back of your throat?

'bout that far.

I don't know why the damn hose has to be so big.

[messiah2012]

51. You are kidding, I hope.

[whistle]

18. Shrub* will not come out of this procedure intact, mark my word....

...In fact right now he is giving up the most precious thing that ALL REPUBLICANS VALUE MORE THAN ANYTHING....the turds they have spent their entire lives creating, accumulating and storing in their colons. Shrub* is drinking eight to twelve onces of mineral oil and flavored laxatives to cleanse his colon and will be inserting large suppositories to take care of the last of the residue. His feces will be examined by the White House staff, right wing religious leaders and the elders of the Yale Skull and Bones fraternity for signs of the second coming. What is found will be written down and hidden away in secrecy.

Then Shrub's* shit will be put back to where it came from after the procedure. It will not be a colonoscopy at all but rather the insertion of a sausage plunger!

[DemoTex]

23. My wife had a colonoscopy last fall with no drugs at all!

Two hours after the colonoscopy she was on an Ameican Airlines flight to Chicago. She told the gastroenterologist that she had too much work to do to get knocked out.

[Maru Kitteh]

40. Your wife is a REAL man then, and I say that with the best of intentions

Actually the whole idea that men endure pain better is utter bullshit, but I digress.

[KoKo]

42. Did she have the Full Colonoscopy or just the Rectal which old timey doctors substitute full for?

Did she do the 24 hour fasting with just jello and clear bullion and have to drink the gallon of Co-Lyte and check in and wait and then be wheeled up where she was scoped?

Years ago I was given just the "rectal colonoscopy" even though I had strong family history of Colon Cancer.

Turns out that in my 40's I had pain in my side that took three doctors before someone suggested I have a Full Colonoscopy and I was diagnosed after it and a CAT Scan with B-2 (Duke Spectrum) Colon Cancer..

[DemoTex]

48. She had the Full Monte (aka Royal Flush)

Delicious fasting, yummy CoLyte, and ever-so-fun Dulcolax.

[KoKo]

49. She didn't remember to tell you she had that IV...that gives you

"short time lapse" so that you don't remember the scope, then. When they wheel you in...you don't always remember that they put you to sleep for short time. Did they insert an IV in her hand?

:shrug:

BTW...I've had it both ways but usually the "accepted way" to get into the crevices of the colon...the Gastro Dr's prefer you sedated because it's painful when they "baloon your colon" with the air puffs. Sort of like inflating a tire in your colon.

[theHandpuppet]

But they HAVE to put Georgie under...

... 'cause they're afraid how the Bushinator would react when he finds his head really IS up his ass.

[havocmom]

35. Guessing the doctor involved will want drugs too

:rofl:

[Peregrine Took]

24. At the University of Chicago they give you "twilight sleep" which is like a

mild sedative. They ask you how strong you want it - a lot or a little. "A lot!! please!"

[Bitwit1234]

26. I posted before....

I have had four...never put to sleep and in one they removed polpys....so you are right as usual bush is a coward and a bunch of chickenshit. But we all know that.

[Evoman]

27. Most of whats good in George Bush

came out with the enema.

God bless your mom's iron colon. My mom went through the same thing, awake. They even took polyps.

[BeyondThePale]

29. Yes, but did Dick Cheney take over your household during the procedure?!?

Seriously, hope she is well

[bluedeminredstate]

30. The drugs they usually use for this procedure

don't necessarily put you completely under, but Versed (which is also combined with a pain med) is an amnesiac which makes you pretty much unable to recall much if anything of the procedure. Some people do recall it, but it does make you very loopy in any case. I apparently talked all the way through mine, but I have no recollection of anything once the IV started.
Anyone who was on an IV of Versed with a chaser of Fentanyl would be in no shape to make any rational decisions, let alone have their finger on the "button," but then again Cheney is not in any shape to have that responsiblility either!

The procedure is a breeze, but the prep that the Chimperor is going through today has him on his throne around the clock. Typically, there's not much getting done on his watch today in the way of the people's business. Just lot's of his business. Of course, I wouldn't wish cramps and lots of undie changes on him or anything mean like that...

:hurts:

[damntexdem]

31. I've had them both ways.

And I much prefer being out.

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

33. I had one earlier this year

No drugs, just LOTS of lube. No real pain except for some discomfort when they pumped the air in. Now I know how a balloon feels...

:shrug:

I also watched the "action" on TV. All I can say is that was one HELL of a closeup...

[DawgHouse]

34. I have several and for a sigmoidoscopy

they didn't put me out and I could watch it. But with the colonoscopies I've always been given Versed, not really "out" but in an altered state temporarily.

[Cha]

36. Nothing against your Mom

but anyone is more brave than g wanker bush. Your Mom does sound very ABLE!

[onecent]

38. Maybe it's NOT really a colonoscopy...???? 2 1/2 hours???

[KoKo]

43. Yep...Colonoscopies for over 2 hours would be very strange..especially since he's had them before

to remove the polyps. :shrug:

[KAZ]

41. They'll "twilight" you for a lower intestinal colonoscopy.

If they travel the full 5 feet, they'll knock you out. Need symptoms for that.

[MasonJar]

44. Mine took 5 minutes and I was drowsy but basically awake.

[greatauntoftriplets]

45. So am I....

I was awake through the whole damn thing and kept telling them that I felt every damn thing. My sister slept through hers. Apparently I needed better drugs.

:mad:

[MiniMe]

47. Well, we can all take some pleasure in the fact that * is doing the "cleanse" now

We all know where he is, on the can. :rofl:

[tammywammy]

50. My dad was knocked out completely for both of his

I was there when he woke up from it. Some people do different things. :shrug: And I can see with waking up why it would take 2 1/2 hours. My dad was slow to wake up and come to his senses.