Both of my parents died of cancer

[RestoreGore]

Both of my parents who were exceptional human beings to me were lost to me to cancer. My mother, a brave, wonderful, loving woman, died of cancer after having had a mastectomy and then seeing the cancer travel to her adrenal glands and then to her bones, suffering a long, painful, and debilitating agony brought on by that lying, cheating, disgusting, evil disease. Yet, she remained ever a woman with a full heart and a loving embrace on all of life who taught me so much. It is still hard sometimes for me to talk about her death even though it has now been thirty one years since I lost her physically. I say I lost her physically because I do believe her soul remains in the form of my son, whose eyes are hers and whose loving manner reminds me of her presence everyday of my life.

My father, a brilliant, well read man with a temper but also with a heart of gold who was my dance partner and my teacher, was lost to me one and a half years after my marriage over twenty two years ago. He too suffered a long debilitating bout with lung cancer, and I saw both him and my mother waste away before my eyes both in their fifties because they both starting smoking when it was considered the thing to do, and couldn't stop once it was known how deadly it was. And I can tell you this from experience that NO ONE should have to watch their loved ones die in this manner.

NO ONE.

You might at this point be wondering why I am writing this. Well, after reading a couple of threads about Tammy Faye Baker's death, it reminded me of the pain and suffering my own parents went through, and I truly do cry tears for anyone in this world today who loved Tammy Faye Baker because I know what it is like to see someone you love with all of your heart and soul be eaten alive by a disease you have absolutely no control over.

And I do not feel any ill will for anyone who has cancer regardless of who they are, as it is an insidious disease that destroys all it touches. IT is the enemy, and those it touches don't deserve it. My parents certainly didn't deserve it, and neither did Tammy Faye Baker.

That is all I can say on this.

[MonkeyFunk]

1. Sorry about your parents, RG...

I agree with you - no one deserves it.

Sadly, there's a contingent here on DU who measure their political acumen by how well and how long they can hate.

[seemslikeadream]

2. I also watched both my parents die of cancer

[RestoreGore]

10. I am so sorry

[RestoreGore]

15. Yes, but some things go beyond politics

Or at least, they should.

[roguevalley]

33. I agree with you, honey. Today is the first anniversary of my Dad's

death. A few days ago I read about a treatment for his cancer, non-hodgkins lymphoma, that puts into into remission from the first treatment and some of them have lasted seven years. in fact, they don't know if there is an end date on the protection. all of my dad's suffering I wouldn't wish on anyone, anywhere. also, if you can't believe that tammy tried to redeem herself, then no one can hope for redemption.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

3. I agree

it is a painful and debilitating disease, one that I would hope no one have to suffer. If anyone rejoices in Tammy Faye's death, they could perhaps be said to have a spiritual cancer eating at them. It is called hatred, and it destroys just as surely as cancer destroys.

[DemBones DemBones]

27. The spiritual cancer of hatred truly does destroy us,

not those we hate. It's not easy to avoid anger but we should try to remember that the people we're angry at are not thinking about us. Therefore, we should not waste time or energy being angry with them.

[thegreatcause2]

4. my dad died in my arms from bone cancer

cancer is horrible and inhumane. your post speaks for itself.

[RestoreGore]

11. My sympathies to you

And you are so right. It is horrible and inhumane.

[rosesaylavee]

5. I agree.

:hug:

To belittle grieving people is horrible. To deride the dead is deplorable.

[madrchsod]

6. i just try to ignore children

and hope someday they may grow up

[K8-EEE]

30. Hey, that's exactly right.

The few DUers who dissed Tammy Faye sounded quite immature -- these are people who feel immortal and don't know what it's like to hold someone's hand when they are wasting away from a disease like this.

Unfortunately it's unusual to NOT know somebody going through this, except for the very young.

Once you experience it, if you have even the tiniest, grinchiest heart, you would not wish it on anyone AND I MEAN ANYONE.

Yes I wish justice (trial, conviction, sentencing, imprisonment) on people who deserve it.

No I do not wish cancer, AIDS, MS, etc. etc. on ANYBODY. I wish all who are afflicted could be cured of it.

[DemBones DemBones]

7. Thanks for posting this. My mother died of lung cancer July 21, 1985.

People don't get cancer because they "deserve it." They get it because of genetic predisposition and environmental factors. Smoking is one of those environmental factors and my mother smoked for 27 years, quit 15 years before she died. Air pollution is another environmental factor, and of course that includes second hand smoke.

Lung cancer is a lousy way to go. My mother coughed and coughed and coughed night and day, couldn't lie down for at least the last six months of her life. And of course she wasted away like your parents did.
She had a lot of pain, too, partly because she was reluctant to take pain meds, thinking that if she did, they might not work later, when she really needed them.

Nobody gets out of here alive but there are things you can do to lessen your chances of various diseases, like not smoking. Tammy Faye's cancer began as colon cancer so having colonoscopies is important. If you don't know how to prevent cancer, the American Cancer Society website and other sites srely have plenty of information to help you.

[RestoreGore]

13. So sorry

And again, so many started when it was considered cool, and by the time the warnings came it was to late already. I have never smoked and never will and have taught my son to stay away from it as well. Unfortunatly as you stated it is hard to stay away from all of the things that can harm us, but being prepared and educated is a good start to giving us a heads up these days.

[DemBones DemBones]

28. Thank you, and of course I am sorry for your losses as well.

You always know your parents are going to die, and probably before you do, but it's still sad when they do.

[durrrty libby]

8. It is sad to lose one's parents, and watching them waste away is

heartbreaking. I have been there and feel your pain


I imagine every adult knows someone who has died of cancer, which makes it all the more mystifying as to why so many lack empathy.

As an R.N. I have cared for many people at the end of their life, and

It is shameful how many die alone, with no family present. There is no excuse for that behavior.

[TahitiNut]

9. I'm reminded of the post that was most emblematic of the DU attitudes toward DU smokers ...

I've never before seen any post by a long-time member of this community (and admirer of Tammy-Faye?) that so succinctly symbolizes the tone and tenor of respectful discussion and interchange that makes DU so attractive. I think it's wonderful that we're all doing our part.

Forum Name General Discussion
Topic subject Shut up, crybaby
Topic URL http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x5325562#5333519
5333519, Shut up, crybaby
Posted by ******** on Fri Nov-11-05 01:33 PM

Go cough up blood and die.

We can ALL be proud!

(It takes something special to hurl such missiles while ensconced in one's own crystalline abode.)

[lastliberalintexas]

40. But it's canceeerrrr, doncha know?

Heaven forbid that GW bush, Dick Cheney or any of the PNAC neocons ends up with a dreadful disease of some sort- the DU nannies would try to stop anyone from daring to speak ill of them. :eyes:


For the record, I am neither happy nor grieved by Messner's death. I did not know the lady, and thus her death has no impact on me. I feel for her family and friends, just as I felt for her and her husband's victims in the 1980s.

Also for the record, my mother has battled cancer as well. It's a horrible disease and the treatment is dreadful. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but that's the thing- I didn't have anything to do with Messner contracting cancer. Thus, I'm not sure why her cause of death should prevent me or anyone from speaking honestly of her life.

Unfortunately it sounds as though many here are just as afraid, mystified and bedazzled by the idea of death as the fundies. We all die, we all turn back to dust. It's as natural and inevitable as puberty, and unfortunately sometimes as painful. But why that phase of the life cycle should turn a person into an untouchable is beyond me.

[undeterred]

12. My dog was cured of cancer by an experimental treatment in 2000

He is still here (almost 15 now) and the treatment is used to cure kidney cell cancer in humans and raise T cell levels in AIDS patients. There is hope in Cancer Research.

[RestoreGore]

14. That's great

But do you really think a cure will ever be allowed to come to market? I keep thinking they know of one already, but TPTB are holding it back.

[TZ]

16. Do you know how many types of cancer treatments

are being researched now? From experiemtal monoclonal antibodies to new drugs to even VACCINES to treat things like brain cancer.
There are so many different forms of cancer, there is unlikely to be one big cure. But there a lot of promising treatments being worked on right now, even by HORRORS pharmaceuticals and biotech. Novel research pathways. This suppression of a cure nonsense is just that NONSENSE. And I am in biotech working on potential cancer treatments so I see it everyday.

[RestoreGore]

19. So how does one go about finding out about all that is out there?

You may work in that field so you do see it everyday, but to lay people like myself out here, we don't.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

26. There are many alternative cancer treatments.

Some are available here, and some are available in other countries.

I do not know if they work, personally. I'm just saying investigate.
IV O2 therapy, bariatric O2 therapy, Essiac tea, cancer drawing salves, IV sodium ascorbate (vit. C) in large doses.

[undeterred]

24. I took him to University of Wisconsin

where there was a unique collaboration going on between the vet school and medical school. I had worked in the oncology dept at University of Chicago and been a lab tech and I was shocked when I realized the vets knew oncologists where I worked and were familiar with all the research. My dogs tumor was treated with Canine IL-2 and it was funded by a drug company. I'd never heard of pets actually benefitting from research but, what a great idea- and unlike a human study they could modify the protocol to help the dog. At first they wanted to amputate and I said NO WAY because he is arthritic anyway- and it worked. Its a thrill to see cancer cured.

When I was a tech I had worked in a lab involved with steroid hormone receptors so I knew more about the reproductive cancers; I kept a freezer full of monoclonal abs to estrogen receptor.

I just got a new job at a research facility- I'm a computer tech now, but I appreciate what goes into it and it was cool that my dog actually got to benefit directly from a study like that. And cooler still to think that humans are being helped in the same way.

[MonkeyFunk]

18. Oh I do

many cures and treatments have come to market.

I've known people working in cancer research - dedicated, honorable, good people who are devoting their lives to ending this disease. I know they'd never "keep it quiet" if they found a cure.

[RestoreGore]

20. I'm not talking about the scientists here

I'm talking about governments.

[MonkeyFunk]

25. The people who discover the cure

wouldn't keep it secret.

Why would these companies being investing so much money in searching for cures if they don't ever plan to bring them to market?

[Blue-Jay]

39. "Companies" have no interest in finding a cure, my friend.

There's more money in temporary treatments (a quick fix, basically).

[DawgHouse]

17. I am sorry about your parents.

On Larry King, Tammy Faye said she wasn't afraid of dying but that she was concerned for those who love her, because she knew how they would suffer and miss her. Your post is a good example of the emptiness and loss that families feel.

Thank you for posting.

[RestoreGore]

22. Thank you

[dorkulon]

21. My dad died of Parkinson's, but

if Pat Robertson gets Parkinson's I'll giggle like a schoolgirl. Not to diminish your suffering; just saying people die all the time and some aren't worth grieving over. As for Tammy Faye, I have no particular strong feelings.

[TalkingDog]

32. I tend to agree. I'm not going to openly rejoice at anyones suffering....but

I'm also not going to give them a pass unless I can see some speck of self-awareness and self-recrimination for past mis-deeds.

Many, many impoverished senior citizens gave their last bit of food money to the PTL ministries. And while the Baker's lived in high style preaching, essentially, that wealth was a visible sign of God's favor, the trusting flock could barely afford bread and knew themselves, based on the Baker's philosophy, to be unworthy in God's sight. My grandmother was one of them.

And while Tammy Faye did many good things, she also never passed up an opportunity to be in the limelight. I have known many true Christians and many, many of them do good works without thought of recognition. Because it truly is about the work and not about the man.

There is a distinct difference in hateful glee and an honest assessment of a person's character.

And yes, my parents both died of cancer. I saw my father's last breath and my sister and I nursed my mother at home, without help, where she spent her last days starving, wasted, incontinent and gasping. Given that experience, I would never rejoice at anyone's suffering.

[lastliberalintexas]

41. Very well said

I wish those like the OP could better understand this idea:

"There is a distinct difference in hateful glee and an honest assessment of a person's character."

[Madspirit]

23. k&r...My Mom Died Of Lung Cancer...n/t

[RestoreGore]

38. So sorry. n/t

[CoffeeCat]

29. That was a beautiful tribute to your parents...

I'm so sorry about both of your parents.

I hope you have found peace and that your heart is filled with lasting
memories of both of them. It sounds like they both affected you in very
profound and special ways.

I am a mother to two young girls. I only hope that I can be as good of a mother
as your mother was. The way you talk about your mother is so special and so
heartfelt. To have a kind, insightful mother like yours---who taught you so
much--is such a gift.

Thank you for sharing your family with us.

[RestoreGore]

37. You're welcome

I'm sure you're a great mother. And yes it is a gift.

[we can do it]

31. I Too Am Sorry - I Lost My Dear Mom To Cancer - She Is With Me Every Day

Finally I see her in my mind as she was before she got sick. I think it took over two years to reach this point. I do feel her presence with me occasionally and I am always thankful when I do.

[RestoreGore]

35. Same here

It took a while to get the image of her being taken out on a stretcher out of my mind. Now I can see her as the vibrant beautiful woman she always was. I am sure your mom was beautiful too and that is how we will always remember them.

[applegrove]

34. What a beautiful tribute to your parents. I'm going to quit the weed

today I think. Your story will help.

[RestoreGore]

36. It won't be easy

But you can do it. I wish you luck.

[lastliberalintexas]

42. Good luck

My mom still battles her tobacco demons, it's been a long and tough journey for her. I sincerely hope you are successful! :)