I am a FAT woman who adopted five children. You gotta problem with that? Post here and tell me why.

[Beausoir]

Put your money where your mouth is and tell me why I am an unfit parent.

Let's hear it.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

1. I certainly don't.

Good on you for sharing you love like that.

As for our resident scolds, ignore them.

[Beausoir]

3. I will not ignore their hate and bigotry. But, thanks for your kind words.

[aquart]

2. What brought this on?

How are the kids?

[Bluebear]

this disgraceful post brought it on:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=1475280&mesg_id=1475805

[Blashyrkh]

61. Frankly, as sublte as he wasn't....

I'd hardly describe that as disgraceful. It's not like he said "fat person = bad parent".

But I can understand why people are quick to not read and make some soapbox post about how they're not going to tolerate all the hate on DU and will personally crusade to badger and harass anyone who disagress with them into submission.

[Name removed]

77. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Blashyrkh]

95. About as classy as the OP

Let me get weight out of the occasion. Would you let a stroke victim adopt a child? What about a quadraplegic?

I'm not saying that "fat person = bad parent". As futile as I feel this is I want to make that clear. However, in the interest of the child, it should be established that the prospective parent can provide a minimum level of care to that child. If you can't provide that minimum level of care, for whatever reason, then you shouldn't be caring for a child.

I don't understand how that is unreasonable. Parenting should be a privelege, not a right.

[pnwmom]

121. The mother wanted her cousin to adopt this baby.

How would you feel if you arranged for a relative to adopt your baby, and some judge said no because the relative might develop health problems in the future?

Being fat isn't equivalent to being a stroke victim or a quadraplegic. (And there are hugely varying degrees of damage caused by strokes, for that matter.)

When all parents are required to be perfect, we might as well stop bringing children into the world.

[Seabiscuit]

181. Birth mothers have never had the exclusive right to determine the adoptive parents.

Any proposed adoption must first be approved by a judge who is required by the legislature to examine and evaluate the facts according to specific criteria.

Birth mothers merely choose the proposed adoptive parents. A judge makes the final determination as to whether to grant a legal adoption order.

That shouldn't be so difficult to understand.

[Bluebear]

129. And as classy as you calling me a poor reader and on a soapbox.

Whatever as they say, we won't be running into each other here again.

[blondeatlast]

141. Jeebus. this stroke victim (I'm in my 40s, btw) is raising my

own 10 year old.

Just what makes you so perfect as to judge mine or Beausoir or Bluebear or anyone;s fitness to be a parent?

[Blashyrkh]

166. I'm not judging anyone here personally

I simply said that a parent MUST be able to provide a minimum level of care to their child. If the parent cannot provide that level of care, then how is it in the childs best interest to stay?

I don't think that's unreasonable at all. Nor is it directed personally towards anyone on this website.

But whatever. Just follow this growing trend of being indignant and offended rather discussing an issue impersonally.

[WindRavenX]

82. holy SHIT

That's....just vile :wow:

[proud2BlibKansan]

102. That post has been deleted

[AndyTiedye]

110. What Post? The Mods Deleted It

[Beausoir]

9. A news topic about about a fat man who wants to adopt his nephew. Some Du'ers think he is unfit

because he is fat.

And...my kids are doing well. Some have special medical needs and some don't.

All are wonderful.

[aquart]

47. When you want to belong somewhere more than anything, and then you do...

The wonder of it can shine out thru you.

[Seabiscuit]

179. That guy wasn't "fat". He's a 500 pounder who is suffering from an extreme

case of a debilitating medical condition known as morbid obesity.

Some very thin person could say I look "fat". Subjectively, that could be true, because when you come down to it, "fat" is a subjective term in the eyes of the beholder. But at 175 pounds, I'm certainly in no way morbidly obese, which is a medical term based on scientifically objective criteria.

That is the essential distinction that's gotten completely lost in both that thread and in this one, by those who want to imagine there's some conspiracy afoot to insult, demean and discriminate against "fat" people.

[Highway61]

151. Right?

Did I miss something?

[mrreowwr_kittty]

4. I commend you and I only wonder why more "pro-lifers" haven't followed suit

As someone who was adopted by 2 fat people, you'll get no quarrel from me. :hi:

Fill me in though, what's this about?

[PA Democrat]

15. There was a thread earlier today about a judge who wouldn't let

a man adopt his nephew because of the man's weight.

Sad, I didn't know that love came in only one size, sexual orientation or skin color.

[WillYourVoteBCounted]

34. was he bedridden?

was he one of those people who can't even take care of themselves?

Then the child would have to be his caregiver?

I think we need to know the entire story, eh?

[Bluebear]

46. Well here is rthe story and he is not bedridden... just "might develop diabetes"

http://www.thekansascitychannel.com/news/13763346/detail.html

[pnwmom]

122. No, he's not bedridden. He's a licensed foster parent and an adoptive parent

of a 5 year old.

And the mother, his cousin, wanted him to adopt her baby too.

If he's not a proper parent, why is he a licensed foster parent?

[depakid]

140. Well, let's look at things reasonably

500 pounds isn't just overweight and my bet is that if we read the file, there'd be other things that factored into the decision.

[muntrv]

5. The problem: You should adopt more children and enrich more lives.

[Beausoir]

14. Gads! 5 is all we can handle! Adoption is the most wonderful blessing.

[MuseRider]

6. ?

OK, I missed something but I did want to say that anyone who adopts 5 children does not deserve to be bashed for any reason. They are lucky kids and thanks, I hate to think of children without homes and families. You did a wonderful thing for you and for them.

[NoodleBoy]

7. Yeah, with you being so selfish, how am I going to adopt some day?

Really, where's your sense of community or decency in that?

If Brad and Angelina can't adopt another kid because of selfish people like you some day, I'm going to berate you some more.

[billyoc]

8. I must have missed a meeting.

Why would anyone say that? :shrug:

[benddem]

10. Hey who called you unfit?

I admire someone who would something this selfless...who cares if you are fat? I don't think the kids mind.

[cynatnite]

11. I would adopt if I could...my hat's off to you

Hope you and your kids are doing good. School starts Aug 6th here. Way too early.

:hug:

[Bluebear]

12. You are a BEAUTIFUL woman with a heart full of love, end of story. nt

[mnhtnbb]

13. I'll bite. You owe those kids a healthy mother. Overweight is tied to all

sorts of medical problems that may shorten your lifespan.

[Name removed]

17. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Name removed]

25. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Name removed]

43. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[WillYourVoteBCounted]

29. I think

that its not hate or bigotry.

I bet no one thinks anything but good of you for adopting children.

Maybe they know that you may end up being all those children have,
and that if anything happens to you, they are on their own again.

Imagine them becoming a family and then breaking up.

I have a friend who had to get gastric bypass, I think for various
health reasons.

So if you are morbidly obese, then in other words, if you are so fat
that you might die while young, then the children will have to go
through lots more heartbreak.

But thats not the same as being bigoted or saying that you shouldn't adopt.

Adopt, and probably you will want to do what you can to live long enough
to see the kids through college.

I know having a child changed me.

[Maat]

79. Chris and Dana Reeve had their child, Will, when they were relatively young ..

and both of them died young. You never know what will happen.

No matter what happens, my daughter will always have my family (even if her dad and are struck by lightening - together), and she will inherit quite a nice nestegg also.

I had a health scare, unrelated to my weight, and thought about things. Without even mentioning it, my daughter instinctively hugged me, and told me how grateful she was that I had come into her life - and that we would be together forever, one way or another. I've got a great kid!

[book_worm]

28. I would bet that many parents have some kind of health problem which might shorten their lives

besides being fat. Not only over-weight people have high blood pressure, Not only over-weight people contract cancer, have heart attacks, suffer from diabetes, or have many illnesses which could lead to death. Not only over-weight people are alcoholics or drug abusers, or die in automobile accidents. The point is that the children need love and it doesn't matter if you're fat, thin, black, white, red or yellow if you love a child that much to want to give it a home, I think you'll be a good parent.

[Katherine Brengle]

41. So are a lot of other things --

my mother smokes, my grandfather was an alcoholic, my husband and I ate pizza and cake for dinner tonight because we just wanted to.

Overweight is not the sole cause of all ill health, and many people who are considered overweight are perfectly healthy (myself for instance, though not obese, I fall into the overweight category for my height and my health has been consistently perfect for as long as I've been alive).

[LittleClarkie]

66. Are children denied to smokers?

To people who use cellphones in their cars?

I smell inequality.

[beam me up scottie]

69. How fucking sanctimonious can one get?

Healthy people develop life threatening diseases too, you know.

Should they take kids away from people who have a history of cancer in their family?

[alarimer]

107. She could also get hit by a car and even skinny people get sick and die.

So fucking what.

[pnwmom]

124. So is being underweight, actually. And smoking cigarettes, and

drinking too much and many other "lifestyle choices."

Do we prevent adoptions by men who like to go mountain climbing? Or left handers? They have shorter life spans, too.

By your reasoning, judges should never let grandparents adopt kids if their children die. After all, those grandparents might not live long.

I think that in judging fitness as an adoptive parent, we should be looking at the totality of circumstances, not a single element. The mother of the baby was in a better position than the judge to know how good a parent her cousin was. Also, the state has licensed him as a long-term foster parent. It's ridiculous to turn around and say he can't adopt his own cousin's child.

[Hekate]

130. My mom was an overweight smoker who raised 4 healthy kids & died at 82....

Two of my brother's closest friends married each other, had two children, and before they were out of their thirties the wife had lymphoma and the husband had Parkinson's. What a horrible fate! Yet they are both still alive (although sick) and have raised those kids, which is more than Christopher and Dana Reeves were able to do. Which is more than Elizabeth Edwards is likely to be able to do.

My mom was obese for a lot of years, most of them after the oldest (me) left home, and the only problem I ever had with it was the amount of self-loathing she generated over her weight and her smoking addiction. That was really hard to take.

My mom raised four bright healthy slender active children under trying circumstances and without much money. She demonstrated her love for us in many ways. She served healthy well-planned meals on a shoestring budget. She read to us and we all became voracious readers on our own. Our home was filled with library books, inexpensive prints of great art, and classical music from the radio. We all worked our way through college and became gainfully employed.

What the HELL does a loving parent's weight have to do with their ability to raise children? Anyone can fall ill or die at any time.

Hekate

[NorthernSpy]

149. there are heightened disease potentials for EVERY weight category...

Believe it or not, type-2 diabetes is not the only disease in the world.

The reality is that no matter what your weight is, it's associated with a statistically higher risk for something.

For instance, thin and "healthy-weight" women are at sharply higher risk for premenopausal breast cancer. Shall we badger them to gain weight?

[baby_mouse]

168. Congratulations.

You have just told someone that they are too fat to bring up their kids. Feeling good? Nice big bite taken?

What a worthless, stupid thing to post.

[seabeyond]

191. what qualifies overweight? ten pounds from SOMEONES ideal?

so.... anyone with any kind of illness like diabetes and other should not be allowed to have children. further, anyone where we deem iq lower than optimum should not be allowed raising children cause children may not get as good as we say.

that is a ridiculous argument on your part. there are massive situations we would need to decide an adult should not have children. simply absurd

[Buzz Clik]

16. Errr... which part?

FAT? Some of my best friends are fat.

Adopted? Well, over half my siblings were adopted (3)

Five children? Gotcha beat.

[Beausoir]

19. Keep reading. Some DUers don't think fat people make good parents.

[Buzz Clik]

30. My stepmom was obese. She was a wonderful mom.

She had two of her own, and three stepkids. Wonderful mom for all.

Her weight wasn't a factor in her mothering.

[Maraya1969]

106. I'm very sorry that some DU'ers have been insensitive and judgmental

to you. I really think that some people are that way because they really don't like themselves and putting other people down gives them a temporary sense of superiority.


Personally I applaud you for adopting those kids And I am sure you are a loving mother to them.

:hug:

[Maat]

96. Hee - I'm the overweight, adoptive mom of ONE .. and I really respect YOU.

I really respect parents and families that can handle several. Beloved Princess gives us so many orders, I'm pretty busy! Oh, wait, maybe I should think about that "saying 'no'" thing. Oh, well, too late (just kiddin' - although she is a bit pampered)!

:)

[Buzz Clik]

99. The biggest change in one's life is from no kids to one.

The next one is always easier than the one before.

And, spoil her rotten! They grow up too quickly.

[Maat]

101. You are SO right ..

where have the years gone? She's going to be eleven this October!!!

[book_worm]

18. There is a small faction on DU who enjoy ripping on over weight people

of course most of this country is overweight/fat. I noticed in that thread about that man who wanted to adopt his nephew but a Judge said "No" because he was "too fat", that about 17% voted that they agreed with that decision but (as of the last time I looked) only one person was brave enough to back up his idiotic position with a response.

[mrreowwr_kittty]

Isn't it amazing how fat-phobia persists, despite the rising weights of Americans?

It's almost surreal, and terribly disturbing. A nation of shallow, self-hating people.

[WillYourVoteBCounted]

20. as long as you love them

and hopefully you are fat because you are a good cook.

Kids need a good home cooked meal.

Kids need love.

[beam me up scottie]

21. You are a better human being than I.

And your five children are very lucky.

[Skittles]

22. who is saying you aren't, Beausoir?

I WILL KICK THEIR ASS

[Bluebear]

23. See and kick: :)

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=1475280&mesg_id=1475805

[Beausoir]

26. Read upthread, Skittles. And I just KNOW you will kick some ass.

There are some here at DU who don't think fat people should adopt.

[Skittles]

33. aw that's just asinine

very strange when people start thinking thin automatically equals healthy

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

Uhoh.

Skittles go' kick some azz. If I were the malefactors, I would be heading for the root cellar right about now. ;-)

On edit: Used to be, the phrase "Skittles will kick your ass" was one that made grown men weep, women faint and yaks go dry, around here. As it should. ;-)

[Missy Vixen]

86. YESSSSS

Skittles is ON THE JOB! The ass-kickings are HERE!

Julie

[Redstone]

24. Are you LOOKING for a problem? Seems to me that you are.

That's a pretty hostile post, right there.

Redstone

[cynatnite]

27. She feels hostile and I don't blame her n/t

[Redstone]

51. For the third time, not ALL of us are aware of EVERY news item during a given day!

A link in the OP would have been VERY helpful, and this exchange would never have happened.

Redstone

[cynatnite]

Okay, Red. I understand. Sorry 'bout that. n/t

[Redstone]

65. Thank you.

Redstone

[cynatnite]

56. n/t

[Beausoir]

35. A judge said a fat man should not adopt and some Du'ers agreed.

And...no, I don't go looking for problems...unless my neighbor is mowing his lawn while I am trying to relax on my porch.

[Redstone]

44. Aha. Maybe you should have linked to some background in your post, so people

have an idea of what you're talking about.

Just a friendly suggestion.

Redstone

[Skittles]

40. can't really blame her, Redstone

she's an overweight person who has adopted five kids, yet has to read the opinions of people who think fat folk should not be allowed to adopt - that's a sure-fire recipe for outrage don't you think?

[Redstone]

Well, then she should have linked to those opinions. Some of don't know EVERTYTHING that's

going on during any specific day.

Redstone

[Skittles]

58. true, true

I had to ask (and did receive) a link to said ignorance

[Redstone]

72. It's NOT FUCKING FAIR to sandbag other DUers (This is directed to the OP) and then give

them a bunch of shit, when your original post is about something that, to all appearances, is a rant out the clear blue sky, and ASSUME that those other DUers know that you're reacting to something specific.

Redstone

[Beausoir]

57. Boy..you got that right. Outrage is a good word.

I've been here for a long time.

But this bigotry is going to get me banned.

[Skittles]

103. naw, be cool Beausoir

your point of view is legitimate; as long as you don'g get unreasonably abusive you'll be OK - I commend you for fighting ignorance - to me, silence = agreement

[Katherine Brengle]

31. K&R

I don't know what caused this OP, but is does not surprise me - the environment here can be very violent for a lot of perceived untouchables.

Kudos to you for your selfless approach to life.

[zabet]

32. Those are 5 of the luckiest kids in the US. n/t

[cliss]

36. Well let's turn the question around

and ask you, "Do you feel it is an issue?" I'm referring to being overweight. How overweight are you? If you are just 15 or 20 lbs. over, no big deal. But if you are 100 + lbs. over, you'll need to think about some things.

1. How are you holding up, energy-wise? Are these kids wearing you out? Kids are incredibly draining, in many ways. They physically exhaust you when they're younger. Then when they become teenagers, they exhaust you from emotional issues.

2. What are you feeding these kids? Decent food, or greasy stuff that's going to make them overweight as well?

[Beausoir]

48. And..that is your business...how? My weight is NONE of your buisness. Jesus.

[book_worm]

54. Obviously somebody who has been able to adopt five kids (not an easy thing to do)

and is thoroughly checked out regarding their fitness doesn't need any lectures from anybody or superior questioning.

[Bluebear]

64. 'Decent food, or greasy stuff that's going to make them overweight as well?'

Don't get me started. Not only "greasy food" makes kids overweight. Good food is expensive food, and it is getting harder for the working man and woman to put decent food on the table.

Simple carbohydrates are filling and cheap.

Also, there are myriad body chemistry factors that have nothing to do with 'greasy food' that can make it very difficult to take off weight but that is a another subject.

[book_worm]

75. One of the problems with this supposed progressive website is that some people

in their responses show a lack of understanding of the working poor in this country. Now I don't know if the OP is poor or not, but I sure as hell admire her. But there are many poor people in this country who can't afford to buy "the best foods" and have to make due with Mac and Cheese and Hamburger Helper. Yet they are doing the best they can.

[Bluebear]

81. Thank you.

I blame youth or inexperience, but some people are just totally unaware of the difficulties some people face just making ends meet, let alone affording 'good food'.

[AnotherGreenWorld]

195. Children of morbidly obese parents

are statistically likely to become morbidily obese themselves.

It's a legitimate concern.

I grew up very poor, and obesity was never a problem for me, my sister, or my mom. It's interesting that when you don't eat food--or very little of it--you do not become obese. Of course, the solution to obesity is not another extreme, namely not eating. But if I were a morbidily obese parent, concerned both about my own health and my children's health, as they are likely to have needless health problems throught their lives, I would buy all of the food I usually eat in a week and go to one of the poorer neighborhoods in my area, an area where people are genuinely poor and not middle-class people upset that they can't buy a plasma TV. I would ask what they usually eat in a week, donate my own food to a local charity, and go on a poor person's diet.

Soon I would realize that I really didn't need to eat so much food after all. What's more, with all that food I could be doing something good for the world, instead of the opposite.

And obesity isn't a problem in Africa. There's a reason for it. Obesity is something you can control. And it's a problem you made for yourself and will likely pass on to your children.

[NorthernSpy]

150. weightwise, those kids will strongly resemble their families of origin...

...regardless of what Beausoir feeds them. From The New England Journal of Medicine:

An adoption study of human obesity
AJ Stunkard, TI Sorensen, C Hanis, TW Teasdale, R Chakraborty, WJ Schull, and F Schulsinger

Abstract

We examined the contributions of genetic factors and the family environment to human fatness in a sample of 540 adult Danish adoptees who were selected from a population of 3580 and divided into four weight classes: thin, median weight, overweight, and obese. There was a strong relation between the weight class of the adoptees and the body-mass index of their biologic parents - for the mothers, P less than 0.0001; for the fathers, P less than 0.02. There was no relation between the weight class of the adoptees and the body-mass index of their adoptive parents. Cumulative distributions of the body-mass index of parents showed similar results; there was a strong relation between the body-mass index of biologic parents and adoptee weight class and no relation between the index of adoptive parents and adoptee weight class. Furthermore, the relation between biologic parents and adoptees was not confined to the obesity weight class, but was present across the whole range of body fatness - from very thin to very fat. We conclude that genetic influences have an important role in determining human fatness in adults, whereas the family environment alone has no apparent effect.

http://content.nejm.org/cgi/content/abstract/314/4/193

[in_cog_ni_to]

37. Nope. I applaude you for giving 5 children a home. n/t

[Catherine Vincent]

38. What a wonderful person you are!

I knew there was something I liked about you! ;-)

[trumad]

39. Should there be a cut off weight?

700 pounds maybe?

[robinlynne]

42. good for you! and way to say it.

[TreasonousBastard]

45. Whatsis got to do with you? That other thread was about...

someone who might be physically unable to care for a kid. If you can care for the kids, that's all that counts and weight is irrelevant.

Some of the comments there were over the line, but get a grip.

[Katherine Brengle]

49. Telling someone to shut up and deal with it when they point out

discriminatory, ridiculous behavior is just as disgusting at that behavior.

[trumad]

50. Again I ask

what would be the cut off weight before it was legit to not let someone adopt a child?

[Beausoir]

52. Why don't YOU, Trumad, tell us. What is the cut-off weight?

[trumad]

53. 505?

Just kidding...

The point is--- what if a 650 pound man wanted to do this? Would it be OK?

[Beausoir]

63. You tell me. What is your cut-off point for being a good parent? Be specific.

[ruiner4u]

Exactly...

when we start nitpicking each others lives, I doubt any of us would pass a fit parent test.

[LittleClarkie]

76. I think it's about being able to actually move

If a two ton man who couldn't get out of bed wanted to adopt, then I think we'd have something to chat about. But a parent with no apparent health issues besides the obesity shouldn't be discriminated against because they "might" have health issues later. Any one of us "might" have health issues later.

And some people just run heavy. My co-worker must be close to 200 lbs, but she seems to do just fine activity wise.

I'm 230 myself. No kids though, and not inclined to get any either.

[TreasonousBastard]

62. There is none-- just the question of physical ability, and...

weight is only a part of that.

[CTyankee]

146. I couldn't take weight off; now I can't put it on!

Before my abdominal surgeries last April, I had battled to take weight off, on a treadmill every day, watching my calorie consumption, eating foods high in fiber.

Now after the surgeries I have lost 30 pounds and my doctor wants my weight loss to stop. I have a limited diet now, very little fiber, and I still cannot go back to the treadmill.

My point is that I am not very healthy in one sense, my stamina, but I had lots of it before when I was overweight. I am now looking for a nutritionist who can help me eat well in smaller but more frequent meals.

Be careful what you wish for...

[LittleClarkie]

68. There was a post in the other thread that pushed all her buttons at once, I reckon

not the thread per se, but a post in the thread.

[kitty1]

55. There was a related story on CNN tonite about a 500 lb man....

and his wife who were refused adoption of his 3 month old nephew because of his weight. I believe it was on Paula Zahn. I just saw a couple of minutes of the broadcast though.
I'm just speculating, but I think it must have something to do with the fact that obese (as opposed to just overweight) people, pose a huge health risk and quite potentially a short life span.
Not to mention the energy that would be involved in keeping up with a small child day to day of course. A 500 lb man would not be able to interact easily with a child physically.
I think they may be concerned about the child's eating habits too,if overeating was the sole reason for this man's obesity as opposed to a glandular condition.
We all know there are large people who live full lives and function well. I guess it comes down to percentages.
500 lbs is not the kind of gain you can make disappear with some slim fast drinks and hoodia. It's a major challenge of course.

[Maat]

59. As a overweight lady, retired social worker AND adoptive mom ..

of a 'county kid,' I say "Bullcrap!" to anyone who would say such a silly thing (that 'fat' people shouldn't be allowed to adopt).

And, as a law school graduate, I would definitely advise that potential parent to appeal this decision! He will win that appeal in a heartbeat!

BUT ... at least you didn't get called a "human trafficker" like I did, here on this Board, by some whackjob who didn't believe in adoption. I actually cried, as I was alerting the Mods (the post was deleted).

And, thanks for what you did. Beloved Daughter is the center of my life.

AND ... for you ... :hug:

P.S. I've also been told, not on this Board, that adopted kids don't enjoy celebrating their birthdays. I just laughed at that one. Beloved Princess literally plans her celebration a year in advance.

[Beausoir]

67. Yet another voice of reason and kindness.

Thank you.

[trumad]

70. So no weight should disqualify?

[Beausoir]

73. You tell us. What do you think should disqualify someone as a parent?

Trumad...I am especially saddened by your reaction to this thread.

I always thought you were smart and funny.

[trumad]

80. Well thank you

but I'm looking at it from the other side:

Look---If the guy can get around and function well at 500 pounds---well good for him. But damn--- any heavier than that and the persons functionality and health is going to lesson considerably.

So I ask--- isn't that a concern if you're going to place a child with a person in that state?

[Maat]

100. A myriad of factors are a "concern" - you weigh them intelligently and discreetly.

But, frankly, as a social worker, I was so darned glad to find a loving home for a kid on my caseload, who had been abused, neglected, or abandoned (or a combination thereof), that I would not make an issue out of anything unless it was stunningly significant. Any parent willing to go through a year of sheer hell - while the case wound through the courts, while bonding (so tightly with the kid that the kid developed healthy self-esteem) - AND while showing amazing patience - was "aces" in my book (a parent who kept the kid safe, nurtured the kid, and educated the kid).

AND, I would NOT tolerate arbitrary, capricious behavior on the part of the adoptions worker. I remember one time an adoptions worker going toe-to-toe with me (the caseworker) about keeping a case for a similar reason. That was straightened out - MY WAY - in front of our supervisors.

I would NEVER discriminate on the basis of weight (nor did I). Heck, many cancer survivors I know have adopted. The key is to find a permanent, loving home for the child; there are never any guarantees in life.

[Zodiak]

171. Yup

Case by case is the hallmark of a healthy jurisprudence system. If, in his case, he can move around and provide, I see no problem.

"One size fits all" cutoffs do not take into account the ACTUAL health of the prospective parent, so no weight should be set as the cutoff. An 8 foot tall man would weight quite a bit without having a lot of body fat....obviously a weight requirement might kick his ass for no more reason than some jagoff thought weight would be a good criterion for health. Stupid.

How about this? Judging by whether or not the parent CAN take care of a kid independent of weight. He was a registered foster parent...just in case no one else has mentioned it. That might indicate that IN HIS CASE, he is perfectly capable of providing for the child.

[Maat]

71. Blessings to you and yours (n/t)!

[smokey nj]

144. Human trafficker?!

Un-fucking-believable. I'm so sorry someone said that to you, Maat. :hug:

[shimmergal]

155. That "don't enjoy celebrating their birthdays"

thing is ridiculous!

My two adopted granddaughters are just like your Princess; they plan them out way ahead of time, complete with theme and the kind of cake they want. How awful if somebody tried to downplay their birthday celebration!

[Gregorian]

60. Wow. I totally totally admire you.

Noble is what comes to mind. Selfless and kind.

I cannot say enough good things about your acts. And it's what people do that impresses me. Not what they say.

The world is a better place with you. And I thank you. As I'm sure your children do.

[Buzz Clik]

74. Does this thread have anything to do with anything but complete contempt?

You aren't seeking opinions. You clearly have no problem adopting children, so your problem is with certain DUers.

Ever consider using PMs and leaving us alone?

Or, maybe you might consider developing a sense of humor.

But, if you come here looking for an unconditional ass-kissing, you're in the wrong place.

[Missy Vixen]

91. Considering the fact that those who were making the statement

voted in a poll and didn't have the guts to leave any comments in the thread itself (save one,) it would have been difficult for Beausoir to PM them in the first place.

>Or, maybe you might consider developing a sense of humor.<

So, in other words, we should just learn to laugh off bigotry. It doesn't matter. After all, this is a progressive site. I'm sure bigots of all stripes are welcome here, aren't they?

Julie

[Buzz Clik]

93. Oh, so this is left-overs from some other thread?

How about that.

Well, let's consider two things:

1) That's a violation of DU rules.
2) I never saw the other thread or heard of it until just now.

If you're looking for a bigot, look elsewhere. And, yeah, this thread just isn't very fucking funny.

[nam78_two]

78. How nice of you to adopt 5 kids :-)

Good luck with raising them. For your sake, I hope they don't all hit their teens at the same time ;).

[Missy Vixen]

83. Beausoir, I've got your back

Your kids are damn lucky to have the mama they do. :hug: :woohoo: It is rare in life to find anyone who puts their money where their mouth is. To love and nurture five kids who wouldn't have a family if you and your husband hadn't stepped forward -- you rawk.

Weight has nothing to do with it.

Julie

[ryanus]

84. uh, no. No ma'am

:)

[Dorian Gray]

85. This was the top post tonight

and I haven't been on DU for a full day, so I have no idea what this is in response to. But, having been adopted by a robust mother who provided me with a wonderful life, I certainly have no an ounce of scorn for you.

[melody]

87. Ignore the idiots and bigots

No one who is educated on these matters (health and otherwise) would have a problem with your
lovely family. I wonder if they would take away children from people who work a lot or exercise
too much or obsess on their children's diets so that they become anorexic. Hmmm ...

[Ilsa]

88. You are a beautiful woman. Don't let the shithead judges get you down.

YOur kids need you to be happy and loving. Don't let anyone spoil it for you.

[The Doctor.]

89. Can you care for them? -Then no problem.

Take care of yourself though, children who lose a parent too early go through serious issues. All of us parents must be sure to take care of ourselves as best we can so that we are more likely and able to be there for them until they can be on their own.

[Lex]

90. Like smokers, or those who ride motorcycles, right?

nt

[The Doctor.]

112. So motorcycles kill as many as cigarettes do??? Otherwise, yes, it's still

The responsibility of a parent to take reasonable care of themselves.

I never used to wear a seatbelt until I had kids, now I always do.

Are you suggesting that once we become parents we put ourselves in a bubble? :shrug:

Tragic accidents will always happen. Skiing, motorcycles, horseback riding, joining the army, and crossing the street can all result in death. I have no intention of teaching my children to be afraid of activities that have reasonable degrees of risk and carry great rewards.

But if I smoke, eat, or drink myself to death, that tells them something else entirely. While it may be just as tragic as being killed in a car accident, they know I didn't get in the car knowing that it would eventually kill me.

I'd rather be an example of an active parent and teach my kids to ski or ride and be active, these things improve quality of life.
Becoming obese or drug dependent degrades quality of life, and I don't want that for my children... or anyone else's for that matter.

If the original poster can care for her children and give them a good quality of life, that's great. Being overweight doesn't mean you can't do that. My tertiary concern is that the poster remain strong and healthy, whether overweight or not, in order to reasonably insure that her children will not be without her until they are mature enough to handle losing her. Even better if she's around to hold her great-grandchildren. My secondary concern is that the children are raised to be healthy as well.

Is there anything about that you disagree with?

[Luminous Animal]

167. Automobiles are killing the entire damn planet

As well as practically every industry (agro, manufacturing, etc.). Until I see the holier than thou folks demanding a ban on cars, I refuse to take them seriously.

[The Doctor.]

175. Ummm.... yeah, but....

That's entirely beside the point of this thread.

Tell you what a great start would be... Trade all cars for motorcycles! That'd be great! We'd cut our emmissions in half immediately!

"Holier than thou", eh?

Actually, that's a good point.

I've been telling all those 'holier than thou' "think of the children!" anti-gun folks that wail over the hundreds of children (< 14 years) that die every year from senseless gun accidents the same thing! I say, "If you really want to 'think of the children we need to BAN CARS because they kill many thousands of children every year."

Glad to see we're on the same page!

[Luminous Animal]

177. If you are assuming that I am anti-gun...

then you'll have to look elsewhere. What I find ludicrous are gun owners who justify their gun ownership on the grounds of protecting the republic. My response? The republic is nearly lost, asshole, and all you've done is whine about your guns. Personally, I feel that any adult that allows unsupervised access to a gun to any child should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

But for what it is worth, my post was not off point. It addresses the issue that fat people are demonized and marginalized under the pretense that a fat person is hurting kids, society, whatever. Criticism of fat people has reached a fever pitch to the point where a judge is ruling one of them unfit to be a parent. We've created a climate where we are ripping each other apart; meanwhile, BP is allowed to dump mercury into Lake Michigan and laughing all the way to the bank.

[The Doctor.]

183. I assume nothing.

Your ignorance and incoherence, on the other hand, are rather obvious.

Your post is entirely off the point. The OP is about an overweight person raising kids and you posted about pollution. Those two subjects are quite distantly related, which was the point that I made in my response to you.

I'll illustrate; If obese=pollution, then cars=guns. See?

The fact that you have made a judgement about me without actually understanding my response tells me a great deal about you. Do I even own a gun? If so, what makes you think it's even in my house? Why should I think that someone who allows children access to guns should not be prosecuted? Where did I say that overweight people should not raise children?

Sure, I would be concerned if someone were too unfit to administer first aid to a fallen child... we should all be. That is not usually the case though.

Now, for someone who posts so rarely to make such irate and haphazard judgments about someone she knows little, if anything, about is both ignorant and rude. As such you may not ever find out to what extent I agree with you as I don't tend to carry on conversations with irrational people.

Now since I rather suspect you are not rational enough to apologize for you 'asshole' remark, and because you've given me no reason to expect constructive discussion from you in the future, perhaps I should forego any further exploration and give you the honor of being the very first DU member I have ever put on 'ignore'?

I'm rarely ever dissapointed with DUers for their lack of gentility or manners.

Good day,

Dr. E

[Luminous Animal]

192. Let's be clear...

I did not call you an asshole. The asshole that I was referring to was hypothetical though based on a composite of many militia members and gun advocates with which I have had conversations. I apologize for the misunderstanding.

Second, I do not equate obesity with pollution. My point is that obesity is the new bugaboo. It is often characterized as a personal failing and a vice and thus, MAY be used by corporations and the state (barely distinguishable from each other these days) to exert control over the person. Examples: There are companies now that refuse to hire smokers and will fire current smokers who refuse to quit. There are a host of laws, taxes, government agencies, and regulations dealing with smoking that we could not have imagined 10 years ago. An even greater bureaucracy and state apparatus to restrict our civil liberties have grown around drug use.

The result of turning bad habits into vices leads to the perception that they can be controlled which leads to the creation of a state apparatus with which to exert that control. While we are being distracted by pointing fingers at each other for our personal excesses and allowing institutions to blossom to control those personal excesses, the corporate state chips away at regulations meant to serve society as a whole.

The OP was specifically addressing those folks who are distracted by the bugaboo of obesity. I go even further in asserting that such distraction will lead to further acquiescence to the erosion of our liberties.

[The Doctor.]

194. Much more cogent, thanks for clearing that up.

I agree.

The "Think of the children" mantra is just the handle many hyper-righteous consistently use to exert exactly that control.

I do see obesity, like smoking or drug use, as a failing of the individual. There are always emotional, educational, and/or physical disadvantages that contribute to such issues, and I have sympathy for those with such difficulties. While I believe that these are, in fact, 'vices', I do not for one moment believe that they make someone a 'bad parent'. All of these can of course be taken to an extreme where the smoking, drinking, or obesity can and do affect children negatively. It is only rational to be concerned that someone may be incapable of merely bending over to rescue a child who's been poisoned/electrocuted/drowning or other.

Other than those extremes, I have no problem with any otherwise responsible person raising children... in fact I encourage it.

[DeSwiss]

92. Beausoir...

...I'm sorry you had to endure such bigotry but it appears we've become a nation obsessed with OUTWARD appearances. I hope that the man from Independence can get some justice. And I wish you all the luck and good fortune in the world. Five! I barely made with three!

You're my new hero!!!

:hug:

K&R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Maat]

94. Actually, I think that he will get some justice ..

I was a social worker who wound up in Dependency Court frequently, updating the Court on cases; then, as I worked my way through law school and some post-graduate study, I volunteered as a 'paralegal/law-clerk,' if you will, handling interviewing for the attorneys. That prospective parent has great grounds for appeal - IF it gets that far. I guarantee you there will be fireworks before the next hearing involving that kid.

[Seabiscuit]

97. You should be proud of yourself for adopting children.

But I for one am not proud of my excess fat - and am determined to lose it.

It certainly doesn't make one an "unfit parent", just not "fit", in the physical sense.

[blondie58]

98. woah - I have nothing but the utmost respect for you, Beausoir

I certainly missed that initial thread- and I'm glad that I did. It does bother me when people make judgments over someones size, etc.

I honor you- you must be a saint. I have two children, and I can't imagine having anymore. As a single mom, with a neurological disease, every day can be a struggle.

[Maat]

104. Blessings to you, Blondie58!

I've been blessed with good health; however, I have a friend who struggles with Crohn's, and still does a GREAT job of taking care of her kid.

[blondie58]

131. thanks, Maat- that is so sweet

I have always thought it odd that woman seem to have so many more auto-immune diseases than men- must be because we take too much on and worry more?

For myself, it was a 40th birthday present. I had just been divorced- which was a good thing, as my ex was extremely controlling and domineering, but the stress of that first year.... I had two children to wake up and you know how easy that is! :sarcasm: to get to school and daycare.
Our cheap school board had just cut bus service to my daughter's middle school and it really was too far and too dark for her to walk safely and then I had to get my youngest to daycare AND get to work on time. I think that was the catalyst for my condition. I could kick myself, though for not taking out the extended warranty.

But I am blessed by many loving friends and a great family. About three years ago I had a really bad attack which prevented me from working for about three months. My friends at work at the Post Office donated several weeks of annual leave to me so that I could get paid, as I was out of sick and annual leave myself. It is really scary to get a paycheck in the amount of $0, when you have bills to pay coming in.

I am also a big believer in attitude and try to get as much humor as I can, so I am doing good. I have a new man in my life who is totally accepting of my condition and life is good.

[Maat]

160. Good for you!

I'm glad to hear that.

Take care!

[Douglas Carpenter]

105. God Bless you Beausoir....nothing but admiration from anyone who has

any sense of decency and humanity.

[beam me up scottie]

108. People who claim unhealthy folks are unfit parents probably say the same about gay parents.

The "think of the children" hysteria (which is no more that bigotry masked as concern) continues unabated.

[The Doctor.]

113. What's unhealthy about gay parents? nt

[beam me up scottie]

114. You'd have to ask the phobes.

The same ones who think it's a "lifestyle choice". I think they try to claim that they'll either molest the kids or turn them gay.

[The Doctor.]

116. LOL... well

It would definitely be easier to turn a kid fat than gay.

A good parent, whether overweight or gay, will not attempt to do either. (ok, the second is nearly impossible)

[beam me up scottie]

117. I live in an area of the country where racially mixed marriages are still taboo.

It's sickening.

And when you confront the bigots, guess what they use for an excuse?

That's right, THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!

Those poor little things will get picked on by other kids (like schoolyard bullies ever needed an excuse to do that anyway) and shunned in school.

*&%)$&# assholes.

Kids with gay parents, mixed race parents and mixed-anything parents, probably grow up to be very tolerant adults.

[The Doctor.]

120. Not to mention the tendency to have greater genetic advantages.

BTW, there's really no such thing as "race".

Two 'white' folks can be more genetically divergent from one-another than two people who are distinctly 'white' and 'black'.

[beam me up scottie]

123. Yes, I know.

Unfortunately I am restricted to using the labels that others use to separate humans from each other.

I hope by the end of this century everyone will be a nice brown color so they will have one less reason to separate and elevate one group of humans over another.

All animals are created equal.

Except some animals are more equal than others.

[The Doctor.]

125. mixing genes is less like mixing paint and more like mixing light....

Widespread diversity will result in more interesting traits. I'm sure that occured to you as well.

I agree that there will be more 'tan' people, but we'll never get rid of 'white', 'black' and freckles.

Either way, 'race' will be obsolete and likely replaced by 'ethnicity' without respect for pigment, while 'color' will still be around... just not exclusive to any ethnicity.

Should be neat. Hope to see some of the progress.

Cheers.

:)

[beam me up scottie]

126. Cheers!

:toast:

[tech3149]

109. My only problem is understanding where you find the time, money, and energy

If they ever need a break from the routine, I can offer adopted grandparents that will spoil them beyond any acceptable standards.

[silverojo]

111. You're not unfit--I think you're great

The problem with being fat, though, is that it leads to heart-related diseases, diabetes, etc., which can shorten your life. Your kids depend on you, and need you around for as long as possible (yes, even when they're grown).

I recently lost a dear, close relative to congestive heart failure, brought on by obesity. You have no idea how much it hurts, to be the one left behind...especially if the person you've lost suffers so much before they die.

Please, please spare your little ones the heartache I'm feeling right now. Adopt a healthful lifestyle, and teach it to your kids, so that they'll grow up strong and healthy. That's the greatest love you can give them. :)

[eridani]

127. No, it does not

You have cause and effect reversed. It's being genetically insulin resistant that leads to weight gain in adulthood and eventually diabetes, though this can be postponed by staying as active as possible and watching out for the glycemic index of foods you usually eat.

[cutlassmama]

115. My husband's last name is VERY close to your User Name

and he LOVES fat women (me included). :) We raised two children just fine and I'm a 6x.

[Beelzebud]

118. I just think you're awesome for providing 5 children with a chance in this world.

So to those people that would disparage others for not being perfect: Fuck 'em.

You are a good person, they'll always be assholes. Fair trade. :)

[OneBlueSky]

119. do you sing? . . . :) n/t

.

[Hekate]

128. "Your children will rise up and call you blessed" The size of your heart has nothing to do with...

...your dress size. Lucky kids, is all I can say.

Hekate

[Vinca]

132. Wow - you're not a fat woman, you're a saint.

In any case, I prefer to call us calorically-challenged.:pals:

[EstimatedProphet]

133. I don't, and I don't understand why someone would

Good for you for adopting!

[toddaa]

134. Here's the funny part, in 70 years both you and the jerk who criticised you will both be dead

Wait, humans don't live forever?

[PA Democrat]

135. Your kids are lucky to have you, Beausoir!

You mentioned that more than one of your children have special needs, and as the mom of two kids, one with special needs, you have my utmost respect and admiration. It takes a very loving and special person willingly to take on the extra challenges of raising a child with special needs. You need to become a medical expert, an education expert, a legal expert, and a professional advocate, in addition to just being a loving mom.

I wish you and your family all the best.

[Freddie Stubbs]

136. Morbidly obese, obese, or just overweight?

There is a difference.

[Bassic]

137. Fat people are unfit parents?

Since when?

[nuxvomica]

138. My mom has been overweight as long as I can remember

But she raised 4 kids, is in her mid 80s and continues to take care of my developmentally disabled brother, who still lives with her. Everything else my folks accomplished in their lives is trivial compared to their heroic resolve to keep my brother at home when doctors insisted he should be institutionalized. It wasn't till he was in his 30s that we officially learned the medicos' initial diagnosis was wrong and that he was just as capable and remarkable a person as my mom and dad always thought he was. That is the profound intelligence of love, which bathroom scales can't measure.

P.S. I'm sorry I didn't respond to your post in the way you had requested. ;-)

[IndianaJones]

139. I got a problem with it.....

I think only thin white Christian heteros should have or adopt kids. Said people should be in perfect physical health and preferably be attractive to standards I would set.

Keep doing what you're doing and screw what other people think. Discrimination against the most convenient new group is the hallmark of our society.

[blondeatlast]

142. No problem whatsoever. Thank you for sharing love; it's a rare

commodity these days.

:hug:

[piesRsquare]

143. Yeah, I gotta problem with that!

The problem I have with that is...

uh...

is uhh.....

uhhhhhhhh.....

I fergit. Carry on!

;)

[LWolf]

145. You have my full support.

:hug:

[marshall]

147. China has a problem with overweight adoptive parents

Unfortunately, it's not just a US thing. China recently amended their law to bar overweight parents from adopting in their country.

[shimmergal]

162. The Chinese change is a bit more complex

than that.

First, they recently added numerous new restrictions on who's eligible to apply for INTERNATIONAL ADOPTION from China. They're trying to increase the number of domestic adoptions, and as far as I know the changes don't apply there. Also it's probably not a statutory law change, just a tightening up of regulations. Among the other new restrictions: no single-parent adoptions, no parents over 50-yrs of age, only college graduates are eligible to apply.

It's likely that these changes have been instituted in preparation for the 2008 Olympics. With the world's attention on China, they don't want to look like a baby-mill nation.

It's also rumored that these provisions are likely to be reversed once the Olympic year is over, because there are indeed so many babies in Chinese orphanages who do need homes. However, this speculation shouldn't be bruited about widely, since the Chinese govt. is very sensitive about the issue.

[NuttyFluffers]

148. aparently 'all you need is love' isn't enough for some people

but then, i'm sure such paragons of parenthood are regularly caring for dozens and dozens of children in desperate need of loving homes.

oh well, maybe one day people will grow up and realize perfection is an impossibility -- and often arbitrary. :shrug:

[Raejeanowl]

152. Did I Miss Something?

If we were talking about parents unable to get out of bed, work, keep clean, health crashing in general, etc., I might express concerns, since you asked. But that's an obvious extreme.

Otherwise, I think there's more of a problem with people demonizing overweight and obesity and making MORAL judgments about size and weight control issues.

We keep losing our whipping posts and looking for fresh new victims. Is anyone denying adoption to self-righteous a**holes? No such luck, yet.

Bless you and your kids.

[Beausoir]

153. Jeeze. Guess I flew off the handle on this one. Sorry. But huge thanks to you all.

I wasn't looking for praise....I am NO saint...just ask my kids.

I just got really outraged when, in another thread, some here were claiming that fat people shouldn't be able to adopt.

Once again, DU has done right by me. I was really worried that I would sign on this morning and find post after post, bashing me or other fat parents.

I should have know better.

[Marnieworld]

154. I applaud your generous kind spirit

I don't have it in me to raise one kid. to choose to raise 5 and to help so many in need is amazing to me. I can understand the argument that 500 pounds is more than an aesthetic problem but a disability because it really limits the ability to do the most basic of tasks. Yet, would they deny a person with MS? A deaf person? Who decides the line? Are there rules that you are aware of for these types of disqualifications that you encountered when you adopted that morbid obesity would be similar too?

[Beausoir]

157. We were chosen by the birthmothers of our children. I guess fatness was not a problem for them.

Thank the heavens. My children have been a blessing to me.

[Marnieworld]

164. mmm

I wasn't thinking that you encountered any problems from your weight. I was wondering if you learned while you were adopting of reasons to be disqualified that could be at least be compared to whatever limitations that judge believes the 500 lb man could have.

For instance is it the law that a disabled person can't adopt? Or would an actual diabetic be refused outright? If those people can adopt but someone that could someday have those conditions not adopt then it is clear-cut discrimination. If they can't adopt then I would think that it is an extension of an already existing disqualification. That's what I was hoping you knew.

What anyone who actually thinks this is a good idea hasn't considered is this logistics of possible health problems being a disqualifier. First what is too fat? I'm sure you can have two different people with the same weight with drastically different health. Would there be a designated medical panel devoted to assessing the health of all applicants. Then you'd have to exclude smokers, hemophilliacs, diabetics, and anyone with a physical limitation. If you can't chase your kid or throw a ball you automatically are completely a neglectful parent. You know what throw out illiterates too- kids need someone who can read. So with an entire medical history and physical challenges test it can be determined suitability. Nevermind that in medicine that there are only tendencies and likelihood and that exceptions exist. We all know the elderly fat smoker who laughs off the odds. Nope when in doubt screw the kids. Daddy might have to give himself a daily shot someday so now you should live in loveless, dangerous foster care. Yep, that's the way to help them. It's unenforceable, too dangerously subjective- hardly the tenets of a fair and equitable system.

My mother was overweight and I can remember her starting to have problems walking due to knee problems around her late 40s. That was an inconvenience and sort of sad for me but I'd rather have had her, any mother, than no one at all. As if that's what that bond is about? That's what parents are there to give.

The same people saying that overweight or obese people should be denied children are probably in complete support of say someone in their 40s having a child. Someone knocking on the door of menopause cheating nature with fertility drugs. Nevermind that those children will be raised by people who can't run like someone in their 20s. Nevermind that they will need bifocals to read their kids homework. Nevermind that no one is guranteed longevity- thin people get sick and die everyday. To have a child at that age increases the liklihood of leaving your child before they become an adult- is that child getting everything a child with perfectly young, strong and healthy parents gets? Of course not but that type of choice or family should not be denied because it's less than ideal. Parents in their 40s are at an increased risk for all sorts of health conditions just like the overweight. But of course they aren't the targets of such hatred as the obese. No one would ever think that was fair. But hated fatties? F-em! they did it to themselves. Some people never follow the logic of their arguements because it is so much more comforting to judge.

[4_TN_TITANS]

156. Big Daddy checking in...

and I'm told a pretty good parent, too. I'm only 300 lbs. My girls joke about my size, but they also like having me and my large relatives watching their backs. They're future amazons themselves.

There are plenty of us who admire a full figure, Beausoir. Don't be so testy.... :hug:

[Beausoir]

158. Yes, I was too testy. Just one of those nights, I guess.

[pitohui]

159. i can't imagine anyone saying you are an unfit parent because of your weight

i mean, hello, if you had physically given birth to five children, the odds are pretty high that you'd be fat, and so what?

i saw the story about the judge refusing the fat man to adopt his own nephew and i'm just blown away

it's crazy time i guess

what does it matter what you weigh if you can love a child and provide a secure home?

[Writer]

161. I am a FAT woman who adopted five children. You gotta problem with that?

I don't know... are you looking for a problem?

[YOY]

163. You're obviously a horrible person!

:sarcasm: :sarcasm: :sarcasm: :sarcasm: :sarcasm: :sarcasm: :sarcasm: :sarcasm: :sarcasm:

Seriously, we've got a few jaggoffs here on a few subjects. I liked the a week or so ago where we had some jerk calling anyone who had kids a "breeder". We've got gay/lesbian friends, but nothing say's "I am a bitter gay man" like calling anyone with kids a "breeder".

[Luminous Animal]

165. Fat people have become the new smokers

Folks wonder how the U.S. citizenry abides the Bush administrations fascist creep. Truth is, we are well inured to it. From sobriety checkpoints to drug testing to asset seizing to refusing to hire smokers.

The demonization of overweight people is in full swing. There has always been folks who will belittle fat people, now they are constant fodder for network shows and news.

Given that we've accepted criminal consequences for people's bad habits, it wouldn't surprise me that within the next 5-10 years we'll be outlawing fat people from buying or ordering fattening food.

[rucky]

174. No shit. I quit smoking, gain a bunch of weight & still can't catch a break!

maybe I should start snorting something.

[Luminous Animal]

176. :) ! Nice!

For crying out loud! If people would spend 1/10th the energy that they currently spend wagging their fingers at others and rather agitate against what is really killing us, we wouldn't be facing peak oil, global warming, and a water crisis.

Sometimes I feel that the anti-drug, anti-smoking, anti-fat-people organizations are funded by big oil, big chem, and big agro. By keeping the focus on our individual "short-comings" and vices, they deal death on a global scale with impunity.

[ismnotwasm]

169. Not I.

My husband was left with 2 daughters when his wife left. He had been also just been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. The Doctor wrote him a prescription for a wheelchair and told him he would be bed bound within a few months, and lose custody of his girls. (This was a couple of years before I came along)Over 20 years later, he's still walking, and driving. Girls are grown and doing well.

A very sad side note. My husband during the turmoil of his divorce, had tried to adopt an older child of hers who was not his biologically. He's that kind of a guy. (She had left the child with the state) The state would not allow it, "because he was a single parent" The biological mother of our girls died a few years back of suicide. Her outsides looked good. Her insides needed a lot of help she never received.


You are an angel in my eyes, to adopt those children. We never found out what happened to the girl's older brother. My hope is that he found a loving family.

[Beausoir]

170. "Her outsides looked good. Her insides needed a lot of help "

That really sums up this entire debate.

I hope that older brother found someone to love.

[DemBones DemBones]

172. Thanks for adopting AND for speaking up against bigotry.

No matter who you are and what you do, some DUers are determined to criticize you, even vilify you.

My husband's aunt, who was always fat, died last week. She was 85.
His uncle, who was also always fat, died a few years back and he was over 80, too.

I had an aunt and uncle who were always thin. They both died in their mid-60s.


Being fat doesn't mean you'll die young. Being thin doesn't mean you'll have a long life.


Life's uncertain. Live it and let other people live theirs without judging them.

[rucky]

173. If you keep on adopting children

then everybody's going to start adopting children.

It would be mayhem! Cats & dogs living together!


for the love of god, woman...

:yourock:

[Beausoir]

182. What movie is that from? It escapes me right now.

Lol.

[rucky]

193. think Bill Murray. n/t

[blondie58]

178. now, here is a news story that was posted today

It doesn't state as to whether this mother was fat. I wonder if that was her problem. :sarcasm:

This is so sad- size and looks have nothing to do with what kind of mother one will be.


http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x2936850
edited to add link with story, as this blonde forgot.

[sutz12]

180. Sorry, but I need more data before I can make a judgement.

I'm just sort of funny that way. ;)

[REP]

184. Well, If You Put Down The Doughnuts for a Moment, I'll Tell You ...

Because, after all, fat people spend every waking moment of every day eating something, usually deep-fried and/or greasy, right? And they're terrible, terrible people. Probably the real cause of the Irag war and teh genocide in Darfur.

Right?


Remember that John Lennon song, "Woman is the Nigger of the World"?

"We make her bear and raise our children
And then we leave her flat for being a fat old mother then
We tell her home is the only place she would be
Then we complain that she’s too unworldly to be our friend

We insult her everyday on TV
And wonder why she has no guts or confidence
When she’s young we kill her will to be free
While telling her not to be so smart we put her down for being so dumb"

Fat = bad. Fat women = the worst thing ever.

[Beausoir]

190. LOL! n/t

[donheld]

185. I think you are to be commended.

Fat, so am i, but adopting any kids at all is great thing. Anybody gives you problems Let me know, I'll knock'em upside their heads :yourock:

[benEzra]

186. No. I applaud you, and your kids are lucky/blessed to have a loving home. (n/t)

[NaturalHigh]

187. Apparently, I've missed something here.

The post that seems to have set this off has been deleted, so I didn't get to see it.

As a fat guy with two step-kids, I think you've done a great thing.

[theboss]

188. I'm lost

So...yay!

[guitar man]

189. I think you're fantastic

for adopting those children!! :bounce::applause:






and I think big women are hawt too!....... :blush: :loveya:

[frustrated_lefty]

196. Well. it's not clear if

in an emergency situation you could run down the stairs or get the kid to the car or do any of these things efficiently enough to save the child's life? You might experience cardiac arrest under such strenuous circumstances!

No, doll, I don't think that, and I DO smile with genuine happiness knowing you adopted those kids.

Anybody can be torn down, though, especially when they target a demographic. Smokers have been the first, the "fat" are next. Just dot your "i"s and cross your "t"s on the paperwork.