How to recognize a compassionate conservative--

[Jackpine Radical]

He's the one who, when encountering a derelict sleeping on a heating grate, just steps over without kicking him.

[crim son]

1. Or he's like my father, who ended a partnership with another doctor

when that doctor refused to treat patients without insurance. Maybe this compassionate conservative would take produce and flowers in lieu of medical fees, and perhaps he would volunteer at the local jail to provide medical care for imprisoned women (he's an ob/gyn). Maybe he's the guy who took in a pregnant teenager and provided her with a home and family, not to mention a crib, baby clothes and the rest of it, taking care of her until well after the baby was born and the young woman was able to get back on her feet.

There ARE compassionate conservatives. None of them have anything to do with the shrub's administration, however.

[The Vinyl Ripper]

2. Reminds me of the old joke...

How do you tell the difference between a dead deer in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

The deer is the one with the skid marks.. <bada bing>

[Mendocino]

4. Why don't sharks eat lawyers?

professional courtesy

[The Vinyl Ripper]

7. A woman goes to her doctor with an uncomfortable question

"My husband wants to have sex with me... you know.. back there.."

"Can I get pregnant from that?"

The doctor says "Of course you can my dear, where do you think lawyers come from?"

[zabet]

3. 'compassionate conservative' is an oxymoron. n/t

[Buzz Clik]

5. I know they're hard to tell apart, but that was a moderate liberal.

Here's the behavior list for that scenario:

1. Extreme leftist: Will take the homeless person to live in their commune
   
   
2. Staunch liberal: Helps the man to a homeless shelter.
   
   
3. Moderate liberal: Will step over the man quietly to avoid disturbing his sleep.
   
   
4. Moderate conservative: Will gently wake the man and tell him to leave before he calls the police
   
   
5. Compassionate neo-conservative: Struggling to hold back a snarling, growling Dobermann, he warns the man to "get the hell out of my way"
   
   
6. Neo-conservative: Let's the Dobermann have his way with the man. (It might not be all that bad -- the dog might merely urinate on him)
   
   
7. Staunch conservative: Tells the man a couple of places looking for temporary help.

[Jackpine Radical]

6. You win.

[The Vinyl Ripper]

8. I agree.. dah winnah..