Some sexual repression is good!

[hedgehog]

Otherwise - we'd have people sitting around at the mall or at work jacking off. You'd be tripping over people going at it while all you want to do is grab a can of peaches off the shelf, finish your grocery shopping and get out of there. Any person of any age or gender would be fair game for any other person who is bigger and stronger.I'd venture to state that most societies, whatever their attitude toward sexuality, do place limits on when, where and with whom. Merely by stating that the woman must say yes, you're repressing every man.

Our notion that sexual repression is bad and results in creating pressures that will eventually explode comes from an interpretation of Freud's work. I won't even say it is a correct interpretation of Freud's work. It is based on the model of the brain as a steam engine! Without a safety valve, boiler blow up, therefore if you are repressed sexually, you will blow up. The model of the brain as a steam engine has long since been discarded except in popular mythology.

Is sex a normal healthy part of life? Of course it is. So is sleeping, eating, defecation, physical exercise etc, and society places limitations and controls on all these activities as well. We repress all of our natural urges from time to time in order to be able to live together. Can sexual repression be overdone? Of course it can. For comparison, consider all the women and increasingly men who are afflicted with anorexia because our society has such screwed up attitudes toward food and body sizes. Sexual repression is overdone when sex is considered to be evil.

Another poster submitted the thesis that if we weren't sexually repressed, there would be no porn. I submit that the enjoyment of porn depends on the notion that sexual activity is bad. It is no coincidence that so many fundamentalists are hooked on porn.

[youthere]

1. Are we talking peaches in heavy, or light syrup?

[David__77]

2. I would hope it's in natural juices only.

I was wondering the same thing!

[Warpy]

28. No, light syrup, definitely

Peaches in nothing but natural juice and a little canning water tend to taste insipid.

Most fruits benefit from a gastrique, a sauce of acid and sugar.

Heavy syrup is unnecessary unless you're putting them on pancakes or ice cream.

[Fridays Child]

3. In their own juice, of course!

[mzmolly]

4. Indeed, my male dog humps my leg, but I'd rather my friends not do so.

;)

I submit that the enjoyment of porn depends on the notion that sexual activity is bad. It is no coincidence that so many fundamentalists are hooked on porn.

Very interesting perspective, and might I say I agree.

Recommended. :toast:

[lumberjack_jeff]

45. LOL! n/t

[mzmolly]

101. Well, in hindsite, I guess it does depend upon the friend in question?

If I were friends with Brad Pitt ??? :P

:hi:

[Katherine Brengle]

5. Good points.

Also, there have been an increasing number of poster equating porn with *all sex* which is disingenuous and false.

One needn't watch or approve of pornography to have a fulfilling and adventurous sex life. In fact, I'd say that pornography is more likely to stifle sexual expression than foster it.

[hedgehog]

6. Dare I ask

How many people watch porn from their mother's basement?

[Katherine Brengle]

20. Yikes. I'm sure I don't want to know lol. nt

[Madspirit]

89. Yeah, that pissed me off

The one about ...let's have a forum for the non-sexually uptight women here who love porn. Like just because some of us don't like porn or watch porn, we are repressed. I would easily challenge that poster to a rundown of numbers of partners, if we were to be so crass. I was a teen/twenties in the late sixties, early seventies. I've done lots of things and back then, if it moved... That does not mean that because I, personally, do not enjoy watching other people do it, I am uptight. What a crock of disingenuous, pop psychology garbage. You really don't have to be sexually crass and in people's faces with your sexuality to have a great sex life. I know this because I am not sexually crass and I do have a great sex life.

Lee

[mzmolly]

105. I agree.

*ehem*

:blush: < My repressed smiley.

[Jade Fox]

7. Then notion that sex is bad......

is an important part of sexual repression, and therefore is part of the puritanical legacy that supports the pornography industry.

[hedgehog]

10. There is a diference between thinking that sex is bad, and thinking that

there is a time and place for it. We don't eat on certain occasions either, but eating isn't bad.

[Jade Fox]

21. Of course. "lack of sexual repression" does not mean.....

humping anywhere and everywhere with everyone. Decorum and appropriateness count in all human activity.

[The Vinyl Ripper]

22. The only occasion that I can think of

When someone would face formal censure for eating would be in a courtroom.

That is not true for sex.

[hfojvt]

53. it is also prohibited at many work stations

Not a government restriction, but an employer one. A person's employer often has more control over a person's life than the government does.

[Tsiyu]

82. Huh?

*you can't eat while preparing food in any commercial kitchen - serious health code violation

* you can't eat in most retail non/food establishments

* you can't eat your own food in certain places in the airport.

* you can't eat in the classroom without permission in most cases




I could continue......but why?

[malaise]

23. Bingo

Sexual control is completely different from sexual repression.

[frogcycle]

24. and some are constantly seeking control

even buying products that purport to help

:)

[DemGa]

8. Freud

On sexual impulses which have become inhibited or sublimated.

"The manner in which the sexual instincts can thus be influenced and diverted enables them to be employed for cultural activities of every kind, to which indeed they bring the most important contributions" (The Freud Reader, p. 24).

[monmouth]

9. Well.....I STILL have a headache......(sigh).

[kenny blankenship]

11. Are you SURE you were just there for the peaches?

only the peaches?

[hedgehog]

14. I was trying to come up with some item that couldn't be used for innuedo.

Clearly, I've failed.









MMMMMMM..., peaches

[frogcycle]

19. i won't relate the peaches story I heard when in college

my sister's medical-student boyfriend told it.

there just is NO item safe!

[mzmolly]

46. "I really love your peaches wanna shake your treeeeee...."

I didn't know what that song was referring to until I was 35 and singing it while cleaning my house, then it dawned on me LOL.

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/s/steve+miller/the+joker_20131059.html

[frogcycle]

12. It's not that hard to

grab a can of peaches with one hand. But pushing the cart one-handed can be awkward.

On a more serious note - "the enjoyment of porn depends on the notion that sexual activity is bad." has no basis in - well, anything. 'porn' is too broad a topic for such an assertion. Some people try to make a distinction between "soft porn" and "hardcore" but I don't even know where THAT line is drawn.

Enjoying watching people hurt or debase others has nothing to do with sexual repression or thinking "sexual activity is bad," and everything to do with being one sick puppy. On the other hand, if one hears that Beyonce had a "wardrobe malfuction" and wants to see it without it being blurred out, does that even HAVE anything to do with sex? Is it objectifying her? Is one looking for titillation, or just curious? You have to assume if someone takes time to try to find it, that one "enjoys" it when they do.
And yet, there are many who would say a photograph exposing a female breast is 'porn.'

[hedgehog]

16. Anyone who says they aren't curious is lying.

[TahitiNut]

13. So, there's a Laffer Curve for sexual repression?

:rofl:

[sutz12]

18. Post of the day!

:rofl:

[TahitiNut]

40. (lol) It takes a truly sick mind to appreciate that one.

I LIKE that in a person! :silly:

[BlooInBloo]

15. Millions of peaches! Peaches for me! Millions of peaches! Peaches for free!

But seriously - the idea that there's-a-time-and-a-place (good) is the same as "repression" (bad) is just fucking stupid.

[malaise]

17. Isn't control different from repression? n/t

[liberal N proud]

26. I second that question

One can control the urge to wank off while in public, but repression makes it a "sin" to wank off in private as well.

One can not stop the sexual thought but one does control what they do about those thoughts.

[donsu]

25. and sexual Fantasies are not meant to be fulfilled

once a fantasy is fulfilled it turns to reality and is no longer a fantasy

[Greyskye]

56. they're not?

Am I being sarcasm detection impaired here?

Damn. Thinking about the fantasies of mine that have been fulfilled over the years certainly hasn't disappointed or depressed me. Sure it isn't an unfulfilled fantasy - it's now fulfilled and a happy memory. What's wrong with that? :shrug:

[ismnotwasm]

27. Yup

There is a lot of sexual freedom once you realize sex isn't nasty, dirty or "bad". And that you don't need to feel that way to get off. And you don't need to worry about it all the friggin' time. Or obsess on it. Or watch videos that look painful and damaging to your body if acted out in real life.

(As an aside, ask any ER doc or nurse about how people get hurt sticking objects in different orifices. It's pretty sad.)

That freedom is when sex becomes a natural high, one of the best there is.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

31. What Acts Are Damaging To Your Body

Please tell me what acts are damaging to my body so I will know which ones to avoid?

[David__77]

32. There are potentially damaging sex practices.

I think the best thing in these cases is to educate the right populations about how to minimize dangers, and in other cases where the practice is undeniably dangerous (like asphyxiation as a means of arousal), these practices should be clearly discouraged.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

35. I Agree

But I believe the poster was alluding to other practices when she said "As an aside, ask any ER doc or nurse about how people get hurt sticking objects in different orifices. It's pretty sad."

[The Vinyl Ripper]

47. We have smog alerts to tell people how to remain safer.

How about orifice updates to help keep people from sticking the wrong object in the wrong orifice?

It's eleven pm, do you know what orifice which object is in?

People tend not to talk about these things in public so not everyone knows what you can put where.

Who would have known just how painful a small cactus can really be?

[DemocratSinceBirth]

49. I Think The Supreme Court Ruled We Can Put Anything We Want In Our Orifices

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawrence_v._Texas

I wonder if the poster wants to revisit Lawrence... She's only short one vote...

[hedgehog]

51. Just because it is legal to do something doesn't necessarily mean it

is always wise to do so.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

52. Does That Mean That Gay Men Who Have Consensual Sodomy Are Being Unwise?

eom

[mondo joe]

54. Sure. Like it's unwise to stick a car key in your ear. But in the context of sexual

activity of one or more consenting adults, what exactly are you talking about?

[mondo joe]

55. I know ER docs who are into plenty of interesting sexual activity.

The fact that some people do things in a way that leads to difficulty doesn't mean the thing itself is BAD.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

58. It's Mostly Urban Myth

The stories of folks getting objects lodged in their nether region that they can't remove is largely in the domain of urban myth , cousin to the apocrypha that Richard Gere got a ferret stuck in his...

[mondo joe]

59. One of my kids moms was an ER doc for some time.

She has related a few weirdo things to me from her experience - though not on the scale that the sex-authoritarians like to hype.

On the other hand, I know that her sex life is or has been rather more experimental than mine. So whatever she saw didn't frighten her off too much.

[Tsiyu]

87. having worked in two Atlanta ER's

i'd say that it's a myth that it's a myth.

that's all i'm saying.

And...I'll say this: gerbils.

if anyone is asking again for a list.....gerbils are a definite no-no.



thanks

[qdemn7]

91. No it is not "largely in the domain of urban myth"

As for proof I offer this thread at DSL Reports.com: http://www.dslreports.com/forum/r18616127-">Doctor Dan's Illustrated Medical Extravaganza Thread

[DemocratSinceBirth]

113. Lost That Round

Mea culpa

[frogcycle]

126. see #19

Peach Halves!

:rofl:

[David__77]

29. If you define "repression" in this way, then it's good in all social interactions.

As human beings living in a society, there are many, many restrictions imposed by self and society that inhibit what might otherwise be "instinctual" behavior. But I do not think this is repression really.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

30. It's Redefining A Word To Meet Your Need

It's quite Orwellian...

[Prophet 451]

38. Hardly unique in that

My day job is for a website that includes many fundementalist Christians. You would no believe the way they redefine normal words like "religion", "prayer", "convert" and so on to try and get around the rules.

[DemGa]

33. True, psychological repression happens unconsciously...nt

[Deja Q]

34. No argument from me on this.

In order to prevent disease and needless heartaches, standards were created.

Fortunately, I never got a disease but I learned, there's a reason for standards. :(

[Prophet 451]

36. Disagree, in part

"Another poster submitted the thesis that if we weren't sexually repressed, there would be no porn. I submit that the enjoyment of porn depends on the notion that sexual activity is bad."

I think it's rather simpler than that. Most people use porn as an aid to masturbation so I think enjoyment of porn is as simple as the fact that visual representations of people copping off are arousing.

[KittyWampus]

37. The Word You're Looking For Is SUBLIMATION Not Repression.

[EFerrari]

43. Sublimation is just nicer repression.

lol

[KittyWampus]

98. You can spend your money on nutrient rich food that will last for weeks or buy junk food

that will last for a few days and give next to no nourishment.

Don't try and convince the rest of us that the second option is the optimal use of ones money.

Now just substitute the words 'energy' and 'sex' for 'money' and food'.

[ehrnst]

39. Are you equating repression with propriety?

I don't know if repression is the word I would use. Propriety maybe.

I think of repression as being the squelching of what would be healthy, natural behavior in a mentally healthy person (ie - repression of homosexuality). Societal norms keep our behavior managble and civil, without repression. A normal functional society doesn't need to repress healthy people.

Also, I personally don't have the desire to do it all the time and with everyone, so repression isn't what's keeping my pants on in the grocery store.

Repression isn't keeping me from eating any and all food at all times.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

41. It's Situational Behavior Or Propriety

If I'm at a party and have to break wind I'm going outside... I didn't repress my need to break wind...

[DemocratSinceBirth]

44. Not Since I Turned Forty At Least

"Also, I personally don't have the desire to do it all the time "

[Sapere aude]

48. There is the crowd that fears what they see in themselves and projects that onto society and then

they call for repressing that thing they fear in themselves. Freud called it the reaction formation.

[mzmolly]

50. Depends upon how the word is used. Repression defined via dictionary.com

3. the act of repressing; control by holding down; "his goal was the repression of insolence"

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/repression

[mondo joe]

61. And definition 3 is the least commonly used - that's why it's number 3.

1. a state of forcible subjugation; "the long repression of Christian sects"
2. (psychiatry) the classical defense mechanism that protects you from impulses or ideas that would cause anxiety by preventing them from becoming conscious

[mzmolly]

62. Uncommon does not mean it's not correct to use this term in the contexxxt above.

;)

[mondo joe]

63. No, but it can be intentionally misleading or obfuscating.

Communication done well is about choosing the most accurate words - not the technically allowable but less accurate or more likely to mislead options.

[mzmolly]

67. Communication depends upon an understanding of the language one is attempting to communicate in.

A lack of understanding/knowledge on the part of the people involved, does change the meaning of language.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

73. No

She was bending the meaning of a word to meet her need at the moment.

[mzmolly]

79. How does one bend a word? Words have meaning and the meaning of the word "repress" applies to the

within the context above.

re·press

1. to keep under control, check, or suppress (desires, feelings, actions, tears, etc.).

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/repress

I'm sorry so many people have trouble with the word, but you can't change the English language to suit your argument here.

I assume you agree with the greater context above?

[mondo joe]

80. Bushco doees it all the time: use a technically accurate, but vague or misleading word

or phrase.

"We never said Saddam was behind 911!"

[mzmolly]

86. So?

Your analogy of Bush to the OP is not pertinent.

[mondo joe]

100. You asked "how" and I told you how, complete with an example. NT

[mzmolly]

102. And I said I don't see your example as "pertinent."

:P

[mondo joe]

77. Sorry, but the poster was using the most ill fitting definition. It might be technically

allowable but it is a tragically flawed piece of communication.

I make my living writing, and if I wrote that poorly I'd be considerably less successful than I am.

[mzmolly]

83. So you profess to speak for the OP? I understood the word in the context I noted.

If you didn't understand the OP, that is what as known as a "personal" problem. I don't care if you make a living writing or not. Your lack of understanding of the word repress, is what it is.

[mondo joe]

84. I understood that it was the poorest phrasing possible, but still technically allowable.

Very Bushco.

[mzmolly]

96. And, I understood the context of the word and it's usage.

Very simple.

[BlooInBloo]

95. It's not even technically correct. "suppress" != "repress".

[hedgehog]

103. I was using "repression " in the sense I've seen it used in other posts;

unless you believe that anything goes, you're "repressed"

[mondo joe]

107. If you don't believe anything goes within the context of consenting adults, then

I'd say you probably are repressed.

Jerking off in the grocery store doesn't fit the bill because it takes place in public with others who have NOT consented.

That has nothing to do with the issue of self control or discernment.

[hedgehog]

108. So husband A gets in on with wife B and Husband B and Wife A

are repressed if they object? What about children A and B who have their family life disrupted? Grandparents A & B?

[mondo joe]

110. No, because the parties involved have not consented.

Obviously.

[hedgehog]

112. But who decides who the involved parties are?

In this case, do we include the kids? What about grandparents, aunts and uncles who may be cut off from the kids in the event of a divorce?

Is it possible that this group of consenting adults producing pornography or that group of consenting adults watching pornography could have an effect on that group of adults over there?

No man is an Island, entire of itself;
every man is a piece of the Continent,
a part of the main.

John Donne

[mondo joe]

114. Where I come from, there is a presumed sexual partnership between spouses, so I'd

say they are an involved party.

If they want to mix it up with another couple, that's their business.

If the marriage falls apart anyone else can care all they want too.

But you've confused issues of family and relationships with sexual acts, where such a relationship exists only coincidentally. Many swinger couples have long lasting marriages, many non swingers don't.

If you care that another couple has consensual anal sex, you are probably repressed.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

115. John Stuart Mill> John Donne

"Over himself, his body and mind, the individual is sovereign"

A behavior has to have a direct effect on an individual not a merely contingent or hypothetical one before society has the right to control it."

[DemocratSinceBirth]

117. Do You Want To Outlaw Adultery Too Now?

I am opposed to it but that's a matter for the church and civil law...

[hedgehog]

118. Who said anything about outlawing it?

I can believe that you are making an absolute jackass of yourself over sex and/or drugs and hurting the people around you and failing to achieve your full potential while simultaneously believing that there is no way to legislate your activities without causing more harm than good.


We're not trying to censor or outlaw porn, just pointing out that in our opinion, it's not a good thing.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

119. I Don't Do Drugs

I would never cheat on my girlfriend...

If porn disappeared tomorrow I could live off the memories...

I just don't think pornography is harmful to most adults and most of the participants. I would qualify that position in as far that the participants must be one hundred percent free of coercion and that the viewing of pornography doesn't interfere with one's life or how he or she relates to other people...

I respect those that make the argument that porn reinforces patriarchal arrangements but I can't buy it...I can also respect the argument that some make that they believe this or that sex act is so aberrant that no person of the right mind would do it but I can't buy it...

When it comes to sex there's a desire and market for just about anything...

[hedgehog]

120. AS soon as you add the word "market" which reduces sex to an item

to be exchanged for other goods or services rather than an end in itself; that's where I think you lose a lot of us.

[mondo joe]

121. And as soon as you make other people's entirely personal choices subject to your

your judgment you lose the rest of us.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

122. There Is A Desire

There is a desire for just about every sexual act imaginable on the part of some males (and) females, and by market I mean there are people who will pay to see it...

What you and I would call kinky or behind the pale is not kinky to others...


The idea that some acts are so beyond the pale with one person or several persons that no person would do it might seem institutive but it isn't... When it comes to sex some folks will get satisfaction from anything;patriarchal arrangements notwithstanding...

[cyborg_jim]

124. Sex has been a commodity before homo sapiens was even on the scene

It is a simple, inevitable, consequence of something having value: it has a market. No point quibbling about it.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

125. I Didn't Mean It Like That But Yeah

There's a reason they call it the "world's oldest profession."

[cyborg_jim]

127. I think it's funny because you can see similar behaviour in other animals

Although in the animal kingdom it is more frequently food rather than greenbacks that constitutes the currency.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/06/05/magazine/05FREAK.html?pagewanted=1&ei=5090&en=af2d9755a2c32ba8&ex=1275624000&partner=rssuserland&emc=rss

[DemocratSinceBirth]

128. A Lot Of The Opposition On This Board

A lot of opposition to porn on this board is based on what I will call the worst case theory ;the genre in porn where a woman is penetrated by several men and they then ejaculate on her face...
They then ask is if you think that's appropriate why wouldn't you do it which assumes nobody in their right mind would voluntarily do it....

The obvious answer is it's a choice but not a choice I'd make...

The less obvious answer is if I put an ad on craiglist or on an alternate lifestyle site or in an alternate lifestyle newspaper I can find lots of men who would be the "recipient" in that scenario from a group of men or a group of pre-op male to female transsexuals...

Maybe I have been around the block or time or two and while my tastes are vanilla I know a lot of other people's tastes aren't...

[cyborg_jim]

129. No shit

The Internet is a real gift to all those people who previously would have had a really hard time finding someone to share their particular perversion with.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

130. Yeah

"Perversion" is a bit harsh but there's folks who are up for all kinds of things...It puts a lie to the argument that nobody wants to be penetrated and ejaculated on by several men...

Some folks just need to get out more...

[cyborg_jim]

131. I use perversion in a strictly technical non-judgemental sense

But it does seem to be a common assertion here that if *I* personally find it a bit off-putting then by Chaos nobody else could possibly find it enjoyable - and if they do, well, they've just been brainwashed into thinking they like it. :shrug:

[DemocratSinceBirth]

132. That's The Argument In A Nutshell

When I was in college my best friend's girlfriend demanded he fist her...Yes demanded...It was that or the relationship was over...I'm not sticking my fist in anybody's orifice but golly gee, I met somebody who liked that...

If there are people that engage in erotic asphyxiation that should suggest to a reasonable person that there are folks that can find sexual pleasure in anything...

[treestar]

137. Only to men; I don't think you'll find any woman willing to pay for it

And there's a reason for that. That it has market value to you says it all right there.

Prostitutes are making a living based on the demand for their services; they're the only women who agree to be outright sold.

Do you see the rest of us as just holding out for a higher price?

[cyborg_jim]

138. Bullshit - again

http://www.salon.com/mwt/broadsheet/2005/11/17/fleiss/index.html

But, yeah, let's not let facts get in the way of your argument now shall we? Nope - it's impossible for a women to place a value on a man's sexual worth.

[valerief]

42. I didn't know repression was synonymous with self-discipline. nt

[mzmolly]

99. To an extent it is.

eom

[bullwinkle428]

57. I've seen Freeper-types use the "sexual repression is good/necessary" argument

as a way to justify their argument that all gay people are "deviant" and lack the self-control that "normal, healthy straight people" have.

Sorry...I can't subscribe to your theory.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

60. It's Akin To The Catholic Church's Argument

It's ok to have homosexual desires as you can not control your desires but it's not ok to have sex with a member of your own gender. In fact it is noble to suppress those urges...I'm loathe to slam the Catholic Church because I admire their "social gospel" but it's this repression of just not homosexuality but much of sexuality as in not allowing priests and nuns to marry that has created this problem of pedophilia in the clergy...

[bullwinkle428]

66. Agree totally - I guess that's why the word "repression" has always

given me the willies... :scared:

To me, it's a gigantic stretch to suggest that repression is the reason why I don't suddenly whip it out and start pleasuring myself in front of my co-workers! :rofl:

[mzmolly]

64. That's no the context in which it was used above.

eom

[bullwinkle428]

69. Maybe it just revolves around out own personal definition of the word repression -

to me, that always implied something being forced against a group. One of the dictionary definitions of the word is "a state of forcible subjugation". I don't really see how this applies to personal sexual behavior...

[mzmolly]

76. The definition can apply to many situations. However, I've heard it used in the manner you describe

as well.

via dictionary.com

3. the act of repressing; control by holding down; "his goal was the repression of insolence"

[hedgehog]

92. Note I said SOME sexual repression is good.

As Catholic, I have to tell you that the bishops and some priests are woefully lacking in their understanding of human sexuality. The rest of us tolerate them the same way so many tolerate senile realtives who hold to wrong attitudes that were socially acceptable in days gone by.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

97. What's The Difference

You want to repress some aspects of sexuality you don't like... The Catholic Church wants to repress some aspects of sexuality they don't like...

The only difference is their list is longer than your list is...

[hedgehog]

104. The difference is I'm right and they're wrong.

:)

[DemocratSinceBirth]

109. I Applaud You For Your Candor

eom

[mondo joe]

65. No, sexual repression is not good. To carry your analogy, anorexia is food repression.

Self control is great.

Discernment is wonderful.

Neither of those things is, per se, repression. Repression IS the extreme.

[BlooInBloo]

70. Do you have any idea what motivated the OP to equate self-control with repression?

Why would anyone do such an obviously idiotic thing?

[DemocratSinceBirth]

71. If I'm In A Meeting And I Leave Because I Have To Break Wind

Did I repress my right to fart?

[BlooInBloo]

74. You might want to think again before trying the semantic defense....

... (Hint: it's a REALLY bad one)

[DemocratSinceBirth]

81. I'm Sitting In A Meeting And My Mind Wanders

All of a sudden I have wood but rather than rub it out there I wait to get home...

That's self control not repression...


Is that better?

[BlooInBloo]

93. Aaahh... a graduate of the school of Repeat Falsity And It Becomes True....

.... summa cum laude, I presume?

[mondo joe]

78. I don't pretend to know why people do things. NT

[jeffrey_X]

68. one word: BALANCE

eom

[porphyrian]

72. "...the enjoyment of porn depends on the notion that sexual activity is bad."

That may be true for some, but not in general. Porn is simply a visual aid for masturbation and/or foreplay. People who tend towards visual stimulation tend to like porn.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

85. I Read That Women Are More Stimulated By Words, Men By Pictures...

eom

[porphyrian]

88. That's my understanding of our general wiring, though there is cross-over.

My best friend's wife is very visual. She'll watch horrible movies just for the promise of a glimpse of some hunk's naked ass. She also enjoys trashy romance novels, though.

I'd say there are also people who can't be turned on at all, sad as that may be.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

90. Our Emotions Are Not One Hundred Percent Consonant With Our Gender

That's why I find these discussions so infernal...What's right for you may not be right for me or vice versa...

[porphyrian]

94. Part of the problem is that people think of gender as a binary...

...when evidence suggests it occurs along a spectrum.

Yes, binary generalizations often cause more problems than they solve.

[Yavin4]

75. All of the Sudden, I Really Want Some Peaches

Hey, is this some sort of paid subliminal advertising post? Are you working for the peach growers of America?

[hedgehog]

106. I've been buying fresh ripe peaches all month from the stand

two houses down. These peaches are picked daily a mile from here. They are so soft they pick up dents just sitting in a basket ands so moist the juices run down your chin and so sweet that adding sugar would be an affront.

My peaches are what sex is about; your porn is nothing but canned peaches in heavy syrup with added chemicals to preserve color.

[Tsiyu]

136. Okay that is the most pornographic

description of peaches i have ever read. :P

Eat a peach!


As for your OP, I get what you're saying. I have been so repulsed by Southern men, for example, because I was living in Georgia, where many men just say the most disgusting things to women and mysogyny is the State Religion.

Those Georgia men I knew for 30 years do not "repress" themselves one iota and it can be frightening for a 5' tall, 100 lb woman to have to deal with the behavior of boorish, cruel men. There are nice guys in Georgia - and some on these boards - but there are also a lot of not so nice ones.

Now I am in a very rural place in Tennessee and the men here are just not raised to run off at the mouth to women or to threaten women. The men here have a tremendous respect for women. It almost makes me tear up here, but seriously, just to be treated like a human being - because this society demands that people speak with respect and kindness to each other - has made a huge difference in my life.

I wonder how it would be for all women if they could have the self-confidence that comes with not being talked down to all one's life?

Now some might say I seek to limit the free speech of men who want to come up to me as a stranger and say something innappropriate. But that something inappropriate often frightens me, or disgusts me, and I have the right to say i don't like it and to live somewhere where men show more self-control.

I can't force men in society to treat women well. Can't legislate it. Can't even convince some men why they should have to be kind to a "lower life form" such as my female self.

But I know that men don't have to act that way, (this is just one example of people who have no self-control) and i wonder what causes their poor behavior and attitude?

Perhaps it's that this sort of treatment of women is accepted in georgia? How does a culture get to that place? I was initially raised in "Iroquois territory" in Upstate NY. There seemed to be much more cultural respect for women there as well.

What factors make one culture lack self control? What factors cause another culture to display self control in a given area?

Do "rules" ingrain habits?

Just thinking out loud...

[Elspeth]

135. Yeah, they sound good.

:)

[SayWhatYo]

111. When's the next DU orgy.... :D

I never get invited to these things....

[hedgehog]

116. It's not our fault if you've put the porn threads on ignore!

:)

[SayWhatYo]

123. I was starting porn threads when starting porn threads wasn't considered cool... :P

but not really... I wish I was though.

[Elspeth]

133. Actually, Freud's theory of repression is also based on his misreading of real molestation victims

Anna O, his most famous case, was molested as a kid. Unable to take the woman's real allegations seriously (what else is new?), Freud decided that her memories were really just childhood repressions of infantile sexual desires.

Fortunately for Anna O, she left Freud's "treatment" and went to clinic where, it seems, they finally believed her.

See the book "Freud and Cocaine" for the reference and for lots of other Freudian slip-ups.

[Elspeth]

134. Freud and Cocaine (1983)

http://www.amazon.com/Freud-Cocaine-E-M-Thornton/dp/B000RV345A/ref=sr_1_1/104-7593352-1747907?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1188002516&sr=8-1

The book is now out of print, but it was a great critique.