Please! Allow me to remind my fellow DUers that it's demeaning ...

[TahitiNut]

... to most of us 'Nuts' to associate us with psychopaths like Ted Nugent. Using the word 'nuts' as an epithet, as though it's a Bad Thing™, is insensitive to the keen feelings and heightened sensibilities of some good folks, many of whom are DUers. I'm a loud and proud Nut!

:silly:

* This is a public service posting on behalf of the International Association of Fruits & Nuts, Ad Hoc DU Chapter.


My apologies to possible dissent from 1plain1peanut, AcadamiaNut, aquanut, B3Nut, blackwalnut, bozosleftnut, bulugnut, butternut, Canadiangunnut, Carnut, CA_liberal_nut, conspiracy-nut, darlademnut, donut, econut, elvisthenut, fordnut, gaygunnut, GnomesLeftNut, graphixnut, hazelnut, HealthNut, Historynut, Jacknut, JaneDoughnut, konominut, leftwingnut, LeftyWingNut, Lefty_WingNut, Letters From A Nut, liberalgunnut, lilpnut, Lugnut, MilsurpNut, monolithic_juggernut, Mr Peanut, Mr. Peanut, mrpeanut, numinut, Nutboy, nutcase, nutgrass, nuthatch, Nutmeg, NutMeg021576, Nutmeg1576, Nutmeg61, Nutmegger, NutmegJenny, NutmegYankee, Nutniks, nuton2wheels, nutone, Nuts, nuts101, nutsco101, NutterFluffer, NuttinBut, NuttyFluffers, nuttywoody, oaknut, Opera Nut, ornanut, peanut, peanut57, peanutz, PoliSciNut, PolitiNut, PublicHealthNut, publichealthnut1, Racenut20, somenut, Soynut, spacenut, superbeachnut, the wingnuttiest, tofunut, videonut, weenut1, Wingnut19, Wingnutblogger, Wingnutsawry, wwwalnut, and yoganut.

[BlooInBloo]

1. To all the nuts of the world, let me be the first to offer my apologies.

[TahitiNut]

2. For myself, and on behalf of my colleagues, I thank you for your kind consideration.

:hi:

Many of us are committed. :silly:

[WillyT]

21. And Many Of Us Should Be...

:bounce::silly::bounce:

[EFerrari]

47. Shhh! You'll start a rush for the door.

:rofl:

[Cha]

64. Totally!

[baldguy]

3. Stop insulting psychopaths like that!

:P

[TahitiNut]

8. Indeed! Those of the Axis II usually avoid any association with us Axis I folks.

Many of us are quite committed ... even though often unable to reach a keyboard due to our (cough) 'choice' of fashion in jackets.
:silly:

[Junkdrawer]

4. And I suppose "Batshit Crazy" is demeaning to rodent scat?

:shrug:

[seemslikeadream]

7. Batshit Crazy?

Oh I thought you said bathshit crazy

[TahitiNut]

11. For that, I'd have to consult the Colonel.

[Junkdrawer]

13. Bat Guano....

:rofl:

[brentspeak]

60. "I think you're some kinda deviated prevert."

[TahitiNut]

66. "You're gonna have to answer to the Coca-Cola company."

Prophetic words, those. The Colonel was a celluloid Cassandra. :silly:

[H2O Man]

5. Do not let

the left nut know what the right nut is doing.

[TahitiNut]

9. No conscientious left nut would 'descend' to that level, I'm sure.

:silly: They're at another level entirely.

[Jamastiene]

37. I thought it was grab your left

nut, make the right nut jealous. :evilgrin:

[H2O Man]

54. That's from the

Old Testicle, which speaks of a jealous nut. I was quoting from the New testicle.

[Cha]

65. Omg..you guys are

funny..need to laugh hysterically about this so I won't get depressed!

[TahitiNut]

69. "Then their father Israel said to them, ..."

"Then their father Israel said to them, 'If it must be, then do this: Put some nuts in the bags and take them down to the man as a gift" (Genesis 43:11)

... then God gave us bicycles and man discovered pain. :cry: :nopity:

[Horseradish]

74. and then ...

... Texans got air-conditioning and here we are.

[Demeter]

6. I Like Nuts

Trout almandine, cashew chicken, pistaccio baklava, pecan brownies, walnut fudge....I should have eaten before going on line....

[SaveAmerica]

10. Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't...

Mounds got nuts

[Hepburn]

12. .....

:rofl:

[BlooInBloo]

16. Mounds DON'T!!!

[maddezmom]

38. my fav halloween buy, guess it's alway left over for ME!

[SaveAmerica]

14. You, sir, deserve an award for your DU'ers nut list, how did I miss that?

For attention to detail and preserving the integrity of nuts everywhere:

[TahitiNut]

20. A little bit of SQL knowledge can be a dangerous thing.

:silly:

[DemReadingDU]

22. Mr. Peanut!

I love that dancing Mr. Peanut commercial to the tune of Saturday night by the Bay City Rollers:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOLjO1qttLA

[CrispyQ]

56. Yes! There were lot's of smiles reading that list!

Love your Mr. Peanut! They've had some really clever commercials recently.

BTW, years ago I knew a man who ate the entire peanut, shell & all. Have you ever seen that?

[The Straight Story]

15. I hate when people demean my nuts

:rofl:

[DemReadingDU]

17. We're all nuts

Walnuts, filberts, pecans, cashews, hazelnuts

:)

[TahitiNut]

18. We're all fruits and nuts (and few flakes) who bring dough to make the DU fruitcake.

:silly: ... and can't make do without some hot air.

Struttin' naked through the crosswalk
In the middle of the week

[shireen]

19. proud to be a nut

and a fruitcake.
:silly: :bounce: :silly: :bounce: :silly: :bounce: :silly: :bounce: :silly: :bounce:

[WillyT]

23. Hey !!! - What About Us Fruitcakes ???

Fruitcakes
By: jimmy buffett, amy lee
1994

--spoken:
You know I was talking to my friend desdemona the other day she
Runs this space station and bake shop down near boomtown. she told
Me that human beings are flawed individuals. the cosmic bakers
Took us out of the oven a little too early. and thats the
Reason were as crazy as we are and I believe it.

Take for example when you go to the movies these days, you know.
They try to sell you this jumbo drink, 8 extra ounces of watered
Down cherry coke for an extra 25 cents. I dont want it.
I dont want that much organziation in my life.
I dont want other people thinking for me.
I want my junior mints. where did the junior mints go in the
Movies. I dont want a 12 lb. nestles crunch for 25 dollars. i
Want junior mints.

We need more fruitcakes in this world and less bakers!
We need people that care! Im mad as hell! and I dont want to
Take it anymore!

Chorus:
Fruitcakes in the kitchen (fruitcakes in the kitchen)
Fruitcakes on the street (fruitcakes on the street)
Struttin naked through the crosswalk
In the middle of the week
Half-baked cookies in the oven (cookies in the oven)
Half-baked people on the bus (people on the bus)
Theres a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us

Paradise, lost and found
Paradise, take a look around
I was out in california where I hear they have it all
They got riots, fires, mud slides
Theyve got sushi in the mall
Water bars, brontasaurs, chinese modern lust
Shake and bake life with the quake
The secrets in the crust

Chorus:
Fruitcakes in the kitchen (fruitcakes in the kitchen)
Fruitcakes on the street (fruitcakes on the street)
Struttin naked through the crosswalk
In the middle of the week
Half-baked cookies in the oven (cookies in the oven)
Half-baked people on the bus (people on the bus)
Theres a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us

--spoken:
Speakin of fruitcakes, how bout the government?
Your tax dollars at work.

We lost our martian rocket ship
The high paid spokesman said
Looks like that silly rocket ship
Has lost its cone shaped head
We spent 90 jillion dollars trying to get a look at mars
I hear universal laughter ringing out among the stars

Chorus:
Fruitcakes in the galaxy (fruitcakes in the galaxy)
Fuitcakes on the earth (fruitcakes on the earth)
Struttin naked towards eternity
Weve been that way since birth
Half-baked cookies in the oven (cookies in the oven)
Half-baked people on the bus (people on the bus)
Theres a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us

--spoken:
Religion! religion! oh, theres a thin line between saturday
Night and sunday morning. here we go now.
Alright, alter boys.

Mea culpa mea culpa mea maxima culpa
Mea culpa mea culpa mea maxima culpa

Wheres the church, who took the steeple
Religion is in the hands of some crazy-ass people
Television preachers with bad hair and dimples
The gods honest truth is its not that simple
Its the buddhist in you, its the pagan in me
Its the muslim in him, shes catholic aint she?
Its the born again look its the wasp and the jew
Tell me whats goin on, I aint gotta clue

--spoken:
Now here comes the big ones. relationships! we all got em, we
All want em. what do we do with em?
Here we go, Ill tell ya.

She said you gotta do your fair share
Now cough up half the rent
I treat my body like a temple
You treat yours like a tent
But the right word at the right time
May get me a little hug
Thats the difference between lightning
And a harmless lightnin bug

Chorus:
Fruitcakes in the kitchen (fruitcakes in the kitchen)
Fruitcakes on the street (fruitcakes on the street)
Struttin naked through the crosswalk
In the middle of the week
Half-baked cookies in the oven (cookies in the oven)
Half-baked people on the bus (people on the bus)
Theres a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us

--spoken:
The future. captains log, stardate two thousand and something.

Were seven years from the millenium
Thats a science fiction fact
Stanley kubrick and his buddy hal
Now dont look that abstract
So Ill put on my bob marley tape
And practice what I preach
Get jah lost in the reggae mon
As I walk along the beach
Stay in touch with my insanity really is the only way
Its a jungle out there kiddies
Have a very fruitful day
Hey.

Chorus:
Fruitcakes in the kitchen (fruitcakes in the kitchen)
Fruitcakes on the street (fruitcakes on the street)
Struttin naked through the crosswalk
In the middle of the week
Half-baked cookies in the oven (cookies in the oven)
Half-baked people on the bus (people on the bus)
Theres a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us

--spoken:
Thats right, you too. yeah those crumbs are spread all around
This universe. Ive seen fruitcakes. I saw this guy in santa
Monica rollerskate naked through the crosswalk. down in new
Orleans in the french market there are fruitcakes like you cannot
Believe. new york, forget it. fruitcake city. down island, weve got
Fruitcakes. spread them crumbs around. thats right, we want
em around. keep bakin baby. keep bakin.

:silly:

[SalmonChantedEvening]

24. I could cashew right now :)

:D :hi:

[WillyT]

25. Groooooaaannnn.... LOL !!!

That was good!

Hey Salmon!

:hi:

[SalmonChantedEvening]

28. Tis thee tis thee, tis WillyT!!

Sup Holmes? :hi: :pals:

[CatWoman]

26. BWAHAHAHAHA

:rofl:

[SalmonChantedEvening]

31. :)

:hi: :hug: :loveya:

[eridani]

27. That is acorny pun. Cut it out. n/t

[SalmonChantedEvening]

29. Oak A.

:)

[TahitiNut]

33. Well, no offense but I'd rather macadamia.

:silly: :dunce:

[SalmonChantedEvening]

36. I walnut speak of it again

^5 TH :D

[smoogatz]

30. Well, if we call him an "asshole,"

aren't we pretty much demeaning everyone who has an anus?

[TahitiNut]

32. Well, there's a difference between having an asshole and BEING an asshole.

Just as there's a difference between having a dog and being a dog. I have a nut (two, actually - checking - yep) and AM a nut.

:silly:

[Beetwasher]

40. Hey!

I'm an asshole, but I ain't no Ted Nugent! Us assholes don't like being grouped w/ that scumbag Nugent!

[sarcasmo]

34. I prefer to call my self side door crazy, instead of a nut.

We are all crazy, the difference to me is are you front door or side door crazy.

[TahitiNut]

35. Like Carlos Castaneda? Well, while I aspire to bing side-door crazy,

... I'm still crawling in through the milk chute. :silly:

[sarcasmo]

41. I drive Taxi for a living and we take a lot of Mental Patients to their appointments.

I picked up a women one morning who told me that she wasn't going in the front door because she was side door crazy not front door crazy. I waited for the Doctor to show up and told him the story, he got a chuckle and said thanks for waiting for him. I didn't want her getting lost in the woods on the grounds.
Just remember, we all have a little crazy, it's just how much crazy do we have in us.
FYI, she went in the front door with the Doctor.

[Swamp Rat]

43. That was nice of you to wait.

:)

[sarcasmo]

44. Didn't want to read about her lost in the woods.

I can usually tell when they are front door crazy.

[TahitiNut]

48. Well, my variety of legume goes through the window that the Chief smashed.

:silly:

[yewberry]

39. Thank you, brother.

Gooooooo, Nuts!

[TahitiNut]

46. It's contagious.

Eleven Twelve recommendations proves it. :headbang: :silly:

[Swamp Rat]

42. Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don't.

TahitiNut's got nuts. Ted don't. :D

[mzmolly]

49. Darn, beat me to it!

Suddenly I'd kill for an almond joy. ;)

[illinoisprogressive]

45. bravo

[madeline_con]

50. We do not hold a nut monopoly. n/t

[TahitiNut]

57. True. But not everyone can be a Nut. It takes something special.

Sanity is overrated. Dali was a prophet. Robin Williams is a guru. Seeing the visible is ordinary - seeing the invisible is a gift. What is essential is invisible to the eye.

"All that we are is a result of what we have thought." — Buddha

"Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination. " — Lily Tomlin

"I am all that I can be."

[Mythsaje]

51. He's not a nut

He's a psycho-asshole...

That's psycho, not psychic. ;)

[NuttyFluffers]

52. sometimes i feel like a nut, and i approve this message

i also like Almond Joy candy bars. :freak:

[TahitiNut]

58. Nutz RuleZ!

:silly:

[Warren DeMontague]

53. Ted Nugent's Nuts.

I don't want to think about Ted Nugent's Nuts.

The loincloth is bad 'nough.

[symbolman]

55. like the kind cab driver posted here

and I've done that job as well' during the building of the Pipeline in Alaska in the 70's - I was hired to work in an insane asylum after Nam..

It really made me wonder about Sanity, what it was, if it was even real or just some kind of Social Construct, an Agreement between peers..

Well, after meeting some mighty interesting folks, I came to the conclusion, and I didn't treat them any differently than the average asshole in the street, which they appreciated - that the only difference between me and the nuts, was that *I* had a Key, and could go home at 3 o'clock :)

I once snuck backstage at a Nugent concert, and lo and behold there he was, sitting at a picnic table in a private room, ON the table I mean, as I filled a plate with free stage food and slid behind him..

Under his sweatshirt I could make out the curves of a very large calibre pistol, so after some small talk about his mother, I asked about the gun..

He said that some of his fans were a bit too excitable, too enamored of him..

I thought about it for a second, then said, "But, Jesus Christ, man, you're gonna fucking SHOOT Them?!"

He scraped a thumb along his eye, and knodded, showing me his rotten, snagly teeth.. And I got thrown out, the Bum's Rush not much longer after that.. :)

I see he's still a major mindless asshole.. Btw, any of you older folks like me can remember his DRUGGIE days quite easily, back there with the Amboy Dukes, and his "Journey to the Center of your Mind" ..

Looks like HIS has a Creamy Center :)

[skids]

59. What about the flakes?

...how can you have a International Association without the whole granola?

[TahitiNut]

61. Well, they fall from the sky in the winter ... and are as vast as all humanity.

... or as half-vast. :rofl: We're all flakes ... every one unique.

[Liberal In Texas]

62. Sometimes you feel like a nut, and sometimes...

well, you don't.

[Cha]

63. What would you(being a nut)

suggest we call mr ted/my 1/2 brain cell left is fried/nugent?

[TahitiNut]

67. A hemorrhoid on the ass of humanity.

I have no problem demeaning hemorrhoids. :shrug: They don't have a lobby. :dunce: Besides, I sympathize with the asses. :silly:

[Cha]

68. They might not have a lobby butt

they certainly have a Hobby!

[underseasurveyor]

70. What about the poor Kola-nut

No one thinks of the poor kola-nut:shrug:
Always the bridesmaid never the bride:cry:

[Rex]

71. Better watch out! You will get a bowl full of nuts

as your comeuppance! Beware! :crazy:

[TahitiNut]

73. We get many bowls full of Nuts right around New Years.

:silly:

[Jamastiene]

72. Wow, you are as nucking futs as I am.

:crazy: :hi:

[lonestarnot]

75. A nut and a star!

:crazy: