Shadow's Taxicab Reports: Huge hearts and hopeless causes

[shadowknows69]

The encounter that is the subject of this column took place approximately nine months to a year ago.

“They have such huge hearts. Such huge, huge hearts.” The E-7 said to me through tears that I could hear forming in his shaky voice.

The pick up was a standard lounge grab at one of the classier places in Watertown and I wouldn’t have guessed that the solitary man entering my taxi was a soldier. He was dressed better, maybe just “older” than most of my military fares and his hair much longer than 90% of the troops we usually get from the barracks.

The ride begins.

His status as a soldier was obvious soon enough as his destination was off post military housing and being a friendly and open customer he quickly volunteered that and much more.

“How is your night going tonight sir?” He asked me in an infectious pleasant tone.

I wasn’t really in the mood for a deep conversation at the time; the night having been a bit weirder than usual and it was still early, but, as always, the Shadow abides professionally.

“Can’t complain sir. Keeping it on the road as they say. You’re stationed at Drum I take it?”

“Not exactly. I’m actually just back from Afghanistan for a few days, for a funeral unfortunately.”

“Shit, I’m sorry. For a soldier?” I asked.

“No, actually my wife’s mother died and I’m back for that, but I just found out that while I’ve been back I lost four guys directly under my command in my platoon. I should have been there with them”

His guilt over this was a sudden and palpable force in the cab. I made myself observe the anguish on his face I knew would be there when he said these words. I also tried to offer my usual useless wisdom.

“You can’t fault yourself sir; things could happen just as easily if you were there.”

“You’re right” He conceded “It still isn’t easy. These guys in the 10th have such huge hearts. I’ll tell you what. They’re kicking the shit out of the enemy over there that’s for sure. You guys get a lot of business from the base?”

“Oh hell, yes. Probably 60-80% of our business believe it or not”

“Do these guys treat you cabbies all right? I always tell my men they better respect you guys and show you respect. You’re providing them a great service. I mean troops are going to go have drinks anyway and you’re helping them get home safe.” He continued with genuine concern in his voice.

“Oh yeah, 99% of them are great. You get the occasional guys who are feeling a little froggy or belligerent but they usually have a few clearer headed buddies with them that keep them out of trouble. The ones I get alone sometimes dump some pretty scary stories on me. Some flat out use me like a priest. Needless to say I’ve gained immense respect for what you guys are going through over there.”

This seemed to upset him greatly, “No, they shouldn’t do that. I’m sorry.

“No, honestly sir, if I can help any of these guys by offering even an ear for a few minutes I actually feel honored too. Least I can do and all that; literally.”

His position on this seemed to almost change instantly as if he needed this service as well.

“Really, ok then, just us sitting here alone then right? One thing you learn pretty quickly in Afghanistan is that anyone on the side of the road could kill you.”

“I can only imagine sir. I mean it’s not like the Taliban has official uniforms right?”

“Exactly, and that’s why it’s so hard that I lost these guys while I was here. They all have such huge hearts and it makes them careless sometimes and maybe if I’d been along on the patrol...” At this point he kind of trailed off and stared off out the window.

“I barely consider myself part of the 10th. I mean I’m an e-7 so I basically command a platoon but these guys do the hard work and they do it well. We’re kicking the hell out of the enemy there.”

I agreed that I’m sure we were. This wasn’t the ride to inject my personal feelings about things so I left it and played my part with ears wide open and heart aching.

“They have such huge hearts. Such huge, huge hearts.” The E-7 said to me through tears that I could hear forming in his shaky voice.

“But how can you not? I’ll give you an example. As I said, you learn to observe everything as a potential threat. From a farmer’s caravan to kids on the street.” His demeanor started to get more agitated and sadder by the word and I felt guilty for drawing this out of him.

“I was on patrol once and we were on a pretty busy stretch of road and kids and people would come up to us occasionally but obviously we had to warn them away. Sadly we’ve even had some bad incidents with civilians who didn’t comply in time as well. Well we came upon this little girl on the side of the road at one point, waving at us weakly. It didn’t look like she had much to eat lately. Now I knew this girl could have just as likely been strapped with a bomb but I couldn’t pass her by. I stopped my humvee and gave her a candy bar I had. As an E-7 this was a pretty bad example to set for my troops but I…I have a daughter just this girls age. How could I not stop?”

He was nearly openly weeping by now and I just drove on nearly in tears myself and just said, “I hear you sir. I don’t think I could either.”

“The troops are all great though. They have such huge huge hearts.”

“Do you think we can win it though? Are we making progress?” Being the subject was breached I had to try some of my standard questions.

“In Afghanistan absolutely. We’re beating the shit out of the enemy. These guys have such huge, huge hearts. Things could definitely be better in Iraq”

We pull up to his destination finally and I approach one more subject that I’ve been asking a lot about lately.

“I have to ask sir, just as a citizen if nothing more, in your opinion are we going to war with Iran? I’d understand if you can’t answer, in fact I always discourage the troops from telling me anything they’d have to kill me for later”

He actually got a chuckle out of that and the mood lightened for a brief second and then he looked me straight in the eye and with a stone cold face just said. “Oh absolutely”

I thanked him for his service and once again gave my condolences for his mother-in-law and his lost brothers in arms. The ride ends. Such huge hearts, such huge, huge hearts.

Caught in a hopeless cause.

Will that ride ever end? Tip your cabbie.
Shadow out.

[The Vinyl Ripper]

1. I wonder what this means?

"Sadly we’ve even had some bad incidents with civilians who didn’t comply in time as well."

Nice post, I enjoyed reading it.

[shadowknows69]

2. I took it as he's had to kill some innocents

I felt that stopping for this girl was his hope for absolution for some of the horrors they've had to commit.

[tomreedtoon]

6. And the point is, every soldier must commit horrors.

The one good thing about recent war movies like Saving Private Ryan and Das Boot is that they make no bones about the cruelty necessary on the battleground.

I'd like to think that, after Vietnam and the way the vets were treated, we will be a little more considerate of the veterans of this war. Even if they suffer from PTSD and other horrors.

Let me correct that. I'd like to believe that people of liberal or progressive attitudes will be kind to the returning vets. But I'm not sure the Republicans will.

Think about it. The big canard about Vietnam was that the "liberals and hippies" made the Army lose the war by forcing a pullout. But in this war, there was no effective antiwar movement they can blame; Republicans and conservatives were in charge during the whole thing.

And naturally they can't take blame for anything. They can try to blame the Democrats, but since the Dems are so ineffective at doing anything, that won't wash. The only place the Republicans can shift the blame is on the soldiers.

I don't like to think about this happening, but I'll bet it will.

By the way, thanks again, Shadow. I think you're the greatest emotional writer on DU. Lots of others can produce facts, figures, arguments and philosophy. But your stories are all about people and what they go through. You never fail to move me.

[JHB]

20. They blamed vets after Vietnam, too

It's easy to forget, what with the Spin Machine grinding out the mythos of The Spitting Hippies, but some of the harshest treatment of Vietnam vets came from WW2 and Korea vets: snide "It wasn't a REAL war", "we WON our war" comments, being shut out of chapters of the VFW and American Legion, etc. That little slice of ugliness tends to be very conveniently forgotten.

[sanskritwarrior]

27. But without facts and figures

they are just stories.......And I'm sure I'll be the bad guy for poking holes in this story, won't be the first time and I guarantee it won't be the last time...........

[shadowknows69]

30. Was I supposed to ask this guy if he's had to gun down children?

I'm drawing my own conclusions from what I heard.

[sanskritwarrior]

38. Not at all

however given DU's history with people faking stories, don't feel bad when someone with experience smells something off about a story......

[shadowknows69]

40. Am I getting paid for this?

WHy the fuck would I bother to put the time in writing shit that depresses the hell out of me an most people that read it just to throw out lies. I assure I'm not that much of an attention whore.

[sanskritwarrior]

42. Huh?

I didn't accuse you of anything. I said the story was off and gave reasons why it could be off........

[shadowknows69]

43. delete and disregard

too early for me skrit. We cool. Sorry man.

[sanskritwarrior]

45. It is a possibility

there are several, I would dishonest if I did not include all possible reasons why the story sounds off. I have not accused you of anything, I have said it is possible you are to blame, just like the guy might have lied, just like you might have misheard the story.

[The Vinyl Ripper]

8. Had to?

Or chose to?

[shadowknows69]

9. I'm betting had to.

I can't judge some of these guys and girls. Sometimes when a car is racing toward your check point and they won't stop they just have to open fire. It's the ROE they operate under. I'm not saying it makes the killing of civilians right of course but I've never been to war so I definitely won't be the one to cast the first stone.

[John Q. Citizen]

13. I don't expect there is a lot of chosing at least in the rational sense.

I'm agnostic but - by the grace of god go i...

or as Leonard Cohen wrote:
......
And if you call me brother
excuse me if I enquire
just according to whose plan?

When it all come down to dust,
I will kill you if i must,
I will help you if I can

When it all comes down to dust
I will help you if I must
I will kill you if I can

Man of peace or man of war
Have mercy on our uniforms
the peacock spreads it's fan


I guess what I'm saying is when we (as a country) stick a bunch of people into an incredibly fucked up situation, where fear and adrenaline are constants, then we can only expect that some incredibly fucked up things are going to happen. I have a hard time judging the people we send. Undoubtably, a tiny percentage may be sociopaths, and some people lose it from the fear and adrenaline. But aren't we as a country just as guilty or even more so than those who we send?

And yes, as a country, we chose to...

[SeattleGirl]

3. Thank you, Shadow

I enjoy your stories, even the ones that are rather sad.

[givemebackmycountry]

4. “Oh absolutely”

That's scary shit there Shadow...

I'm really starting to get scared about what these evil bastards have planned for us next.

[shadowknows69]

5. I've been one of the bigger prophets of doom

when it comes to a potential Iran attack because I've heard it right from the troop's mouths. Particularly a SGT.First Class but I've been hearing it for almost 2 years now. I wonder why the delay or if it was always meant to go down around election time.

[ConsAreLiars]

7. I always look for and read your mini-essays.

You do such a great job of letting us hear the voices of your rides. Just their worlds as they attempt to understand and express it. A parallel might be Studs Terkel, although your "interviews" are much shorter. But they also tell a small bit of their stories if the first person, and you write it in a way we can hear them.

(edit, as usual, because it it always something and I forgot to preview)

[shadowknows69]

10. I wish I had an opportunity for longer and in depth interviews.

my average time with these guys was about 10 minutes though and I'm also doing this little hunt for knowledge incognito so it takes longer to get to the meat of the matter.

[John Q. Citizen]

14. I think you should publish a collection. I like your writing voice and your schtick.

How do you remember the conversations? Do you ever get a piece writen and then a few days later recall a portion that wasn't in the original?

i guess what I'm asking is what is your method?

[shadowknows69]

16. I just remember them

I've stated before that I won't quote my subjects unless I'm 99% sure of the quote. This one I've had for a while needless to say.

[shadowknows69]

22. I do remember a lot of details later too.

I put them in the mental notebook and if the book ever gets written (looking unlikely now but) that's when I'll use those additional things to fill in some gaps.

[sanskritwarrior]

25. Why?

look at my other post........

[EFerrari]

11. We have to prepare to take good care of these people when they come home.

It's not gonna be pretty.

(((((((((((((shadow and family))))))))))))

[Kali]

12. thanks

[Truth2Tell]

15. Always

a K & R for the Shadow.

peace brother

[blondie58]

17. thank you, Shadow

I also enjoy your posts, both positive and sad. You're almost like the proverbial "fly on the wall" and can get some honest replies from your passengers.

[Time for change]

18. Very interesting

I wonder why he felt the need to repeatedly mention the huge hearts of his men?

[shadowknows69]

21. That's what struck me about him the most

And I'm really not exagerating the number of times he used that phrase. He was fighting some pretty serious survivor guilt.

[sanskritwarrior]

26. Or he was lying to you

[shadowknows69]

28. Yeah because he'd have every reason to do that right?

I have a pretty good BS detector thanks for the concern Skrit. I have said before, any of these guys could be lying to me. Point is, why would they bother?

[sanskritwarrior]

36. The real question is

can you find 4 deaths from the same platoon in the last year in the 3rd Brigade Combat Team 10th Mountain Division?

I cannot. I can find 3 from the same Company in a 30 day period, but even that doesn't jive with the guy's story of just hearing about it. Emergency leave does not take a long time to get home for, especially for a funeral for a family member. And time after the death at home is less than two weeks on average. So for the guy to have just heard about 3 deaths in the same company over a 30 day period would mean that he was home for over a month, highly unlikely with an emergency leave situation.......I can run the numbers if you would like. Again this is not a flame shadow post, I also have an excellent BS detector from 13 years in the military, and I know when a story smells bad, and this story you told smells rotten given that 4 deaths in the sme platoon did not occur. The guy said "Directly under him in his platoon", there are not 4 guys from this Brigade from the same platoon that died during this rotation.........So one of you either said something untrue for unknown reasons or you heard it wrong........That's all man.

[shadowknows69]

39. I admit i could have heard it wrong

I swear he said four. I do appreciate your devotion to the accuracy of these things skrit but in the context of what these stories really represent: The personal, individual horror of the war experience. I just think you're knocking yourself out needlessly man. Perhaps this guy was including injuries in his statement. He only said he "lost four guys" not that they had died necessarily

[sanskritwarrior]

44. Man this is not directed at you

but this is why I throw my hands up in the air sometimes........

The truth of the numbers matter as much as the context. If the numbers are fudged all the time then this joins the lies that got us into this war, if we don't fact check vets that claim atrocities (Jessie Macbeth) then those lies join the lies that got us into this war. The numbers and stories and context must be verified if we are to maintain credibility. I feel I am doing anything but knocking myself out, I am fact checking people on stories that do not jive. I am not always right, but I know when a story sounds funny....The truth is what matters, and the truth includes numbers and context..........

[shadowknows69]

48. In the future I'll take this more into consideration

perhaps instead of directly quoting my passenger "I lost four guys while I've been back...." I could write it as:

My passenger indicated his unit had received several casualties while he was back.

I assure you if this ever goes into publication I will be more attentive to the accuracy thing. I'm not a stone, I am a tree. I can bend in winds that hail from wiser locations.

[Locrian]

19. so very sad...

Abney Park - Hush


I have marched,
for years on end.
My comrades fell,
as I defend,
The goals I set.
My armies fled,
fell as they ran,
trampled our dead.

Rush, back through the fields, I am hush,
All the ghosts of the dead are awake, I'm afraid

The ghost of comrades
Dead and gone
rise in my path
to do me wrong.
As wars are fought,
Armies abide.
Should I be tried,
For men who died?

Rush, back through the fields, I am hush,
All the ghosts of the dead are awake, I'm afraid

[lildreamer316]

23. Thanks, as always.

Incredible stuff. Thank you for your work.

[sanskritwarrior]

24. Shadow I so love these stories

but unless this story is several months or years old the 10th Mountain has not lost 4 guys from the same unit in quite a while......

In fact only one BCT of the 10th Mountain is in Afghanistan, the 3rd BCT, and it hasn't lost anyone in quite a while, so what gives bro?

Deaths for the 3rd BCT 10th Mountain Division in 2007 by Battalion

1st Battalion 32nd Infantry Regiment 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division= 2

03/29/07 Wilson, Christopher M. Specialist 24 US U.S. Army 1st BN, 32nd Infantry Reg, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division -Hostile - hostile fire - bomb Korengal Outpost Afghanistan

04/11/07 Hernandez, Edelman L. Sergeant 23 US U.S. Army 1st BN, 32nd Infantry Reg, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division -Non-hostile Korengal Valley Afghanistan

2nd Battalion 87th Infantry Regiment 3rd Brigade Combat Team 10th Mountain Division= 1

04/28/07 Greene, Jeremy R. Corporal 24 US U.S. Army 2nd BN, 87th Infantry Reg, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division - Non-hostile FOB Tillman, Afghanistan

3rd Squadron 71st Cavalry Regiment 3rd Brigade Combat Team 10th Mountain Division= 0

4th Battalion 25th Field Artillery Regiment 3rd Brigade Combat Team 10th Mountain Division= 0

710th Brigade Support Battalion 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division= 0

3rd Brigade Special Troops Battalion= 0

Nomenclature for the 3rd BCT 10th Mountain Division can be found here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Afghanistan_War_order_of_battle#United_States

Deaths of personnel in OEF can be found here

http://www.icasualties.org/oef/Afghanistan.aspx

If one knows the Fort Drum units and one knows how to use the database, one can conclude your story is less than true unless it is more than one year old.........

If that is the case you should have said so. In fact the last 10th Mountain Division soldier to die in Afghanistan was April 28th 2007, the last 2 deaths for the 10th Mountain being Noncombatant deaths. The last hostile death for the 10th Mountain was March 29th. In fact the only time there were 4 deaths in a one week period attributed to the 10th Mountain was from 10/31/06-11/06/06 when 4 soldiers from 3 different units died.........And even that is a stretch because why would the E-7 (same rank as myself) say he lost 4 guys in his platoon? The 10th Mountain lost 5 soldiers from the 1st Battalion 32nd Infantry Regiment in the month of October 2006, however the 5 guys killed were not in the same company let alone the same platoon.


These 2 were in the same company

http://www.drum.army.mil/sites/installation/pao/releases/newsItem.asp?id=2006/0610-10

http://www.drum.army.mil/sites/installation/pao/releases/newsItem.asp?id=2006/0610-17




But these two (plus one more) were in Bravo company and one was a Major, so that kind of rules that out too.......

http://www.drum.army.mil/sites/installation/pao/releases/newsItem.asp?id=2006/0611-03 <---one of the 3 was in A company, but that isn't 4 and this was October 2006.

Furthermore if this story is older than one year then SERIOUS talk of invading Iran had just sprung up. So my questions are this:

Who are the 4 mysterious soldiers of the 10th Mountain Division that have yet to be added to the casualty tracker? If they are real where are their names?

Did you just mishear the man's story?

Did the man lie to you?

I do not want to claim anything nefarious on your part but this is the third time you and I have had this dance where you claim something and I go and look for the casualty notice only to find no such casualties exist..........So I am not going to scream shenaningans but it is strange that this is becoming a pattern.

Discuss...........

[shadowknows69]

29. Perhaps if you had read the first line in the story

Where it said this encounter happened at least 9 months to a year ago. I don't ask for the names of casualties or their bloody dogs tags man. I have always said these reports are the verbatim conversations I have. Words from the troops mouths. Exageration and hyperbole from them is indeed a distinct possiblility. You want to do the research to validate their claims or not have at it. I'm trying to post visceral emotional stories that I've heard. This guys tears were real, that's all I know for sure.

[shadowknows69]

31. And not for nothing Skrit?

And I wouldn't want to call shennanigans, but are you willing to offer indisputable proof of who you are and your credentials? How do we know you're any more truthful than any of the people in my stories? Yes casualty counts can be verified. Can you be?

[sanskritwarrior]

34. Anyone with an AKO account can verify me, but of course that would

mean giving away my real name, not exactly something I am kosher with, especially given my clearance level. As I have always said when we deploy again late this yearm I will post all the pics anyone can want of my and my buddies from Iraq...... Why so defensive all of a sudden? I am not attacking you per se, I am attacking stories that sound untrue, I scan the casualty lists everyday for my friends names and I would remember 4 10th Mountain division soldiers killed near the same time in the same unit within the last year.

So my interest is to the truth, and in this case it appears that the truth is that this story is incorrect, whether or not it is you, him or somewhere in between this story does not pan out given the time frame.

Nine Months ago would be December 2006 January 2007, there are not 4 deaths from the same company, or same battalion.

12 months ago would be late September-Late October 2007, granted there were 4 deaths in the same unit in one month, but not the same platoon, not even the same company and one was a Major, while one was a Medic on loan from HHC...........

Sorry but if the repugs don't get away with less than totally true stories, why don't we hold ourselves up to the same standard.

[shadowknows69]

35. Well you'll be pleased to know then

that this is pretty much the last one I'm ever going to do anyway. I'm done with them. Been saving this one for the last one because I felt it was a good metaphor for the whole mess in general. I don't drive on base anymore because I can't take hearing the stories anymore. True or not.
S

[sanskritwarrior]

37. Ok

good for you. Thanks.

[sanskritwarrior]

32. Yes I do want to do the research

because even 9 months to a year ago it makes no sense, the 10th Mountain has not had 4 deaths from the same platoon in the last year......It has not happened. And yes I would expect you to do a little fact checking because your stories while entertaining have on 3 occasions now been proven as false. That doesn't make you a liar, but I would hope you would do a little checking before posting said information.......I will continue to do the research, not necessarily for your sake but for the sake of truth. In the case of this SFC he was either exagerrating, lying, or you misheard the story or something worse.......those are the 4 outcomes.

[shadowknows69]

33. Well believe and research whatever you need to

but if you're trying to destroy my credibility as a writer I've given you no such ammunition to do so. What part of "I am posting verbatim conversations with troops" don't you get. People like you who want to can verify their words if you want to but I have made no claim of accuracy about anything I post except what I witness with my eyes and hear with my ears. Frankly I don't have the time or inclination to validate every "fact" these guys tell me. That was never really the point of relating these stories anyway. Mostly it was self-therapy to dump the nightmares I was having that weren't even mine.

[sanskritwarrior]

41. Why on earth would I

want to destroy your credibility? I thought you and I were cool?

The whole point is and I hope it isn't lost on you is that stories like this that are ultimately proven untrue do hurt credibility. I'm trying to help you, not hurt you, that's why I did it very low key and very politely. I could have made a whole separate thread where I "exposed you" :eyes: but that is not my goal. My goal is the truth, if the truth means I am wrong I apologize and move on, if the truth means you are wrong, I would hope for the same. The whole point is a story that is hard to believe should be questioned, it appears from this thread that I was the only one that smelled something off. I think we have established that there were not four deaths in the same platoon within the 10th Mountain from this rotation given the time frame. That means one of four things:

1. You misheard the story and misquoted it

2. The guy lied for whatever reason

3. You are being less than true

4. The government is hiding casualty figures

Those are the 4 outcomes that I come up with, I am not accusing you of anything per se, I am saying that the story the guy told you if you are reporting it truthfully is not true given the casualty figures for the 3rd BCT 10th Mountain Division. End of story.

I'm trying to help dude, not attack you.

[shadowknows69]

46. I'll take you at your word Skrit.

We're cool.

[sanskritwarrior]

47. One more thing shadow I am currently searching the reports again

and I cannot find 4 casualties from the same patrol for the 3rd Brigade for the entire rotation. I am going to go over it report by report as far as casualties are concerned but my first scan turned up the largest single casualty event from a patrol was 3 guys being casualties. That was 2 killed one wounded but from 2 different units........Also he said patrol so that rules out noncombatant deaths and leaves hostile fire and IED's should make my search easier, I will get back to you with results........Be cool.......

[shadowknows69]

49. The more I think about it skrit

this could very well have been over a year ago. It seems to me it may have been in summer or even early spring of 2006 because I thought at the time it was strange that this guy was even here because I'd heard of no homecomings recently. You and I will discuss more later. Sincerely, I have some things I'd like to bounce off you. Gotta get ready for work now.
S

[shadowknows69]

50. Things that make you go hmmm

Once again one of my threads despite having 14 recs doesn't show up in the greatest threads list by recs and is taken off the home page. Fuck it, I'll kick it anyway.

[shadowknows69]

51. and i'll boot it again

it's probably the last one I'm doing folks so if you missed it here it be.