She grew up in a mostly white small town.
And moved with her husband to a bigger town, and they built a house in a small hood. All white, conservative, and straight.
And while the terms she used at times we would frown upon, she did not mean them in a bad way.
When the first black family moved into the hood - she and her friend baked em a cake while others were protesting them and then moving out.
When a man moved in with his Asian wife and their half asian son - she told me to go down there and offer to help cut their grass. Which I did.
When we had one Jewish kid in our school, she encouraged me to be his friend and run the three legged race with him at a picnic. And she kept those photos of that race until she died.
When there was only one black kid in our school, she made sure he was in my class and we became friends. And she broke the race barrier there as well by cleaning the house of our principal, a black lady- when many others wanted her out because 99.9% of the kids in school were white.
When my best friend came out of the closest and was worried about it, she accepted him - when his own mom...well, she still does not know he is gay.
This woman was my mom.
Sure, she used some language we consider bigoted now, but that was what she grew up knowing. Her actions have spoken to me through the years though. When the chips were down, she rooted for the underdog - and her love shone so bright that many were affected by it.
Those who knew her called her mom, and she taught me more than anyone else ever did - that you don't treat others like shit because they are not like you in all ways. You are different than others, they from you, and at the end of it all how you treated others is the most telling.
The last time I saw her alive - she was in a hospital bed and delirious, and telling my dad to help her to save the baby who was caught in a pillow case. She saw me and snapped out of it - and told dad to send me home because I could not handle this. And he did.
Even to the end, she was looking out for others.
That was my mom.
And this is for her:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGOq-M1dFHw
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