"I'm not gay"; "I don't use hookers"; "I'm not a pedophile" -- We need a new category

[Bucky]

Let me be the first to agree with Larry Craig on this board. It's true; he's not really gay. All my gay friends can now relax: Larry Craig is not one of you. But don't panic DU heteros; Larry Craig doesn't swing our way either. Whew. And no, I'm not playing word games only to lead you on and then cop out and label him as bi, either. He's not bisexual OR homosexual OR heterosexual...

The truth is, Larry Craig has the same sexual orientation as just about every other hypocrite who's given us such delight around here lately. Larry Craig is a Republosexual. He's an active, practicing, dyed in the wool, card carrying member of the Republosexual Party. Heck, at this point he's leading the charge for the Republosexual Revolution.

Republosexuals, you see, don't get off on men or on women or on children or on New Orleans hookers smearing feces into their adult diapers after a good spanking. Nope, that's not the key to their hearts. Republosexuals are people who are sexually gratified only by practicing that which they profess to hate the most. And there's more of them out there than you're aware of.

Oh, sure we can all name David Vitter, Mark Foley, Jack Ryan, Henry Hyde, Dick Morris, Bob Livingston, Matthew Glavin, Newt Gingrich, Michael Flory, Edward Schrock, Jim West, Robert Packwood, Ted Haggard, and a host of other obviously sexual implosions among our right wing compatriots. But while the nature of their predilictions may all seem a quite varied--from Christian Coalition leader Beverly Russell sleeping with his step daughter to Johnson County Republican Party Chairman Sam Walls crossdressing to look like Polly Holliday--the reality is that only one thing turns their crank. These are men who are sexually aroused by hypocricy.



They don't get off to porn or whipping or reaming or step-children or even power. They get off to bastardizing everything they stand for. Or more properly, they get off to standing up and denouncing exactly what they themselves are.

And it's not just hypocricy about sex that drives them to orgiastic pleasures. Who denounced the drug culture of the 70s more than Rush Limbaugh? Who denounced moral decay more than million dollar loser Bill Bennet? What was this if not public masturbation? Or think about George Allen. He denied he was Jewish, denied he was Algerian, denied he was a racist. Sure, we all then saw video of him using a racial slur distinctive to the Algerian Jewish community. What you didn't see was him later cleaning the Bavarian Cream out of his boxer shorts--having just achieved a perfect trifecta of Republosexual gratification.

So don't get bogged down in trying to figure out which perversion the latest GOP hypocrite is really guilty of. They've all got the same orientation. They're Republosexuals.

(a note of thanks: This essay would not have been possible without the aid of the excellent research at Armchair Subversive website

[jonnyblitz]

1. "I never had sex with that woman". you left that one out. nt

[Myrina]

3. Correction: "... never had SEXUAL RELATIONS with ..."

:shrug:

[kestrel91316]

7. The subject is REPUBLICAN hypocrites, not Democrats who

have consensual sex but are NOT always shrilly harping about "family values".

Bill Clinton was a garden-variety philanderer who only owed an explanation and apology to his wife.

[Time for change]

24. What does that have to do with hypocrisy?

When somebody does something embarassing or even shameful or illegal and then lies about it, that's not hypocrisy unless they've made a point of lambasting and harassing other people for doing the same thing.

[shadowknows69]

2. Republosexual LMAO

Kick and freaking Rec. I'd like to nominate that for a DUzy as well.

[bejammin075]

35. How about "Hypocrosexual"

Has a nice ring to it as well.

[Junkdrawer]

4. A twist on Forbidden Fruit...I Forbid YOU Fruit....

Seriously, you got something there...

[enid602]

5. the one I'm REALLY afraid of . . .

'My boy didn't mean to start WWIII.' GHW Bush

[judaspriestess]

6. how about I'm not Human

I have no soul.

[UndauntedD]

8. Reterosexual

Heterosexual Christian by Republican rhetoric but not actions.

[sofa king]

34. I like that: Rhetorosexual

Unfortunately, I find it's a near-homonym with the term "retrosexual," and worse, now that I know what "retrosexual" means, it's time for me to come out of that closet.

[PurpleChez]

9. That's Mighty Funny!(TM)

What amazes me is how each one seems not to have learned from those that went before. They don't seem to think "well...maybe I SHOULDN'T go wookin' pa nub in the men's room at the community pool, seeing as how Senator Ladyboy (R-What Else?) just got popped for soliciting a blowie at that miniature golf course". Are they that convinced that the law doesn't apply to them, or are they just that stupid?

[Bucky]

10. You are obviously naive about the psychology of denial

I agree, tho. The failure to learn from others' mistakes is positively... neoconic. I can only guess that they deny the truth to others so vehemently that they start to convince themselves. There's a reason why Democrats fall to money scandals and Republicans fall for sex.

[ljm2002]

16. "There's a reason why Democrats fall to money scandals"...

..."and Republicans fall for sex."

I'm not sure what the reason is, though. 40 years ago, the common wisdom was that with Republicans it's always money scandals, and with Democrats it's always sex scandals. And that pattern did seem to hold...

Whereas now, I don't know if the converse holds. The Republican scandals are both about money (Abramoff, Cunningham, Stevens, e.g.) and about weird sex (don't know how else to describe diaper fetishes and cruising public restrooms). So it's weird. Took some getting used to. But at this point it seems like the normal state of affairs.

I suppose the reason for the rampant corruption in the Republican party right now, is the same as it ever was: power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. The GOP was getting might close there to absolute power. Too bad, looks like that isn't working out for them. Great for the rest of us though.

[PurpleChez]

25. Damn...that rates about a "9" on the Condescension Meter, I'd say....

I was going to retort with a "YOU are obviously...", but then I thought "well, maybe he's being sarcastic...let's give him the ol' benefit of the dooubt."

One needn't be naive about something to be amazed by it. I don't think Carl Sagan ever stopped being amazed by the universe. I'm a mental health professional...I assure you that I'm somewhat familiar with "denial", thank you very much.

[tridim]

12. Hahaha "wookin' pa nub"

From back when SNL was actually funny.

"Sees, unce.. tice.. tee times a mady!"

[PurpleChez]

26. Yeah...I missed out on the Beatles,

but I'm glad that I'm just old enough to have experienced the heyday of SNL first hand. Knowing that Steve Martin was going to be hosting.... That was THE pop culture experience of my coming of age. The first time I saw the Blues Brothers just blew me away. (On SNL, not the movie.) Some of the Jon Lovitz & Phil Hartman period was great too. I was in college and grad school by then...we'd get pizza and beer, watch SNL, and then maybe bad horror movies out of Philly, or Star Trek, or something.

[Mabus]

11. Who'd thunk it?

It didn't occur to me until now: Nugent should do fundraisers for Vitter. Between fundraisers they could exchange tips on how-to best fill their pants full of the same shit they spew.

[Mend]

13. and what's with all the bathrooms...feco-sexuals, all of them.

[Bucky]

14. Wow. I just found out... When you Google "Republosexual" you get my DU journal now!

That was fast. I don't think I've ever coined a word before. Actually I didn't coin it. There's one other entry for Republosexual, but they're using it in the sense of wanting to have sex with a Republican--which is perverted, but not technically hypocritical.

[shadowknows69]

15. Trademark that sucker quick

or Bill Maher might steal it from you lol.

[Madspirit]

28. That's Great Bucky...

"Republosexual"...I will remember this.

Lee

[madinmaryland]

17. A PERVERTED HYPOCRIT!

[Initech]

18. We need a game similiar to Wheel of Fortune

Only instead of landing on numbers, it lands on a popular excuse for the GOP when they get caught with their pants down!

[Janice325]

19. Great post.

You're on to something.
Republosexual. That's funny.:rofl:
k&r

[orleans]

20. hey bucky--nice post. did you coin that phrase "republosexuals"?

it's fucking brilliant!

[Bucky]

23. I thought I did. But when I googled it later, it has been used (differently) once before

An actual Republican has used the word on a singles website to indicate he won't sleep with Democrats. I suppose now he knows which bathrooms to avoid.

[orleans]

27. i'm going with your defination. n/t

[McCamy Taylor]

21. They like to make public restrooms creepy for the rest of us

[Jade Fox]

22. How 'bout "Repulsosexual"?

They get off on anything that they claim to be repulsed by.

[NastyDiaper]

29. The "Homophobe Agenda"

where we can discuss self-loathing hypocrites.

[skymedia]

30. Mr. Craig

Mr Craig is right, he’s certainly not gay. He’s actually a CLOSETED HOMOSEXUAL!

What Mr. Craig fails to realize is that it takes huge courage and honesty to earn the privilege to call oneself Gay.

Instead, Mr. Craig is doomed to his own worse fate; a life built on dogma, hypocrisy and lies.

[Ian_rd]

31. Republosexual. It's Perfect! I run a dictionary - please help me out with this definition

Republosexual (Re-pub'-lo-sek'-shoo-ul) n.
A member of the Republican Party of the United States, esp. a man, who publicly decries the evils of lifestyles they consider sexually deviant and harmful to families and society, and/or advocates and supports laws to discourage and prevent such activities, while at the same time privately practicing the activities they publicly decry.


Let's get this term on Air America and the blogs.

[underpants]

32. Beverly Russell

http://www.teleplex.net/shj/smith/trial/smithsss.html

[The Wizard]

33. Closeted self loathing

fill in the blank, who like to hang out in public rest rooms to smell other people's crap.