Day in the Life of Joe Lower-Class Republican, 2015

Ian_rd

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Fri Aug-31-07 02:33 PM
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Day in the Life of Joe Lower-Class Republican, 2015

Day in the Life of Joe Lower-Class Republican, 2015

Joe gets up at 5am to prepare his morning coffee. He fills his pot full of bottled drinking water that costs him $1 per gallon. Joe has to spend this money on bottled water because the water from the tap is far too polluted by the chemical plant where he works about a half-mile away. Joe voted to reelect his Republican Congressman, who relaxed environmental regulations in return for large political donations made by the chemical company. Joe is certain that the company would voluntarily clean up their act if liberals weren't always suing them for environmental and labor grievances.

Joe takes his morning heart medication that his brother smuggled into the country from Mexico. The pharmaceutical companies that support Joe's favorite candidates charge Americans nearly three times as much for the same medications and Joe has no insurance. Joe also takes a couple aspirin with it because the medication, lacking meaningful review by a pharmaceutical lobbyist-ridden FDA, gives him a splitting headache that lasts for hours.

Joe locks the three dead-bolts on his front door and stands by the curb for his brother to pick him up for work. Joe's car broke down and he can't afford to fix it. Joe took a massive pay-cut last year, but at least he didn't get fired like some of his friends. His company just opened up a plant in Mexico where they pay the workers even less than what Joe makes, and any threats of a union are met with a police crackdown. The company's profits have tripled over the past four years and the executives are all earning more than two million dollars per year not including stock options and bonuses. But even so, Joe knows they have to constantly cut wages so they can stay competitive in the global market. They are heroes of capitalism and Joe praises them for their charity work in the community like the one thousand dollars they donated to the homeless shelter downtown.

Even if Joe's car were functioning, he would rather not drive it because of the steep gas prices. His gas station just posted a price of six dollars per gallon. Joe blames liberals for the high gas prices because they refuse to allow domestic oil drilling.

Joe looks forward to seeing his friends that were fired at the upcoming Republican fund raiser. They all intend to give as much as they can to support their candidate.

Joe's brother picks him up and they drive a long way around town to Joe's job at the chemical plant. They would able to drive a more direct route, but two of the bridges on the way have collapsed from disrepair and the state has no money to fix them. Joe thinks the state just wastes money anyway and he sure loves his low taxes.

Joe and his brother Sam don't speak much. Sam was arrested at a secret gay bar for immoral activity last year and spent a month in prison. Sam can no longer vote or get a good job because if it. Joe thinks that if Sam just controlled himself like a normal person he wouldn't have such problems.

After work, Joe walks to the local public school to meet his daughter Christine and wait for his brother to once again pick them up. Joe stands by the monument of the Ten Commandments near the front door waiting for Christine. There is barbed wire around the school grounds after school shootings and gang activity reached a new peak last year. Joe knows that if liberals judges would allow them to erect a statue of Jesus next to the Ten Commandments, then there would be no more violence.

Christine meets her Dad out front and tells him that he's going to have to start meeting her two hours earlier from now on. The school district is shortening the school day, firing teachers, and eliminating their English curriculum. Last year Joe voted to reduce funding for public education. Joe just says 'no' to big government tax-and-spenders.

When they get home, Joe checks his phone messages. Nothing - still no word from his father. His father Eddie made the mistake of walking too close to a group of liberals who were protesting the war in Venezuela and got caught up in a police round-up of the protest. That was three months ago. Joe suspects his father is in a secret prison being interrogated like the protestors. Joe knows it's necessary to keep our country safe from traitors and terrorists, and blames the protestors for endangering his father.

Joe goes to sleep and dreams. There is always much fear in his dreams, a product of the cable news that informs Joe of all the people who would kill him and his beloved daughter if he got weak and voted for a liberal. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Hopefully those Republicans will finally stand up to the liberals and make this country great again. Like it used to be.