FYI, straight people have sex in restrooms too.....

[Obamarama]

First, when traveling in upper Michigan this past week, I stopped in at a gas station to top off the tank in Traverse City. I went to use the bathroom (which you entered from a door on the outside of the gas station). As I approached a man and a woman exited the restroom with smirks on their faces. When I entered the bathroom there was a condom wrapper on the floor and a used condom on the floor next to the waste basket.

Next, here's a recent sex scandal in Grand Rapids, MI in which a police dispatcher (female) pleasured six male police officers in a police department restroom (link below).

My point? While I don't condone restroom sex, I think the "ick factor" being exhibited by some herterosexuals is a little over the top...as if only gay men choose restrooms as a place to sow their wild oats.


Grand Rapids police dispatcher ousted in sex scandal probe
August 30, 2007

ASSOCIATED PRESS

GRAND RAPIDS — A lawyer representing a former Grand Rapids police dispatcher says her client was a top employee who was forced to resign amid allegations that she had sex with on-duty officers in a headquarters restroom.
http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070830/NEWS06/70830047

[Warpy]

1. I would have found that just as icky

even though she was probably a working gal. I'd still have notified the owner that he needed to keep a closer eye on his public toilet.

Throwing a used condom on the floor was a nice touch, don't you think?

[Obamarama]

2. Me too...that's my point. Restroom sex is an equal opportunity "ick"

And yes...it would have been nice if they could have hit the trash can with the condom...or picked up.

[BlooInBloo]

4. Under most circumstances, I agree.

[durtee librul]

38. In Michigan they teach littering

to the kids......this state is the WORST for littering I have ever lived in....AND no-one seems to care either.

I have picked up bags which have been tossed out of windows at a drive thru at McD's and tossed them back into the car that tossed them out.....I had a pop can tossed into my convertible, so I caught up with the little prick and tossed it back thru his window....People are so shocked to get their trash back at them, they usually drive away really fast.

Again, no fines. They have more trash on their highways than they do in landfills and anyone who doubts me, just drive on I94 thru Detroit or use I 696 (or as it is more commonly known - the Moron 500)

And for the record, I notice you didn't stop at the rest stop on the highways - we don't either as we don't appreciate our feet sticking to the floors.

Sex in restrooms - hell, I went in an airplane bathroom in first class on an overseas trip to Japan and found the same thing. (and yes, the flight left out of Detroit altho I would bet it's pretty common no matter where)

[knitter4democracy]

61. I teach my kids to pick it up.

We had a guy dump all of his trash in our front yard one summer. Mom called the police, and they told her not to press charges, the guy was so dangerous. They apparently talked with him, though, since it didn't happen again.

I was disgusted by all the plastic grocery bags on the sides of 94 the last time I was in Detroit. It's not so bad over here on the Western side of the state.

[The Backlash Cometh]

80. Hetero or Homosexual, there are serious public health issues here.

Imagine a mother of two, cradling a baby in one arm as she uses the other to open the bathroom door, and as the door opens, her toddler runs in first, sees the condom and out of curiousity, grabs it. Some children between the ages of 1 to 3 are so orally fixated, that you need to watch them every second of their waking lives.

[Irishonly]

81. Me Too

[rug]

3. Well, if she was for outlawing straight marriage I'd be all over her.

[dpbrown]

5. Were they strangers?

Because that's where the "ick" factor comes in.

[Greyskye]

7. And did they meet outside that bathroom?

[sandnsea]

11. No, sex in bathrooms

is where the "ick" factor comes in. Yeah, people get carried away and things happen - but if you're caught you get arrested. Because, geez, control yourself and get a room.

[Obamarama]

15. Well, if you're using sex with strangers as a qualifier for ick, then LOL

My straight college roommate nailed more women whose names he didn't know picked up from just about every bar in town than I could have ever tried to in my entire life. He did them in cars, in alley ways, in stairwells, and yes...in bathrooms. Probably about 80% he never saw again. Again...I contend this "ick" factor is equal opportunity, whether it's about sex in a restroom or sex with a stranger, or sex with a stranger in a restroom.

[dpbrown]

27. Chances are he met few of them while "cruising" for anonymous sex in the bathroom, though

I've had sex in a bathroom. I just never met anyone I had sex with in a bathroom in that bathroom looking to get nailed.

[Warren Stupidity]

35. Ah so now we have further clarified this.

If your meet outside the bathroom and then go and fuck in the bathroom: no ick you.

That is perfectly clear.

No gray area.

Well actually how about on the transom of the door to the bathroom: ick or no ick?

[yardwork]

43. I think that's all incredibly ICKY!

I'm a lesbian who would never, ever consider having sex in a public bathroom. The thought is revolting. I also think that your roommate's behavior was revolting. Ick on a whole lot of levels.

[Warren Stupidity]

34. really?

So the only ick is if the people fucking in the stall next to just met? I really find it difficult to believe that this is the extent of your stallophobia.

[TahitiNut]

67. When they're strangers to the degree that 'consent' itself is an unknown, ubetcha.

When the person is so unknown that he didn't even know it was a cop, ubetcha.

I really don't get the dispute. I seen a LOT on DU about how human beings (women in particular) should not be objectified (and I agree!), but this episode is the epitome of the objectification of human beings. Peeping and intruding on another person without the slightest regard for WHO that person is with the (purported) goal of using them like nothing more than some inflatable simulacrum - a vessel for a biological emission nearly identical to a toilet or urinal - is objectification.

"Act in such a way that you treat humanity, whether in your own person or in the person of any other, always at the same time as an end and never simply as a means."

In my firm opinion, therein lies the unethical/immoral nature of the behavior. It has NOTHING to do with sexual orientation. Nothing.

[Olney Blue]

78. Best description. Period.

[havocmom]

79. Again, TahitiNut 'spains it all rationally and humanely

If there was a DUzy for posts with the most sanity... TahitiNut by a mile!

[TahitiNut]

82. (blush) Thank you.

:blush: It sorta seems obvious to me and I get a bit perplexed when folks seem to think otherwise.

[havocmom]

85. Common sense

is actually rather uncommon

[DemBones DemBones]

86. You are so right. The guy is a pervert and his "orientation" makes

NO difference. Who knows, or cares, what his "orientation" is? Maybe he's gay, maybe he's bi, maybe he's straight. Whatever he is, he invaded another person's privacy in search of anonymous sex in a public restroom.

He's got the money to hire male prostitutes, or female prostitutes, or a roomful of each, but that wouldn't fulfill his perverted needs.

Foley is a pervert, too, because he wanted young boys, minors. I have no doubt that he could have hired underage male prostitutes in Washington but he wanted House pages. Is it about their uniforms? Who knows, but he's a pederast.

Vitter at least hired prostitutes for his perverted diaper play. He's a pervert but he didn't try to involve minors or invade anyone's privacy, as far as we know. Still, hiring prostitutes is as illegal as what the others did.

Craig and Vitter both need to resign.

[durrrty libby]

6. Some people have no respect for themselves or others. They

are disgusting pigs. So what else is new?

[emilyg]

9. Thank you. Exactly.

[Laurier]

48. But a lack of respect for oneself or others isn't illegal on its own

So why should it be policed for gays and not for heterosexuals?

[durrrty libby]

51. Who said that? No one! Apparently there were complaints

about activities in the particular bathroom where Craig was arrested.

41 arrests were made there. Your charge of discrimination has no basis.

[sandnsea]

8. I've mentioned hookers and alleys

and $5 blow jobs under the tables in bars. Yeah, ick. Straight or gay. It isn't heterosexuals who are saying one is different than the other. It is our gay friends making that leap and labeling heteros as homophobes when there isn't true at all.

[Obamarama]

16. I'm not trying to label heterosexuals as homophobes.....

I'm gay, and I understand the "ick" factor associated with restroom sex. I'm relieved and thankful that I never felt the pressure to seek out sexual release in such venues. Being gay, I think perhaps I understand this public restroom thing a little better than most of my straight counterparts...which certainly doesn't mean I condone it or support it. All I'm saying is we're not the only ones who partake in such activities.

[sandnsea]

26. Well DUH

I think it's insulting that you would presume straight people don't know that. Or that there wouldn't be shock if Bill & Hillary were arrested for having sex in a bathroom. Or that she could seriously continue running for President. She might get away with it because they're married, but I doubt it.

I'm not saying you, specifically, have distorted people's views of this incident. But others have and it's ridiculous and rude.

I mean, the airport??? Come on. That is just way out of control, and completely unacceptable. No excuse at all. For anybody.

[Laurier]

49. The difference is...

that cops aren't hanging out in bathrooms for the purpose of busting heterosexuals having sex, but they ARE hanging out in bathrooms for the purpose of busting homosexuals for ...tapping their feet.

[yardwork]

44. Beg pardon? I'm gay and I'm not defending bathroom sex AT ALL.

[yella_dawg]

10. I think the real problem is...

in the US, gender-specific facilities heavily weight the opportunities toward gay encounters.


Makes it hard to draw any kind of conclusion as to gay/straight behavior differences.

[liberalmuse]

12. I don't like anyone pleasuring themselves anywhere, thank you.

I'm kidding. As long as you clean up after yourself with those antibiotic wipes, I'm okay with it.

It's not about trolling for sex in the toilet. It's really about how delicious it is to see yet another pious prig go down (no pun intended).

[Obamarama]

19. What are you...British???

:-)

[zbdent]

13. I have yet to walk down the street and see two men kissing publicly

and yet I had to deal with seeing heavy petting daily in the halls of my high school in the seventies ... but that was between a male and a female ...

[TomInTib]

20. Really? Then head west to San Francisco.

Here in Tiburon, though, it's usually two hot 20-something babes drunk on the deck at Sam's Anchor Cafe.

If I had time, I would link to the deck cam. Great show.

[Yupster]

40. School has gotten worse

Teachers tell me they are now patrolling their junior high school bathrooms since girls are visiting the boys bathrooms to perform oral sex there.

[mondo joe]

54. My partner and I kiss goodbye just about every morning on Lenora in downtown Seattle.

It's not a big sloppy french kiss though.

[lynnertic]

65. Cause you're not a teenager

[ChairmanAgnostic]

14. a couple of, three, maybe six times

I do seem to recall being dragged into a bath by a member of the opposite sex for the sole purpose of ah, shall we say, a religious experience?
A few times in the mens room, more often in the women's room. (I am amazed how many womens' rooms have GREAT couches. We guys are discriminated against, obviously)

[TomInTib]

17. I got kicked out of Sons of Hermann Hall (Dallas) for exactly that.

Big Problem because my girlfriend was playing onstage at that very moment.

[Gabi Hayes]

31. you are a bad, bad man!

for that I sentence you to check you PMs

[lynnertic]

64. .

:spank:

I hope you learned your lesson.

[TomInTib]

77. Oh, I learned a lesson allright.

Never have sex in the ladies room at Dallas' Sons of Hermann Hall while your girlfriend is onstage and you got to the place in her car (from Austin).

[tammywammy]

87. Man, I haven't been to Sons of Hermann Hall in years

I used to go there all the time back in high school for swing dancing. :)

[BattyDem]

18. For me, all public restroom sex has a major "ick factor"

I don't care who the participants are. I hate to touch ANYTHING in a public restroom, so the idea of leaning against a stall or a wall or a sink or whatever is just ... icky.

[Raine]

22. Yeah really

I don't want to walk in on it. Plus what about the children, kids need to use the toilet for christsake!

[BattyDem]

24. That bothers me the most --- the possibility that a child will walk in

No wonder parents don't want their children using a public restroom by themselves! :-(

[Horse with no Name]

21. Because of where I work in the hospital

dysfunction is generally the norm of the day.
Take for instance, the sister of one of our patients took up with the husband of another patient (the patients had both just had babies).
They started smoking together and we were just betting on when the family members of the one would see them.
Nothing we could say, but when both family members started carrying hospital linens to the waiting room bathroom, security got involved and took away their love nest.

[HughMoran]

23. Wow, for a minute I thought I was in the lounge

What the fuck difference does it make who is having sex in bathrooms?

Anybody who approaches ME for UNSOLICITED SEX in a PUBLIC BATHROOM is a FUCKING

CREEP!

.




Edit - I spell like a moran - lol.

[Laurier]

50. Agreed. But being a "creep" isn't illegal.

And tapping your foot shouldn't be illegal either.

[Beelzebud]

56. No but peeping on someing in a bathroom stall is...

But Senator Craig thanks you for your defense of his actions.

[tularetom]

25. My brother swears he and his girlfriend joined the mile high club

in the bathroom of an airplane between NY and London. May be true but it's kind of hard to imagine since he's about 6'6" and she was a Chinese lady about 5'1".

Personally I can't really get with the whole idea of bathroom sex although my wife and I once, well, you know, in a stall in a horse barn. We didn't scare the horses.

[BlooInBloo]

29. LOL! Talk about glass houses! (Or straw, as the case may be.)

[Gabi Hayes]

32. Jefferson memorial.

does oral count?

It was dark out

blind date

[Berry Cool]

28. Restroom sex is an "ick" to me

and it really exhibits (sometimes literally) complete discourtesy to the other users of the facilities. It's no less rude than sitting on the toilet talking on your cell phone, subjecting everyone else in the bathroom to your conversation and subjecting the person you're talking to to the sounds you and the other people in the room may be making *cough* *cough*. It's a restroom stall, not a phone booth.

I say "Get a room. Then, if you want to do it in the bathroom, be my guest...or the hotel's."

[rox63]

33. Hear, hear - I agree with the "get a room" sentiment n/t

[LiberalHeart]

30. Yeah, but it was only that one time -- and I was married to the guy.

[GeorgeGist]

36. Not easily grossed out are you ...

how about someone comes to your house and shits/pisses in your bed. Would that give you a clue?

[WhiteTara]

37. were the men forced to resign too?

just asking. I couldn't bring myself to click on the link. But if not, sounds like a bunch of hypocrites to me.

[LisaL]

41. Right now they are suspended without pay.

[NashVegas]

39. *applauds*

People engage in inappropriate behavior all the time. If everyone did all the time, we'd have total chaos but for the most part, things are okay.

[yurbud]

42. we're just jealous that we can't hook up while we're taking a dump

[WinkyDink]

45. "Having sex" in a restroom is not the same as "SOLICITING sex" in a restroom.

[Laurier]

47. Yes, tapping a foot is hardly going to offend anyone's sensibilities.

Even if someone were to walk in unexpectedly, I don't see how a tapping foot can be deemed offensive to anyone's sensibilities.

I can, on the other hand, see how walking into a public bathroom and happening upon people having sex could offend one's sensibilities. But that wasn't the case here, obviously.

[WinkyDink]

57. If some dame put her foot into my space and touched MY foot, I'd ask her WTH she was doing!

AND if she then ran her hand under my partition, I'd slap it!!
And you'd better believe I'd wait to confront the bee-yotch.

Your reaction might differ, apparently not finding such conduct...off-putting.

(Craig wasn't, IOW, only tapping "Dixie".)

[tammywammy]

60. Yeah, tapping your foot isn't offending

But someone staring at me for 2 minutes through the crack in the door is offensive.

[TahitiNut]

69. But PEEPING, FOOTSIE, and REACHING is

(Jesus!) It's not fucking rocket science.

[tammywammy]

72. I feel the same way

I've not posted in any of these bathroom threads until today, but really it's not hard to understand...yet many manage to really just not get it. :shrug:

[TahitiNut]

75. Christ on a graham cracker ... I don't see what's so difficult about this.

I have to wonder how many DUers would be willing to defend a Peeping Tom at a tanning parlor.

The contrived pretense that it's the same as intimacy between two consenting adults in a tanning bed is sheer lunacy.

[FourScore]

46. Exactly. n/t

[screembloodymurder]

52. Yup.

I've opened a porta-pot door and found a couple in the act. Didn't even lock the door.

[Terran]

53. I think many people here aren't understanding

(or aren't admitting to) the fact that most males, when presented with the opportunity to have an orgasm, will do so wherever and with whoever is available. Cultural restrictions placed on married or otherwise monogamous men prevent some, but by no means all of them, from seeking out sexual satisfaction in places where sexual encounters can be quick, anonymous, and free of any hint of romance. For gay men in particular, this sexual proclivity is magnified by our traditional urgent need for secrecy (and that still applies to a lot of gay men, make no mistake).

It's been a *very* long-standing practice for gay men to seek sex in secluded yet semi-public places--most of them probably a lot more private than any airport bathroom is likely to be--because the means for finding partners for actual romance was traditionally so limited for so many. As someone else in these threads pointed out, the risk associated with semi-public sex itself evolves into the erotic, and is actively sought out for that reason. If you want to read a literary description of this kind of behavior, see Edmund White's The Beautiful Room Is Empty.

All I'm saying here is, people maybe shouldn't be so shocked at this. The description I read of Senator Craig's actions tells me he's an old hand at 'tea room' sex. Our culture's deeply in-grained attitudes toward male homosexuality (as opposed to female homosexuality, which is rather different) have forced a large segment of our population into engaging in this behavior for decades if not centuries, and it's become, in a sense, traditional and appealing to many. It also feeds off of the very real male desire, gay *and* straight, to get off with another person with no strings attached. If people are feeling icky about all this, then they should realize that this is what male sexuality is about, if at a rather base level. Not all men are like this but, but all men are capable of being like this.

(Edit: add italics)

[DemocratSinceBirth]

58. I Agree With Everything You Said But

But I don't want anybody watching me take a dump without my permission be that person Matt Damon, Angelina Jolie, or Ryan Phillipe, even if it comes with a promise of hot sex at the end..

That's where Craig crossed the line; looking at folks on the can without their permission...

[Terran]

59. I agree

and I actually think most men are a lot more circumspect than that. Not all, but most. This is also why I question the choice of a busy airport bathroom..that strikes me as weird, very risky...as if he was asking to get caught.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

66. I Can't Get Into His Head...He's Obviously Conflicted...

I just get upset when folks try to make it into an orientation thing...I don't want the government reading my letters, monitoring my phone calls, and perusing my e-mail and I don't want women or men looking at me when I go into a bathroom, close the door, and take a dump...

It is what it is...

[Beelzebud]

55. FYI, They get arrested when they're caught too!

WTF about this is so hard to grasp for some ppl.

[lynnertic]

62. I never had sex in a public bathroom - germs germs germs ick.

It won't be a regret I have on my deathbed either.

[POAS]

63. What happened to the male officers?

Nothing I'll bet!

[AnnInLa]

68. Is it mostly a "man thing?"

I have been in many, many women's restrooms all over the world and have never seen sexual activities of any kind. Not even preludes to sexual activity. I do understand that women choose restroom sex as well as men do, but is it MOSTLY a "man thing?" If so, why?

[DemocratSinceBirth]

70. There Are Instances Of Woman-Woman Toilet Sex But It's Rarer...

eom

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

71. I Have Yet To See A Comment From Anyone That Implied They Didn't.

This whole premise seems a bit made up to me.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

73. And I Don't Know How It Would Absolve The Senator

It seems the "peeping" is what most folks find objectionable...

[Clark2008]

74. Well, I find the two examples of hetero sex you gave "icky" too.

Does that help?

Why would anyone want to have sex in a stinky, filthy public restroom? :puke:

I'm as adventurous as anyone, but surely there are better places to have "in public" sex - like the woods, on top of a building, in a pool... some place cleaner than a public restroom - a place even as a female I don't sit down in.

[jzodda]

76. Its icky to me

no matter who does it, straight or gay whatever. Why choose a freaking bathroom in a public place? Its creepy no matter how you look at it. Now it becomes EXTRA creepy when its a right wing US Senator who had bashed gays for decades and then gets nailed for trying to score some sex in the mens room. Theres a slime factor all over this story, as well as a huge dose of hypocrisy. I hope this helps us in 2008. Maybe some more right wingers will stay home on election day!

[shadowknows69]

83. I always thought a public restroom was on "The List"

of places you should try to have sex at least once. Airplane, back of car, couch, closet in your parents house when you're 16 (did I say that out loud?), Out in the open behind your apartment for the whole neighborhood to see, etc. etc. etc.

[mentalsolstice]

84. For me it's about the children

It's not about sexual orientation. It's not about child sexual predators. That is an entirely different issue, which, btw, has nothing to do with sexual orientation. It's about children walking in on behavior that they are unable to yet process because of their age. It's about kids having certain issues forced upon them that they're not ready to handle. It's about letting kids be kids for as long as possible, and letting their curiosity and knowledge of the world develop at a natural rate. Adults can troll in nightclubs and other places, even perhaps some restrooms, where children are not expected to be. However restrooms at airports, rest areas, etc., are not the appropriate place.

And yes, I know that many kids have accidentally walked in on their parents. However, why do we have to add, exponentially, the chance of them walking in on other adults?

edit for grammar.

[DemBones DemBones]

88. Your gas station example involved sex behind a locked door.

You didn't walk into a restroom and encounter a couple having sex. It was sex in a public space but it was done privately.

The police officers had sex in a restroom in the police station. Even if they didn't lock the door, it wasn't a public restroom, only open to officers.

That's the big difference between your examples and what Craig did.

The officers all should be punished for having sex in the workplace, though. That's the main issue there.

The couple at the gas station should have disposed of the condom properly. That is nasty behavior. Suppose the restroom was used later in the day by someone with a young child or children with them? "What's that on the floor, Mommy/Daddy?" :grr: I talked to mine about sex from a very early age but I wouldn't have wanted that sort of visual aid, or the visual aid of two people of any sex going at it in a public restroom.

We need to amend "I don't care what people do as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses" to include "or in public places, frightening the children and disgusting the adults."

Craig should resign and so should Vitter because they broke laws and are perverts. Vitter is heterosexual but kinky and Craig may be heterosexual, too, but with a kink for sex with men in bathrooms. He could also be bisexual or homosexual, we just don't know. But we do know that they both broke laws and engaged in behavior not expected of men in public office.

Remember that Barney Frank and others are openly homosexual and nobody much cares. This isn't a gay issue, it's about perversion and violations of laws by Republicans who preach "family values." Family values don't include men wearing diapers and hiring women to change said diapers or men soliciting sex from other men in public restrooms.

[OneBlueSky]

89. ya mean like in the Mile High Club? . . . n/t

.