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Edited on Wed Sep-05-07 02:24 PM by Ian_rd
- edited for spelling -
Advice to the future Democratic Candidate: I've been to the future, and this is how you're going to lose
I bet you didn't think you'd lose Florida again, did you? Sorry, um, I won't say your name, that would give away who won the Democratic nomination. But anyway, yea, you lost Florida and Ohio. Why? Well, wait a minute. Let me back up and start from the beginning:
YOU LOST! AGAIN! This is how:
1. Caging lists. A hell of a lot of people were denied their right to vote, many of them without even knowing it. The Republicans did it again, that is, what they did four years ago in 2004 with caging lists. Need a definition? Caging lists are lists of voters (voters who are usually known to have dark-hued skin, live in poor neighborhoods or in democratic precincts, and other democratic-leaning traits) used by the Republicans to challenge voters on Election Day. In 2008, as in 2004, these lists served to slow down the voting lines, create an atmosphere of intimidation, and forced several thousand voters to vote on "provisional" ballots - ballots that the states aren't even required to count. Thousands of these just went in the trash.
2. Do-not-forward letters. Again, a hell of a lot of people were denied their right to vote. How? Election precincts controlled by the Republican Party sent thousands of "do-not-forward" letters to voters whose legitimacy they considered suspect. Y'know - suspected Democrats. These are letters sent to a voter's address in order for a voter to sign and send back as proof of their residency at a certain place. If they send it back, they keep their right to vote. If not, they drop off the approved voter rolls. So, what's the big deal, you ask? Republicans just send a ton of these out like buckshot from a shot gun and some of the pellets are gonna hit. Sometimes people lose the letters. Sometimes they forget about it. Hey, there's nothing that says lazy forgetful people can't vote. But the real gold mine here for Republicans is college students and soldiers fighting in Iraq. You see, they send out these letters in the summer before the election when college students are away from their declared residence - their college dorm. And if you're a soldier abroad and receive one of these at your house on the other side of the planet? Tough shit, honey, you ain't voting for nobody!
3. Faulty machines. Isn't it amazing that nearly half the Native American population of New Mexico that drove all the way to the polls on Election Day waited in line, but decided not to vote for a president? Wow, that is amazing. But those voting machines are full-proof. Yes, siree! I guess those injuns don't care about who gets elected. Nah - you got robbed.
4. Last minute change of heart by approximately three million voters. Wouldn't you just know it. Every poll in the universe calculated a Democratic victory by a margin of 3% or more right up until midnight of Election Day and then - BAM - millions of them changed their minds when standing in front of the machines. But those voting machines are full-proof. Yes, siree! Of course, I can't prove the machines robbed you. I can't prove they made mistakes. In fact, nobody can prove absolutely anything about how those machines work, except the manufacturers. And they sure won't tell us - proprietary software and all that. Oh, y'know all the executives of voting machine corporations are Republicans, right? But I'm sure those machines are totally trustworthy even though there is no accountability or oversight whatsoever.
5. September 11 is not the only date of which we speak. So, even with all the colossal failures of George W. Bush and the obedient Republicans who carried his water for eight years, how did you loose your spectacular lead to be within three percentage points on Election Day? Remember when Hillary said another terrorist attack would help the Republicans? Well, yea, it was obvious. It was also correct. You thought it'd be different this time. You thought everyone really would come together in a civil way and try to make the country stronger. So you held your tongue. Criticizing the failures of George W. Bush with regard to the increase in worldwide terrorism and weak national security was simply beyond acceptable discussion. Next thing you knew the entire mainstream media was asking, "Are Democrats to blame for our latest terrorist attack?" The Republican attack ads running the week before the election featured images of the carnage, and their talking points all over cable and the airwaves described a nation secure against attack until the Democrats took over Congress in 2006. Take a hint. Don't play nice. They won't.
I'll stop there - with five ways that you lost. There were other ways, sure. More working voting machines were provided per capita in Republican precincts, and better ones too. A mysterious "American Al Qaeda" video tape popped up on the Drudge Report two days before the election and declared that Republicans were an affront to Allah. Republicans sent out sign-up sheets to the Republican Party disguised as petitions and questionnaires to registered Democrats so they would lose their right to vote for being registered in both parties. Polling places for large precincts were located as close as possible to Republican neighborhoods and as far away as possible from Democratic neighborhoods, sometimes relocated after extremely short notice. They've done it all before. But five hints should be enough for you. If you can't take these five, figure them out, and use them to win, then the Democratic Party is as worthless as President Fred Thompson claims it to be. Ah, crap I let that one slip.
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