THEY LIVE: A Review of Last Night's GOP Debate ---with pix--->>>

[Stephanie]

In case you missed last night's hate-fest on Fox, here's Roy Edoroso's rundown of the GOP horror show.

http://alicublog.blogspot.com/

THEY LIVE. This is the first GOP debate I've watched, as opposed to relying on transcripts. Tell me: are all of these things animated Ralph Steadman cartoons? Maybe the glaring police-interrogation lights amplify the animal freakishness of these people, but damn. After hearing National Review compare Huckabee to Kevin Spacey, I wasn't prepared for the squint-headed, bug-eyed monster that actually raves under that name. And nearly all the rest of them are just tubes of meat that, when squeezed, emit a display of polished teeth and psychotic ravings.

The only human beings on the stage are Ron Paul and John McCain. McCain, God bless him, carries on a noble campaign for his own idiosyncratic version of insanity, which I admire because his is a recognizably human affliction, inculcated by years of torture followed by years of having to consort with greedy politicians who were certainly his inferiors. His quiet lunacy is very different from the noisy, slavering power-madness evidenced by the rest of these guys. He's like King Lear standing among (but not of) a pack of Pavlov's dogs.

And Paul, of course, stepped out of the 18th Century to defend the Constitution from these nuts. The Fox News scumbags sigh and giggle, but you can tell they're pissed that they foolishly allowed a debate to take place in New Hampshire, where a free man will always command an audience's respect.

The rest are humanoid pus:

Duncan Hunter: We treat our torture victims too well. Someone should drive a stake through this one's heart and bury him in unconsecrated ground. Thank God his spot-welded body, movie-monster eyebrows, and Queeg-like manipulation of his pen removes him from serious consideration.

Mitt Romney: Heh, heh, heh. Heh, heh, heh, heh. Civil liberties are nothing compared to my desire to be become a real boy! He's like a robot who, between 1994 and 1996, tried to follow his dream of becoming America's first animatronic Baptist preacher; didn't make it but, when called upon to pretend interest in the affairs of us puny mortals, often falls into the old evangelical cadences.

Tom Tancredo: Waterboarding? Torture? Where'd you get that? Oddly, when you close your eyes, he sounds like Spalding Gray with hydrophobia.

Rudolph Giuliani: You forget that, while people were criticizing me for flaunting my mistress, I cut taxes 37 times. I think even Fox has given up on him. His head is swiftly turning into a memento-mori AS YOU ARE, I WAS -- AS I AM, SO YOU WILL BE dessicated skull. Someone obviously told him the jig is up about 9/11 -- now he brags endlessly about what a prick he was running New York. Listen close, death's-head whorefucker: no one in Bumfuck -- and, you know, all America is Bumfuck -- gives a good goddamn.

<more at link>

Black suit, red tie. Check.

[sinkingfeeling]

1. Exactly right!! They're not humans; they're power-crazed imperalists!

[Stephanie]

2. I think Mitt Romney was built at Disneyland.

And did you see the post-game, when his Mini-Mitt staffer was interviewed? I loved when the guy asked him about comparing his son's campaigning for him to fighting in Iraq. Romney was stunned for a minute.

[Virginia Dare]

3. That's sweet, did they all go shopping for ties together?

hilarious article...:rofl:

[Stephanie]

4. They got their suits at the Funeral Director Outlet Store.

It's like watching dinosaurs. I loved how Luntz's NH focus group absolutely turned on him. No matter how he tried to manipulate them, they all (all but three) agreed that they like McCain best. Luntz was stunned.

[underpants]

5. humanoid pus

he sounds like Spalding Gray with hydrophobia

:rofl:

Thanks for the link I am printing out the whole blog to read

[Stephanie]

6. He's very, very funny.

Check out the comments - almost as good!

[Stephanie]

10. Here is his condensed version of a previous debate >

So funny. This is my excerpt from then - I can't figure out how to search his archives for the whole thing >

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=389&topic_id=900850

DEBATE. Round one

McCAIN: We're fighting them over there so we don't have to fight them blah blah blah. Iraqis are disappointing.

THOMPSON: I too believe Iraqis are disappointing.

ROMNEY: Iraqis should do what I say.

BROWNBACK: Iraqis and Democrats should do what I say.

GIULIANI: Democrats and Republicans should do what I say.

TANCREDO: I agree with Bush.

PAUL: I agree with Reagan.

HUNTER: The Iraqis agree with me.

HUCKABEE: Gotta get it right the first time, that's the main thing. Wo ho, wo ho, wo ho, wo ho ho ho-o-o ho.

GILMORE: America, whattaya think about Iran?

Round two

ROMNEY: I won't raise taxes.

McCAIN: Here's a joke! (laughter)

HUCKABEE: Here's a crazy idea, and a joke! (laughter)

GIULIANI: I cut taxes in New York, and they're all commie bastards.

BROWNBACK: Biofuel will defeat Hugo Chavez.

THOMPSON: I did 1,900 vetoes, and I'll cut into that useless agency, the Centers for Disease Control.

PAUL: I'll cut everything.

GILMORE: I'm a conservative. You other guys, not so much.

HUNTER: Fuck China, help American businesses, especially war profiteers.

TANCREDO: I'll cut everything too.

Round three

GILMORE: Giuliani loves abortion, Huckabee hearts taxes, Romney loves health care for God's sake.

GIULIANI: Well, at least I'm not a liberal.

McCAIN: I was in Vietnam.

HUCKABEE: I actually cut taxes. I'm doggone good and I have a moniker.

ROMNEY: I hate the state I used to be governor of.

BROWNBACK: Yay Reagan, boo Mexicans.

THOMPSON: Yay stem cells, boo destroying embryos.

GIULIANI: Abortion? Goddamn New Yorkers. What could I do?

HUCKABEE: Giuliani celebrates death, I look for lost boy scouts.

BROWNBACK: If you're raped, you should have a baby.

ROMNEY: I am recently and totally pro-life.

TANCREDO: I hate Mexicans. These guys love Mexicans.

McCAIN: Well, at least Mexicans aren't Muslims.

ROMNEY: Mexicans shouldn't get a special pathway. Or doorway. Citizenship! (applause)

McCAIN: Why's everyone looking at me? Abortion!

GIULIANI: I'm not soft. I'm hard! I'm America's Mayor! We need tamper proof IDs! And a fence!

HUNTER: I built a motherfucking fence.

PAUL: We really fucked up in Iraq. (applause)

GIULIANI: 9/11! 9/11! (cheers, gunfire)

PAUL: Fuck you.

McCAIN: I'm sorry about the Confederate flag, but not as sorry as you should be for asking me about it. (cheers, "Dixie")

HUCKABEE: That murderer? Everyone makes mistakes. If I'm elected, no one will go free.

TANCREDO: Global warming is bullshit. Ron Paul is a traitor! (cheers)

Round fucking four

McCAIN: I'm against torture. I was tortured myself. (No applause)

GIULIANI: I'm for torture. (applause) 9/11!

ROMNEY: More imprisonments without trial! Fuck habeus corpus! (applause)

THOMPSON: Colin Powell! Confused you, didn't I, bitches? Asking me about Africa! Sheeit.

BROWNBACK: Fuck the U.N.!

HUNTER: Whatever I did, I wouldn't think about it, thinking's for pussies.

McCAIN: I'm still against torture, despite your invitation to get with the program.

GILMORE: 9/11, Virginia stylee! Fuck the U.N., but with foreplay. I was a prosecutor!

HUCKABEE: Bush said "keep shopping," which was great, but let's all pretend we're making sacrifices, and voting for me would be a good first step.

PAUL: Forget taxes, let's talk torture. I mean, let's get Bin Laden. (deafening silence)

TANCREDO: Jack Bauer! (cheers)

Bullshit minority afterthought

GILMORE: I like black people.

ROMNEY: No Child Left Behind is good for black people.

I don't even know what this is supposed to be

HUNTER: Expanded trade with China may not be an unmixed blessing.

Conclusion: This country is fucked. Our only hope: THROW BATTERIES!

[PetrusMonsFormicarum]

7. They Live was a great movie (spoilers)

Directed by John Carpenter, it is a classic of paranoid cinema and an indictment of the "me" decade. Set in the modern day (late 80s), They Live follows a drifter (pro wrestler Roddy Piper) who is noticing that a lot more regular folks are finiding themselves cut out of the American Equation: picture yourself and your neighbors struggling to survive in a shanty town under the shadows of towering bank skyscrapers. Meanwhile, a new class of affluent yuppies is mysteriously rising to power.

Roddy discovers a Resistance forming that includes pirate tv broadcasts and strange wraparound sunglasses. When he finally dons a pair, the glasses open his eyes to a hidden, subliminal world where every dollar bill says "THIS IS YOUR GOD" and every magazine or billboard tells viewers to SLEEP, CONSUME, and MARRY AND REPRODUCE.

What's more, Roddy can see the yupsters for what they are: aliens who have come to Earth to live among us and conquer the planet not with spaceships and lasers, but ECONOMICALLY.

John Carpenter isn't America's best film director, and he sometimes gets, uh, cheesy. But this film and its political/social messages should be seen and enjoyed by every progressive.
Here's a pic of one of the alien nasties as seen through the glasses (he fits right in except for no red tie!):

[Stephanie]

8. Thanks!

I've never seen it. :hi:

[Stephanie]

9. kick

.

[Stephanie]

11. Um, did anybody watch?

It was hilarious.

[Stephanie]

12. For the evening shift.

:kick: