I got stopped and prosecuted for shoplifting when I was a teenager.

[boston bean]

The problem is I wasn't shoplifting.

I was at the store with my deaf next door neighbor. I was in the eight grade and was looking at make up. When I saw this guy looking at me. I thought he was checking me out. I was a tom boy and a slob sometimes, so I decided to tuck in my shirt.

I started to walk toward the checkout when this man (the same one who I thought was checking me out) grabbed me by the arm and said come with me. Well, my mother always told me to never ever go with anyone I didn't know. She drilled it into me and believe me I followed her rules on this.

So I ran to the customer service desk yelling and pleading for help that this man was kidnapping me. I was crying, hysterical, scared out of my wits.

Everyone just looked at me. I couldn't understand why they wouldn't help me. Well I later understood, because they recognized the man who had his hands on me as the person who was in charge of store theft.

He brought me up to this little room up above the cash registers and started searching my pockets, making me unzip my pants. He found nothing. I pleaded with him that I did not shop lift. He went back down to the aisle I was shopping and found some cosmetics that he said I threw out of my pants when I ran away from him. I did not, I dropped the stuff from my hands when he scared the ever loving shit out of me.

They could not reach my deaf next door neighbor, because she couldn't hear the pages and would not let me go look for her. I was in that room for 45 minutes with him scaring me senseless, until he finally let me call my parents.

They came and of course looked angry when I first saw them, but they immediately understood by the look on my face that something was seriously wrong. I got to leave the store in their custody.

The store filed shoplifting charges and I had to go to court at the age of 13 where they found me guilty of something I had not done. I have not trusted authority or the justice system since that time.

[AX10]

1. What year was this in?

I am very sorry to hear this.
Many of us have a distrust of authority. We are all not some F***ED up Mandrell sister. :puke:

[boston bean]

3. 1981. nt

[angstlessk]

2. WOW...how traumatic for a kid...very scary...

I know how you feel. authority is often just in the service of their own agenda and care nothing about justice!

[nadinbrzezinski]

4. So many things were done WRONG here it is not even

funny

I am sorry this happened to you, but actually a good lawyer could have gotten you off this one.

And it is not authority that is the problem but the abuse of it... which this case clearly illustrates

[Zodiak]

38. The problem is that abuse

is so rampant. If you cannot trust some authority, you cannot trust any at all. The results of being wrong can be catastrophic.

This is said from someone who has been on the receiving end of a little "errant justice" from pumped up jack-booted thugs for doing nothing but change a flat tire in a parking lot at night.

That was 1989. I have seen far more abuse since.

[NOLALady]

5. OMG!

They made a 13year old unzip her pants without her parents there? Is that legal?

[nadinbrzezinski]

8. No

among many other detals in this story

[AX10]

9. No, though it was tolerated in 1981.

Today is a different world.

[DemGa]

6. That's a heartbreaking story

I was falsely accused of shoplifting at the age of 14 while buying school clothes with a friend. I was a smart-ass and mocked the poor fellow as he looked through my bags. I gave him hell.

That sucks that that happened to you. I see anyone with authority over me as a potential danger.

[Quantess]

Oh, man. I'm sorry to hear it.

Too bad you didn't have a better lawyer, too.

[Vinca]

7. What a traumatic event. I, on the other hand, stole everything

that wasn't nailed down during a brief period of time when I was 12 or 13 and didn't get caught. My come uppance came when I poured a large bag of pilfered M&Ms out onto my bed and they were covered in ants.:rofl:

[Sequoia]

10. That's so terrible.

For you and your neighbor. What a jerk those people were.

[HughMoran]

11. That's annoying

I'm glad that didn't happen to me - I'd probably have burnt the store down after that.

[Hydra]

12. I too have been burned by "The Law"

So I sympathize, but keep that lack of trust in the system and authority. It will serve you well, especially as we move toward the grand lockdown.

[pnwmom]

13. I'm sorry you didn't have a better attorney.

Of course you learned not to trust the authorities. I'm sorry this happened to you.

[boston bean]

15. We didn't have the money for an attorney.

I wish we did, because I might no be so jaded about cops, justice or authority.

[pnwmom]

18. Were you living in Massachusetts at the time?

And don't tell me if you don't want to, but I'm curious about whether you are white -- whether racism was involved on top of everything else.

[boston bean]

21. Yes, I am a native baystater, lived here all my life in the same area.

I am a white female.

[boston bean]

20. Now that I think about it, I think we did have an attorney. I don't

know why he couldn't get me off.

[pnwmom]

27. I was on a shoplifting jury once.

And I remember the security person did not apprehend the shoplifter until AFTER the person had taken the stuff through the door without paying. I would never have found someone guilty in your circumstance. Too bad you didn't get a jury trial, because it's hard to believe that at least one juror wouldn't have blown the whistle on this.

When you were screaming, in the beginning, I think your initial gut impression of that guy was right -- he was after a power trip and a cheap thrill.

[Occulus]

14. And this is WHY these threads today have gotten so out of control.

Very, very few people who have never experienced the trauma of being officially accused of a crime they did not commit are even capable of understanding the effects of that accusation.

It's called empathy. You know who has it, and who doesn't. The people clamoring for everyone to obey the Authority- much the worse, the Corporate Authority (which, to me, is no Authority of any kind)- simply do not understand the trauma of the false accusation.

I would argue that there may be a correlation between people who have never been falsely accused of a crime and those who are willing to obey Authority at all costs- even, as one poster put it on one of these threads, "at the expense of a small amount of liberty".

My gast has been well and truly flabbered today.

[pnwmom]

17. I don't think empathy is as rare as you do.

But did you happen to see this? This is the researcher that John Dean relied on in his recent book.

http://home.cc.umanitoba.ca/~altemey/

OK, what’s this book about? It’s about what’s happened to the American government lately. It’s about the disastrous decisions that government has made. It’s about the corruption that rotted the Congress. It’s about how traditional conservatism has nearly been destroyed by authoritarianism. It’s about how the “Religious Right” teamed up with amoral authoritarian leaders to push its un-democratic agenda onto the country. It’s about the United States standing at the crossroads as the next federal election approaches.

“Well,” you might be thinking, “I don’t believe any of this is true.” Or maybe you’re thinking, “What else is new? I’ve believed this for years.” Why should a conservative, moderate, or liberal bother with this book? Why should any Republican, Independent, or Democrat click the “Introduction” link on this page?

Because if you do, you’ll begin an easy-ride journey through some relevant scientific studies I have done on authoritarian personalities--one that will take you a heck of a lot less time than the decades it took me. Those studies have a direct bearing on all the topics mentioned above. So if you think the first paragraph is a lot of hokum, or full of half-truths, I invite you to look at the research.

SNIP

[Occulus]

25. A VERY good book.

Thank you for linking to it again. It is what clued me into the whole Authoritarian mindset.

The world simulation experiment was too creepy for words- and that's in, what, chapter 1? 2?

edit: I don't think empathy is exactly "rare", but let's just say people often tend to hide it for fear of being singled out as "loving criminals", "being on the side of drug users", "wasting their time on the poor", etc. and etc.

Authoritarians can be deeply intimidating to those who do not know how to deal with them. The one thing they hate more than anything else: disobeyance of Authority.

Doesn't the book also point out that such people are far more likely to hold a black/white view of the world (if you don't like the policy, don't shop there/ if you don't like it here, move out of the country)?

[pnwmom]

29. I just downloaded it yesterday and haven't gotten through

the whole thing yet. But I agree, it's very good so far.

[Zodiak]

39. "Conservatives Without Conscience"

And excellent book.

I have a libertarian personality and found that book to be eye-opening.

And I agree...the one thing that triggers an authoritarian is the disobeyance of authority. They cannot stand anyone flaunting the rules and pay little heed to the wisdom of the rules themselves.

Authoritarians can be Republican or Democratic, by the way (mostly R), but tend to follow whatever social authority reigns in their immediate area. What they follow matters less than the fact that they follow it....and expect everyone else to....or else.

Well, according to the book, anyways.

[ComerPerro]

22. I call bullshit on you. The "hero" from the thread that started this all only cheapens actual cases

of abuse by overzealous security like in this story.

To compare the two and even suggest that they are offenses on anything remotely of the same level is an insult to actual, honest victims.

[glitch]

36. It is flabbering that's for sure. I take comfort that it's not that many posters posting a lot.

Someone should do a poll, maybe it's actually 23% ;)

[Gormy Cuss]

16. It is a shame that you didn't have a better attorney.

Even in 1981 a male security person asking you to unzip your pants was far over the line. I used to get extra attention in certain stores because my K-Mart type clothes stood out so much that they assumed I was shoplifting but I never had any accusations. My younger sister was accused but nothing came of it. Good thing, because in our family at that time there was no money for a lawyer.

[pnwmom]

19. She didn't have an attorney either. n/t

[boston bean]

23. After thinking about it, I think I did have an attorney. I can't remember all the legalisms

or why I was found guilty, except they didn't believe me. But I remember the actual incident and outcome like it happened yesterday. After I thought about it though, I think I did have a lawyer, but I'm not 100% positive, if we did it put a cramp in the budget.

Even to this day when someone doesn't believe me, when I'm telling the truth, I almost have a breakdown.

[Johonny]

26. It's hard to imagine you could be found guilty

I think even in 1981 you had to actually leave the store with the items to be shoplifting.

[boston bean]

32. Nope, I was walking toward the registers at the end of the aisle I was in, it was

close to the front of the store and he just grabbed my arm and told me to come with him.

I ran toward the service desk and he chased and grabbed me again.

I never left the store.

[pnwmom]

30. Is it too hard to talk about with your mom?

Maybe she remembers more.

[boston bean]

34. I could call and ask her. Although, her memory isn't the best.

Believe it or not, this incident comes up atleast 1 a year in conversation in the family. It has not been something I share with many people outside the family, cause I think most people will think if I was found guilty and had a juvenile record that I must have been guilty. It has created a little paranoia too you know.

I will never ever forget it and it makes me mad sometimes about how it affected me and my outlook on life. The incident really has entered into many corners of my life and how I handle things.

Sometimes I don't even recognize it at first. And probably sometimes never at all.

So it is really nice to see how all the people here on DU understand and believe me. Which as I have said, is a good thing, cause if people don't believe me it really puts me in a tizzy. Maybe now I can open up a little bit more with people who know me.

[pnwmom]

43. If you haven't done this already,

I would look into finding out how you can expunge this false conviction from your record. Since you were a juvenile, it should be fairly simple.

I know it won't make up for what happened to you -- but it might help a little bit in moving past this.

[Clintonista2]

24. Teens are always targeted

Where I live there's a variety store in the mall that has a "no more than 3 teenagers at a time" sign outside of it. At first I thought it was a joke, I found out it wasn't.

[Scout1071]

28. Uh..., when I was a teenager, many people I knew shoplifted.

More specifically, they shoplifted make-up, cigarettes, and clothes....pretty much in that order.

[Bitwit1234]

31. I did a dumb thing one time.

I was older, not a teen ager, but It was stupid. I was looking at purses and wanted to buy one. So I put it over my arm. I walked to the counter after looking around some more, and walked out without paying. When I realized what I had done I came charging back into the store and told the lady at the checkout. She just laughed and said that it proved I was honest or after getting away with it I wouldn't have came back and paid for the purse. After I got home, I realized the clerk was on my par of stupid. What woman walks around with two purses over her arm.

[proud2BlibKansan]

33. Similar thing happened to me

I went into a Venture store that was right next to a grocery store. I had my 2 year old son in the cart and several bags of groceries. I bought two or three things at Venture and threw them in one of the grocery bags. As I walked out of the store, the security guard stopped me and accused me of shoplifting. Like an idiot, I went with him willingly as I had not stolen anything and figured it would be cleared up and I would leave in a few minutes.

Not so. They went through every single bag of groceries and checked every item I bought against my grocery receipt, even the food items that the Venture store did not carry. They found nothing but continued to accuse me of shoplifting. In the course of the conversation, the guy asked me what I did for a living and I told him I was a teacher. He said he could make sure I never taught again since I was a thief. I asked to use the phone and he refused. Finally, he let me leave but told me I was banned from ever shopping at that store again.

Next day, I called the manager of the store and let him have it. I told him I had worked retail many years and knew what the guy did to me was not only bad business but most likely illegal. The manager explained they had a huge problem with shoplifting and had hired a new security team that was a bit too aggressive. And he apologized. I voluntarily never shopped at that store again. And I cheered when Venture went out of business.

[boston bean]

35. Has it jaded you too?

The store that did it to me is out of business as well.

[proud2BlibKansan]

37. Oh yes of course it has jaded me

It was literally YEARS before I could walk in to a store - any store - and not feel a twang of guilt. I felt like every employee in the store was scoping me out. :scared:

[MissB]

41. Yeah.

I went shopping on the way to work one morning. I was preggers at the time but didn't know it (I'd just had my first child less than seven months prior) so I'd called in sick because, well, I felt like crap. Dh had taken our child to daycare, but I hauled in a few things in my backpack.

So I went into this department store to look for a few tops. My son was self-weaning and I was in need of some non-maternity tops. I had my backpack with me, and before I went into the dressing room I asked the clerk if I could leave it outside at her register. She refused and said I had to take it in with me. So I did.

I tried on the few tops and nothing seemed quite right, so I went back out with my backpack and started looking at some other tops. A few moments later, I heard the clerk call up security and talk to them about me.... she couldn't see that I was on the other side of the column from where she was, well within earshot. She claimed to the guy that she thought my backpack looked fuller than when I went in.

Needless to say, I was pissed. I marched right over to her and let her know that I'd heard her. I insisted that she bring security right down. She was all flustered, but called them up. They came down, and I pulled each and everything out of my backpack. I had all sorts of wonderful things in there - a change of clothing for my baby, a few diapers, a few bottles of expressed breast milk, some sanitary pads, my purse, my lunch....

Anyway, I left with the security guy's apology at least. I cancelled my account with them, and haven't been back. The chain has since been taken over by Macy's, but I don't care. I just won't shop there ever again.

I'd offered to leave the backpack at her station. Freakin' control-freak clerk.

[blondeatlast]

40. They prosecuted a first offense??? Are you effing kidding me?

I testified in about a dozen professional shoplifting trials (I was a saleswoman at a very chic department store) and we would NEYER, EVER prosecute a first offense (too expensive and not worth the effort--the DAs only took the really hot cases anyway)--nor would you be stopped before you left the store (they will follow in case you want to leave the mdse. inside the foor--many people do).

A first offense? I have a very hard time believing this.

[boston bean]

42. Well, you can believe whatever the hell you like, but it did happen exactly as I have stated. nt

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

44. When I worked in a bookstore, we had a situation once.....

Couple of kids got dragged in by security about ten minutes after they left.......they had a copy of the Satanic Bible which they had just stolen from off the shelf.

Security came up to my friend in charge and asked what he wanted to do.

My friend, a devout Catholic, looked at the main kid, a scraggly punk of about 15.

"You took this?"

"Yes, sir.......I'm sorry"

"I could prosecute you, that's what our store does....."

"I'm sorry, sir......"

"You think it's cool to steal garbage like this.......?"

"Um.....uh....no"

"What would you want with this crap?"

"Uh......I don't know....."

My buddy looked at security and said "Let him go. BUT, (looking at the kids) if I ever see you here again, I'm calling the cops"

"Thank you, sir."

Later, my friend asked if I thought he did the right thing. I said I wasn't sure, but wondered why he decided to let them go.

"I figure if they are stealing books like that, they have enough problems in life already."

[boston bean]

45. Kids do shoplift and it is a problem for store owners, but sometimes

things are not just, as in my case.