Who leaves three toddlers alone in a hotel room?

[FourScore]

I know, I know, we hate the "missing girl" stories that dominate our airwaves, but please bear with me for a moment on this one. The parent in me must express this. In fact, this thread really isn't about the little girl's disappearance. (And, please allow me to first say, I do hope for her safe return.)

I am referring, of course, to 4-year old Madeleine, the young British girl who was taken from her hotel room in Portugal last May just days before her 4th birthday. Celebrities like Beckham and Rowling helped to make this a well-publicized case.

Today the police are naming the parents as suspects. Personally, I am doubtful that they harmed their daughter. But what really upsets me about this case, that NO news agency seems to discuss in any real depth, is the fact that these two parents left 3 children, ages 3 (one week shy of turning 4) and "YOUNGER!!!" (how old exactly? I don't know.), unattended and ALONE in a hotel room in a foreign country while they went out to dinner. They claim they checked on them frequently, but all I can think is: What??? They left them ALONE??? I don't know why people aren't more disgusted by that fact. Nor do I understand why that is reported on so blithely -- as if parents do it all the time and it's okay. NEVER leave 3 toddlers alone ANYWHERE. Period. Especially in an unfamiliar hotel room in a foreign country.

There. I just had to say that.

[DS1]

1. Ask Eric Clapton about kids being left alone

[SaveOurDemocracy]

18. Are you inferring that Clapton's son, Conor, was alone

when he fell to his death? If so, you'd do well to familiarize yourself with the facts.

[FourScore]

20. That was just a terrible tragedy. n/t

[DS1]

36. You'd do yourself a bigger favor by not being so snarky

:hi:

[SaveOurDemocracy]

40. That was snarky?

You must have a very shallow snark-o-meter. You inferred something that was untrue. I simply suggested you check your facts before impugning someone.

[QueenOfCalifornia]

43. WTF?

Eric Claptons son, Conor, was not alone. The housekeeper who had just finished cleaning the window left it open -

Conor fell through the open window and landed on the roof of the building next door.

----

The night before, Clapton who was visiting from England, had taken Conor to the circus -- this is what inspired the song:

"The Circus Left Town."

Little man with his eyes on fire
And his smile so bright.
In his hands are the toys you gave
To fill his heart with delight.

And in the ring stands a circus clown
Holding up a knife.
What you see and what you will hear
Will last you for the rest of your life.

And it's sad, so sad,
There ain't no easy way round.
And it's sad, so sad,
All you friends gather round
'Cause the circus left town.

Little man with his heart so pure
And his love so fine.
Stick with me and I'll ride with you
Till the end of the line.

Hold my hand and I'll walk with you
Through the darkest night.
And when I smile I'll be thinking of you
And every little thing will be all right.

Chorus

Chorus

The circus left town, left town.
The circus left town, left town.

[FourScore]

45. Reading these lyrics

right after autorank's post about polar bears going extinct...I'm pretty much a wreck now.

[varkam]

2. In the vast majority of cases involving the disappearance of a child...

the parent(s) are/is usually involved.

[Blue_Tires]

3. true...that story never passed the smell test for me

[kstewart33]

4. Boy, have you got that right. eom

[MoonRiver]

5. I agree.

When my kids were toddlers I wouldn't even take a quick shower unless I knew they were asleep or being watched by my husband.

At the very least those parents are guilty of neglect.

[spinbaby]

6. I don't think it was far

I remember from an earlier story on this that the hotel room was only a couple of dozen yards from where they were eating--within earshot. I may be wrong, but it sounded like they were actually very close by.

[FourScore]

9. It doesn't matter. That's still too far.

As we can tell by the now missing girl.

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

11. 150 yards from what I've read. That is not within earshot. eom

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

13. Self-delete. Wrong place. nt

[rox63]

7. If you can't get a babysitter

You either bring the kids with you, or you order room service or take-out. You don't leave babies like that alone. I agree, it has always puzzled me why no one has made a big deal about that aspect of the story.

[terip64]

8. Or three teenages, thank you very much! No offense, but especially boys...

I seriously have to say no swimming to my 16 year old son and his friends if I am not home. And they don't listen so I just make sure I am home. Between driving, swimming and fire I am most certainly not done raising this boy of mine. I have two older daughters and they made mistakes but they didn't jump off floats and try to hold each other under when swimming in my above ground pool. Probably didn't wear sunscreen but at least I wasn't worried that were going to kill each other or light my house on fire!!



I will never understand people not watching their kids. Never.

[FourScore]

10. Yikes!

I have a few years till I get there...but the teenage years do bring on a whole new set of problems, don't they? And boys are SOOO different from girls.

[acmavm]

15. Yep, they sure are different. Girls will attitude you until you're out

of your mind. Boys go for the big stuff, breaking their legs on skateboards, jumping out of windows, taking cars for joyrides.

I cannot tell to this day which was worse.

[FourScore]

17. In my BC (before children) days

I used to say that 90% of the differences were brought on by society, and the rest was biological...

I WILL NEVER SAY ANYTHING THAT STUPID AGAIN IN MY LIFE!!! It's more like 99.99999% biological and .00001% societal! :D

[acmavm]

26. Ain't it the truth.

[acmavm]

27. Ain't it the truth?

[terip64]

29. It is so true. Mine is a good boy, even somewhat cautious, but still scary as hell.

I talk to him a lot and so does my husband. I am very fortunate that my husband was an OR nurse and so he saw many horrible things. My kids have two mothers in many ways.

The scariest thing is driving. God help me. We try to explain to him that a car is a weapon and he needs to be so careful. I think I worry equally that he will get hurt and that he will hurt someone else.

This too shall pass, that is what I keep telling myself!

[Igel]

30. Used to say the same thing.

Now we have a 3-year-old boy. And I was just telling an out-of-town friend the same thing. His response? "And you *believed* them when they said the differences were almost all nurture? Fool!"

Then again, I was, in practice, just about an only child (my brother was 11 years older). My friend was #4 in a family of 5, all boys.

[spoony]

You're absolutely right.

I'm stunned by these stories where parents leave their kids for hours at a time, whether it's in a car or a hotel room or wherever. It's just tempting fate.

[FourScore]

28. There was a very tragic story in Colorado.

A man briefly left his 3-year old asleep in his carseat out in the wilderness while he left for just a few minutes to check on some animal traps he had set. The child woke up and went to look for his Daddy. They found him frozen the next day. It was heartbreaking.

[Catherine Vincent]

12. I hear what you are saying.

But I think that is common in European countries. There was a story a while back about a couple that left their baby in the stroller outside of the restaurant they were eating at. Most of the locals didn't see that as a problem.

[Bluebear]

14. I dunno, wimp, "It's such a safe little seaside town. And they were sleeping..."

"And we could keep an eye out from the restaurant. And and and and and."

Whatever the outcome of this, I don't doubt that that mindset could creep into someone's psyche.

Not mine, mind you, I would be the world's Most Paranoid Dad.

[FourScore]

23. Hmmm...

Abbreviating my name here at DU...whereismyparty=wimp.

I didn't think that one through too well, did I? :D

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

16. I read that they checked on the kids every 30 minutes. That is a long time for a child.

Imagine being 4 years old, and waking up in a strange place, without your parents there.

The parents behavior, IMHO was unacceptable.

[FourScore]

19. Exactly. That is an eternity for a child.

Could you imagine how frightened a child would be to wake up and not find their parents? Mine would probably just leave and go look for me and get lost. (Shudder) I can't even think about it!

[SoCalDem]

31. "Every" 30 minutes.??They claimed they were only away 45 minutes.

If you have sleepy babies, you order room service or one goes for carry-out..

or better yet.. you leave the babies in the UK with the doting grannies to fight over..and you go off on a restful holiday..

this was a tantrum gone batshit insane or a potty training mishap..

(my momsense radar went off the chart when I heard the story)

[Scout1071]

21. Actually, the media in Europe has been discussing this since day one.

[FourScore]

42. What about in Great Britain?

I wonder why it isn't reallytalked about here in America...

[Avalux]

22. Selfish people who shouldn't have children.

Sorry - but if you can't take the kids to the restaurant with you, don't go. It's as simple as that. The way this couple has rationalized their behavior by saying it was OK because they "checked on them every 30 minutes" doesn't wash with me. A lot can happen in 30 minutes to three kids under 4.

[FourScore]

24. Yep.

If you can't take the kids, then one can run for take-out and they can have a nice meal in their hotel room. That's how we did it.

[AlCzervik]

25. i don't leave my almost 13 year old alone at my house never mind a hotel room.

[KitchenWitch]

32. I am a parent and there is NO WAY in HELL I would leave even 1 toddler alone

[FourScore]

39. Nope. Never. n/t

[redqueen]

33. The news doesn't mention it because then people would focus on

the parents, instead of the story they want to sell, which is the cute missing girl.

I don't know how any parent leaves their children alone like that.

[Dorian Gray]

34. My friend went to New Orleans with her extended family.

Her brother in law said he'd babysit her two year old son while he watched his own one year old son, while the rest of the group went out to dinner. He had had four beers, and he thought he'd be okay. He fell asleep. The two year old son got out of the room, walked into another room with an open door. Luckily, there were three girls in their twenties there who were honest and caring. They called the hotel management, who sent a couple of security guards around to all the rooms to see if they could find the parents. Unfortunately, my friend's Brother in law didn't wake up to the knocking. So, they kept the son in the lobby with people who worked there and two police officers. When my friend and her husband came home from dinner, they saw their son sitting in the lobby with someone who worked at the front desk and some officers, and she freaked out.

They had the best case scenario. A three year old can walk out, get hurt or lost, and never be found again. What the parents did was completely irresponsible, not to mention potentially criminally negligent. The more I hear about this story, the more disgusted I get with parent's who do make proper provisions for their young children.

[Peregrine Took]

35. Two doctors and no nanny? If you bring 3 tots on vacation at least pop for a

nanny so you can have some peace and quiet and get away from your brood for a while.

[JCMach1]

37. I heard today that there is probably blood evidence in the room and in the rental car

I am beginning to think some twisted version of Munchausen's was at work.

[FourScore]

38. They rented the car 23 days after she went missing. n/t

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

41. I use the even/odd rule of toddler abandonment.

Leaving one toddler alone in a hotel room is irresponsible.

Leaving two is OK because they'll balance each other out.

Leaving three is bad, because then two will form a gang and beat up the other one.

...and so on in that fashion until you run out of toddlers.

[QueenOfCalifornia]

44. My kids are 7 and 8

and I would never leave them alone anywhere.

I do not drive to the 7-11 at the corner and leave them at home.

I wouldn't ever leave them in a fucking hotel room...

Something doesn't smell right here

[in_cog_ni_to]

46. Never in a million years would I have left my son alone ANYWHERE,

and certainly not in a foreign country in a hotel room. I don't think my son was without an adult present until he was 12 years old (Illinois law) and that would be if I had to run down the street to the store for 15 minutes. It never, ever entered my mind to leave him alone at 4 years old or younger.

I don't think the parents killed Maddy and they must be guilt ridden for having left the kids alone. 2 doctors don't know you should NEVER leave toddlers alone? Surely they could have hired a babysitter if they couldn't eat in with the kids that night?

It IS awfully strange how this isn't an issue in the media. Why not? Is this a common thing to do in the UK (leaving toddlers home alone) and that's why it's not an issue? I don't know.

The whole thing is heartbreaking!