How long before McCain starts speaking in tongues?

[BushOut06]

Now that McCain has declared himself to be a Baptist, in an effort to woo over the extreme religious right, how long before he starts speaking in tongues at some campaign appearance? Does this mean we can expect him to start handling rattlesnakes in some small Southern town? How far will McCain go to convince the religious whackos that he's their candidate?

[groovedaddy]

1. It can't be long. He's been speaking out of both sides of his mouth.

Not to mention out his ass too.

[whistle]

2. He pretty much was yesterday on Meet the Press as John Kerry

...pounded him

[QueenOfCalifornia]

3. Let's see...

Now?



This translates to:

"mmmm, me love my monkey"

[MNDemNY]

4. You mean he hasn't been? Damn.

[EFerrari]

5. Regular tongues or forked tongues? n/t

[mntleo2]

6. With all his flip-flops ...

...isn't he already speaking in about 100 different tongues? He makes little sense and it is kinda like when he shared his birthday cake with Bu$h after Katrina as part of his country was being washed to the sea, and meanwhile not saying a word about any of it while watching Bu$h play air guitar. WTF did that mean?

Cat In Seattle

[Bake]

7. Most Baptists don't "take up the serpent" nor do they speak in tongues.

I'm all for criticizing the Baptists, especially the Southern Baptist Convention (which is still, nominally, my denominational affiliation, for reasons mostly of apathy I suppose). But your stereotype is really inaccurate.

It's the Pentecostals who are noted for speaking in tongues. I'm not sure who has the exclusive rights to "taking up the serpent" but it's not the Southern Baptists, unless it is an extremely rural, remote congregation such as in the Appalachians. Some Primitive Baptists practice foot-washing and maybe a few do the serpent thing, but that's really pretty rare.

Bake

[zabet]

8. Not so around here..

in Southeastern NC. Holiness Baptist Churches do have 'speaking in tongues'
in their congregations. I know of many of these Holiness Churches in the
area. True that Pentacostals are noted for it also, serpent handling does
tend to stay in the Appalachians, but there are many churches that hold
revivals in the area and 'footwashing' is often a big part of it.

edit spelling

[Bake]

9. Just an educated guess on my part, but the "holiness" Baptists

are probably not affiliated with the Southern Baptist Convention. I could be wrong, however. When I was active in the SBC and in Baptist circles, both tongues and snake-handling was anathema.

Bake

[zabet]

12. You are probably right...

being raised Southern Baptist, what I saw was many of the
Holiness Churches began due to dissent within the congregation
of a Big Baptist Church, a small portion of the congregation
breaks away and starts their own church. Even if the Holiness
sect is not part of the SBC, its roots definitely are in it.
Holiness Churches that begin as off-shoots of a bigger church
tend to keep the same basic Baptist tenets. The only difference
I have seen (I have attended both) is the acceptance in the Holiness
Church of someone who wishes to speak in tongues or to simply
raise their hand and say Amen during the sermon. The straight-laced
Southern Baptist Church I attended some as a child, well that sort
of thing was frowned upon. If the spirit moved you, you kept it
to yourself. Just the beginning of my distate of organized religion.
I have found that the Holiness Churches are more accepting and far less
judgemental. The Southern Baptist Convention Churches tend to be
very judgemental, very non-forgiving and politically and socially
motivated.

[tabasco]

10. I saw a documentary about a snake church and it was Pentecostals.

The preacher is in prison now for molesting children.

[Patsy Stone]

11. He's gonna do that Bruce Almighty thing

when the other candidates begin speaking. It's really the only shot he has left.

[Bake]

13. An old-time gospel musician/comedian went to a snake-handling church for a revival

Windy Bagwell was his name. He said about an hour into the service the deacons brought out a big box and when they opened it up, it was full of rattlesnakes, copperheads, etc. The little church was packed with people, and the deacons started handing out the snakes to whoever wanted one. Windy said, "I could see right away that there was more people than there was snakes, and I just wanted them all to know there ain't a greedy bone in my body!"

Bake

[Beelzebud]

14. I want to see him juggle a poisonous snake!

[peekaloo]

15. He'll have to rename his bus, again, to "The Holy Roll-Over".