How to get an OP kicked and recommended

[cali]

in one easy lesson:

1) make the most dire predictions your fevered imagination can conjure.

2) Throw in lots of buzz words: Fascist is good. Nazi is even better,

3) Spread a heavy duty unsubstantiated rumor; something like
El-Al won't be flying on September 14th, and use that "fact" as the
basis for a false flag operation taking place.

4. Never, ever use Occam's Razor. If you hear hoof beats on Central
Park West at midnight, it must be a zebra, not a horse.

5. Throw in some really tough Democrat bashing. Not mere strong
criticism, but comments about how all the dems are like "good
germans", or that they're all owned by corporate interests. Each
and every one of them!

6. Spell America, Amerika. That's a real crowd pleaser.

7. Put Hillary or Gore in the title

8. Use the buzz word DU jour in the title: Buzz word for today:
BETRAYAL. Runners up: COWARD amd TASER. Make sure to use caps.

9. Add a dash more Nazi imagery, mix well and post.

You too can be assured of a place on "The Greatest Page".

* Money back guarantee. Payment free trial period of 15 days.

[Buzz Clik]

1. stupid corporatist.

[cali]

5. And fascist

enabling stooge; don't forget that.

[rudy23]

2. There's no way you're not gunning for the Greatest Page with this

I'm just playin', I thought your post was funny.

[rusty quoin]

3. Thanks for the advice cali.

I'm fairly new here. Going to print this up right now, and expect to have at least 3 posts kicked by AM

[cali]

4. LOL

Just follow my guaranteed for success guidelines, and you can do it!

And welcome to DU.

[HughMoran]

6. It's 'Merka, not Amerika

:D

Good points BTW.

[cali]

13. Bzzzt. wrong

If you want to be taken seriously, it's always Amerika. And management cannot be held responsible if you don't follow the guidelines.

(thanks)

[HughMoran]

20. Gawd Bless 'merka

I guess I'm destined to be a failure :D

[mike_c]

7. damn, I HAD to recommend this post....

You hit ALL my recommendation buttons at once!

:rofl:

[cali]

19. Hi, mike

thanks for the rec.

[TomClash]

8. I suppose this is satire

. . . since Will Pitts' post has the most votes on the Greatest Page right now. It doesn't follow this lesson plan at all. Tsk, tsk.

[uppityperson]

10. That is a good point. If you have a "Name" it helps. eom

[Lerkfish]

9. wow. a little ticked our own threads aren't getting reccommended?

who pissed in your cheerios?

[cali]

11. nah, my posts regularly get

recommended. I'm just poking a little fun at some of the more hyperventilating type posts.

[Lerkfish]

36. ah. sorry was working a late shift and too tired to pick up on it.

carry on.

[jpgray]

12. Looks like this one is getting recommended just fine. And the satire is spot on

[IDemo]

14. Two words

- Hillary.
- Gore.

[cali]

16. Excellent point!

I will immediately add to the lesson plan.

[BlooInBloo]

15. Easier: Just reprint ThinkProgress posts.

[Hissyspit]

60. That's uncalled-for. n/t

[tandot]

17. Damn: "Error: You've already recommended that thread."

Thanks, Cali. Spot on!

[tekisui]

18. kick and rec....

;-)

[sufrommich]

21. K & R.

[IDemo]

22. Shouldn't "un-recommending" a thread be an option?

"You've already recommended this thread. NOW, you want to flippin' UN-recommend it??"

Not that this one would be in any danger.. :hi:

[cali]

23. It would be funny in a sick kind of way

if we had a thumbs down option and a "worst" page. Can you imagine the squirmishes that would break out?

[BlooInBloo]

24. There are plenty of crappy posts already. No need to encourage it.

[Prism]

70. Squirmishes

Typo or not, I'm stealing that word.

*loves it*

[Gabi Hayes]

25. thanks...this would get an unrecommend, for tossing out the contumely regarding

fascist comparisons

we don't have ANYthing approaching Mussolini's own definition of fascism right here, right now, do we?

what a crock

[cali]

29. LOL!

and nyah nyah; it's already on the greatest page and you can't do anything about it. Have fun fuming.

[nofurylike]

31. succinctly said, Gabi Hayes. thank you. eom

[Beausoir]

48. That would be a "neg rep". Followed by a thumbs down sign.

It happens at a few boards I visit.

Brutal, that.

[nofurylike]

26. such trouble, though! we should just have cali grade them. eom

[Gabi Hayes]

27. thank you! HAAAAA

your reward, courtesy of our brave representatives:

[nofurylike]

32. o my

:blush:



peace

[bear425]

28. Don't forget post about the totally heinous Circuit City

and their receipt totalitarianism. What a slippery slope Amerika is on.

[cali]

30. Oh yeah

and I forgot tasering too.

[IDemo]

34. How about another feature: hide threads using DU buzzword of the day

And miss out on all those smoking, breastfeeding, Anna Nicole worshiping Circuit City shoppers...

[bear425]

35. Funny... and I just love your sig line. Never knew he said that. n/t

[frogcycle]

51. speaking of which

I keep seeing references to Olive Garden. I missed whatever that was. Got a quick summary?

[autorank]

33. The "F" word in the subject line can be helpful. I'd rate it about, oh, #1

Subject: We're all F'ing Dead, Hillary did it with disposable razor

:)

[IDemo]

37. Fitzmas. I'd almost forgotten about that one..

[autorank]

38. Ok, so take a turn at bat. I'm curious hot "Fitzmas" would work with the other stuff

[IDemo]

39. Wouldn't, really. It was the 'f word' DU jour for months, though

[autorank]

49. OK, I'll try...

You made me do it though, if you object;)

"F'ing Fitzmaz" simple, like the lyrics, easy to dance to

[progressoid]

40. All I can say is...

K&R!!!

[rusty quoin]

41. I just completed the 'cali course on how to get a post kicked.' Here is what I learned.

I decided to comment on a news story from my area:
http://www.wthr.com/global/story.asp?s=7107600

1) A war, between Republican gangs, has the city of Lawrence in terror. The mayor has issued a statement, saying that if the violence does not end, all Democrats will be forced to leave the city.
2) Democratic grandmothers have been a target of these Nazi O'Reilly fans.
3) It is rumored that these gang headquarters are located in public restrooms throughout Lawrence.
4)One witness stated he used a stall at one of the gang headquarters, and heard the tapping of a foot, which he suspected was a gay Nazi, and not someone listening to his IPod.
5)There are some who say that some local Democratic politicians know the whereabouts of these gangs, but act like good Germans.
6) There are no known other gay nazi restroom gangs know in the county or in Amerika.
7)Hillary Clinton had no comment.
8)Some of the most common assaults by these COWARDS on Democratic grandmothers have been bruising, cutting, and breaking of ankles.

[cali]

42. LOL

outstanding.

[tyedyeto]

43. What a selfish post.....

A thought provoking post with intellectual discussion is the best way to get recommended. If you do not participate in the discussion, chances are your thread will fall lower and lower and not receive the 'votes' you are desiring.

Or you have no influence with the 'in crowd'..... take your pick.

[cali]

45. Are you serious?

Do you really believe that a thoughtful post will get recommended? it does happen, sure, but there's a lot of hysterical hyperbole that gets rec'd up pretty fast.

And I can't believe that you really believ that there's an in crowd on DU.

You're kidding, right?

[tyedyeto]

46. You answered it...

'hysterical hyperbole' = in crowd

What part of that don't you understand?

Occasionally, a well thought out idea will become a very thought provoking thread with many responses and recommendations.

But for the most part, the OP (are they 'in' with the in crowd) of a thread makes it or breaks it when recommendations to the greatest page is considered.

BTW, I never check the 'Greatest' list, I look for threads that peak my interest.

[cali]

47. Well, now I understand

and I agree.... I think. And like you, I never go to the 'Greatest' page.

[frogcycle]

52. actually

a macro to automatically hide anything that makes the greatest page would be nice.

Oh, it might obscure the occasional goodie, like the Will Pitt just mentioned, but generally speaking it would be a pretty good spam filter :)

[enigmatic]

44. Perfect

:thumbsup:

[frogcycle]

50. here's an irony

my very first post ever - about a year ago - got five recs in a couple of minutes. Somebody replied with a crack about "well you achieved your goal" or some such - but I had no idea what the recs meant!

Since that auspicious beginning, I have had 3,797 OP's die of neglect in even less than five minutes.

Just a flash in the pan.

[Fran Kubelik]

53. I love this thread

:applause:

[cali]

54. kick

buy now! Never have another of your OPs sink into oblivion without so much as a single rec. Money back guarantee.

[Perry Logan]

55. Pro-Democratic, optimistic threads are a guaranteed box-office disaster.

By contrast, polls rigged to make Republicans look invincible always do well. And freeper talking points about Hillary. And temper tantrums about impeachment. And screeds about Democratic "cowardice."

[IronLionZion]

56. I heard they were Zebra Unicorns...a friend of a friend saw them. K+R

Gore was riding one of them and Hillary's goons tried to kill it.

Anyway, thank you for posting this. Your saying what many are thinking. I'm sick of this shit, but like a bad accident I can't look away. I need my daily (hourly?) DU fix or I might completely tweak out.

All up in it loving it strong,
ILZ

[Hissyspit]

57. Here's how to get recommendations from the usual troll-like posters.

Post something devisive and mocking about other DUers. Say you don't read the Greatest Page, but post a post that is clearly about your obsession with how the Greatest Page works.

[cali]

59. Lighten up.

I doubt I can convince you that this was not done in mean spiritedness.
Sorry you took it that way.

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

58. I TAZED YER NAZI ZEBRA & ITS GOREY RAZOR TOO

Most Zs in a subject line. Yes!

Can't stop thinking about Sweeney Todd. I am feverish.

[mmonk]

61. You got 30 recommends. Hypocrisy by those that underestimate

our problems?

[Mythsaje]

62. I don't do ANY of those things

and yet, somehow, I keep getting Recommended.

Hmmm. Now would I get recommended MORE if I DID those things?

Something to consider.

[rateyes]

63. I'm going to try it....

I'm going to post a thread right now with the title being, "Hillary & Gore" With "that is all," in the body of the message, and see if I hit the greatest page.

Here's the link:

So far, zero recs.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1872306

OK, now...no cheating. LOL.

It got 3 votes (one I know from this thread), and sinking fast.

[rucky]

64. Stupid question:

What's Occam's Razor? I only know it as a crossword puzzle clue.

[rateyes]

65. It's the assertion that

the simplest explanation is usually correct.

[ourbluenation]

66. the simplest answer is usually the right one, or some such thing.

[rucky]

68. I should've deduced that! n/t

[Dr Fate]

67. I agree- dont those idiots know that 6 million jews have to die before we can talk about facism?

Talk about jumping the gun!!!

[Robbien]

69. Is there any thread more than this Push/Pull thread.

Go away.