On the Lighter Side: Crisis on the Canadian border.

[Synnical]

This was forwarded to me by a friend.

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has

intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the

illegal immigration. The actions of President Bush are prompting the exodus

among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray,

and agree with Bill O'Reilly. Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to

see dozens of sociology professors, animal rights activists, and Unitarians

crossing their fields at night.



"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer

huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage

borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. "He asked me

if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have

any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"



In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but

the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush

Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still

got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk."



Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the

Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the

border and leave them to fend for themselves. "A lot of these people are not

prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one

carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa

Valley cabernet, though."



When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing

loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been

circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in

which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.



In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes ingenious ways of crossing

the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy

cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans

disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping

buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizen passengers on Perry Como and

Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the '50s. "If they can't

identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious

about their age," an official said.



Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an

organic broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies.

"I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't

support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art history majors does one

country need?"

[provis99]

1. oh, this is delicious

Looks like something that might have been written in The Onion!

[Swamp Rat]

2. "Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk."

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Swamp Rat]

3. For the Liberals who are caught and sent to re-education camps: Become Republican

http://www.thefrown.com/?/cartoons/55/495

:D

[Synnical]

4. For the record, this was attributed to the Manitoba Herald, Canada

I checked Snopes, nothing there.

[Synnical]

5. .