It's Impossible To Lick Your Elbow

[JFN1]

So I was standing in the checkout line at the grocery store, when the Mayor of our small town got in line behind me. I've known her for years, twice supported her campaign, and will gladly do so again. She's a former elementary school principal, full of homespun wisdom and gentle humor - I really like her.

So while I was waiting to check out, I asked her if she had any thoughts on impeaching Bush and Cheney. She said, "Sure, I've got lots of thoughts about it, but none of them will accomplish much."

I said, "Well, sure, but every little bit counts! How about a resolution from the town requesting the House begin impeachment proceedings?"

She chuckled lightly, a glint of humor in her eyes, "That sounds good, it really does. But what do you think the chances of getting such a resolution past the city council is? You know who runs the council."

I admitted the chances were not good.

The line started to move, so I turned and began pushing my cart forward. She said to my back, "You know, Joey, it's impossible to lick your elbow." I turned at the odd remark and she smiled at me, peering over the rims of her glasses. "There are limitations for all of us."

I smiled noncommittally and agreed with her, then loaded my items onto the checkout belt, made my purchase, and left the store, wondering if she was hopped up on goofballs or what.

I got out to the car and loaded my groceries up, and couldn't stop thinking about her rather strange comment. I pushed the cart into the cart stall and walked back to my car and got in. And I tried to lick my elbow.

A tap on the glass startled me a bit, and I looked up with my chin in the crook of my arm, to see the smiling face of the Mayor.

"That's what I love about Liberals," she said. "We defy the impossible."

[PCIntern]

1. It is not impossible, BTW....

I had a girlfriend years ago who could semi-dislocate her arm and lick her elbow...she could almost lick the bridge of her nose as well.

I won't go any further...

[Bucky]

6. You were a fool to let her get away

But maybe she didn't need you.

[PCIntern]

10. Interesting reply...

she left me for your sister.

[Bucky]

12. D'Oh!

LOL :)

[PCIntern]

14. glad to see someone with a real sensayuma

around here lately.

People have really been on edge...I half expected you to come tearing after me with some nasty comment about my prejudices and asking me to be TSed.

:hi:

[truedelphi]

15. I'll go further. My first boyfriend could lick as far down as Possible

And then he could lick Possible!

Sometimes I would brag about this ability of his, and he would be forced by the crowd at the party to demonstrate.
<sigh>
Of course, once we got home, I would be the one blamed for his having to show all!

[cascadiance]

18. My guess is that Gene Simmons (of Kiss) could kiss his elbow...

... and he was anything BUT a liberal and has been a big apologist for Bush!



http://www.radaronline.com/features/2007/05/gene_simmons_interview_1.php

[Sequoia]

2. Holy Cow....look at the email I got this morning!

A shrimp's heart is in its head.

The 'sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick' is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants.

Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14,Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16 1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles?

In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

23% of all photocopier faults world-wide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their butts.

Most lipstick contains fish scales.

Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.

If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out.

In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand.

It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.

More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.

Horses can't vomit.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of the world's nuclear weapons combined.

On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.

On average people fear spiders more than they do death.

Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.

Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

It's physically impossible for you to lick your elbow. Yes, I too tried to lick my elbow several times in fact. I thought if anyone could, I could.... since I have double jointed arms.... nope.... I was wrong... you'll find out soon enough.

The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.

A snail can sleep for three years.

No word in the English language rhymes with 'MONTH.'

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

All polar bears are left handed.

In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

'Go,' is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall.

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

Almost everyone who reads this email will try to lick their elbow.

[JFN1]

7. Weird!

I wonder if the mayor got the same email...? I'd never heard that before today.

[Kelly Rupert]

13. Man, I hate those emails.

A duck's quack does indeed echo, Title 14, Section 1211 is actually intended to quarantine anything coming back from the Moon with the Apollo program, "O!" (vocative exclamation) is a shorter sentence, and women and men do not differ statistically in their blink rates, and the match predated the lighter by 20 or so years (though the quick-strike friction match did come later).

[rateyes]

16. And, I seriously doubt if our ears and noses NEVER stop

growing.

[tridim]

20. "A duck's quack doesn't echo" has been busted by the Mythbusters

But it was confirmed that it's difficult to get a duck to quack on cue.

[rusty quoin]

3. Great story.

[MrCoffee]

4. welcome to DU, JFN1

[saracat]

5. I can lick my elbow. I just tried it.It wasn't easy but I could!

[Bucky]

11. So, do you want go out for coffee?

Bay-bee?

[BuyingThyme]

8. I can sneeze with my eyes open.

[Uncle Joe]

17. I can make my thumbs do a Hula Dance,

all I need are some small grass skirts and a couple of good Lays or is that Leis? Probably both.

[KansDem]

9. Thanks for this story!

I got out to the car and loaded my groceries up, and couldn't stop thinking about her rather strange comment. I pushed the cart into the cart stall and walked back to my car and got in. And I tried to lick my elbow.

A tap on the glass startled me a bit, and I looked up with my chin in the crook of my arm, to see the smiling face of the Mayor.

"That's what I love about Liberals," she said. "We defy the impossible."

That made my afternoon! :D

[Gregorian]

19. Hahaha. Beautiful!

I also just tried it. Then finished your article. Great surprise.

You know, we also thought that stuff that was heavier than air couldn't fly.

Impeachment is rather trivial. Especially when the evidence is overwhelming. All we need to do is move these sandbags out of the way.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

21. If you lick my wenis I'll lick yours.

[hootinholler]

22. Yeah but wouldn't it make sense that you should be able to wipe with it?

:shrug:

-Hoot

[BlooInBloo]

23. Oh no it's not. Lots of people have licked my elbow.