***DUzy Awards for week ending September 28, 2007.***

JeffR

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Fri Sep-28-07 05:28 PM
Original message

Welcome to the DUzy Awards, honoring unserious ululation, ulterior utterances and uncanny umbrage from this week on DU. Congratulations to this week's winners!

The hopped-up DUzies will be announced every Friday, if I get around to it. Previous awards can be found in my journal.

Note to Mods: Skinner has authorized the DUzy Awards to be posted in GD.

Special thanks to sfexpat2000, Bluebear, intheflow, eridani, unhappycamper, scarletwoman, AZDemDist6, CaliforniaPeggy, madokie, stellanoir, FLDem5, eleny, hyphenate, havocmom, Kurovski, hootinholler, uppityperson, kay1864, Warpy, Lars39, babylonsister, Peake, krispos42 and NanceGreggs for their invaluable assistance.

On a thread by CHIMO:

      U.S. to patrol Manitoba border with drone aircraft

response #6 by kitty1:

      I live in Manitoba. All they're going to find is trunks full of booze n/t

response #7 by struggle4progress:

      Eeeek! Manitobans!

response #10 by Tandalayo_Scheisskopf:

      It's a major smuggling route...
For Poutine and Smoked Meat sandwiches.

response #12 by JBoy:

      Bah, who cares about UAVs
Manitoba is home to the world's biggest baddest mosquitos that will KICK YOUR ASS

Now powered with West Nile Virus.

LBN, September 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3001412

OP by ourbluenation:

      Gore/I-don't-give-a-shit 08!
:)

response #1 by Earth_First:

      I've heard good things about I-dont'-give-a-shit...
Polling very well in the South...

response #3 by BlooInBloo:

      I-don't-give-a-shit will make a WONDERFUL President one day!

response #15 by Pastiche423:

      NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We've already had I-don't-give-a-shit in office for almost seven years!

GD, September 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1872426

OP by SaveElmer:

That's it...I'm leaving...
Damn spineless Democrats...they are DEAD to me!

Weasels couldn't even invoke cloture on 8733, an amendment to strike the word "the" from page 463 of the secondary amendment 4567, to S9999 the "Omnibus Bill to Do Everything Everyone Wants Act" of 2008...

COWARDS!!!

GDP, September 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3539950

On a thread by dancingme:

NO! Bush met with the Phillies today

response #1 by IanDB1:

Did Bush bring steroids with him, or is that only for teams he still owns? n/t

GD, September 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1873592

OP by hisownpetard:

To the 29%ers: The Bible specifically says you should not watch Fox News. Deuteronomy 8:3
Man cannot live by DREAD (sic) alone.

GDP, September 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3540169

On a thread by rodeodance:

      Yoo: History will prove Bush right - Daily Report

response #3 by malaise:

      Can I say this
Fuck Yoo!! :puke:

response #10 by burythehatchet:

      can't believe I never thought of that
fuck yoo too :)

GD, September 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1872257

On a thread by WillyT:

      Oh Dammit !!! - The Freepers Caught Us Again !!! (re: MoveOn Donations)

********************************************************************************************

To: DickieFlatts

Allow me to “deconstruct” thier “model” for raising money. Most of the donators are either government-employees, students who are federal-loan recipients, and or entitlement dead-beats. Thus, the percentage of MoveOn.Org donators have salaries/incomes that are directly tied to increases in taxation/goverment spending.

Right now, they donate portions of their incomes (which are really just your and my tax dollars) to MoveOn.Org in order to elect more socialist politicians. You see, you and I would invest in stocks and or mutual funds to create wealth for ourselves via the free market. These kooks veiw their donations to MoveOn.Org as investments. Trust me, the fully expect a return on that investment in the form of bigger tax-and-transfer programs from their favorite politicians.

7 posted on 09/21/2007 12:26:58 PM PDT by Bishop_Malachi (Liberal Socialism - A philosophy which advocates spreading a low standard of living equally.)

********************************************************************************************

To: Bishop_Malachi

You are correct. I surf over at DU from time to time. I am always amazed by the number of them that are just one step ahead of having to file bankrucpty or getting kicked out of their double wide for non-payment of rent; yet these loons always have $25 to $50 to send to moveon.org and DU.

That being said; I am saddened by the number of claimed high school teachers that post at the DU web site. These loons are teaching our kids!

11 posted on 09/21/2007 12:40:07 PM PDT by WBL 1952

********************************************************************************************

To: Bishop_Malachi

"Right now, they donate portions of their incomes (which are really just your and my tax dollars) to MoveOn.Org in order to elect more socialist politicians."

So then, basically....WE TAXPAYERS are funding and donating to MoveOn.Org....indirectly. That's just swell.

Taypayer revolt, anyone?

14 posted on 09/21/2007 12:50:35 PM PDT by XenaLee

********************************************************************************************

To: Bishop_Malachi

Don’t forget, in the 2004 cycle, 1/3 of thier cash came from OFFSHORE, NON-US Sources....

For the first time in our HISTORY, thanks to McCain-Feinglod, HUGE somes of foriegn cash are being used to influence our elections, and Democrats are sucking it up...

18 posted on 09/21/2007 1:17:50 PM PDT by tcrlaf (You can lead a Liberal to LOGIC, but you can't make it THINK)

********************************************************************************************

Link: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1900283/posts

I'd just like to thank all the hardworking freepers for my donations to MoveOn.Org, LOL!!!

:evilgrin:

response #2 by cryingshame:

      said it once, I'll say it again. How can anyone navigate FR? What a crap website.

response #15 by WillyT:

      It's A Service I Provide...
Sort of like the guy who cleans Port-O-Lets.

:evilgrin:

response #43 by alittlelark:

      OMG.... Im soo BUSTED>>>>
I gotta hire me a truck to move my double-wide from Los Altos to Los Altos Hills! We haven't done nuttin to that there property yet.... The cement pond hasn't even been poured yet! Damn... the freepers caught me w/ my pants down in the outhouse!

:cry:

response #72 by burythehatchet:

      we're not teaching your kids because they're out hanging nooses from trees

response #109 by Bucky:

      Whew, am I tired from a hard week of teaching your kids to love Mao & practice abortion
Guess I'll sit down to a nice cool beer I bought with my government handout money.

Ha-ha! Just kidding.
I actually stole this beer from a hardworking American Republican (oops, being redundant there) but the ACLU got me off on a technicality.

GD, September 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1874527

On a thread by Bluebear:

So, this bird walks into a store . . . . . .
A seagull in Scotland has developed the habit of stealing chips from a neighborhood shop.

The seagull waits until the shopkeeper isn’t looking, and then walks into the store and grabs a snack-size bag of cheese Doritos...

Customers have begun paying for the seagull’s stolen bags of chips because they think it’s so funny.

response #33 by alphafemale:

Just let him try that shit at Circuit City.
:D

Click the link if you haven't seen the video yet!

GD, September 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1866327

OP by MannyGoldstein:

New Method Found To Power The Entire US Without Oil
I just read that our Chimperor fancies himself as Harry Truman, and Mrs. Clinton as Ike.

This got me thinking - Harry and Ike have probably commenced spinning in their graves with enough speed and vigor to power the entire US. I'm sure that we can find some way to tap this.

And just think of the energy we'd have at our fingertips if, say, the Chimperor likened himself to John Quincy Adams, and his dad to John Adams. Perhaps Rummy as George Washington, Mrs. Clinton as Lincoln, and Cheney as FDR.

Wow.

GDP, September 22, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3540372

On a thread by Truthiness Inspector:

      Sharia Law
Would you want that here... ?

response #23 by sfexpat2000:

      I wonder why you'd single out Sharia as something we don't want.
We don't want a lot of things. Like cannibalism or turquoise sectionals. Why Sharia?

response #36 by impeachdubya:

      Because the ISLAMOFASCISTS are coming, and they're gonna subject ya to it!
They have dehydrated themselves into a fine, grainy powder, and they are currently blowing in over the Pacific ocean disguised as Chinese smog particles.

First good winter rain on the West Coast, and it's going to be rainin' ISLAMOFASCISTS! and SHARIA LAW!

Then you won't be laughing, there, funny-lady.

response #53 by Riktor:

      I hope they at least bring Baklava...(n/t)

response #52 by Crunchy Frog:

      Hey, speak for yourself. I kind of like the idea of cannibalism.
:9

response #54 by sfexpat2000:

      I bet you eat chicken, too.
lol

response #117 by Jed Dilligan:

      Reject
Answered without reading thread. Now going back to read thread, see if it contains your point.

GD, September 22, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1875564

On a thread by goodgd_yall:

      Marcel Marceau has died

response #1 by The Straight Story:

      His silence has been silenced
RIP

response #2 by MethuenProgressive:

      .............................
.....................
:cry:
.....................

response #4 by lateo:

      A moment of silence please

response #6 by gratuitous:

      And his last words were . . . .

response #8 by spirit of wine:

      Will he be buried in a glass coffin?
just to keep on with his theme.

response #11 by SeattleVet:

      I understand he went quietly.
It is unknown at this time if there were any final gestures.

Please join us in a moment of noise in his memory!

response #18 by soothsayer:

      You don't say?

GD, September 23, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1884885

On a thread by funkybutt:

      Vitter earmarked federal money for creationist group
"Sen. David Vitter, R-La., earmarked $100,000 in a spending bill for a Louisiana Christian group that has challenged the teaching of Darwinian evolution in the public school system and to which he has political ties. The money is included in the labor, health and education financing bill for fiscal 2008 and specifies payment to the Louisiana Family Forum 'to develop a plan to promote better science education'...

When Vitter's use of a Washington, D.C., call-girl service drew comparisons last month to the arrest of Sen. Larry Craig, R-Idaho, in what an undercover officer said was a solicitation for sex in an airport men's room, Family Forum Executive Director Gene Mills came to Vitter's defense.

In a video clip the group posted on the Internet site YouTube, Mills said the two senators' situations are far different. 'Craig is denying the allegations,' he said. 'Vitter has repented of the allegations. He sought forgiveness, reconciliation and counseling...'"

response #1 by boloboffin:

      He has prayed the diaper away.
Praise the Creating Jesus!

response #11 by tecelote:

      When evolution is outlawed...
...only outlaws will evolve!

LBN, September 23, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3002566

On a thread by dajoki:

      Bush claims B in Econ 101; Let us check the transcript...
"A copy of Bush's Yale transcript posted at the humorous website GeorgeWBush.org ( http://2004.georgewbush.org/bios/yale-transcript.asp ) states that the president received grades of 71 and 72 in Economics.

The president took the course during successive semesters of his sophomore year, 1965-66..."

response #3 by rusty quoin:

      If it comes from his mouth, expect a lie or a burp.

response #10 by AtomicKitten:

      C- magically transformed into a B = fuzzy math.

response #17 by wakemeupwhenitsover:

      From a C- to a B. That must be trickle up economics. n/t

GDP, September 23, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3542786

On a thread by Jeanette in FL:

My night with Helen Thomas
... She took questions from the audience, that were previously written to her on cards prior to her coming out.

The final question was regarding her longevity and how she has been able to live so long, one word “Outrage” she said, to another standing ovation...

response #1 by rzemanfl:

If "outrage" gives one longevity I have nowhere near enough
money saved for retirement.

GD, September 23, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1882236

On a thread by sabra:

Cheney thinks he is more like "the flavor of the month"
"Dick Cheney doesn’t put much stock in the conventional wisdom that he is the most powerful vice president in American history. In fact, he jokes that he is more like 'the flavor of the month...'

response #3 by Greeby:

Didn't know Strychnine had a flavour
Shows what I know :shrug:

GD, September 24, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1888848

On a thread by TSIAS:

      NASCAR Drivers: 59 % Republican, 0 % Democratic
... I'm not saying that we should like/dislike a sport because of its participants political leanings. But it's quite hard for me to care about a sport where no driver will admit, in a private survey, to being a Democrat...

response #4 by GreatCaesarsGhost:

      republicans like going around in circles really fast
and getting nowhere.

response #22 by Lastlaughin08:

      They call it the "Iraq 500" - except the finish line keeps moving away

response #35 by The Gunslinger:

      But they sure turn left a lot............ .................. ...... nt

GD, September 24, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1894424

OP by DuStrange:

DU's Greatest Hits
For my 1000th post...

I've had friends who have looked at some of the threads on DU, and while the topic might be interesting, the thread is so long that they decide they don't have the time to read them. In an effort to assist these people, I think we should take some of the important threads and condense them. I have a few examples...

Circuit City
Person 1: This guy was asked for a receipt while leaving Circuit City. He said, “No!” What a hero!
Person 2: No, he’s an idiot.
Person 1: No! He’s Rosa Parks. You’re a corporate Freeper!
Person 2: Rats! You found me out.

Circumcision
Person 1: Circumcision is wrong.
Person 2: Let parents decide.
(Various deleted subthreads on whether male and female circumcision are the same.)
Person 2: I was or know someone who was circumcised and we’re fine!
Person 1: I was or know someone who was circumcised and they grew up to be a telemarketer.

The Gungeon
Person 1: If guns are outlawed, then only outlaws will have guns.
Person 2: We’re not outlawing guns! We’re just making them illegal so they won’t kill any more people.
Person 1: Guns don’t kill. People kill.
Person 2: Shovel that pantload to the racists at the NRA!
Mods: We’re locking this crap.

Spanking
Person 1: Spanking is wrong.
Person 2: Let parents decide.
Person 1: No, it’s abuse.
Person 2: You need to be circumcised!

Rape is Terrorism
Person 1: Rape is Terrorism.
Person 2: No, terrorism has a specific definition. Not all rape is terrorism.
Person 1: Yes! Rape is terrorism. It is also a floor wax and a dessert topping.
Person 2: Um, what?!
Person 1: Typical patriarchal bullshit!

The 9/11 Forum
Person 1: MIHOP
Person 2: Sorry, can’t buy that. LIHOP.
Person 3: Maybe there actually were hijackers?
Person 1: OCT? No, you troll. It was lasers, missiles, holograms…
Mods: We’re locking this crap.

Religion
Person 1: Christians are assholes!
Person 2: That’s bigotry! Besides, the Muslims are the real assholes!
Person 3: No, all religions are crap. There is no god.
Person 2: You atheists are assholes!

PETA
Person 1: Peta is doing something stupid!
Person 2: They’re helping the animals. That’s what’s important!
Person 3: People Eating Tasty Animals!
Persons 1 and 2: You’re an asshole.

Feel free to add to the list.

response #1 by KitchenWitch:

Olive Garden
OP: Where in Manhattan should I eat?
1st respondant: My spouse and I enjoyed Olive Garden in Times Square
Many People to 1st respondant: Good grief, are you some sort of idjit? Who eats at Olive Garden in NYC? Have you no taste at all?

The Lounge, September 24, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x6962976

Poll question by hyphenate:

      Are you the worst enemy of the religious right?
:bluebox: I am a gay, vegan, liberal, magna cum laude atheist minority woman who has had an abortion and takes birth control pills

:bluebox: I am at least 7 of those

:bluebox: I am at least 6 of those

:bluebox: I am at least 5 of those

:bluebox: I am at least 4 of those

:bluebox: I am at least 3 of those

:bluebox: I am at least 2 of those

:bluebox: I am at least 1 of those

:bluebox: I am none of those--whew!

:bluebox: Other choices? Discuss!

response #3 by getalonglittledoggie:

      I win!! Is there a prize?? n/t

response #5 by getalonglittledoggie:

      Oh yeah, I did great on a Worldview quiz on "how christian are you?"
The highest score you could get was 107. I got a -6! :evilgrin:

response #6 by rucky:

      I can't figure out if they hate or love us Jews.
they seem to take a liking to the notion, but I'm thinking there's some hidden agenda there.

response #8 by BuffyTheFundieSlayer:

      They only want you to die so the rapture can happen.
:shrug:

response #29 by rucky:

      Do they get a toaster if they save us? n/t

response #15 by Marrah_G:

      I'm a witch
Checkmate.

response #85 by Tian Zhuangzhuang:

      Scientific inquiry... You wouldn't happen to
Weigh the same as a duck?

response #63 by Chovexani:

      I got ya beat
I'm a Gothic, Pagan, Bisexual Black/Creek/Roma woman who takes BC pills and was a clinic escort.

AND I'M A MAC USER. :o

At press time, "I am at least 3 of those" was winning with 29% of the votes.

GD, September 25, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1900577

OP by babylonsister:

      OK, who on DU can spell the name of the Iranian prez now?
No more 'that guy' here! :thumbsup:

response #3 by The Traveler:

      You mean the mean little dude from Iran?
Spell it, sure. Say it properly, especially after a couple of beers ... that's another matter. :)

response #4 by Hissyspit:

      It's spelled the way it sounds!
Jeez...

response #18 by Gregorian:

      Cutandpasteinejad?
Nope. Still can't do it.

edit- GOD, I screwed it up!

response #19 by Green Meanie:

      Bush pronounces it Ah'm-in-ta-jihad

response #26 by Catchawave:

      Ahdeathtoamericaiditarod.

response #37 by MiniMe:

      I'm-a-nut-job
Did I get it right?

Other great responses in the thread...

GD, September 25, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1907363

OP by jgraz:

BREAKING: Kerry "not aware" of 2004 presidential campaign
September 25th 2007, 4:28 pm

Kerry: I was not aware that a campaign had occurred

Following allegations that he was involved in a 2004 campaign for president, John Kerry issued a statement today clarifying his obscure role in the incident.

"In 37 years of public appearances I have never had a dialog end this way. In fact, this is the first time I've had one of my dialogs end in any way. I believe I could have handled the situation, but again I do not know what nominations or other exchanges transpired prior to voters barging into the polls. I was not aware that a campaign had occurred until I was called on to congratulate President Bush on his re-election. I regret enormously that a good healthy introspective monologue was interrupted by my inadvertent candidacy."

Kerry also noted that he spent much of 2004 standing on stages or inside auditoriums, apparently referring to the well-known phenomenon in which a person on stage is unable to see or hear events happening right in front of them.

For their part, most long-time Kerry supporters took the news in stride. "I know a lot of people were disappointed, but John Kerry is only one man," said Melissa Torinelli, regional spokesperson for The Senator McDreamy Foundation. "I'm sure had he known what was going on he would have acted differently. But, seriously, did anyone expect him to just jump into the fray and start raising important questions or responding to slanderous attacks? I mean, it's not like he's a superhero."

response #4 by shaniqua6392:

      Booooo!! This post sucks. n/t

response #6 by jgraz:

      Sigh. Geniuses are never appreciated in their own time.
:P

response #25 by cali:

      *snort*
you're having waay too much fun with this, son.

response #28 by jgraz:

      no, I'm having exactly enough fun
:evilgrin:

response #39 by Beelzebud:

      HE'S A HUMAN BEING!!!!111

response #87 by progressoid:

      Well this is a really productive thread.

response #89 by jgraz:

      Yeah, like our other threads are out curing cancer
:eyes:

All this and a flamefest too! The Academy has died and gone to heaven...

GD, September 25, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1905365

Two completely non-political, non-topical threads, just for the hell of it:

On a thread by KitchenWitch:

      Help me out, oh Lounge...List things you would commonly see on a road trip with your family

response #4 by skygazer:

      We saw two people having sex on a haystack last year
:D

response #5 by Parche:

      That Would be the Last Straw
Or would that be his needle in her haystack??????? :rofl: :rofl: :hi:

:popcorn:

response #11 by american_typeculture:

      Gargantuan RVs driven by small, 80 year old men.

response #13 by Crabby Appleton:

      with the left turn signal flashing for the last 500 miles.

The Lounge, September 25, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x6965274

OP by Orrex:

      Whats the best way to ask someone if they are a vampire?
My new roommate doesn't have any mirrors, and he keeps throwing out all of my garlic. Also, I never see him during the day.

I don't want to make him uncomfortable, but I'd hate for him to feel as though he has to hide anything from me.

response #4 by sanguinivorous:

      If he's anything like the self-proclaimed vampires I've seen...
...in various documentaries that touched on the subject, you wouldn't have to ask. Instead, you'd most likely be posting the "How do I ask a vampire if he's gay?" question.

response #9 by Orrex:

      So you're saying that he might be
A closet hemosexual?

response #16 by krispos42:

      More like a casket homosexual....
:hide:

response #23 by Orrex:

      That explains his persistent coffin
I just figured that he was a chain-smoker.

response #5 by Whisp:

      just fry him a stake.

response #7 by BlueJazz:

      Bring home a Quart of Blood and check the next day to see if any of it is missing.

response #8 by Orrex:

      Done and done
I was afraid that I was just being paranoid.

"Vlad, did you bogart my O+ again?"

The Lounge, September 25, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x6967913

On a thread by sabra:

      White House upset over copy of Bush speech posted to U.N. website
"Apparently, a marked-up draft of the president's speech popped up on the U.N.'s website as President Bush delivered his remarks this morning before the General Assembly, USA TODAY's David Jackson reports.

The draft included phonetic spellings of some names and countries, and the cellphone numbers for Bush speechwriters.

Press secretary Dana Perino downplayed the incident, and said phonetic spellings are used to help interpreters. Asked if the president has trouble pronouncing some country's names, Perino deemed it 'an offensive question.'"

Blake Hounshell at Foreign Policy says he has a copy of the speech that got the White House so worked up this morning. Here are some of the phonetic guides it included, according to the magazine's blog:
• Kyrgyzstan (KEYR-geez-stan)
• Mauritania (moor-EH-tain-ee-a)
• Harare (hah-RAR-ray)
• Mugabe (moo-GAH-bee)
• Sarkozy (sar-KO-zee)
• Caracas (kah-RAH-kus)

response #1 by Dhalgren:

      Jesus! (Gee-zus)

response #66 by ironflange:

      To be perfectly honest, I feel a little sorry for Dana Perino
I can't imagine what her job must be like sometimes, it must be worse than putting pigs in dresses. She sure must get a lot of headaches.

response #112 by niceypoo:

      "...phonetic spellings are used to help interpreters":
It's pretty bad when a US president needs an interpreter for his first language.

ROFL

response #265 by okoboji:

      Dan Quayle......
has got to be shaking his head and saying, "I wasn't electable because I spelled potato wrong?"

LBN, September 25, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3005163

OP by Pacifist Patriot:

Qualifications for White House Press Secretary
Must be able to wrestle an octupus into a mesh bag.

Must be able to swallow twelve live goldfish without throwing up.

Must be able to twirl in place like a five year old for half an hour and not fall down afterwards.

Must be able to wrestle a greased pig without getting dirty.

And now: Must be able to achieve fluency in two languages: English and Phonetic Spelling.

I'm sorry, but I have moved beyond stunned and dismayed to flat out amused. Talk about a job I wouldn't want for all the money in the world. Can you imagine the amount of cognitive dissonance required to do this for the Bush administration? It boggles the mind. Truly.

GD, September 26, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1909587

OP by The Straight Story:

      Posts from DU in the 1930's/40's unearthed (and the REAL history of DU)
Before the days of the computer a bright young man, Grandpa Skinner was in college. Most all his friends were in different classes though and he wanted a way to talk to them about things during the day.

It all started (and evolved, more on that in a moment) with a note book (no, not like an apple or dell, a real one with paper in it).
Skinner left it in a special place in the bathroom which only he and his friends knew about. Someone could start a new page with a new discussion, or you could reply to what someone else was saying - or both if you had the time (And we won't get into the secret foot tapping and passing of the notebook under the stalls, I ain't Ken Burns ya know - and there are no Latino's in the story right now, but I will add one later if pressed about it).

Other people heard about it eventually, and more people wanted to participate. People could write things anonymously which helped fuel the desire many had to be heard but not publicly known among their peers for their views.

And so on fine Autumn day DU 1.0 was born. A series of leather bound notebooks that were passed around the school, at the bars, eateries, and even in class. The were titled "The people's underground". Some of the books were specific to politics, some to general news chat, and there was also "The parlor" which was passed around in bars and contained many drunken posts and beer stains (and a few blood stains from fights over posts in it).

Posts in poor tastes were blotted out, and sometimes who discussions were torn from the book. Thus was born the idea of a moderator who was assigned to each book, if someone thought something was bad they took the book to the mod who made the decision whether or not to blot out someone's thoughts.

There is more history, and I hope those of you history buffs out there can add to it.

Now onto some of the early posts:

"Did you listen Colonel Olberman on the mystery hour last night? He's dreamy, and my friend Suzie says she met him once and he really does smoke Laramies! :swoon:"

"WRITE TO CONGRESS RIGHT NOW DAGNABIT!!! They want us in a war with Germany and are trying to make that Hitler guy look bad. Even if he is loading people up on trains, haven't we don't worse by our Indians?"

"Did you see the page Jefferey made in the Parlor book? He is giving away something called a PUzzy award for writing funny things. Winners get a free beer at the Olive Bar on high street!"

"Can you believe that woman? She is BOTTLE feeding a child in public! Doesn't the poor dear have a home?!"

People also began to sign their posts, not with their real name, but a made up one. And some started adding smiley faces. Some really talented people would draw pictures after their comments.

So there you have it, a basic overview of the wonderful history of what is now DU. There is much more to add. Feel free :)

response #2 by zbdent:

      Don't forget the early flamers ...
You idiots are overblowing what a threat Hitler is ... FDR is stacking the deck with his Judicial appointments ... he's going to turn this country into his own private kingdom ..."

response #4 by The Straight Story:

      And early tin-foilers (Pearl Harbor....)
It was MIHOP, that ship couldn't have sunk after being hit by planes and bombs....

response #15 by Catchawave:

      DU this Poll !!!1!
Who's your fav candidate for '44 ?

1. Franklin Delano Edwards
2. Barack E. Dewey
3. Grandpa Kucinich
4. Weird Uncle Nader
5. *No women allowed* or you'll be tombstoned! - crossed out by Moderator buybonds
6. General Wesley MacArther

response #18 by Patsy Stone:

      People outside PU began to challenge Skinner
and his domination of the notebook market.

They began their own notebooks, and called them FreePeople's Republic.

One day, a PUer got a hold of one of the FPR notebooks. Their grammar was appalling, their sentence structure so puerile, and their command of the English language so embarrassing, the PUers couldn't help but laugh heartily and shake their heads.

Later, after it was dark, they went and toilet papered the trees over at the FPR Clubhouse.

response #22 by D__S:

      Did you catch Tokyo Rose on the shortwave last night?
We really need to withdraw from the Pacific right now!

response #23 by bleever:

      Occasionally, people lost their privilege to make posts,
resulting in what was called the "Broken Pencil". In most cases, this was because said person was an ill-intended interloper, or refused to follow the posting guidelines printed clearly inside the first (or "home" page) of each notebook.

One notable exception was a long-time PU poster who in a fit of pique wrote, "SKINNER, BREAK MY PENCIL RIGHT DING DANG NOW!"

Other fine responses in the thread...

GD, September 26, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1911754

OP by 11 Bravo:

      Holy shit! There were 6 African-Americans at a table in the restaurant I ate at last night!
You're not going to believe this, but there was no gunplay, no drugs, and an impromptu rap concert did NOT break out! Someone call Bill Orally.

response #4 by ccpup:

      but they were all drinking 40s, right?
and covered in "bling"? Wait! Did the words "yo" or "homey" come up at any time? Hmmmm ... very strange. :-)

response #7 by 11 Bravo:

      One of them said, "Pardon me, miss, may I please have some Worcestershire sauce?"
Do you think that's some kind of code?

response #9 by Lobster Martini:

      One of 'em put down the Wall Street Journal, placed his Riedel wine glass on a cocktail napkin...
and ate a live gazelle right in front of me. No manners.

response #13 by paxmusa:

      Well, there were 6 male Republicans at the restaurant I ate at last night:
and none of them were in the bathroom for an extended period of time, no one had diapers on, no hired prostitutes showed up, and the menu wasn't written out phonetically--really, it wasn't, I swear!

response #24 by sam sarrha:

      did they all share a trough.. or a separate feed bag

response #25 by paxmusa:

      They were eating kittens and uninsured babies as 33% of the other diners applauded.

GD, September 26, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1910128

On a thread by jefferson_dem:

      Bin Laden may have just escaped U.S. forces
"For three days and nights — between Aug. 14 and 16 — U.S. and Afghanistan forces pounded the mountain caves in Tora Bora, the same caves where Osama Bin Laden had hidden out and then fled in late 2001 after U.S. forces drove al Qaeda out of Afghanistan cities. Ultimately, however, U.S. forces failed to find Bin Laden or his deputy, Ayman al Zawahiri, even though their attacks left dozens of al Qaeda and Taliban dead..."

response #1 by Thor_MN:

      You know, I almost ran into him on the stairs the other day
but since I don't know if we are looking for the fat bin Laden, or Mr. Graybeard, I'm not willing to say that he almost wasn't there.

response #20 by CJCRANE:

      In summary:
they don't know if he was there, but he might have been, and if he was - they just missed him. But if they had more support troops they might (or might not) have had a better chance of capturing him - if he was there.

response #28 by sakabatou:

      Mr. President, we need for boys for the war.
Excellent. More blood for the blood god. More bones for my skull throne! BWAHAHAH! Oh and make sure that our #1 enemy escapes. Muwahaha...

LBN, September 26, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3007411

On a thread by Peake:

      Austrian Court Refuses To Declare Chimp A Person

response #1 by dicksteele:

      They saw what happened when the US Supreme Court declared one a President.
No fools, them there Austrians!

response #5 by Prag:

      They're just jealous of our being the first nation to launch one into high o-
ffice.

See below for a Special Visual Achievement award from this thread.

The Lounge, September 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x6971981

OP by liberaldemocrat7:

      Senator Larry Craig signed to host television show!
Toilet Talk.

Gotcha! LOLOLOL

response #1 by Hubert Flottz:

      But Your Honor, Larry was only looking for the Captain's Log!
Larry knows his shit!

response #5 by KharmaTrain:

      Here's My Hope...
The judge determines Craig should get a new trial...but it must be conducted on TV by Judy Judy...take that deal or the guilty plea stands. :rofl:

GD, September 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1919789

OP by zulchzulu:

Obama forgot to hand the ketchup to his daughter at this morning's breakfast
He was reading the paper when one of his daughters asked for the ketchup for her eggs. The radio was on and Michelle was getting Orange Juice refills by the refrigerator. She had to ask twice! Why Barack, why?

GDP, September 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3554779

OP by yurbud:

Fred Thompson challenges other actors who played president to debate
Beloved TV icon and GOP presidential candidate Gopher Fred Thompson went on the Tonight Show last night to challenge other actors who have played presidents to debate. Several prominent actors were included, and Thompson weighed their relatives strengths and weaknesses, but he also pointedly excluded several and explained why:

ACTORS INVITED:

MARTIN SHEEN

THOMPSON: Sheen is smart, earnest, hard-working, and has played the president on TV for a couple of seasons, so he'll get a lot of those confused voters who think he's already president. No question it's tough to dislodge an incumbent.

On the minus side, he's way too liberal on the show and in real life. And I heard around town his boy Charlie is pretty wild, so he won't go over with the family values crowd.

LENO: And he's short.

THOMPSON: ...and he's short. You can't stand tall if you aren't tall.

HARRISON FORD

THOMPSON: He'll be a tough, tough opponent because he fought off terrorists on Air Force One in that action movie...what was it?

LENO: Air Force One.

THOMPSON: That's right, it was about Air Force One, but I can't remember the name. I do have one advantage over Ford; he's got a very monotone voice. The president has to do that weekly radio address as reading the teleprompter at speeches and repeating what ya hear in the earpiece when reporters ask questions. I've done a lot more voice over work than him--I was the narrator of all those Disney nature movies back in the 60s.

MICHAEL DOUGLAS

THOMPSON: This boy is a real contender. He's got the fire in the belly, and he's a real poon hound. After the Clinton impeachment failed, our focus groups showed that Americans admired a president with a strong heterosexual libido. That gives Douglas a real edge over most of the candidates in the GOP mens room if you get my drift.

LENO: Uh, why are you tapping my foot under the desk, Fred?

GD, September 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1918812

On a thread by Enrique:

      Katie Couric on Dan Rather: "sloppy work is sloppy work"

response #11 by charlie:

      1. Go to Iraq
2. Admit on air that you're seeing what the Pentagon wants you to see.

3. Marvel over an open air market you've visited and declare parts of Iraq are "definitely" improving.

4. Kick Dan Rather for sloppy journalism.

5. Combine a salad lunch, giggly banter, some eyeliner, and Hershey Kisses with death and mayhem, for a new kind of journalism every bit as head-wrenching as Thompson's gonzo, only chirpier.

response #46 by dicksteele:

      "And that's the way my teleprompter says it is!". Pfft. nm

GD, September 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1919304

On a thread by Amerigo Vespucci:

      Raw Story: 'Half-naked' gay leathermen prompt Catholic beer boycott
"William Donahue of the Catholic League told Fox news on Thursday that his organization plans to call for a boycott of Miller Beer over an advertisement for a gay block party in San Francisco. The ad, which includes a scene of a gay leather bar arranged as a parody of Da Vinci's 'Last Supper,' has previously been featured by Fox as an 'attack on Christianity.'

Donahue was particularly offended that 'the money is going to go in part to the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, a notoriously anti-Catholic group.'

'Miller doesn't know what they're in for,' Donahue concluded. Journalist Fred Kerr responded that 'boycotts like this that have happened in the past have failed.'

'No, I had one with WalMart two years ago, buddy,' Donahue interrupted..."

response #2 by mahatmakanejeeves:

      "No, I had one with WalMart two years ago, buddy," Donahue interrupted.
Which explains why there are no more Wal*Marts.

response #3 by Tian Zhuangzhuang:

      Yeah like I need an excuse to boycott Miller beer.
Does miller make a decent beer so I can counteract this blowhard.

response #9 by madeline_con:

       Unfortunately, no. n/t

GD, September 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1926614

On a thread by rusty quoin:

Giuliani: I Answered My Wife's Phone Call Because Of 9/11
"Giuliani also addressed a cell phone call he took from his wife, Judith, last week during his speech to the National Rifle Association, an important appearance because Giuliani clashed with the group when he argued for tougher gun control as mayor of New York.

'And quite honestly, since Sept. 11, most of the time when we get on a plane, we talk to each other and just reaffirm the fact that we love each other,' he said..."

response #16 by daleo:

He should get divorced 908 more times
Then he could marry wife 911.

GD, September 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1932333

On a combined thread by Highway61 and Gman:

New Stalls For Craig's Bathroom
"The infamous airport men's room where Sen. Larry Craig was arrested is getting new stall dividers that drop nearly to the floor to make it a less inviting spot for sexual liaisons..."

response #15 by Yavin4:

That's Going To Restrict My Wide Stance
I may have a lawsuit.

LBN, September 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3009392

OP by BOSSHOG:

      Will all Phony Servicemembers check in here please
Spokesman for the republican party rush limbaugh says if you do not agree that we should be at war forever as bush wants, then you are obviously a "phony Soldier." Calling all Phony Soldiers, Sailors, Marines, Coastguardsmen and Airmen to muster on the hangar deck for instruction and inspection.

24 years in the Navy Phony Sailor present and accounted for

Good thing limbaugh wasn't a phony during Vietnam. He was a coward through and through and made no effort to hide it.

response #3 by sarge43:

      Sir! Yes sir! Reporting as ordered, sir!
21 years in the Phony Freakin' Fly Force, sir!

What are your orders, sir? I feel this need, this need to type at speed, sir!

(Oh yeah almost forgot, fuck rush and the garbage scow he barged in on)

response #13 by lazer47:

      I want to turn in my Phony Bronze Star, my Phony Air Medals
and my phony disability, I will however keep the check that comes once a month, from the Phony Gov.

response #55 by Husb2Sparkly:

      FRD2 Stinky, checking in
That's a new rate, BOSS ....... Fraudsmate

GD, September 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1929685

OP by Horse with no Name:

      Flamebait.

response #3 by Plucketeer

GD, September 23, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1883682

OP by Totally Committed:

      It's Time We Talk About Defacement of the American Flag!

response #1 by melody

response #7 by mcscajun

response #10 by Chipper Chat

response #13 by Poiuyt

GD, September 23, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1884229

On a thread by Melissa G:

      Xpost Spacey to star in HBO's 'Recount'

response #4 by FLDem5

GD, September 24, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1895858

OP by auburngrad82:

      Breaking! Bush administration's Iraq war plan found!

GD, September 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1921663

On a thread by Peake:

      Austrian Court Refuses To Declare Chimp A Person

response #4 by MrCoffee

The Lounge, September 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x6971981

And this exercise in shameless and evidently successful DUzy-pandering:

OP by SoCalDem:

      As DUzyday approaches, one wonders.. Just what DOES a DUzy look like?

GD, September 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1920113