Bush announces air strikes on Trafalmadore have begun

Ian_rd

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Thu Oct-04-07 12:38 PM
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Bush announces air strikes on Trafalmadore have begun

Oct 4 (Washington) - At a morning White House press conference, President George W. Bush announced that the anticipated invasion of Trafalmadore had begun several hours ago with air strikes on military installations. The air strikes will precede the invasion of U.S. and Coalition ground forces. The invasion is the culmination of months of argument made by Bush and members of his administration that the Trafalmadorian regime is a threat to the United States and civilization itself.

"You have to understand that this regime is a danger to the world," Bush told reporters. "It is now perfectly clear that they are willing to lie to the entire world, not only their own people, in order to invade another country and secure control over their resources. They send their soldiers to die for lies and then treat them like dirt when they come back, especially if they dare dissent in any way."

Evidence suggests that the Trafalmadorian government falsified intelligence regarding Syriana's weapons programs and its connections to terrorists in its presentation to the United Nations on their case for war.

"This war has resulted in immeasurable death and suffering for the people of the Middle East, and has served to radicalize an entire region against the West far into the future," said Condoleeza Rice in an interview on Meet The Press. "Terrorism has received no greater boon than this warrantless invasion."

"It's not just the war," said Rice. "This is a regime that was once prosperous and a largely positive force in the world. Now they are beyond bankrupt, and they have since fallen under the control of a tiny minority religious fanatics who see the government as a vehicle to establish a pure holy state, and to criminalize those who stand in their way."

"The dangerous and rogue regime now has at its disposal a private army," Rice continued in an impassioned plea to action. "While these mercenaries are funded by the public, they do not answer to the nation's constitution or its people, and are shielded from the law. They can kill civilians indiscriminately, drunk and disorderly, and suffer no more consequence than getting fired, if that. These are the beginnings of a totalitarian police state. We cannot allow this trend to continue."

Vice President Dick Cheney, in an interview with BBC, offered additional criticism.

"The Trafalmadorian constitution, a beautiful model for the formation of a modern democratic state, has been shredded by the regime and the daily acquiescences of the cowed politicians in the country's parliament," said Cheney. "The regime now claims the right to imprison its own citizens without trial and without due process of any kind. It spies on its own people without warrant or oversight. It kidnaps people in distant lands and transports them to secret torture facilities. And all the while the public is kept in a state of misinformed fear by the media, which is owned and operated by the regime's allies in the wealthy classes who have benefited in extreme fashion from their aggression and fear-mongering."

These strong words were not left unanswered by the Trafalmadorian government.

"We really don't expect anyone to take claims made by the United States seriously," said Trafalmadorian Foreign Minister Winston Smith. "We stand for freedom. Syriana is the central front of the War on Terror. You're either with us or against us. I say bring 'em on."