My daughter's attacker has been caught.

[NC_Nurse]

Many of you may remember several months ago, my eldest daughter was brutally attacked one night at her apartment building in Brooklyn.
The young man responsible has apparently been caught and ID'd by another young, female victim. He was busted for dealing drugs, and the detectives were reminded of the descriptions
given by my daughter, her neighbor and the other victim. My daughter has not had the opportunity to see him in a line up yet, but she said it sounds like they've got him. He's somewhat unusual
looking and fit the description exactly. Her neighbor, who saved my daughter from this guy, said it was him for sure.

My daughter sat through the grand jury hearing today. The guy is only 19 (same age as her younger brother) and has 22 counts against him (drugs, dealing and two violent attacks against her and this other young lady). It sounds like he's had a really tough life. She is bummed because she feels like he should be stopped, but that jail will not help him and will only make him worse. I had to agree with her on that.

I'm glad he's been caught. I am relieved for her safety. But it's definitely not a happy ending. It's just sad. I'm sorry that this ever happened to her. I'm sorry that he's had the life he's had.

Sick, sad world.
:-(

[blonndee]

1. You're a very compassionate person, as is your daughter.

But with his record, his being caught is such a good thing not only for your daughter but for his future victims, which there would undoubtedly be had he not been finally caught. Probably jail won't help him; however, at least innocent victims are getting a temporary reprieve from his attacks.

[NC_Nurse]

4. I know, I am glad that he's been stopped.

I wouldn't want any other to be hurt. Thanks.

[Iris]

35. What an amazing testimony to your daughter's survival.

That she could come out of such an ordeal with her values and compassion still intact. Amazing. Must make a mom proud!

[liberaldemocrat7]

58. I hope you and your daughter continue to heal from this brutal attack.

I hope your daughter and you continue to heal from this brutal attack. Very good to see you have a friend who helped end the attack.

The 19 year old man will get prosecuted and if found guilty he will go away for a long time. Crime must get prevented and stopped.

As for rehabilitation, I agree that he should get rehabilitation. He probably has had a tough life as you said. It doen't justify what he did to people and dealing drugs but he should get a chance to better his life over a long sentence as these crimes merit.

Some people do better their lives after committing crimes and we can hope this happens as often as possible.

[NC_Nurse]

61. I pray for his recovery and my daughter's.

I hope he has the change of heart and mind that he needs in prison. Doesn't seem like a great place for that to occur,
but I know it can happen.

[NC_Nurse]

59. Yes, it does.

[usregimechange]

32. I was thinking the same.

[Dorian Gray]

43. Totally agree...

It's awesome that you feel compassion for the young man, but he attacked your daughter and can possibly hurt others in the future. I'm glad that they caught this man, especially since I live in Brooklyn myself and these crimes are frightening to me.

[NC_Nurse]

63. It is frightening. I know few people get this resolution.

For that, I am thankful. She might never have had the peace of mind of them catching him.
Many don't. I'm glad there is one less violent person on your streets today. May you never
experience this sort of thing. :hug:

[Dorian Gray]

64. Thank you...

You sound like such a caring and sweet person, which is where your daughter came upon her kindness.
I'm sorry that she had to suffer through the pain of this attack. So awful. And through her kindness
she is showing an obvious strength, both emotional strength and strength of character. You did a
good job, Mom! :)

[Gato Moteado]

2. i'm glad your daughter is safe and i think this guy should be locked away....

...from society so he can't hurt anyone else.

i agree the prison and justice system in the states is messed up. non-violent offenders and people that commit victimless crimes should be dealt with outside the prison system. but people that are dangerous to society lose their right to exist freely in that society.

[NC_Nurse]

6. Yes. I think only violent offenders should be locked up.

I just wish they had more luck rehabilitating them.

[jaysunb]

3. You're a kind and compassionate person...

I wish there was more that were willing to think like you...that probably would help decrease the number of angry people like the one who hurt your child.

You made my day !

[NC_Nurse]

8. Thanks!

You're sweet to say that! :hi:

[JuniperLea]

5. Your daughter is a fine young woman

Her compassion is commendable.

Since there is nothing more that can be done for this young man, no other avenue to pursue where he could get help, confinement is really necessary. No one would want this kid on the streets where he could do harm to others.

Very sad, but the silver lining is knowing you raised a fine woman.

[NC_Nurse]

9. Yes, I did. She could've been killed.

Thank God her neighbor was brave enough to open her door.

I think her compassion is commendable and her bravery too.

[Breeze54]

7. I remember that. - Glad to hear that they got him!

:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[NC_Nurse]

10. Thanks. Me too. I was pretty surprised actually.

[H2O Man]

11. I'm glad

that he has been caught. I hope he is convicted, and then incarecerated. Upon incarceration, it will be up to him, and only him, if he uses the time and experience to change for the better, or the worse. That responsibility is not on any of his victims.

[NC_Nurse]

14. True. I did say to her that some people choose to turn themselves around.

I guess I'm just not that optimistic about his chances.

[H2O Man]

30. George Jackson

said that prison will either bring out the best in a person, or utterly destroy them. Malcolm X said that prison is a close second to college for the best place in America to get an education.

I'm not a fan of our prison system, but it is the fellow's responsibility to decide what route he takes. His chances of getting his life straight are greater in prison than they were on the street.

It is certainly a tough time for your daughter, and it is not surprising that she has mixed feelings. I'm glad that she has you to be a support. In a siyuation that has a lot of negative things, you stand out as a very good person. It must be a rough time for you, too. Take care of yourself, and know that you have a lot of friends' support here on DU.

[NC_Nurse]

33. Excellent points.

At least he'll be away from his abusive family. I hope he doesn't just get more abuse in prison.

Thanks for your wisdom and support.

[Frogger]

12. The fact that he

had a tough life is more or less irrelevant to what he did. Lots of people have tough lives and don't assault other people. He made his choices, and should take his consequences.

If your daughter does not feel she needs justice, than at least she should remember that this man can still harm others unless he learns the error of his ways. And in the meantime, he should be kept off the streets.

[NC_Nurse]

16. I think she is conflicted about the sort of "justice" that is needed.

She and I are both glad he won't be hurting anyone else.
I agree that he made the wrong choices and there should be consequences. I'm just not sure that
what happens in our prisons is necessarily what needs to happen for justice to be served.

[Dystopian]

41. Sorry for the trauma that you both endured....

I remember the story...In the end, all I can say is that you are both very strong and beautiful women...With all that's transpired, you both have hearts of gold....
The world would be a better place with more like you...
Very touching....


:hug:


peace~

[KoKo]

13. I remember your post abut that...thanks for the Update...and blessings and Peace

to your daughter in what she's gone through...and is going through.

:hug:

koko

[NC_Nurse]

17. Thank you for that.

I am praying for her, I appreciate your blessings for her too.
illegal codesmilie_remote(':hug:')

[pnwmom]

15. Your compassionate attitude, and that of your daughter,

remind me of the main character in Mr. Ives's Christmas, by Oscar Hijeulos. In the novel, Mr. Ives's son has been murdered, and Mr. Ives struggles to reconcile his faith -- and even to redeem his son's killer.

If you're a fiction reader, you might appreciate this book.

[NC_Nurse]

18. Thanks for the suggestion.

I'll look for it.

[applegrove]

19. Some personality types are beyond giving any empathy to. Sounds

like he may be one of them. I'm happy your daughter is going to get justice. It doesn't always work out that way.

[NC_Nurse]

20. Hard to say. The guy was beaten by family members,

including his mom. Who knows whether he could even be helped. :(

I'm damn glad they caught him though. I know many people never get the relief of an arrest and conviction
for their family member's victimization. For that I am very grateful.

[applegrove]

26. You are a great person to be looking at the world from his perspective

for a while. I read once something to the effect that how we handle the worst things in our lives..if we still maintain our capacity to care for others and our humanity despite some trauma...that is the test of how great a person is. You are great.

[NC_Nurse]

34. ...

:blush:

My daughter is the great one. I admire her.

When she first called me when this happened, I wanted to go up there with a gun and blow his head off. It's weird, I don't feel that way now.
I don't think she ever felt that way.

[applegrove]

36. Hugs to you and yours. She must get it from you.

:grouphug:

[Wcross]

21. Prison won't help him but he needs to be locked up.

He is already as bad as it gets, the only way he could be worse is if he murders. Thankfully your daughters neighbor intervened and we will never know what the final outcome of his attack would have been. No sympathy from me for this scum, I hope he gets a very long stay in prison so others aren't victimized.

[gateley]

22. Sometimes the angriest and most deplorable need our love the most. You and

your daughter are exceptional. We can tell she takes after her mom!

I'm so sorry for your daughter, for you and for all who experience the terror of such an attack. I'm sorry for those who are so lost they perpetrate these acts.

Go in peace.

[NC_Nurse]

23. Thanks for the support.

Just because you have compassion doesn't make you a wimp. Not in my book anyway...

[DesertFlower]

24. prison will not help him,

but letting him off easy won't either.

he may have had a rough life, but he made choices. many people have had rough lives. if his crimes were non-violent, i might have some sympathy. i say lock him up for a very long time.

[renate]

25. you and your daughter are really wonderful

And I'm really glad this guy was caught.

:hug:

[NC_Nurse]

29. .

:hug:

[Warpy]

27. Sometimes getting them off the street is the kindest thing you can do

because that means he won't be attacking other women. It will also mean that he will have access to substance abuse programs (AA and NA meetings at the very least) inside and that incarceration is often the only way these guys can manage to get clean and sober for long enough to start to turn themselves around.

Remember, everything now is in his hands. He's chosen to be a drug addict and a cowardly thug who attacks women to get what he wants. What he does inside the system is also up to him. Either he chooses to change or he gets out and goes back inside in record time for violating his parole.

It's not our jobs to fix these people. If we can set up circumstances where they can fix themselves, that is our best bet.

[NC_Nurse]

31. I hope so. I really hope he turns himself around.

[Bucky]

28. It'll never be a consolation. But if he's ever going to get help, it'll start in prison.

It'll take time for the healing to happen. Give it time and love.

[EFerrari]

37. Your daughter may have just saved his life.

This must be so hard for both of you.

:hug:

[NC_Nurse]

38. That's my hope.

Thanks. :hug:

[Blue Belle]

39. I'm glad they have caught him...

At least your daughter knows he's not still out there doing this to another woman. You both sound like very compassionate people.

[NC_Nurse]

40. great sig line!

And thanks. I love Bill Maher. :-)

[Blue Belle]

44. Me too!

:)

[Beausoir]

42. I remember that. I am glad they caught him.

[NC_Nurse]

50. Thanks.

[AZBlue]

45. I'm glad they caught him - hopefully your daughter will find a little closure from it.

His life has been quite sad indeed. Unfortunately, there's no other route for him at this point but jail. Your and your daughter's compassion, strength and humanity are quite inspiring! :hug:

[NC_Nurse]

51. Yep. I wish there were better options for healing people.

Thanks for the hug! :hug:

[Colorado Progressive]

46. Tough being an empath judging a criminal nt

[NC_Nurse]

52. Agreed. Tough under a lot of circumstances.

[nadinbrzezinski]

47. At one time our jails tried to reform people

one thing jails try at time is to have a meeting between the victim and the perpetrator, perhaps some years down the line. It offers closure to the victim, and actually is a good method of recovery for the inmate

They only do this in some states and with very well behaved prisoners

This may be something to think about years from now

[NC_Nurse]

53. Interesting. I wonder if this man will be

changed enough for her to meet with. I wouldn't want her to be upset by him. Ever.

[FloridaJudy]

48. {{{Hugs}}}

I'm glad this person has been taken off the street, so that his opportunity to harm innocent people like your daughter has been limited. Like you, I also regret that our penal system seems to do a better job of making people even more hardened criminals than it does helping people turn their lives around. With the percentage of our population we lock up, we should better at this by now.

So here are some hugs. You and your daughter deserve them.

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

[NC_Nurse]

54. Thank you.

You'd think they would have it down to a science by now.
I guess a lot of people don't care.

:hug:

[The Backlash Cometh]

49. Your daughter is safe. And that is the most important thing.

The rest we'll have to figure out as we go along.

[NC_Nurse]

55. Yes. Looks like this will drag out for a while.

It was just the grand jury hearing yesterday. Only the beginning.
I hope she doesn't end up more depressed after this whole process.
You're right though, at least she's safe. Phew!

[dsc]

56. I am so glad they caught him

and maybe jail will help him. I know many people in AA who only faced their drug problems after going to jail.

[NC_Nurse]

57. I've heard that too.

Thanks, dsc. :hi:

[dsc]

66. I just hope your daughter is OK

You must have gone nuts being so far away from her when it happened.

[NC_Nurse]

68. She's handled it really well.

It was tough for me. I sent her a bunch of books and a keyring alarm.
I would've given her one of our dogs, but she's a cat person. :-)

[Kajsa]

60. I'm glad they caught him.

You and your daughter are very compassionate people.
I commend you both for thinking of him and his future.

He does have a chance to turn his life around.
Through support programs he will have a lot of direction
on how to do this.

It's up to him, now.

Through my 12 step program I've seen some very hardened,
spiteful people turn their lives around 180 degrees.

A big hug to you and your daughter.

:grouphug:

[NC_Nurse]

62. And to you.

:hug:

Thanks for the optimism. I hope he takes this chance to stop the progression of this mental and physical illness.

[CitizenLeft]

65. Bless you for your compassion

I don't think I could be as understanding. Just very glad your daughter is OK, and hopefully, however it turns out, she can get some closure.

[lateo]

67. That is great news.

[NC_Nurse]

69. Thanks to everyone for their support and kindness.

People here have been very generous in their sympathy and good wishes.
I really appreciate it. :grouphug:

[sandnsea]

70. It's called a harmful consequence

Some people need more than others to realize the path they're on is not going to work out well. It's a good thing that the young man is caught. You could, but certainly aren't obligated, try to find out where he is imprisoned and see if there's some kind of victim's program where you could encourage the young man to get treatment - or make sure he doesn't get out if he refuses the treatment available. Again, you certainly aren't obligated, but if this young man is a violent offender who can not rehabilitate, better it be recognized and someone keeps track of the guy before he killes someone.

Glad your daughter is okay, I remember when that happened. Terrifying. :hug:

[NC_Nurse]

72. Thanks, sandnsea.

:hug:

[Festivito]

71. Thank you for holding your yourselves together so well.

Your words indicate a deep abiding love, a belief in people, the people of this world, above the divisive dictates of those who fear and propagate fear, above, yes above those who break under the fear to perform heinous acts. Please hold. May your deeply moving situation combine with your deep understanding to guide you to help all of us to move a better place for a better future. May this rest inside you such that each greeting, each hug, each tear, move your pain to rest over its time -- and bring you back to deep abiding love you and your family richly deserve.

The attacker needs correction, perhaps for the rest of his life, perhaps in vain, but I feel comfort knowing someone like you is there to see beyond the correction of one person and look to correct what might create such a person as well.

Thank you.

[NC_Nurse]

73. Wow, thanks.

I probably wouldn't be feeling open to empathy if he had succeeded in killing or permanently maiming my daughter.
I feel very lucky to not be in in that position and I understand the blind rage that people whose children are murdered must feel.

That said, I thank you for your kind words. :hug: