Y'know what bothers me about the lady at the airport, who died?

[SoCalDem]

they apparently have released the 911 tapes, and I cannot get over this fact.

The husband said she was suicidal, and an alcoholic, and yet she was traveling ALONE to another state..and not on a non-stop/direct flight.

Maybe it's just me, but if it had been my husband, instead of her, I would have had the kids stay with a friend/relative, and I would have been WITH him on that flight to make sure he got there and checked in..

Money cannot be the issue, because she was traveling out of state to a care facility a long way from home, so why not take that extra step to make sure she got there ?

I'm starting to wonder if they were trying to cover up the fact that she was going to rehab, and put her in danger so that the "social circle" thought she was going to a spa vacation ?

The odd thing is that people KNOW when someone has an alcohol problem, so it probably would have been no big surprise to them anyway.

Family "secrets" kill people..

[malaise]

1. What should worry you is that while they were speaking to

him she was already dead and they were covering that up. They're going to pay for this one.

[SoCalDem]

5. That part worries me too..but the fact remains that airports are not daycare centers

and people who are fragile and sick should NOT be flying alone.

There's lots of blame to go around, but the husband has to be shouldering some of it..

[LisaM]

2. Thanks for saying that

I happen to agree with you. If he was agitated and concerned enough to be frantically trying to call her, why wasn't someone with her? If not her husband, then a friend?

Oh, and p.s. - this case aside, I don't think I like the thought of people who are ready to implode at any moment - when it's KNOWN that they might - flying all over the country. Flying is stressful enough.

[acmavm]

3. Thank you! That was my first thought.

[Catherine Vincent]

4. I hate the fact that she died but I've always said if she was so fragile,

she shouldn't have been traveling alone, imo.

[pitohui]

6. have you ever dealt with an active alcoholic? (serious question, not being sarcastic)

there's a point at which you have to accept that by being their caretaker, you are enabling them

you can't play backup and clean-up for them forever

at some point the drunk has to take some step for herself to clean up her act

apparently the decision was made that she would be better off with some distance from family at a rehab with some distance from family

we can sit and second guess now but i honestly don't see how piling on the husband can be correct

he's probably been cleaning up and covering up for years and was given advice that the enabling has to stop now, one day at a time, just like the drinking

[SoCalDem]

7. I don't recall reading/hearing about her being abusive..but that aside

I guess he's done "cleaning up" now.. He's probably wishing he had cleaned up one last time, and seen her safely to rehab :shrug:

[pitohui]

14. yes, of course hindsight is 20/20

nonetheless, in 999 out of 1000 cases, the world doesn't fall apart the minute the enabler stops enabling and babysitting the drunk every minute of the day, he just thinks it will


it is terribly sad for the whole family that, in this one instance, he failed to enable and babysit and something bad did happen, but that's all it is sad

people second guesing and laying blame here should knock it off

[EFerrari]

8. I read that someone was supposed to meet her and did not show.

I don't have a link, sorry.

And you're right. Family secrets do kill peoople. And the stigma around addiction -- or any mental health issue -- is a very efficient way to get people hurt or dead. That's right.

[LisaL]

10. As far as I know, the only people allowed into the secure area

are the ones who got a ticket. So, how can someone get into the airport without a ticket to even escort a person from one flight onto the next one?

[EFerrari]

12. With a pass. Escorts get vetted and that's that.

It's a bit of paperwork and showing it.

[SoCalDem]

11. The people from the clinic were to meet her at the airport when she arrived, BUT

she missed her connection flight, so there was no way for her to continue to the destination. Apparently another passenger felt sorry for her, so he offered he his seat on the plane, but the airline refused..because of Homeland Security regs.. That's when she went ballistic and started screaming that she was not a terrorist..

[EFerrari]

13. Until we take mental health as seriously as it takes us

this sh!t will continue to happen.

[atreides1]

9. Good Points

But none of us knows what happened! We can't fault her husband or family for not doing something that we might do, not everyone has the same perspective as you do, so why would you expect them to do what you would do?

And until all of the facts are available, I'm not going to assume that they were "covering up" so as not to offend their "social circle"!

[cboy4]

15. I think we start venturing into dangerous waters when

when begin analyzing personal family situations.

The bottom line is it's a tragedy.

[Gormy Cuss]

17. No, by all means let's spread the blame around and deflect the focus.

If her husband/family/friends who knew her sent her alone they must all be irresponsible, because they didn't do what strangers insist they would have done had Gotbaum been a member of their families.

for those in doubt, this post is :sarcasm:

[TheWraith]

16. It may have been something as simple as he didn't want to be near her.

A lot of times people can't stand others, even loved ones, when they're in a certain state. Travelling long hours with someone you love but are furious and/or pained at wouldn't be pleasant.

Further, some people don't have the opportunity to take time off from work.