Parents... Are you afraid when you send your kids to school?

[SoCalDem]

I don't know how I would feel if I still had young ones going to school..and I know that we only hear about it when stuff happens at a school..and not when the thousands of schools make it though another day with no one being shot, but sheeez louise.. I am so sad to keep hearing about kids & teachers going though this stuff..

Is it the access to guns?
Is it the bullying?
Is it the parenting?
Is it the video games/movies/music?
Is it the lack of empathy & counseling?
Is it the kids, themselves?
Is it society?

All of the above?

It's GOT to stop..

School districts/ police departments spend MILLIONS "after" an incident, yet are reluctant to spend a DIME before something happens..

These incidents have caused schools to turn into fortresses, with cops, security guards, fences, metal detectors, and these things still happen..

There HAS to be more to this that a few disgruntled "kids" with access to weapons and a 'score to settle".

I am starting to wonder if all the 'zero-tolerance" for just about everything imaginable is not helping to foster this antagonistic atmosphere..

I am not "siding with" the aggressors, but if just about everything is a suspend-able/ expellable offense, is the policy actually increasing the odds that some kids will "snap" and seek revenge for a perceived injustice?

How does one identify these kids? before they explode in a rage, with weapons? Can they be excluded from the public school experience because they fit a profile?

Their freedom to attend school may eventually cause the deaths / injuries of other innocent kids who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I don't know if kids are afraid at school..mine are grown now, but it's got to affect learning, if kids fear their own classmates. The fear of the "weird" ones, may actually increase the odds that they may act out.

I still think that some pro-active money would go a long way to prevent this sort of thing..

Instead of metal detectors everywhere, the simple elimination of backpacks & bags could prevent a kid from bringing in the weapons.

A school book assigned to every desk and a set of books for the home for each student.. a cloakroom (for winter coats), staffed by a person, instead of lockers, and paper & pens/pencils provided in classrooms would totally eliminate the NEED for students to be carrying around more than a notebook or two..and would probably help the spinal health of a lot of kids at the same time..

[sasquatch]

1. I think you're making too much out of this

Yes it's tragic but let's not lose our minds over it.

[RB TexLa]

2. I don't raise children. But I make sure the doors are locked whenever I drive past a school.

I know it wouldn't stop one of them from shooting into the car, but you do what you can.

[BuyingThyme]

3. When I drive past schools I just open fire.

There's no need to give them the first move.

[RB TexLa]

5. Sorry if I don't laugh with you. I really don't find things like this to be a joking matter

[BuyingThyme]

6. I'm laughing at you.

[RB TexLa]

13. OK, I guess I didn't catch what was supposed to be funny.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

16. Locking doors when driving past schools.

That's fucking hilarious.

[RB TexLa]

17. You read and hear about those kids blowing people away

of course you are going to lock your doors around them.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

19. "of course you are going to lock your doors around them."

I do?

Silly me, I thought I didn't.

Nor do I get paranoid because of overblown news stories.

Did you cover your house in plastic sheeting and duct tape a few years ago?

[RB TexLa]

21. I've never put plastic sheeting on my house, I didn't even know there was plastic sheeting for

houses.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

22. Sure, it protects against WMDs.

You better go out and get some.

[RB TexLa]

23. no thanks

[Lone_Star_Dem]

24. It's useless without duct tape

It's a two tier defense system. First you apply the plastic sheeting then secure it and all crevices with duct tape.

Personally, I'm thinking of wrapping a bus in plastic sheeting and burying it in my back yard. I just haven't worked out the whole need for oxygen thing yet.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

25. I cover my house with tinfoil to protect from chemtrails.

With all that's going on in the news, how can I afford not to?

[Lone_Star_Dem]

26. That explains why they've been out of the extra heavy duty tinfoil lately

Chemtrails, I should have guessed!

I wonder if I can substitute two layers of the cheap stuff?

[BuyingThyme]

40. That's ridiculous.

The weight of the dirt would probably dent the roof of the bus.

[Arugula Latte]

42. Remember the Chowchilla kidnapping case back in the mid-70s?

That guy buried a moving van ... :scared:

http://www.blottered.com/2005/07/1976-chowchilla-kidnapping.html

[Zywiec]

20. LOL

:rofl:

[gollygee]

14. You think a kid is going to run up alongside your car and jump in as you're driving?

Do you do this as you drive past elementary schools? Preschools?

[renie408]

28. Was that SUPPOSED to be funny? n/t

[RB TexLa]

34. No.

[Dorian Gray]

35. Why?

If the kids are IN school, they wouldn't be out and about, trying to jump into your car and mug you.

Schools just aren't THAT dangerous. Why, today I was right by a NYC high school when they got out of classes. And I didn't get scared, hold my purse closer to my chest or see a gun in sight.

[AlCzervik]

4. no i don't worry.

[Marrah_G]

7. I'm more nervous when they are not at school

As a single mother of three teens its a scary world out there. I don't worry about someone shooting them. I worry more about drug abuse,drinking or pregnancy.

[Mrs. Overall]

8. As a mother of two school age kids, I have to say I don't worry.

As a parent I am involved in school activities, give input on policies, attend meetings, know my children's friends and teachers, but beyond that I have no control. Someone could kill them at school, someone could run over them as they walk along a street, someone could bomb the restaurant we're eating at, someone could tamper with my brakes at night, a piece of space debris could crash into my house.....I do what I can to be reasonably safe, but I will not live a fearful life and I don't want schools to be mini police-states.

[Lone_Star_Dem]

9. I think it has more to do with

Some people being conditioned to believe that physical violence is the way to solve problems.

It's a social problem that never results in a good ending.

If you're really concerned then look into starting a program in your community that teaches students safe alternatives to handling conflict with an emphasis on violence prevention.

[jazzjunkysue]

10. I'm afraid when people are taken in by the fear machine, and ask these questions.

I'm a teacher. I'm more of a target by the GOP than any random kid with emotional problems or "terra."

Get guns off streets. Every time this happens we ignore the obvious:

Get rid of all the guns!

[rucky]

11. You're onto something...

Schools need to do more to bring hope to kids who have none at home.

[Katherine Brengle]

12. I'm scared whenever I send my child anywhere I'm not going to be.

We want to protect our kids, keep them safe and warm and comfortable, and when we aren't there, we have no power to do this.

When I saw this shooting on the news, it didn't even shock me. This has become so common, it's not even surprising anymore.

I don't know what we can do other than radically change our entire society, and most people don't care enough to do that.

[Fridays Child]

18. Same here.

Don't like it when they're out of my sight.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

15. ...

"School districts/ police departments spend MILLIONS "after" an incident, yet are reluctant to spend a DIME before something happens.."

"These incidents have caused schools to turn into fortresses, with cops, security guards, fences, metal detectors, and these things still happen.."

Please reconcile these two statements.

"There HAS to be more to this that a few disgruntled "kids" with access to weapons and a 'score to settle". "

What do you think it is?

"I am starting to wonder if all the 'zero-tolerance" for just about everything imaginable is not helping to foster this antagonistic atmosphere..

I am not "siding with" the aggressors, but if just about everything is a suspend-able/ expellable offense, is the policy actually increasing the odds that some kids will "snap" and seek revenge for a perceived injustice?"

"zero tolerance" is a CYA ass measure to keep the school from getting sued when a kid does snap.

"Instead of metal detectors everywhere, the simple elimination of backpacks & bags could prevent a kid from bringing in the weapons."

Zero tolerance for bags and backpacks? Seems like more of the same to me.

[renie408]

27. I think it is that kids are exposed to more these days than they can mentally digest.

I was going to say it is the parenting. But when I look back on my childhood, there were just as many (maybe more) bad parents then and kids didn't go shoot up the school. I got bullied viciously in high school. There were guns available thirty years ago and we didn't get sympathetic counseling.

BUT we also didn't have the constant access to graphic violence or to the kind of information that kids have at their fingertips. And we didn't have 24 hour news cycles where if somebody farts in California, I know about it immediately in South Carolina. All news is local now. When I was in the tenth grade, a kid who lived two streets over from us fed his family sleeping pills at dinner and then took an axe to them while they were asleep. But while it made the local evening news, it wasn't dissected and debated and talked talked talked to death for days. And I would bet nobody outside of North Augusta, SC knew anything about it.

Maybe it is partially the fault of the entertainment/information available to kids today. Kids have access to a lot more violent material than they used to and they are exposed to a lot more information that would have been considered inappropriate years ago. Kids 'grow up' fast these days. But the reality is...not really. We mature at about the same rate that we have for the past several thousand years. So, you get kids exposed to violence while their emotional maturity isn't able to handle it.

[Karenina]

33. We are ALL exposed to much more

than we can digest...

TOO MUCH INFORMATION
IS RUNNING THROUGH MY BRAIN
TOO MUCH INFORMATION
IS DRIVING ME INSANE

Cell phones and Blackberrys mean 24/7 availability. WHO has "down time" unless they have the personality type to demand and aggressively enforce it? We no longer control the technology. IT CONTROLS US.

[LWolf]

29. How about some of all of the above?

Money that comes AFTER something like this doesn't come out of district coffers. It comes from state, it comes from insurance, it comes from the "emergency" fund. I agree that spending money upfront would help.

Here's how I'd spend it:

First of all, I'd spend it on flooding every community in the U.S. with funds to rebuild infrastructure, to build parks, to build schools, to provide safe, affordable housing, clean water, utilities, health care, transportation, jobs, and food for all.

Next, I'd make sure that there were enough school buildings that schools stayed small, and class sizes were capped at no more than 15 for any grade level. I'd INCREASE the adults on campus with a support network: counselors, teachers hired to tutor and provide special services, after school activities, before school activities, help with homework, parent education, community and team-building events, and campus supervision. I say "supervision," because the presence of known adults outside of classrooms and offices deters many misbehaviors and is preventative. Not just "security guards," but adults who have actual relationships with the students.

Since we know that the relationships built between adults on campus, students, families, and community, are the most powerful way to improve school climate and learning environment, I'd provide abundant opportunities to do so. This means more adults, and a more manageable schedule for teachers. As a teacher, if I'm already spending 9-10 hours a day to provide basic service, I'm not going to want to do more even for stipends. I want to be present and participate in these kinds of things outside my classroom door, but I want to do so within my contractual day, so that I'm not cannibalizing my own life and family.

There are some good systems out there for building empathy, respect, and cooperation across a school environment. They have more chance to be effective in the conditions above.

I'd also like to make sure that every student has an adult mentor who follows their career through the years. I'd encourage more K-8 schools, more "looping" that keeps kids with a teacher for more than one year, and on-campus adults whose job is to make sure that every family has the food, clothing, heat, medical care, school supplies, etc.. that they need.

I'd like time (and transportation costs) within the contractual day to do home visits.

All of those things would help address fears of violence at school.

Of course, a culture that didn't glorify violence to begin with would help. How do we achieve a cultural shift like that? Perhaps with all of the above, it might slowly start to happen over several generations. How do we achieve a culture of empathy and cooperation instead of a culture of bullying and competition more quickly? I don't know.

[halobeam]

30. I have more I could add to this,

but I don't have the time right now.. I just wanted to add a note...

The school was locked less than an hour after it ended that when my kid returned for his backpack, and cut his leg, the "security guard" wouldn't even get him a band aid. Said, "Can't help ya son, nurse is gone for the day" and then my son asked to use the phone to call me, and he said no.

Right now I'm too pissed to think straight, so I'll drink my chamomile and be back later. Something's gotta give, that's for sure.

[pliftkl]

31. Responses to school shootings are out of proportion to the threat

How many kids are killed on average in school shootings each year?

How many kids are killed in car accidents on the way to/from school?

Fixing which problem would save more lives?

We have a knee-jerk reaction to human-on-human violence that is wildly out of proportion to the actual risk of becoming a victim of human-on-human violence.

[Catherine Vincent]

32. Most of the parents in my town don't worry about such things.

Their only concern is sending their kids to a school way out in the suburbs where there are no inner city kids around.

[hack89]

36. No - we live in a safe town.

there has been one murder (a crime of passion) in the 10 years we have lived here. And there is little to no violence in the schools. Not saying it can't happen but I refuse to fear the unlikely.

[Evoman]

37. I have found a solution...see my diagram below.

It's just a preliminary model I drew in paint.

[SmokingJacket]

38. I am not the slightest bit worried.

They're only in elementary school. When they're in high school, I think I'll be relieved they're not driving around with their teen friends or partying. Many more kids have died in car wrecks than at school.

[TheFriendlyAnarchist]

39. I would be pissed if they didn't allow bags. Not as pissed as I would be if they did searches,

but I would sure as hell be up in arms with the school board over it.

[Breeze54]

41. My son used to be bullied in junior high and then

the same little creep continued in high school. I tried to keep them separated but the HS didn't know the history and gave them lockers, side by side! Ugh! They took a shop class together and English and Chemistry too. :( One day the little brat heats up a screwdriver, walks over to my son and says; "Does this feel hot?" and then burns my sons arm with a 2nd degree burn! This was in 9th grade. I was so pissed off and tired of dealing with this crap, so I called the Dean and she didn't do anything, so I went to the police station and they told me to "come back tomorrow". WTF? I did and was again told to come back but I refused and I finally got to talk and make a report. They took a report and pressed charges in Juvenile Ct. He had to pay restitution (he never did) and he had to write an apology and was on probation for 3 months, I think and we were given (without request - A Restraining Order). Turns out that the HS never calls the police and the police were PO'd to hear that this crap wasn't being reported in my "safe" town!! :grr: The police had a talk with the Dean! I was mad because this time it cost me $$ for a DR visit and medication and I lost time from work. The brat was eventually kicked out of school. I wasn't "scared" for my kid but really sick of the bullying in the junior high but that principle DID address it! He didn't tolerate any crap! I liked him! I'm really glad I don't have to deal with the schools anymore.