TOP NEWS STORY: Pelosi has Stark Arrested on Charges of Vagrancy

tom_paine

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Oct-20-07 11:24 AM
Original message

TOP NEWS STORY: Pelosi has Stark Arrested on Charges of Vagrancy

Edited on Sat Oct-20-07 11:27 AM by tom_paine

WASHINGTON (BPLSMLL) - This morning, in a move which shocked few, the FBI dispatched agents to the Washington DC townhouse of California Democratic Representative Pete Stark to make an unusual arrest.

Stark was harshly kicked out of his bed while eating crackers, handcuffed and taken to the DC Police station downtown on charges of vagrancy.

Some Constitutional and Legal scholars say Mr. Stark's arrest was a clear violation of the 4th and 6th amendments, but other more prominent and respected Constitutional and Legal Scholars have disagreed, saying the arrest for vagrancy was perfectly legal and in line with the Founding Fathers' vision for the USA.

"I think the whole notion that it is impossible for people to be vagrants while owning homes is an absurd and elitist liberal imposition on our nation," said David Hororwitz a Senior Global Mega Fellow with the Insititute for Academic Freedom, " A strict construction of the Constitution shows no such right of being safe from vagrancy arrest while at home exists. There is therefore no inherent right implicit in the Constitution and the Liberals, as always, have no leg to stand on. It's laughable, really. These moonbats..."

Mr. Horowitz then choked with laughter on his cheese danish.

Another prominent and respected Constitutional Scholar, talk-show radio host Michael Savage, had this to say, "These Liberals just don't get the message. All they understand is violence. Do you hear what I am saying? If we kill 10% of their population, the rest will understand we mean business. And while I have called for the murder of one-hundred million Muslims before http://mediamatters.org/items/200604190001 , cleaning up the Liberal Problem should take far fewer deaths. I estimate no more than SIX million would be required, and that's not even getting our hair mussed," quipped Savage coyly.

Representative Stark was apoplectic, and was last seen on blurred CNNMSNBCFOXCBSGEDISNEY video screaming, "How can I be a vagrant? I own a home! I own three homes!"

We were told by Dana Perino that Stark later needed to be tranquilized for his own protection and safety.

Pelosi had this to say on the arrest, "If Mr. Stark thinks his wearing of an Impeach Bush t-shirt makes him immune from the laws and morals of the Homeland, then he is in for a rude awakening. I only hope this sets a precedent for all the ne'er do wells and vagrants in America. Mr. Chertoff recently told me there may be as many as 74% of Americans who are vagrants, and we MUST stop this epidemic before it disturbs Washington's cocktail parties and banquets."

Officials at the Office for Heimat Security and National Mental Health said Mr. Stark will undergo special therapy at the George HW Bush Hospital in Langley, VA, after which he will make a full statement of apology and a hollow-eyed confession of his crimes against the Leader and the State.

Uh oh, I think I violated DU copyright rules by posting more than four 'graphs. SOMEBODY ALERT A MODERATOR!