Hi DU. Just Wanted To Quickly Check In And Say Hello.

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

Hi all,

Firstly, thanks to Midlodemocrat for notifying me of a thread posted by Helderheid this morning. I haven't had a chance to read it yet (I'm at work), but will read it later.

I just wanted to give an update on what's been going on, and I appreciate that I'm still in many of your thoughts.

I guess I should primarily start out by saying that I'm hanging in there, and considering the circumstances I'm doing ok. These past 2+ months have been the toughest I've ever had to go through, and in some ways I find things getting harder each day rather than easier. The stunned part has started to subside (though it's still kinda there) and instead is being replaced with the horrible reality that she's just simply not coming back. It doesn't matter how much I cry, how much I grieve, how much I beg, how much I wish or how hurt I am. It just doesn't make a difference. It is what it is and none of that will change a thing. That hurts so bad to think, but it's also something that will help me continue to move forward. I keep reminding myself over and over that I have to continue to move forward down my new path and embrace it, and that no matter what I do I can't change the past. All I can do is make the best of whatever awaits me next. But am I still very much devastated? Absolutely. I still haven't watched any tv with exception to my Rangers games, and the only reason I could do that is because we never shared them together. But as far as the regular tv we would watch, I still find myself having no interest in sitting down and just watching them. I'm just not ready for that yet I guess. But I will admit though that in the past week or so, I have finally felt my personality begin to come back. It's kind of like I'm co-existing inside of myself now, with half of me feeling dead and devastated at my loss of everything (perfect family, wonderful wife, future wide open etc) and that is stuck in the past, and the other half rising above all that and forging forward with a positive attitude and renewed strength, while being aware that I have to and that I have to be the best for my kids.

Speaking of my kids, overall they're doing well. They have been running me ragged like you wouldn't believe as they are both amazingly energetic, too smart for their own good, creative, defiant and stubborn, but they're also two of the most amazing kids I've ever seen. The youngest has been doing really well and none of this has fazed him too much, but I fear my oldest Justin is having a harder time with it. He was difficult before all of this, but now it's getting a lot worse. I even had to speak with one of his teachers this morning about it, and we both threw our hands up in the air as to how we can calm him down a bit. I will say though that I'm trying really hard, and am trying to listen and console him, yet discipline him when necessary, as best I can. He's just been really emotional in the sense that he gets frustrated and angry at the drop of a dime, and then the tantrums ensue. But I'm working on it, and I hope with time, patience and persistance that I can correct the behavioral issues. I think a lot of it is not only due to the loss of her (he does miss her immensely), but also due to the loss of simply another person around him other than me, that can give him attention. He requires a lot of attention and it's impossible for me to give him all that he wants right now. He often will say "I want big family. We only have 3 now", and will every single day say that he wants to go to this one's house, or that one's house, or wants aunt sheri to come over, or Geri to come over, etc. I think part of it has been that after the Funeral, we really have had much help or company. Her sister's devastated as well and hasn't come by much, and my sister has only come a few times. So I think he's crying out for more interaction and play time from others, but I'll have to work on getting them for him. On a positive note though, his 4th birthday party was 2 Saturday's ago and it went great. We went to an indoor play place and he had a lot of people there. They all had a blast and things went great. I was quite pleased with that, and that I was able to give that to him. I know she would've been proud.

But dealing with the kids as a single father on my own has proved to be amazingly exhausting. I have the world of respect for single parents everywhere (especially with more than 1 child). But that combined with how busy I've been at work, as well as with all the household things that have to be done like baths, shopping, laundry, cleaning, etc, has most definitely kept me busy. Then ya throw in all the financial crap, and accounts/debts/follow ups crap, and ya get someone who has very little time to do just about anything anymore. That's why I haven't really posted here much. At first I just didn't have it in me to go on here at all, but now it's more a time and energy issue. I still do browse occasionally though, and sometimes when I'm at work and waiting for a query to finish or something, I'll click on a quick thread or so. I've posted 2 or 3 times recently out of impulse, just to kinda dab my toes in the water. I'm hoping in the future I will be able to be active here a bit more again, but for now I'm still just kinda existing and hanging in there the best I can. I do really miss posting here though, and I'm sure in the future I'll be back just fine. Like I said, in the past week I have felt my personality coming back quite a bit and I feel like I'm beginning my new life a bit. I just have to work on getting to sleep and then figuring out how to not have the haunting ass nightmares that seem to come every night. I figure that's normal for something like this, but I can't wait to just sleep through the night again. Hopefully that 'phase' goes away sooner than later.

Anyway, I know I've babbled my ass off quite a bit in this, but I'm a bit tired and just typing off of my head. I'll probably read it later and think "jeez, I shoulda typed something completely different", but I guess for now it'll do. Just know that when it comes down to it I'm hanging in there, and the boys are really doing well. Even though the oldest is having some behavioral/frustration issues, I think that's more than to be expected and overall he's actually still a great kid and will be fine. If it's one thing I'll pat myself on the back for through this, is that I know I've been a great father to them through this all. I've been there for them in every way I possibly can, and give them every bit of love, attention, discipline and patience that they need. I'm learning as I go though, but I know I'm doing well with them and I am proud of that. But holy cow, is it an exhausting friggin task lol. But I know she'd be proud of me, and that means a lot.

So enough of my babble (I always say that, don't I lol). I really appreciate the thoughts here and I will try and post more here and there when I can. It's just things are really hectic right now and it's been hard to find the time, but I hadn't been thinking that some were concerned as to whether I was truly ok or not. My apologies for not checking in and at least saying that much.

So that's it for now, but I will be posting soon at least in some capacity. Some of you reading this with warmth towards me, may very well be hating me again before ya know it! Ok, just kidding, but you know what I mean. Thank you all for your thoughts, and I love ya all.

Miss ya DU,

Jeremy/OMC

[Catherine Vincent]

1. Hi!

We missed ya! Be well! :)

[jefferson_dem]

2. Take good care, OMC.

:hug:

[slackmaster]

3. Thanks for the update

:hi:

[Bake]

4. Glad you're reasonably OK, and great to hear from you!

Hang in there. We miss you!

Bake

[laylah]

5. Thanks for the update,

OMC. I think of you and boys often and hope all is getting better as time passes. I see that they are. :hug:

Jenn

[TZ]

6. Good to hear from you, my friend

Hugs to you and your family--:hug:

[robinlynne]

7. Lots of love to all of you. You are an amazing man.

[MadHound]

8. Good to hear from you, and good to hear that you are doing as well as you, and your kids, are

Know that my warmest thoughts go out to you. It sounds as though you and your family are progressing through this tragedy about as well as can be expected. It is a long hard road coming back from something like this, but it sounds like you are well on your way. The next big bump, for you and your kids, are going to be the upcoming holidays. Take care of yourself and your kids, and have some people close to you for support during this time, you'll need it.

Get back here when you can, we'll be here. We just want you to be healthy and happy.

Take care, and know that you have my warmest thoughts.

Peace:hi:

[uppityperson]

9. Best wishes to you and yours OMC.

[peace13]

10. Good to hear from you.

I send you positive energy to help you through the days. Give those little guys a hug. Peace, Kim

[Ilsa]

11. Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry. I wish I could help.

There can't be much of anything worse than children losing a parent. If I lived clser I'd offer to help with the kids somehow. I wish I knew someone close enough to recommend taking the oldest to, like a family therapist.

You and the kids are in my thoughts.

[Greyskye]

12. Good to hear.

:kick: for OMC and friends.

[iconoclastic cat]

13. It's good to hear from you, OMC. nt

[ancient_nomad]

14. Hey there, OMC!

It is so good to see you! There isn't a day that goes by I don't think of you and the boys and wonder how you are doing. It sounds like you are doing ok considering the difficult path you now walk.

Post when you can, and if you don't get to before Christmas, I want to wish you all the Peace Christmas brings.

God Bless!

[stevedeshazer]

15. Hang in there, buddy.

Life must go on.

Best wishes.

[immoderate]

16. Good to know that you're OK.

Sounds like you're making it through. Always good to see your posts.

--IMM

[in_cog_ni_to]

17. I'm so glad you checked in! I'm glad to hear things are going OK for you and your boys.

Take care of yourself and I hope to see you more often.

[tom_paine]

18. Good to hear from you, OMC.

You've got a lot of good energies, thoughts and prayers being directed at you by a lot of people.

[OneGrassRoot]

19. We've never interacted, even here at DU...

but I felt like I've known you forever as I read your sharing.

I feel for you and your children tremendously. I won't try to say anything further.

Please know that you touched me deeply and I send positive energy your way, for you and your children.

[mike_c]

20. good to hear from you....

Glad to hear you're getting through this.

[SeattleGirl]

21. Good to see you, OMC.

I truly cannot imagine what you are going through, but from what you posted, you ARE doing a good job, especially with your kids.

Keep hanging in there as best you can.

:grouphug:

[racaulk]

22. Confession time: I had you on my ignore list for a while.

Just because I found some of your posts to be a little bully-like and obnoxious. It wasn't until I read someone's thread (I don't remember whose thread it was) about your wife's condition that I removed you from that list to check in and find out what was going on. I'm ashamed that it took the death of a complete stranger to make me stop and realize that we're all humans with the same feelings and vulnerabilities, and I think it's too easy to forget that when we're communicating with anonymity on an Internet message board. I apologize for dismissing you so easily.

Thank you for checking in with us, OMC. My heart truly goes out to you and your family for your loss. And you know that you're a great dad to your children, please keep doing so--you all definitely need each other during this time. Keep your chin up, and I hope things will continue to get better for all of you.

:pals:

[Frustratedlady]

23. I'm so glad to see your post. I have thought of you and your boys so often.

Yes, you do have your hands full, but I have no doubt you will be able to navigate through all the challenges...and, there certainly are challenges.

Although the boys are too young to understand fully what you are going through with not only the loss, but learning everything needed to get through the day with all the single-parenting responsibilities, don't forget to save some time for YOU.

Is there some type of group your son could become involved in that would pique his interest? I'm sure he's too young for most, like scouts, but there may be other groups he could fit into and meet new friends/occupy his mind with new things and new ideas. Just a thought.

Bless you all and, just in case we don't hear from you for a while, have a wonderful holiday.

[jackster]

24. so good to hear from you...

I've thought of you often and wondered how you and your family were.

Life goes on

[MissWaverly]

25. I am so sorry for your loss

I wish I could say there was an easy answer but there isn't one, the only thing you can do is keep connecting with others here and
in your community to get the help you need. Be kind to yourself and when you fail forgive yourself, if you can possibly cut corners
like making soup in the crock pot with single servings of frozen veggies with some meat and from one of those precooked chickens from the market do it, buy the frozen manicotti shells, you can microwave them in a glass pie plate in 5 minutes, all you need is the
shells, tomato sauce and some canned diced tomatos. The dry cleaners will take bedspreads and tablecloths and a good one will
mend broken shoes and torn clothes. You can replace the rubber flapper and the handle on your toilet yourself,
it takes 5 minutes and always buy lots of toilet paper. I know a guy that ran out of toilet paper after his divorce and almost
imploded, his wife had always bought it. If you have never used a crock pot, get one, they are great and will take the pressure out
of meal times, they make great apple sauce which kids love, only used tomato paste instead of stuff from the jar, the jar stuff
gets too strong with slow cooking, no work to clean just soak. Good luck, glad you came back on it, I was wondering how you
are doing. Most of my soups I like to add a onion and some premade chicken broth.

[BrklynLiberal]

26. Thank you for taking the time to let us all know how you are doing...

I thought about you several times in the past couple of weeks...wondering how you all were doing.
It is rough trying to be both parents to your kids..but it sounds like you are up to the job, even tho it is exhausting.
Time and tears are the only thing that seem to get us thru things like this.
Good to know that you are coming thru it. It appears your sons are keeping you so busy that you have no choice. :D
Take good care of each other...

Looking forward to seeing more of your posts in the future.

[Warpy]

27. Four is a tough age. He doesn't understand death

he just knows his mother went away and isn't coming back and he's pissed off about it. I don't know what to tell you about those tantrums, except that regression at this point is perfectly normal. You just don't want to encourage it, so walk away from it when it happens and talk to him about how angry he was and why he was angry and what different things he might do about it in the future as soon as he calms down. He's hurting and he needs to talk.

So do you. I hope you've found people you can talk to. They can help.

[Lugnut]

28. Glad to hear you're hanging in there.

If there was anything I could "fix" for you I would in a minute. A {{{hug}}} will have to do. Take care, Jeremy.

[judaspriestess]

29. only best wishes for you and your boys

always........

[MagickMuffin]

30. After reading your post and how much time you need for your boys

I started wondering if perhaps you could hire someone to do some of your tasks for you.

If you could afford to hire someone to do the shopping, laundry, house cleaning, etc. you would have more time for your boys during this difficult transition. It's never easy raising a family with one parent.

Thx for posting.

[TahitiNut]

31. We can only ever do our best, fella. I offer you my best thoughts and wishes.

Keep doing your best ... for YOURSELF and the boys. Embrace the BEST of memories and let the rest expire. Keep your eye on the prize, arms around your sons, nose to the grindstone, shoulder to the wheel, ear to the ground, heart on your sleeve, and ass in gear. Then go to a chiropractor. Preferably young and beautiful.

:hi:

[Stinky The Clown]

32. Your boys are lucky to have a Dad like you.

And you're lucky to have kids like them.

Peace, my friend. You're doing fine.

[A HERETIC I AM]

33. No words......

Can express how much you have my respect and my sincerest condolences. Though i don't know you personally, i have enjoyed reading your posts these last two years. I know i am not alone in feeling particular anguish for your loss.


My hope is that you find all the strength you require, and through your wisdom, greater patience. May they increasingly provide you with peace.

[No DUplicitous DUpe]

120. Nice post, Heretic, That's just how I feel too.

Thank you for sharing your feelings with us, OMC.

My thoughts are with you and your children.

Take care.

[mmonk]

34. It's great to hear from you OMC

I hope with time, things will be easier but seems that you are doing a good job handling everything. I'm confident that with your love, your kids are going be just fine. We all miss you. Best of luck Jeremy.

[Mnemosyne]

35. .

:hug:

[nonconformist]

36. I'm so so sorry OMC

:hug:

[AzDar]

37. All the best to you and your family. Remember to take care of yourself ...

(it can be astonishingly easy to forget in times of difficulty)
Be well.

--- Darlene

[donheld]

38. You have been in my thoughts

Wishing you well :hi:

[hedgehog]

39. Be kind to yourself the next months.

[elehhhhna]

40. always loved ya, always will. Keep your chin up.

Elena

[Sparkly]

41. Thanks for posting, OMC

I wish I could think of some brilliant advice to help with your 4-year-old, but of course I can't. I'm sure it's very difficult for you, but it's great to hear you're getting stronger and doing what you have to do.

:hug:

[cali]

42. I miss you OMC

but I'm so glad to hear from you. My thoughts are with you and the kids, particularly Justin.

love,

cali

[FloridaJudy]

43. It's so good to hear from you

Being a single parent is the hardest job on earth, but it sounds as if you're great at it.

I think of you and the boys often. I'm sure it's going to be a rough holiday season, but it will get better.

In the meantime, here's a hug. :hug:

[qanda]

44. (((OMC))) You are still in my thoughts and prayers...

[SallyMander]

45. :hugs:

Thanks for checking in OMC. All the best to you and your boys. :hug:

[G_Leo_Criley]

46. omc - thanks for checking in...

all best thoughts going out to you and the children.


glc

[ourbluenation]

47. 111,314 hugs to you and your family

:grouphug:

[KamaAina]

127. 111,315

:hug:

:P

[TorchTheWitch]

48. sooo glad to know you're hanging in there!

I know I'm not the only one who's been worried about you and how you've been fairing. We really miss you too! Don't feel obligated to post though if you're too busy or tired... it would be nice if there's someone you keep in touch with from here could periodically mention how you're doing though or if you need anything.

Miss you lots! :hug:

[gatorboy]

49. It kills me to read what you've gone through.

But you sound like you have some great kids. Take care, man.

[eridani]

50. All single parents are heros

You especially. Best wishes for the holidays, which can't help being hard.

[LSK]

51. Take care OMC

:hug:

[B2G]

52. Jeremy, you are in my thoughts & prayers

Your attitude and heart amaze me. I'd like to think that I could handle things with as much grace as you have, would it be me.

I've read your posts here for years, and have always admired you & the way you conduct yourself. That sentiment has increased tenfold. Be well, my brother. You can do this.

[JeffR]

53. OMC, a lot of us have missed you and have been hoping you're

doing OK. It's good of you to check in.

Hoping you'll be able to post more when primary season hits. It's nuts here already, of course, but come '08, we need your voice among all the voices here.

Wishing you strength. Take it day by day and take care of yourself.

[cal04]

54. good to see you checkin in

as a single parent of four I wish you all the best and a lot of hugs to you and the kids
:hug:

[motocicleta]

55. Much love to you and your children, OMC

I have an inkling how hard this must be, having lost my dad up close and personal some years ago and now having two little ones. That inkling tells me I cannot imagine how big the sorrow really is. Just know we are thinking of you and wishing the best.

We can put each other on ignore later. ;-)

[applegrove]

56. Don't forget to take care of you too. You are right to be focussing on

the child who is feeling it the most. Think of this year as a time for those kids and you to grive - so you all can come out the other side with a renewed connection to the world.

[fed-up]

57. thanks for checking in at DU- sending lots of hugs your way to you and yours nt

[The Straight Story]

58. K&R for you my friend (nt)

[riderinthestorm]

59. How wierd is that - I was thinking of you this morning and voila! Here you are!

Holiday hugs and hopes for a peaceful season for you and the boys....

[NC_Nurse]

60. Thanks for the update and I'm so glad you're okay!

Sounds like you're doing a great job with your boys. Hang in there. :hug:

[liberalhistorian]

61. OMC, my heart still breaks for you and for

those precious little boys, especially Justin. I'm glad you've checked in to let us all know how you've been; it sounds like you're doing the best you can, especially for your sons. I know that nothing any of us, (or anyone, for that matter) can say will ever make a dent in your pain and feelings of loss. But know that we're all still keeping you in our thoughts and sending you strength, especially for single parenthood. And be sure to try to make the time to take care of YOU and not just the boys and the house, etc., etc. Otherwise, you won't be any good for anyone.

And, while it's probably not much consolation, I do want you to know something. I got married not quite two weeks ago to the true love of my life, the one I thought I'd never meet. Given that I'm in my forties and he's in his fifties, you never know what can happen or how suddenly. I did think of you and Stacey and another friend of mine who lost her husband suddenly several years ago. I realized that it was important to really and truly appreciate every minute I got to spend with my new husband, as you never know if it could be the last one. And not just in the abstract, either, as everyone pays lip service to the need to do that. I mean in real, true, literal reality. So, that's what I try to do every day.

God bless you and the boys, and please keep checking in here often. The holidays will be especially difficult, I'm sure, and we'll be thinking of you.

[1620rock]

63. May the peace of Christmas comfort you.

:hug:

[Batgirl]

62. The fact that in her absence, you're trying to handle things

in a way that would make her proud of you really says a lot as to what a deep bond you had with her as your partner. And makes it so clear what a great injury was inflicted on you and your boys with her loss. For whatever it's worth I hope you and they can just keep going and that things will continue to improve for all of you even if it's just a little at a time.

[annabanana]

64. Thanks for checking in.

Kids grieve differently that adults do. Don't hesitate if you think Justin might benefit from some interaction with a professional...

(holding you in my thoughts, fondly)

[southerncrone]

65. We miss you, but YOU have your priorities straight for this time in your lives

Politics is important, but young children are MORE important. Heal your family & when the time is correct, we will still be here.

Best of luck on your new journey.

[OzarkDem]

66. Thanks for checking in

We're thinking of you often and hoping all is going as well as it can. You sound like you're handling it well, but it must be so difficult. You're right, its a long journey back and must seem like its so slow at times. I hope you and the boys get all the support you need right now. All the holidays are hard, especially this first year after, but we'll be praying for you all.

[Maat]

67. Please take care, OMC.

Thanks for posting; our positive thoughts and prayers continue to be with you.

:grouphug:

[GoneOffShore]

68. Hang in there - Hold onto the good memories & think what she'd want you to do.

[Cabcere]

69. Wonderful to hear from you, OMC!

:hug: You and your boys are still in our thoughts & prayers, as I'm sure you know, and I just wanted to say how much I admire you for handling this so well. I can't even begin to imagine the pain, but you are a strong person and I know you'll carry on and help your sons to do the same. :hug: Peace be with you all. :grouphug: :pals: :hug:

[KitchenWitch]

70. Hey, take it as easy as you can.

You have been in my prayers.

[Synnical]

71. There you are!

Always missed. Condolences, friend.

-Cindy in Fort Lauderdale

[Haole Girl]

72. Thank you for checking in

My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you and your boys. Sounds like you are doing a super job with them, though it sounds so tough. Many hugs... :hug: :hug: :hug:

[Bennyboy]

73. Please get yourself and the kids some therapy.....

A support group, something.......I twill really help you out and the sooner the better before you have a lot more stuff to deal with.

Get a sitter and go once a week to some type of group or something. Have the kids go seperately. You can see it is effecting the kids already. If it goes much longer you will ahve all this other crap to deal with when now you only have one thing.The school might be a place to look there, try the counselors....

IT is very nice to see you here and I think about you all the time and wonder how you are doing..

BTW< I have been through the same thing as you have. Exactly. So I am not blowing smoke up your ass, I know of what I speak. make the time and go, it will help you get through this.

grieveing parents, look it up in your community guide and go. SOON.

[MrMickeysMom]

74. I am very sorry for your loss, OMC

I think the few times I've interacted with you were probably quite argumentative. That all goes away now. What I want to send are very best thoughts for you to stay strong for your kids and keep well.

Take care-

Lois/MMM

[mzteris]

75. Hey -

I don't know how you do it.

Glad you and the boys are doing better.

If you ever want - don't forget there's a "parenting group" on DU.

Thanks for letting us know how yall are doing.

:hug:

[Shine]

76. Thanks for the check-in, Jeremy

we're all continuing to hold you and your family in the light. :hug: I really appreciate how open you've been with us about your grieving process. I wish you healing and peace. :hug: I think you're a wonderful father, too. And you're right, Stacey would be proud....and is, I'm sure. :thumbsup:

[Whoa_Nelly]

77. Am here for you 100%

Never lost a spouse, but was a single parent for 15 years.

and no matter what...am here for you :hug:

Changes...always happening whether we want them or not, more :hug: hug: :hug:

[Beaverhausen]

78. We miss you - I miss you

Sounds like you are doing as well as can be expected. Glad you checked in.

Here's hoping things get a bit easier for you. Don't be afraid to ask for help. :hug:

[Bluestar]

79. Thanks for the update and here's sending good strong energy your way

Some of us don't know you personally, or haven't yet argued with you, but we're still interested and concerned with how your new life is going. My thoughts are with you.

[abq e streeter]

80. So glad to hear from you

even if the tears are welling up from reading your message. I hope the love and prayers from so many strangers here on DU has been of some at least small comfort to you. Joy and laughter and happy times will return to your life one day (sounds like the birthday party was a small start); I swear this to you. God bless you, Jeremy, from Ron (abq e streeter)

[Beelzebud]

81. Thanks for checking in man.

I miss arguing with you. :D

[mogster]

82. Thanks for the update, OMC

Sending a thought to your kids, it's difficult to lose their mother. Kudos for hanging in there :-)

[calimary]

83. Hi OMC!

Thank you so much for checking in! Your absence was very much noticed!

Thanks for such a detailed, newsy note - it may well help to share this stuff, even those parts that might seem a little trivial.

I find it extremely therapeutic to write. Probably why I blather so much and at such length here. It may help you, too. Just remembering to put one foot in front of the other might help. Sometimes putting your mind on hold and just go on autopilot - that might help. I remember when each of my parents was dying - that's what helped get me through it - that, and a St. Jude holy card I kept in my wallet from this "please take one" display at the hospital.

Hug and kiss those babies every chance you get. You will find HER in them. As they grow, you will SEE HER in them.

Write to them. Write them letters and stash the letters away in a special box for when they turn 16 or 18 or something and it becomes meaningful. Call it "Notes about Your Mama" or something. Write down your memories, your recollections, the little details, the seemingly insignificant minutae. Describe how it was with her when each of them was born, what she did - special - with each of them, songs she sang, the stories she shared, the stuff she said while she fed and bathed them, the work it took to get one of them to fall asleep, how she groused about all that laundry, all the little private everyday stuff that weaves a family tapestry, the dreams the two of you shared about them. Write about YOUR feelings and how you are coping. Share YOU with them, as you are living through this and struggling to make a go of it without her. You're the only parent they have. They should know you as fully as possible and eventually come to appreciate how you got through it (it will be MOST valuable and informative to them as men, to know this, because you will be setting them a wonderful and classy example of how it SHOULD be done, and how to face adversity with grace and honor and courage). As time passes and those times recede farther and farther in memory, you'll all be glad you documented it.

And don't be afraid or ashamed or reluctant to ask for help. Let your friends and neighbors help you. The good ones will ALWAYS want to.

Much love and calm to you. You are in our prayers.

[LibDemAlways]

84. Thanks for taking the time to check in. My husband

lost his mom at a young age. Ultimately, his family adjusted as best they could, but the void was always there - so I imagine it feels impossibly hard and lonely right now.

Keep in mind that your DU friends are here anytime you need a collective shoulder to lean on. Take it one day at a time, and take good care of yourself for the sake of those beautiful boys.

We miss you too! Come back when you can.

LDA

[HCE SuiGeneris]

85. Wishing you strength... and peace.

Be well.

[murielm99]

86. Take care of yourself and your boys.

You seem to be doing as well as can be expected at this point. In some ways, it is good that there are three of you to help each other through it. Your kids sound wonderful.

I hate to say that it will get better, but it will. It will not go away, but it will change. You will always have your love, your memories, and your boys. You will heal and learn how to live a different life. I lost my first husband when I was 27. The pain is real. But for me, it was 32 years ago. I moved on, lived, and raised a family.

Please guard your physical as well as your emotional health. I know that I am a stranger to you, but let me know if there is any way I can help.

[bridgit]

87. sup, homey, was just wondering about you these last couple days...

hope all to be going as well as could be expected :hi

[puerco-bellies]

88. Thank you for posting.

Peace to you and yours.

[Cooley Hurd]

89. A wish for a peaceful holiday to you and yours, Jeremy...

As one who has experienced more Christmas tragedies than I'd wish to recall, may I offer my sincere wish for Peace to you and your children in this most difficult time.

Peace, my friend.:hug:

[JCMach1]

90. You are missed here...

good to hear the kids are doing well...

take care of yourself...

Don't forget to do that!

[Pierogi_Pincher]

91. Hi OMC,

you were more strongly on my heart the last few days. Continued prayerful remembrances of you and your boys. Thank you for posting.
Love,
P_P

[ClayZ]

92. Keep on keeping on, OMC. Good to see your post!

K and R

[blondie58]

93. Jeremy- thanks for this babbling update

and you come back when you are ready. Calimari is right though, writing can be a real catharsis. And don't forget, DU's lounge has many topics that will be helpful to you- parenting, cooking and baking, etc.! It sounds like you are all doing as well as can be expected, the only thing that will help is time. Take care- Dawn

[avrdream]

94. Jeremy, thanks for putting it all into perspective.

While you were away, there have been many squabbles (for lack of a better word) here on DU, some becoming stupidly personal.

Your return to us reminded me that there are real human beings behind these posts, for better or for worse.

I'm a single mom of twin 9 year olds and I understand fully what you are going through with the time management stuff. Long deep breaths, buddy.

[Subdivisions]

95. I have you and your boys in my thoughts, OMC. n/t

[Sugar Smack]

96. I miss ya, OMC.

The news about your eldest strikes a chord with a lot of people. He's lonely without his mom & he wishes he could fill the hole with as much company as he can. I'm thinking about you. I wish you the best.

[shaniqua6392]

97. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the boys.

It sounds like you are doing a terrific job. Just take it one day at a time. Don't forget to take care of yourself too. Have a blessed Christmas and I hope the New Year brings you and the boys peace and happiness. Thanks for checking in.

[malaise]

98. In time the pain eases

and beautiful memories flow.

[Virginia Dare]

99. Hang in there and stay strong...n/t

[NewJeffCT]

100. Thanks for posting

Everybody on DU is behind you.

[tavalon]

101. So very familiar

Not your exact circumstance but moving on after a loved one has died, that I recognize as I've had this happen four times with the first being my mother when I was eight. I've never lost a life partner to death though. I wish I could say I can't imagine it, but I can only too well. And if it happens, I am quite sure I will find it totally different from my imagining.

Thank you for touching base. We care as you know. It's times like these when it's really good not to hang with the Freepers, ya know?

If there is anything we can do, please let us know. I know that sounds trite, but I also know that we raised 50,000 dollars to try to save a mans life, so we can do amazing things here but we need to know what you need.

Hugs from a fellow survivor. They say it gets better and even I will say it but I won't say when or how. Life will. Take care of yourself even as you take care of your little ones.

[Beausoleil]

102. Good to hear from you!

Take care, OMC. We need you back to liven things up!
:hi:

[Debi]

103. You and your family are in my heart OMC n/t

[Le Taz Hot]

104. How weird

I was just thinking about you yesterday and here I see your post. Thanks so much for checking in and letting us know how you're doing. Keeping positive thoughts going your way.

LTH

[spanone]

105. we miss you

take good care

[Dorian Gray]

106. All my best to you, Jeremy

I think that your awful and horrible situation has also made people realize that we are actually posting with people. People who have awful things happen to them in their lives. People who we should always try to respect, even if we disagree with them.

I'm sorry for your loss and your continuing struggle. Your strength is an inspiration, though.

[loudsue]

107. (((((BIG HUGS!!!!)))))) To you and your young'uns, OMC!

So glad you checked in! I've thought about you and your kids so much since you've been going through this whole ordeal.. and yeah, the reality of it all (the time element... that your loved one REALLY isn't coming back) starts settling in usually between 5 and 7 weeks after the death of someone so close. The dreams, the deep, deep sorrow, the void. It is so terribly difficult.

But the healing DOES begin to come, slowly, even though the scar always remains. I promise you, it will get better with time. And while you're waiting for that time to pass, know that there are so many of us here that are holding you and your kids in our hearts and prayers.

Keep up the good work!

O8) Many blessings to you, my friend. O8)

[RB TexLa]

108. Peace

[tomp]

109. i wish you peace.

many years ago i was where you are now and i feel for you.

[BleedingHeartPatriot]

110. OMC, it's so nice to see this post on the top of the Greatest.

Thank you for taking time to let us all know how you're doing and hugs and love to you and your wonderful children.

I had to laugh at your last paragraph....it seems that you're beginning to contemplate a return to your full OMC persona, LOL, burr meet saddle. :-)

:hug: please take care of yourself :hug:

MKJ

[madrchsod]

111. good to hear from you and-->

we really do`t hate anyone,we just put them on ignore!

[bigscott]

112. Peace

and prayers :pals:

[Ellen Forradalom]

113. Thanks for stopping by

You are doing a stellar job under the circumstances. We love you, friend.

[swimmernsecretsea]

114. I'm thinking of you. nt.

[juajen]

115. One day at a time, dear, one day at a time.

All the best to you and your precious ones. Remember to keep her memories alive for your children. Though hearing stories about her and seeing her photos are difficult for you, they will provide continuity for your little ones. God Bless.

[Kajsa]

116. Thanks so much for checking in, OMC.

You are doing a great job with your boys.

They are fortunate to have a dad like you.
You are fortunate to have them.

Take good care of yourself.

I think of you and the boys, often.

Love and Hugs to all of you.

:hug: :grouphug:

[Laurab]

117. Thank you for posting - thoughts and prayers are with you. n/t

[midnight]

118. Bless you OMC. I wish that peace and comfort for you and your

children will come and subside this grief.

[Clinton Crusader]

119. I am so sorry, OMC

I take it your wife passed from breast cancer. I too, am being treated for breast cancer. It's a long road to go down, 9 months so far for me. You are an amazing person and I am SURE your wife was a brave woman. Every single woman I have met so far through my own journey has proved to unbelievably brave and strong, that it absolutely amazes me. Every single one.

I wish you peace and blessings and the strength you need.

[ceile]

121. Good to hear from you.

:hug:

[Cha]

122. Hang in there

tough guy! You're showing an amazing amount of strength..it's a long road but you're doing what ya have to, with tremendous courage. :hug:

[AikidoSoul]

123. Hugs, brother. Am wishing for the best

for you and your children.

I don't know how old your children are -- but at any age it's difficult without the mom.

Hope you have surrogate moms in your family who can help out.

Good to see you back long enough to update us. :hug:

[yardwork]

124. I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like this is a very difficult time.

As a mother of two boys, I can't imagine how difficult it would have been to lose their father when they were young. Children require a great deal of patience, attention, and energy at the best of times.

I hope that your friends and relatives will help out a little more. Play dates and visitors sound like a very good thing right now - they will provide a sense of security and normalcy for the kids and a slight respite from grief and exhaustion for you.

Sending my thoughts to you.

yardwork

[redqueen]

125. Thanks for checkin in... you are missed.

:hug:

[KamaAina]

126. Mele Kalikimaka a me Hau'oli Makahiki Hou, E OMC!

[Divine Discontent]

128. Hi OMC

my thoughts, and my prayers, are with you and your kids. I always admired your posts, and you're one of my DU journal favorites.

To say I am saddened for you is obvious, but remember, your loved one is always with you in spirit & in thought & dreams, and you sound like such a loving father... I am getting sappy eyed just thinking about your plight, but I am happy for you that you have those wonderful kids to help keep you smiling. I thank you for sharing your pain & your hopes with all of us here at DU.

:hug:

"I-will be watching over you
I-am gonna help you see it through
I-will protect you in the night
I-am smiling next to you...in silent lucidity"

[Hekate]

129. Thanks so much for dropping by for the visit. You know you are all in our hearts...

:hug:

Hekate

[gademocrat7]

130. Thank you for checking in OMC.

You and the boys are in my prayers.

[AllyCat]

131. Hugs to you OMC and to your beautiful children

You're a great dad.

[Summer93]

132. Be Well

Thanks for your sharing.

Single parents need more compassion. I know because my husband died when our son was 2 1/2 years old so, I was a single parent for many years. My son is now an adult and has children of his own. He adores his children and makes time for them each day. He has turned into a great parent. The joy of my life. He and his wife gave me two more joys in their children. Our children teach us a great deal about life.