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Some recent press claims that Huckabee wanted a Constitutional amendment to deny citizenship to some children born here spawned excited enthusiasm on the Republican party's Knights of the White Magnolia flank.
Since the Huckabee campaign has now disavowed the story, the watchdogs of the press will immediately forget it, without any inquiry, much as they will forget much last week's odd spectacle of Huckabee carelessly showing everyone his negative ad in order to clarify his opposition to negative ads.
But the episode started me thinking, which (depending on who you ask) may not be an entirely bad thing, although, of course, it is not always popular in political circles.
Anyway, this is what I started thinking.
Republican campaigns for many years have included an obligatory constitutional amendment controversy. While I usually try to laugh these off, despite my best efforts I now and then find myself barfing in a bag anyway. But what if I am wrong? What if (bless their pointy little heads) the Republicans are onto something here?
Maybe, for example, we really do need a flag amendment. I don't mean the Republican version, which seeks to protect Old Glory from gangs of coke-crazed illegal aliens who want to cut it to pieces with their vile machetes. I mean a constitutional amendment to ban display of the treasonous confederate flags. Frankly, I resent seeing those dirty rags fly. For me, this is a basic family values issue: I have a whole slew of cousins who never existed because one or more of their forefathers got killed back then before meeting the foremothers. Folks who want to be with the Confederacy ought to spend more time in old graveyards, where they can remember that more Americans died in the war those pro-slavery bastards started than any war before or since.
And maybe, for example, we really do need a marriage amendment. Again, I don't mean the Republican version, which seeks to protect me from the possibility my neighbor might date a communist whale who believes in evolution. I mean a constitutional amendment to limit the reproductive rights of hypocritical idiots. Although it wasn't that long ago that they were all chortling about "neutering" Democrats like dogs, I am not advocating sterilization surgery -- even though I think it must be completely legal under Republican theories of jurisprudence, since people can be sterilized in non-life-threatening ways that do not cause major organ failure. What I mean is this: anybody that has kids ought to care. If they don't care, they shouldn't have kids. People who don't give a damn when kids die because the insurance company has decided medical care is too expensive, shouldn't have kids. People, who don't want kids to have access to basic reproductive health care information and services, who don't want kids to know how to avoid sexually transmitted diseases and who don't want kids to have the option of being vaccinated against STDs, shouldn't have kids.
And what about citizenship? Whether or not Huckabee is talking out of both sides of his mouth, feeding one story to some of us while winking slyly at others, maybe we do need to re-evaluate what citizenship means and entails. I don't think we need the Republican amendment that would decide whether to ask mothers to prove citizenship if baby wasn't rich enough or white enough. But maybe the SOB's who think that unnecessary wars are fine and torture is dandy really don't deserve to be treated like citizens: maybe we really should just ship them off to a secret prison somewhere and forget them
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