Young Men Stuck in Adolescent-Adult Limbo

[wuushew]

Today's single young men hang out in a hormonal limbo between adolescence and adulthood

It’s 1965 and you’re a 26-year-old white guy. You have a factory job, or maybe you work for an insurance broker. Either way, you’re married, probably have been for a few years now; you met your wife in high school, where she was in your sister’s class. You’ve already got one kid, with another on the way. For now, you’re renting an apartment in your parents’ two-family house, but you’re saving up for a three-bedroom ranch house in the next town. Yup, you’re an adult!

Now meet the twenty-first-century you, also 26. You’ve finished college and work in a cubicle in a large Chicago financial-services firm. You live in an apartment with a few single guy friends. In your spare time, you play basketball with your buddies, download the latest indie songs from iTunes, have some fun with the Xbox 360, take a leisurely shower, massage some product into your hair and face—and then it’s off to bars and parties, where you meet, and often bed, girls of widely varied hues and sizes. They come from everywhere: California, Tokyo, Alaska, Australia. Wife? Kids? House? Are you kidding?

Full article

http://www.city-journal.org/2008/18_1_single_young_men.html


NPR Talk of the Nation link

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=18482794






Is this a dig at men? I fit many of these characteristics, although lacking the misogyny component. Why should young men be criticized for their alternative outlook on life? The traditional family structure that the post-WWII period characterized was about keeping up with the Jones, massive consumerism and politcal mistakes like Vietnam.

Ever increasing higher education costs are preventing people from realizing the date by which they are fully financially independent. Supposedly the glass ceiling kept women down, but now that they are outperforming their male counterparts we are slackers. Its hard to win.

[Fed_Up_Grammy]

1. That portrait of the 1965 white guy is a crock. eom

[grasswire]

5. in what way?

Please elaborate.

Many young men in those Vietnam years were married and with children to avoid the draft. That's one difference that affects the lifestyle of young men today. No draft to avoid.

[Lex]

8. At 26 my dad was married with 2 kids and not because of the

draft either.

He married at 21. Still married today to the same lady, my mom.

[gollygee]

13. My dad wasn't married at 26

He was playing the field and living with his mom. LOL

That was 1964. He did finally meet and marry my mom in 1965.

[Fed_Up_Grammy]

15. Most of the 26 year olds I knew in '65 had already been in

the service and had completed 4 years of college,or were attending college.

Vietnam was not yet a big factor in 1965.

It was a very general,broad brush picture of a generation.

[Jed Dilligan]

2. I would never get married

because it is still a discriminatory institution, nor would I buy a house because their value is hyper-overinflated. Does that make me a child? I don't think so.

[msongs]

3. depends on whether they are sponging off their parents or not nt

[mrreowwr_kittty]

7. That's what I think too.

There's nothing wrong with men, or women, choosing not to follow the 2.5 kids-and-a-white-picket-fence life script. I'm getting rather tired of these unqualified busybodies making pronouncements about what people 'should' be doing with their lives in order to be deemed mature.

[Lex]

11. yes, it would be one thing if they could point to it and show

how happy those people are (the 2.5 kids and picket fence folks) but no, not necessarily

so why the big push

it's ridiculous

[mrreowwr_kittty]

14. Thank you.

If the traditional American family model (which was an economic and cultural invention of the 1950s) is such the optimal way to be, then why do so many people reject it or fail at it?

[TommyO]

20. If I followed the script, I would be 43, married with 2 kids and miserable

As it stands I'm 43, gay, single, and while not miserable, certainly not fulfilled, though working on that.

[MercutioATC]

4. She's absolutely right. Men should live up to their cultural stereotypes.

Of course, that puts women back in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant, doesn't it?

What a self-important ass this woman is...

[Lex]

6. Hell, lots of things aren't like they were in 1965.

Who is this author, Captain Obvious?

[DemBones DemBones]

10. Colonel Cliche. nt

[Lex]

12. Admirial ADD

nt

[ToeBot]

9. I've seen this adulthood thingy of which she speaks, It's horribly overrated. nt

[seabeyond]

16. and women are waiting a hell of a lot longer to marry, if at all seeing how the men

arent really as necessary as they use to be and the women can fuck around, play and have fun right along with these 26 yr old not wanting to grow up men.

then..... in their oh so selfish modes, they finally do decide to hook up they dont have a clue how to be selfless and stay married and parent a child.

but hey..... as long as we are all having fun.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

17. A lot of men end up trying to live on their own, failing, and going back home, sometimes to a single

mom who raised them. We're living in odd times, I think.

[dbackjon]

18. If only the gays had never been allowed to destroy the sanctity of marriage

None of this would have happened.


Oh wait, gays can't marry...

[Skittles]

19. get with the program, wuus

don't you know that if you're not married, breeding and paying a ridiculous mortgage for an overpriced piece of crap house you cannot be a responsible adult? YOU GOT TO PLAY BY THE RULES MAN. :o

[Adenoid_Hynkel]

21. It's was the Beatles and those haircuts

it all went downhill from there

[lumberjack_jeff]

22. Arrested development is becoming the norm.

My own belief is that the archetype of "a man" has become a caricature. Depending upon whom you listen to, it's either Chuck Norris, Homer Simpson or "that low-life deadbeat father of yours".

It's small wonder that young men choose to remain boys as long as possible.

A contributing factor is the increased perceived need for advanced education. I think there's a good argument to be made that one becomes an adult when (s)he stops withdrawing from society (e.g. school) and begins contributing.

[NashVegas]

23. I Don't Think It's a Dig, Per Se, But It's Men + Women Both

And it's troubling. More and more people are having their first children in their late 30s, risking DNA breakdown. That will be more children growing up with parents who are old enough to be their grandparents.

You've got to hand it to the fundies on one thing: they understand that singles withholding from pre-marital sex promotes marriage.

Trouble is that's not marrying for the right reason, as we all know.

Still, there's a lot of truth in the old adage: why buy the cow when the milk is free?

[AX10]

24. The world has changed.

Conservatives are blind to this reality. We are living longer. We don't have to have children by 25 anymore.

[Chovexani]

25. Cliffs Notes of this article

BLAH BLAH DAMN KIDS BLAH BLAH GET OFF MAH LAWN