What would be the best way to torture the truth out of g.w. bush?

[Philosoraptor]

Torture is cool now, thanks to w. and his torturing buddies, if it was ever necessary to torture the truth out of president bush, what would be the preferred and most effective method?

Water boarding? Harmless overall, but unpleasant nevertheless.

Sleep deprivation? We all know the pres. likes to say beddy bye around 8 p.m.

Wearing ladies underwear on his head? It might not look presidential.

Terrified by dogs? Barney isn't that terrifying, but certain pit bulls are.

Forced to smear his own shit all over himself at gunpoint? Abu Ghraib pranks anyone?

Forced to lie naked in a pile of other naked men? Hell, he might actually enjoy that.

If it comes down to torturing the truth out of w., how shall we proceed?

[Perry Logan]

1. Force him to watch episode after episode of "South Park."

[Kutjara]

2. Take his scotch away.

Within a few hours, he'd have the DTs so bad, he'd sell out his mother for a drink.

[Tesha]

3. Make him watch "V for Vendetta" and "Children of Men" and then write cogent essays about them.

Imprison him, make him watch "V for Vendetta" and "Children of Men",
and don't release him until he can write cogent essays about them,
comparing and contrasting the themes in those two movies with
actions his own administration has taken.

Tesha

[ixion]

5. I don't think he's capable of doing anything cogently

really. Looking at his track record he's not capable of doing anything but screwing things up royally.

[Tesha]

19. (I'm actually counting on that so that it works out to life imprisonment)

And every day he'll be challenged by the certainty that he's
a dolt.

Tesha

[ixion]

21. good call...that's where he belongs

but I wouldn't give him such good flicks to watch. I'd let him carve his essay with a rock on a cold stone floor -- something like the Chateau D'if in the Count of Monte Cristo.

[Tesha]

25. Ahh -- maybe we should only give him the SciFi channel...

Ahh -- maybe we should only give him the SciFi channel
with their astounding array of incredibly crappy "made
for TV" movies.

o It Came from Texas!

o Armadillo!

o Sandstorm at the Pig Ranch!

o Etc.

Tesha

[ixion]

29. lol... there you go... much better

:rofl:

SciFi channel made for tv movies are the worst!

:rofl:

[ixion]

4. horses would be good... he's scared of horses... or better yet

real labor, rather than the photo op 'brush clearing' crap. Having never done a real days work in his life, making him do hard labor would be fairly effective, I think.

[A wise Man]

6. Put him on the front line in IRAQ

"ALONE"

[Echo In Light]

7. I'll be the stick in the mud and opine that my being against torture includes Bushites

:hide:

[Philosoraptor]

8. Against torture? How un-American!

[Echo In Light]

10. Ha..yeah. Guess so. My wife and I don't even watch sports or "prime time tv"

How un-American is that for you?

:sarcasm:

[blondeatlast]

35. I'll join you on the party-pooper couch; I heartily agree.

This might be a first!

[Flatline]

9. Take his $$$$ away.n/t

[ornotna]

31. Then give it to Katrina victims. n/t

[Philosoraptor]

11. Put him in the same ward with Britney.

[radfringe]

12. tie him to a wild rabid horse

with no saddle

[Philosoraptor]

13. Take a lie detector test regarding JEFF GANNON, male prostitute.

[madrchsod]

14. Room 101-horses

[w8liftinglady]

15. I was thinking a marathon spelling bee.

[Philosoraptor]

17. Spell "Albuquerque" mr. president.

With rabid dogs inches from his naked genitals.

[Freedomofspeech]

16. Make him read newspapers and watch the news.

[Philosoraptor]

18. Make him read about what people really think of him.

[WilliamPitt]

20. Make him work an anti-union Walmart gig.

Fire him when he fucks up.

Oppose his attempts to get unemployment benefits.

Cut off his health care bennies.

Give him a bad recommendation whenever a potential employer calls for a reference.

Ya know...treat him like any other working American.

Then see if he lives through the year.

Place yer bets...

[countryjake]

23. and take away his stool when his legs swell up...n/t

[Philosoraptor]

22. Locked in a room with dick cheney O.D.ing on Viagra.

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

24. Sit him down, tie his hands behind his back and put 20 bald guys in front of him.

[frogcycle]

26. make him watch the entire set of Olbermann Special Comments on a continuous loop

maybe mess with the vids a little - do that thing where you repeat the same bit over and over for the parts where he says stuff like "you are a liar, Mr. Bush"

[Generic Other]

27. Let Stephen Colbert waterboard him

OMG, what a lovely visual image to start my day!!!

[bdamomma]

28. maybe waterboarding.

[Philosoraptor]

32. It IS harmless afterall, & so very effective, & bush approves it.

[malaise]

30. Force him to ride a horse like the

'wanna be' John Wayne cowboy he tries so hard to emulate.

[peekaloo]

33. Put him in a room with his naked mother.

[sinkingfeeling]

34. Sit him down in Iraq without a gun or anyone to protect him in anyway. Place a sign around his neck

proclaiming in Arabic who he is and stand back.

[donsu]

36. show him totally naked, to the world. he worries bigtime over his looks

nt

[HCE SuiGeneris]

37. Put him in a corral of wild horses.