The 20 worst Valentine's gifts--- By Mark Morford

[madokie]

Love means never accidentally running over her cat with a lawnmower. Also, avoid these

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2008/02/13/notes021308.DTL&nl=fix

Oh my God your girlfriend will so totally like, melt! And think it's so adorable and love you deeply and even perhaps orally for maybe like, five whole minutes! At which point all her love and attention and cooing sounds will turn to the cat, and for the next 17 years everything will take on a tangy, sour smell and patches of itchy rash will appear randomly all over your body and you will swear Mr. Snuffigans is sucking out your very soul as you sleep, and your girl will no longer want to do that really dirty thing with margarine and the strap-on and the video camera because the goddamn cat always seems to go into a hacking hair ball fit whenever you do and she gets, like, all worried, even though you are completely convinced the cat is totally faking it in a nefarious ploy to thwart your dreams as long as you live. Get a ficus.

9) Phlegm, in vial.

10) Hammer, used.

11) Emoticon, minced, in fish oil. ...

[Fleshdancer]

1. #1 and #20 are the best!

#1: Copy of $3.1 trillion Bush budget.
Do not tell that special someone you love them by gutting arts funding in schools, mental health services, Medicare and Medicaid and programs that bring low-income kids to Washington as you create record deficits and humiliate the nation once again, all in an effort to offset a massive increase in Pentagon spending and to fight horrible, unwinnable wars and to appease your dad. Reminder: Dick Cheney reads this instead of Hustler.

#20: Mitt Romney


:rofl: