Atheist sees image of Big Bang in Piece of Toast

[Ichingcarpenter]

For immediate release: Miracle Toast?

(ACPA-London) Excitement is growing in the Northern England town of Huddlesfield following the news that a local man saw an image of the Big-Bang in a piece of toast. Atheist Donald Chapman, 36, told local newspaper, "The Huddlesfield Express" that he was sitting down to eat breakfast when an unusual toast pattern caught his eye.

"I was just about to spread the butter when I noticed a fairly typical small hole in the bread surrounded by a burnt black ring. However the direction and splatter patterns of the crumbs as well as the changing shades emanating outwards from this black hole were very clearly similar to the chaotic-dynamic non-linear patterns that one would expect following the Big Bang". "It's the beginning of the world" he added excitedly. Images of the actual Big Bang Toast are Copywrighted by Don Chapman so we can only show this image which is a US Govt Public Domain Picture

Ever since news of the discovery made national headlines, local hoteliers have been overwhelmed by an influx of atheists from all over the country who have flocked to Huddlesfield to catch a glimpse of the scientific relic. "I have always been an atheist and to see my life choices validated on a piece of toast is truly astounding" said one guest at the Huddlesfield Arms Hotel.

To the surprise of many, the UK National Atheist Association has asked its members not to pay attention to the story despite its potential to inspire less Faith. "Given what the religious believe already, this is an easy sell" said one disgruntled activist who said he was going to Huddlesfield anyway noting that "Seeing is not believing".

http://duggmirror.com/comedy/Atheist_Sees_Image_of_Big_Bang_in_Piece_of_Toast/

[Skinner]

1. Come to think of it, it does look kinda like how I would imagine the big bang looking.

[Bright Eyes]

4. I always thought thats what god looked like.

A big piece of toast.

[L. Coyote]

5. Everybody send Skinner more hearts LOL

[Ichingcarpenter]

6. I've booked my ticket to England just 13.7 ± 0.2 billion years ago

to review this piece of toast for myself and hope to purchase it
so I can put it on e-bay.

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

46. It's the dual Universe aspect that I find most fascinating.

Life may be butter on the other piece of toast!

[lumberjack_jeff]

51. Very good point. Is the universe toasted on one side or two?

Scientists on either side of the atlantic disagree.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

59. The bigger question is...

How come Jesus looks like my grilled cheese sandwich?

[gollygee]

2. hehehe

ok, that made me laugh. :D

[liberal N proud]

3. I love it

[ProgressiveFool]

7. mmmmm Toast... mmmmm *crunch**munch*

[Dhalgren]

8. K&R! I got chills just reading about it!

[displacedtexan]

9. FINALLY!!! EVIDENCE!!! Unlike this...

... which explains those Jesus and Mary sightings.

Jesus is Everywhere.

Sometimes,
We need a little help to see Him.

IseeJesus.com provides assistance to You and your Customers
to see the Spirit all around us.

Our Artists will come to your Establishment to Pray for Creation.
Through their Special Prayer Techniques,
a Holy Visage will be invoked and made Visible for all to See!

What happens next is up to You.

DISCLAIMER: We cannot be held responsible for the resulting huge number of people rushing to your business, house of worship, building, farm, restaurant, car lot, or retail outlet of any type to see the Holy Divination.

Good times. Good times.

Tee hee.

[DemGa]

10. Now this is true faith! ...nt

[sinkingfeeling]

11. Is it on Ebay yet? I might bid on that piece of toast.

[JHB]

12. I once saw Groucho Marx in a piece of toast...

And it looked lovely on him.

[AlbertCat]

45. Shouldn't that be.....

"I once saw Groucho Marx in a piece of toast...

How he got in a piece of toast I'll never know"

(y'know that old Groucho joke: "I once shot an elephant in my pajamas... How he got in my pajamas I'll never know...." Of course you do.)

[JHB]

55. Too derivative. I needed to be more upstanding than that...

...but I guess you didn't recognize it standing up. :evilgrin:

[demmiblue]

13. OK....

I was planning on using my first post elsewhere, but this made me laugh! Thank you for the moment of levity!

[crispini]

15. Welcome to DU!

Enjoy the fun. :hi:

[demmiblue]

21. Thank you, crispini!

I have been lurking here for years... yet I chose to register during the Primary season!

[crispini]

22. Ha! Well, we are certainly having a VERY interesting primary this year.

A good time to register! :thumbsup:

[tandot]

14. It was actually a very frequent sighting in the 80s:

who wouldn't remember big bangs?

[Kazak]

16. Touche, douche!

:thumbsup:

[O.M.B.inOhio]

17. I once saw the Virgin Mary on a slice of toast...

... and on the other side an image of Elvis sodomizing a sheep. The Toaster works in mysterious ways. So I'm not sure which religion not to belong to.

[orleans]

37. the religion doesn't matter--it's the hallucinogens that make all the difference in the world. n/t

[KansDem]

18. Great! Now just have the image show up on a tortilla and a slice of potato

...and we'll have the Trifecta!

Then there would be no doubt about it! :woohoo:

[immoderate]

19. Smokin'!

--IMM

[donsu]

20. I love Donald. I love his wit. super

nt

[jmondine]

23. Even more miraculous...

... he then sighted the image of life beginning in the primal ooze within his strawberry jam!

[SIMPLYB1980]

24. LOL!

[sloppyjoe25s]

25. Hard to see this as anything BUT critical evidence of the truth

mmmmmm...... i love toast.

[Jeffersons Ghost]

26. K&R too funny for words!

[Miss Chybil]

27. ROFL! nt

[rhett o rick]

28. A pilgrimage is in order. nm

[rhett o rick]

29. I had a big bang once back in college. Damn that was good times. nm

[Pastiche423]

30. Only one?

So sorry.

[rhett o rick]

31. It's ok, I deserved that. lol. nm

[Ichingcarpenter]

32. Kick for the evening crowd who might need some humor

[malaise]

33. Fall down funny

:rofl:

[varkam]

34. Aha! We now have teh proofz!

:rofl:

[progressoid]

35. That's going out in a few emails tonight!

K/R

[Ichingcarpenter]

36. Thanks, this guy is a great english humorist

so pay attention to his writings.

[D23MIURG23]

38. Brilliant!

[spoony]

39. Ironically, for many years atheists argued there was no beginning

Then Rev. Lemaître comes along with the Big Bang and now atheists think they can use it to ridicule the religious, when it's actually what we've been saying all along. It's not like theists aren't used to such antics, though.

[Deep13]

47. When evidence for a beginning was available, most skeptics accepted it.

It is only by chance that Judaism chose to believe in a beginning. It had nothing to do with the evidence.

[RainDog]

40. Best Satire Ever.

thank you so much, because I've had another sort of miracle on my toast that I didn't know how to mention... so, okay.


here-

[TacticalPeek]

41. Mayo Buddha or Miracle

Whip?






:)

[BB1]

42. whahahaha! Hopping on the train now!

I want a piece of that toast!!!

It'll go nicely with my collection of alien artefacts and perpetuem mobiles.

[Deep13]

43. It's a Festivus miracle!

Praise random chance!

:applause:

[AlertLurker]

44. It's a SIGN - "We're all TOAST!"

[Deep13]

48. This is absolute proof of the existence of toast.

No one can ever seriously question that toasted bread is real.

[TacticalPeek]

49. Easy to mistake for Shrub's place in history.

Maybe it was sent by future historians?

[Auggie]

50. Well then that proves it

[lumberjack_jeff]

52. I don't know about that - but I did accidentally leave a grilled cheese sandwich in my fridge once

while I was away on vacation.

I tried to drum up interest in my evolutionary epiphany; my profound, nay nearly religious demonstration of entropy, but I was rebuffed. I think it was the smell.

Had I had left it there for a few million years, I'm quite confident that it would have formed its own ecosystem, surrounded by a gorgeous collection of stromatolites.

Sadly, I needed someplace to put the milk. Oh well.

[Snotcicles]

53. Business opportunity : Dashboard Toasters. nt

[Arugula Latte]

54. I belieeeeeeeeeve!!!

That's my kind of miracle! :woohoo:

[CGowen]

56. At first I was thinking of Big Ben.....n/t

[delt664]

57. Its a Miracle! (tm)

[Raejeanowl]

58. I'm An English Muffin Adherent Myself n/t

[whatchamacallit]

60. Ha, awesome! n/t