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Edited on Wed Feb-27-08 12:35 PM by Jeffersons Ghost
As the headline suggests, an odd simi-intelligent, two-legged creature has been seen roaming our planet. Upcoming paragraphs show how dangerous this animal can be, if confronted.
A long time ago - in a galaxy far, far away - a pompous planet swirled through space, shimmering white and blue, as fortunate inhabitants slept in ivory towers, while the less wealthy slept under bridges, like tiny trolls. It was a beautiful world.
In many places, the surface was red on the white and blue planet; maybe because those living there sat, slumbering through one of the greatest extinction events to ever hit a galaxy. On the other hand, countless wars for profit perhaps stained the soil red. In either case, very few on the ruddy orb pondered profound principles like planetary demise, as its aristocratic elite pilled up power and wealth from the creatures sleeping in seemingly trusty towers.
There was a great deal of green on the globe, at one time, but much of its flora had faded to brown, during a phenomenon the inhabitants sometimes called "Global Warming." Funny, how so very few of those silly creatures sought to stop the extinction of flora and fauna, while they sat in tipsy towers, worrying about the distinct possibility that they were only three pay-checks away from sleeping under bridges with the troll-class.
By many standards, even the trolls were wealthy. At least they had scraps of food, thrown from the ivory towers to eat, while those on the other side of that world ate only one small meal - on a good day. Eating, however, was not the most glaring need for those creatures. They needed something once called water, a liquid that gave the orb its blue luster. Odd, how so few of the planet's inhabitants worried little about water, as they poisoned both sea and air with noxious compounds.
Many of the arrogant little creatures thought themselves smart, as they uttered words like nuclear proliferation, debt-deficit, trade-imbalance and Orwellian Society. Any truly intelligent creatures in the universe would not likely see those silly, slackers, slumbering in tiny towers, as smart at all.
What mental energy the arrogant animals did possess was, for the most part, squandered on producing weapons of war and technical toys, like the loathsome, lying boxes with picture-screens that seemed to hypnotize individuals slumbering in their towers. After all, who needed vehicles that converted hydrogen into water for power, instead of transportation that ran on a poisonous, expensive substance, once called "gasoline?" Polluting fuels, like gasoline, were a prime tool of aristocratic class. They used the noxious substance to attain greater power and wealth from the tower-sleepers, while remorselessly killing millions on the other side of the planet.
A fascination with war and hydrogen caused the creatures to coin terms like War on Poverty, War on Illiteracy, War on Drugs and War of Ideas. Sadly, the slumber-class never won any of those wars. Even worse, instead of using hydrogen to produce efficient fuels, inhabitants of the planet produced a hydrogen bomb, capable of causing annihilation of all life on the fragile orb.
The foolish creatures on the planet were very territorial and staked out parcels of land called countries. One country - called the USSR, it seems - went bankrupt, by focusing on weapons of war, like the hydrogen bomb. Another country called the USA also made lots of weapons of mass-destruction, which caused its inhabitants all kinds of economic woe.
Surprisingly, when it comes to Global Warming, there is a happy ending.
After destroying their economy in an arms-race, the USSR had a world-wide sale on its nuclear weaponry, with great bargains offered to one and all. Global Warming was stopped cold in its tracks, because creatures on the white and blue planet finally blew themselves to smithereens.
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