White House policy for rewarding contracts spelled out: it's simpler than you imagined

[DFW]

My apologies to those who have already heard this:

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in
D.C.; one from New Jersey , another from Tennessee and the third, from
Florida . They go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring,
then works some figures with a pencil. "Well", he says, "I figure the job
will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit
for me."

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says,
"I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100
profit for me."

The New Jersey contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the
White House official and whispers, "$2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other
guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"

The New Jersey contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and
we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."

"Done!" replies the government official.


And they all sing (to the tune of "Little Brown Jug"):

A Texas firm, not doing well,
Had services and stuff to sell.
Its stock price barely made a score
So its boss said, “Hey, I’ll start a war!”

Ha-Ha-Ha, you and me
No-bid contract I love thee!
Ha-Ha-Ha, you and me
No-bid contract I love thee!

Halliburton was its name
Its former C E O gained fame
With no good yes-men on the shelf,
He said, “VP? I’ll do it myself!”

Ha-Ha-Ha, you and me
No-bid contract I love thee!
Ha-Ha-Ha, you and me
No-bid contract I love thee!

Several thousand fought and died,
But their stock price multiplied
Defense paid well for meals not served
And America got what it deserved!.

Ha-Ha-Ha, you and me
No-bid contract I love thee!
Ha-Ha-Ha, you and me
No-bid contract I love thee!

If you would feather up your nest,
Here’s a tip how to invest:
Where success is guaranteed
You can satisfy your greed!

Ha-Ha-Ha, you and me
No-bid contract I love thee!
Ha-Ha-Ha, you and me
No-bid contract I love thee!

The end to this will be abrupt,
They will be jailed who are corrupt
But for now, they run the show,
So, no-bid contracts, go go GO!

Ha-Ha-Ha, you and me
No-bid contract I love thee!
Ha-Ha-Ha, you and me
No-bid contract I love thee!