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Edited on Tue Mar-11-08 10:40 PM by Jeffersons Ghost
A book by Dr. Seuss called, Horton Hears a Who, offers the recurring theme of little folks having “as much right to live as bigger folks do!” With speculation running rampant that the upcoming Seuss movie - by the same title - will become a mantra for pro-life advocates, its time to mention the strongly liberal leanings of Theodore Geisel (aka Dr. Seuss.) Whether Geisel would appreciate the far right’s interpretation of his work is debatable. I humbly offer a parody of his fine piece, which expresses another perspective.
On the thirteenth of March, in the bedroom of Roy,
In the heat of passion, with her toy of a boy,
She was thrashing…enjoying hot sexual bump…
When Paris the wealthy girl felt a small lump!
So Hilton stopped thrashing. She looked toward her gut.
“That’s scary,” thought Paris, and she ended the rut.
Then she felt it again, as she thought of her dad.
She had to do something. Dad would be very mad!
“I’ll fix it,” said Hilton. “But who’s is it? Why?”
She cried and she cried. Then, she looked to the sky…
As the small speck of flesh - grew fast - like her cry.
“I‘ll pray,” pondered Paris, “then get an abortion.”
She hoped there was time to remove the small portion.
She was glad Republicans lied on that issue…
while debating the merits of stem-cell tissue.
They’d hired a preacher, to sell lies to voters,
and stolen elections, using swift-boaters.
Rich Republicans where raking in dough.
They’d looted the treasury: No one would know.
If they are pro-life, then why start such long wars…
for a god named Exxon that fuels the cars?
So, gently, and using the greatest of tact,
Paris called a doctor, to deliver the fact…
that she had insurance, unlike many millions.
And, like other elite, the war brought her trillions!
“Cash!” croaked the crony. Twas rich Doctor Killdare.
He’d bribed Republicans to stop Hilly’s Health-care.
He gave his big-bucks to a crook named McCain…
who said, war for “a hundred years” ain’t insane!
“Help me,” said Hilton. “We rob the same masses…
and pay politicians to sit on their asses.”
I know some say there is a person down there.
But with millions dead in Iraq, why should we care?
Quite likely…
…family values, no Hilton has known!
That family’s children were famous when grown.
“So, please,” Paris pled, “as a favor to dad…
Perform it for free. Let’s not make him mad.”
“I think you’re a fool!” laughed old Doctor Killdare
“I’m richer than him and I don’t really care.”
“You’re the biggest blame fool that ever skipped school!”
Then, Paris decided he was being too cruel.
“What terrible insults!” the wealthy girl said.
“If daddy finds out, he‘ll go out of his head!
I skipped a few classes but not like that Bush.”
He‘d have flunked school, without his family’s push.
Trickle-down doesn‘t work, with people this tight:
They only buy estate-homes, or jets to take flight!
Her allowance would buy Cleopatra’s great barge
But her yacht payment was due and it was quite large.
“Don’t spend principle,” was a family mandate
But Paris’ plump problem just wouldn’t wait!
“I can’t have a child. And I won’t!” Paris pouted
She’d blame CIA, then, get those cells “outed.”
That had worked with Valerie Plume.
If a puppet did it, it was safe to assume…
that Bush’s blonde boss could pull it off too!
As Karl Rove teaches, “who cares what is true.”
Hilton knew that she was above ANY law
Still, as Paris pondered, she spotted a flaw
Spooks in trench-coats might come in the night…
And water-board her, till dawn’s early light!
“I think…” Hilton hissed, “I’ll call Cheney instead!
I bet Uncle Dick will fix all that I dread”
Then, that plucky young Paris picked up the phone…
And she called the BIG boss but no one was home.
It seems Uncle Dick had gone hunting that day.
If you hunt with Dick Cheney, stay out of his way!
Dick doesn’t go for discriminatory junk…
He’ll shoot down ANYONE at all when he’s drunk!
They say old Dick Cheney has a daughter quite gay.
And if she wants to marry, she’ll soon get her way.
Gay marriage, like abortion, are meant to divide…
voters, who debate, while defending their pride.
As the citizens argue, they’re bound to lose sight…
of the REAL issues and their terrible plight.
Brittany or Paris dominate what they call “news.”
TV is a forum that gives limited views.
Is Paris pregnant? someone might ask…
But reporting on Paris isn’t my task.
Instead, I’ll give Exxon another small mention..
before men in black put us ALL in detention.
When gas goes up about a dollar or two…
Will we ALL make a living, like richer folks do?
Is it an attempt to create only two classes?
Are super-elite making slaves of our asses?
It sure is fun thinking of Paris Hilton…
But it brings to mind a title by Milton.
When that last card is laid and we measure the cost…
Will America be a Paradise Lost?
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