Apparently Gandalf the Grey is heading a secret gay lobby to destroy Christianity in Britain

[FVZA_Colonel]

http://news.scotsman.com/scotland/Catholic-bishop--hits-out.3872740.jp

Catholic bishop hits out at 'gay conspiracy' to destroy Christianity

TRISTAN STEWART-ROBERTSON

ONE of Scotland's most senior Catholics has launched an attack on the "gay lobby" in Scotland, claiming there is a "huge and well-orchestrated conspiracy" against Christian values.

The Rt Rev Joseph Devine, Bishop of Motherwell and president of the Catholic Education Commission, said gay rights organisations aligned themselves with minority groups, such as Holocaust survivors, to project an "image of a group of people under persecution".

He warned that the gay lobby – which he labelled "the opposition" – had mounted "a giant conspiracy" to shape public policy.

He singled out the actor Sir Ian McKellen, who was given a New Year honour for services to gay rights, pointing out that Oscar Wilde was locked up only a century ago for homosexual acts. The bishop said he would "not tolerate" the "behaviour" of a child struggling to come to terms with his or her homosexuality. Last night his views were attacked by gay rights groups, which branded them "unChristian" and "deeply out of step" with the views of ordinary Scots.
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"We neglect the gay movement at our peril." That was the caption under his picture, so I hope it won't violate the 4 paragraph rule. But that line is just so... damn chilling.

[krispos42]

1. He's right

There is a huge and well-orchestrated conspiracy against Christian values. It's called constitutionally secular representative government.

[SidDithers]

21. Well said...nt

Sid

[Hekate]

2. Gandalf and Dumbledore *both* have the gay?! Oh my stars.

:rofl: I love it.

Hekate

[murielm99]

5. Not Gandalf, silly,

just Ian McKellan.

Although it does make me wonder about all those hobbits.

[Kutjara]

6. Hobbits aren't gay.

Can you imagine any gay species with such lousy dress sense? I mean, really, tweed? Plaid? Heavy winter fabrics the whole year 'round? The whole thing is just so drearily homespun.

And those hobbit villages. They're totally Martha Stweart meets "Wind in the Willows," don't you think? Just beyond cliche.

But the clincher is the shoes. Hobbits don't wear any. How can any sentient gay being endure an existence bereft of shoes? I rest my case.

[Hekate]

9. Not gay at all, just inordinately cheerful.

:D

Hekate

[Kutjara]

10. Oh God yes. How could I have forgotten?

So annoyingly fucking cheerful. I'm amazed Gandalf didn't just fry the lot of 'em, simply for being so annoying.

[roguevalley]

19. Hobbits can't be gay. Their hairy feet haven't seen a tweezer in

ages. First, Second and third. Although, I think Frodo and Sam are getting it on. SIGH! So romantic!

[Kutjara]

20. I hadn't considered that, but you're right!

Gandalf could have whipped them up some Middle Earth equivalent of Veet in about three seconds. At the very least, he could have used that light-blast power we saw in the movie version to set up a "possibly non-annihilating hair removal" clinic in Bree. But clearly someone as wise as Stormcrow could see that heterosexuals had no need of such things.

As for Frodo and Sam, their story is transcendent. Their love is perfect as it is and needs no definition.

[Elidor]

3. Only 100 years ago?

The bishop wants to party like it's 1599.

[Kutjara]

4. Organized Christianity must be an incredibly feeble...

...ideology if, after 2000 years of almost total cultural, economic, and political hegemony in Europe/the Americas/elsewhere, and in spite of the enormous financial resources its various sects possess, it is still threatened to the core by any point of view that, even peripherally, disagrees with its doctrines. I mean, how shaky is the foundation if even the slightest breeze threatens to collapse the whole building?

I constantly hear progressive Christians argue, "The Bible is an allegory. Only a fool takes it literally." Yet, time after time, public debate is shaped and directed by just such fools. I'm sorry, but if the central book of your belief system is so poorly written that a large and influential chunk of its followers persist in the delusion that it's literally true, it may just be time to start looking for another book.

[Beregond2]

7. Book

I agree, the Bible is very problematic. It is so complex, so contradictory, that it can be used to justify or condemn anything, when it falls into the hands of the ignorant and unsophisticated. But you can no more remove it from our culture than you could have removed the Iliad from ancient Greece or the Tao Te Ching from China. The answer, as usual, is education, and a commitment to the humane values the Bible ultimately arrives at. Christianity, like most religions, is an evolving tradition. Some people evolve faster than others, unfortunately.

I might point out that it was only a very few years ago that the extremely secular "science" of psychology began to move away from it's condemnation of homosexuality. Irrationality is not limited to the religious.

[Kutjara]

8. I agree.

Some would say that the contradictory nature of the Bible (or the Qur'an, or the Bhagavad Gita, or the Pali Canon, or whathaveyou) is precisely what gives it its spiritual power. The contradictions are the very elements that short-circuit rational thinking and open the mind to transcendant experience. It's the allegorical nature of such texts that makes them timeless. Each new generation is meant to find something new, something that speaks to its own experience.

And that is the central evil of fundamentalism: by rigorously adhering to a single (usually absurdly anachronistic) interpretation of "sacred text," fundamentalists destroy the very tradition they proclaim to exhalt. The text becomes a cold, remote, empty, and meaningless assemblage of "miracles" and fantastical happenings that no sensible eight-year-old would believe to be literally true.

Religious literalism is the death knell of any faith. Once the transcendence is gone, once the communion is gone, once the brief, fleeting glimpse of the eternal is gone, all that's left is politics.

[Thickasabrick]

17. That was an incredibly thoughtful and intelligent post n/t

[DCKit]

11. "Oscar Wilde was locked up only a century ago for homosexual acts."

And all this time I thought it was a political persecution for sleeping with the wrong Lord's son and writing merciless parodies of the bigoted, ignorant, hypocritical upper classes. I so nave.

[Smith_3]

12. Christianity needs to get the fuck out of politics. nt

[Glorfindel]

13. "The Rt Rev Joseph Devine, Bishop of Motherwell" - ?

That's the funniest name/title combination I've ever seen! :rofl: :rofl:

[Hekate]

15. I know. He needs a zap from the Great Goddess. nt

[gollygee]

14. Go Gandalf!

Christianity in Britain (and elsewhere) is more likely to be destroyed by its own anachronism than by Teh Gayz.

[JerseygirlCT]

16. I've always loved Gandalf...

And the demonstration of Christian love offered by this bishop is breathtaking.

[distantearlywarning]

18. Dear Fundies:

Get over the gay thing already, would ya?

It's getting tiresome and boring.