U.S.A. is No. 1 (my latest LTTE, which has already provoked a hate call):

[Jackpine Radical]

http://www.leadertelegram.com/story-opinions.asp?id=BFV3CN2MB2U

No matter how hard the liberal America-haters try to deny it, the United States is still No. 1. If you doubt it, just reflect for a moment on how many first-place positions we hold in world statistics:

-We are No. 1 in incarceration. We not only have more people per capita in prison or jail, we have more inmates in absolute numbers than countries such as China with four or five times our population.

-We have the highest infant mortality rate among modern industrialized nations.

-We not only devote more money to military expenditures than any other country, we spend more than the rest of the world combined.

-We have a larger portion of our citizenry without health insurance than any other nation.

-We not only have more billionaires than any other nation, we sustain the worlds largest gap in income between the rich and the poor - and furthermore, not content with our brilliant success in this arena, we continue to widen that gap at a rate greater than anywhere else in the world.

-We have the industrialized world's highest rate of unwed teen pregnancies.

In seven years of brilliant conservative leadership, we have soared to the No. 1 position as the most-hated and most-feared nation on earth, as measured in worldwide polls.

Sadly, my friends, if we were to elect Democratic leaders to the White House and Congress this fall, I fear that their proposed policy changes would threaten our proud position of supremacy in every one of these areas. Please do not let America fall into mediocrity. Vote Republican.

{Jackpine Radical}

[YDogg]

1. I laughed, I cried.

:thumbsup:

[immoderate]

2. I kicked, I recommended.

--IMM

[rateyes]

3. Excellent.

[jody]

4. Excellent LTTE, keep on submitting. n/t

[Jackpine Radical]

29. I do this fairly often.

Over the years, I've gotten quite a few things similar to this published in that paper or in others nearby.

Here's one from 9/12/2005 that appeared in the same paper:

The liberals like to make fun of President Bush’s intelligence. Why is it then that the average Democrat is too stupid to understand the President when he speaks in plain English? As, for example, when he praised Michael Brown for the outstanding job he had done in New Orleans following Hurricane Katrina. And again when he challenged his critics, saying, in effect, “What makes you think something went wrong with the disaster response?”

Consider the effects of FEMA’s brilliant New Orleans strategy. First, the New Orleans black population is now scattered across the country, thereby dissipating their voting power. I guess they won’t be delivering Louisiana for the Democrats in the foreseeable future. Second, real estate developers can now make a clean start and build New Orleans into a gigantic theme park that will put all the Disney enterprises to shame. And third, since all the actual disaster survivors are scattered across the country and are too poor to hire lawyers, there is nothing to prevent the Administration from funneling all the disaster relief money into the coffers of deserving but uninjured campaign contributors, just as Mr. Brown did in Florida after Hurricane Frances and just before the 2004 election. Admittedly, Brown was able to siphon off only $31 million for Bush supporters after Frances, but that was just sort of a practice run. This time tens of billions will be available to reward loyalists and friends of the administration for their support, regardless of whether they actually sustained any material damages from the hurricane.

As an indication of what is to come, Halliburton already has the contracts for cleaning up all military facilities in the wake of Katrina, and Dick Cheney’s recent visit to the Gulf Coast was followed a day or two later by the announcement that Halliburton subsidiary KBR got a no-bid contract for the civilian cleanup as well.
How, in the face of all this evidence of the Administration’s brilliant planning and execution of disaster relief efforts after Katrina, could any Democrat be so blind and stupid as to accuse our President of not being prepared, or of not being able to rise to the challenge of an unexpected opportunity?

[Darth_Kitten]

5. You rock.

:D

[Qutzupalotl]

6. They LIKE the "most-feared nation on earth" part.

That's just fine with them. International law means squat. Not being attacked at home is ALL that matters in foreign relations.

I bet that's what set off your caller.

[Jackpine Radical]

15. "THEY"

are not the people I'm trying to reach. I recognize that there is a core group of impenetrable crania out there that is beyond redemption and beyond my meager skills as an essayist--although, as a psychologist, under the right conditions, I might like to have a crack at them.

[OregonBlue]

7. Brilliant!! K & R

[OwnedByFerrets]

8. LOL Brilliant LTTE.....

I am sorry that you received hate calls though.

[erebusman]

9. stephen colbert would be proud :D NT

[islandmkl]

10. great one....

we're no. 1...with bullets....

[barbtries]

11. excellent letter

more about the hate call, please.

[rockymountaindem]

12. What did the hate call say?

[Jackpine Radical]

16. Aw, the hate call wasn't much. Guy just said he'd like to be the first to offer me

"a free one-way ticket to Venezuelia" (sic). He hung up before I could get the details on how to collect.

[gauguin57]

20. Instead of "Venezuelia" (LOL!), he should have given you a ticket to Da Nile.

Cuz that's where the dude LIVES!

[Jackpine Radical]

21. It's because of all those idiots swimming in Da Nile

that the rest of us are up Shit Creek.

[stlsaxman]

42. hahahah! touche'!

:rofl:

[Wind Dancer]

13. Brilliant!

You nailed the issues perfectly!

[superkia]

14. But our government keeps telling us we are number 1 as their...

corporate friends tell us they cant fill positions because we don't have adequate people to do the jobs. They figure, as long as we run around with our false pride, we will ignore the rest of the world...their all terrorist countries and our government says so!

[jzodda]

17. Bravo! Though I think your wrong on the billionares though

I don't remember where I saw it, it may have been on CNN a few weeks ago. They talked about China having the most billionaires for the first time, more then any other nation. We may have slipped to 2nd place among billionaires! It saddens me soooo much! :D But as I don't have anything to back it up except my memory take it with a grain of salt.

[Jackpine Radical]

19. China (excluding Hong Kong) isn't even in the top 15 according to Forbes:

Forbes announced its 2007 edition of the world’s billionaires. The list contains 946 billionaires, among which 178 are newcomers. 65% of last year’s billionaires are richer and 17% are poorer. The billionaires’ combined net worth climbed by $900 billion to $3.5 trillion. That equates to $3.6 billion apiece. The average billionaire is 62 years old, two years younger than in 2005. Here’s the number of billionaires per country (the top 15): Apparently, Turkey has 25 billionaires, ranking in the world league at a whopping number 6!

1) USA (432)
2) Germany (55)
3) Russia (53)
4) India (36)
5) UK (29)
6) Turkey (25)
7) Japan (24)
8) Canada (23)
9) Hong Kong (21)
10) Brazil, Spain, China (20)
11) France (15)
12) Saudi Arabia (13)
13) Australia (12)
14) South Korea (10)
15) Mexico (10)

[jzodda]

24. Thanks for that list!

Wow Turkey is a surprise, ahead of Japan! I figured I might be wrong, as I think this is the list they spoke of on the show. Maybe I heard them saying that China was moving up the list when you add Hong Kong plus the mainland.

We have 432, wow. A nation of Greed and woe

[loudsue]

33. Turkey is where all of the heroin flows through from Afghanistan & China.

There are a ton of wealthy drug dealers in Turkey, and they OWN our elected representatives & law enforcement.

[Jackpine Radical]

49. Wow. That point hadn't occurred to me, but of course! (nt)

[rosesaylavee]

18. Love it!

Best LTTE I have read in a long time. Good on you!

Sorry you had to deal with someone living in denial... but now they have the information don't they? Hope they look into it and try to disprove it. Maybe they will learn something.

[Laelth]

22. Nicely done. k&r n/t

:patriot:

:dem:

-Laelth

[Ishoutandscream2]

23. Oh, fantastic!

Reality does have a liberal bias. Beautifully written!!!

[Senator]

25. K&R

[malaise]

26. Perfect

K & R

[NM Independent]

27. Very Funny...

...but not so funny.

:shrug:

:rofl:

:shrug:

[flamin lib]

28. May I plagerize this for my email list? It's too good not to share

with a few hundred of my closest friends!

[Jackpine Radical]

31. Happy to oblige.

[LSK]

30. SEE!!!! Obama's preacher doesnt know what hes talking about!!!

USA #1 USA #1 USA #1 !!!

:sarcasm:

[Jackpine Radical]

32. Yup. In Bushworld,

Wright is Wrong. And Up is Down, etc.

[bdamomma]

34. your first bullet point is interesting

-We are No. 1 in incarceration. We not only have more people per capita in prison or jail, we have more inmates in absolute numbers than countries such as China with four or five times our population.

but apparently, we do not have the domestic enemies that we have in the WH being held behind bars yet. sad

[indepat]

35. Jackpine Radical: no surprises here for these are all about what neocon 'pukedom is all about,

but sadly some 90% of those who support/have supported 'pukes are caught up in/adversely impacted by some/most of the aforementioned. :shrug: :mad: :D

Edited to add phrase

[NanceGreggs]

36. EXCELLENT!!!

:applause: :patriot: :applause:

[sicksicksick_N_tired]

37. Top rate ltte!!!

:applause:

[yardwork]

38. That is incredible. In a few words, you summed it up!

Wow! :patriot:

[FightTheRight89]

39. But seriously...

We are the greatest country in the world.

[Jackpine Radical]

41. Of course we are--just like I pointed out in my OP.

We have some other firsts I didn't even mention, too. First in per-capita environmental pollution, first in per-capita energy consumption...

[FightTheRight89]

46. Come on.

The OP is just a sarcastic swing at the U.S. What purpose other than that could have driven you to post this?

[Jackpine Radical]

48. What other purpose?

How about a patriotism that isn't satisfied with allowing our failings to go unremarked? How about a hope that we can rise above these failings? If you don't see a problem, if you deny it, then it will never get fixed.

I challenge you: Make up an accurate list of admirable things, generous things, wonderful things in which America ranks first.

[FightTheRight89]

50. I accept your challenge:

First nation to create a representative democracy.
First in the fight to liberate the peoples of Western Europe.
First on the front lines against Soviet Communism during the Cold War.
First in promoting freedom around the world.
First to the moon.
First in economic, cultural, military power in the world.
First in the front lines against terrorism.
We have the first Constitution that outlines freedom for all human beings, and we still stick to it today.
First in promoting those freedoms for the rest of the world.
First in providing aid to developing democracies (Marshall Plan).

If America wasn't the greatest country in the world, why would so many people want to live here?

I concede the point about blind patriotism. I recognize those failings and hope we can fix them. But I also don't think it's constructive to sit there and yell numbers at our country in an insulting way. Sure, we have problems. But we also are the standard bearers of freedom and democracy in the world today. And that's why I love America.

[Jackpine Radical]

51. Thank you. I note, however, that most of the things on your list

are historical in nature. They are about things we once did, and once stood for, but I don't think a lot of them apply to the America of today. For example, I would say that we don't still adhere to the freedoms guaranteed in the Constitution. The government routinely conducts searches and seizures. We have effectively suspended habeas corpus. I don't see us as the anything like a major cultural center either. Economic and military power I will give you, but I will point out that the common people of most other advanced nations live better, with better living conditions across the lifespan, than here.

The Marshall Plan was a brilliant and generous undertaking, and made the world a better place. Had the Republican administrations in power when the Soviet Union fell done the same thing then, we could have averted a whole lot of the unpleasantness that has arisen since that time.

I don't think our position on terror is wise; we have aided and abetted people like the Saudi rulers in suppressing their own people, and they have in turn encouraged and subsidized the rise of rabid fundamentalist hatred of America as a way of distracting their people from overthrowing them.

[FightTheRight89]

53. Oh, our administration is terrible.

But I find that the fallacy of equating America with it's leaders is analogous to the Republicans' "You Don't Support the War" = "You Don't Support the Troops" slogan.

[demmiblue]

52. I believe the challenge was to come up with a list that reflects the present.

Edit: sorry JPR... I was writing this when you replied.

:yourock:

[Jackpine Radical]

54. Indeed that was my intent.

[FightTheRight89]

55. Deleted, wrong box.

[ooglymoogly]

40. excellent snark....

we are now the no. one banana republic in the world with the power to annihilate our faked up enemies and subdue our own people with faked up charges. KR

[myrna minx]

43. You sir, have a gift.

:applause:

[Jackpine Radical]

56. Most kind of you, Myrna.

And I DO have to get over there for another of your get-togethers, if you ever still have them.

[myrna minx]

57. A big group of MN Duers do get together about once a month, but I've haven''t attended one

for quite some time. I don't have a car, so I am gathering challenged. If you should make it back to our neck of the woods, I'm sure we'd we all able to get together for our fantastic DU Bard. :hi:

[Jackpine Radical]

58. Myrna, you flatter me no end!

Sometime after it warms up a little I'd be up to drive over there sometime, so keep me posted on your doings.

[electropop]

44. U-S-A U-S-A

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo GEORGIE!

[Uncle Joe]

45. Kicked and recommended.

Thanks for the thread, Jackpine Radical.

[depakid]

47. Classic!

Satire is a lost art....