I'm concerned about a friend of mine

[Hugabear]

I have a friend whom I've known since high school. He's a pretty smart guy, a moderate Christian. But for the past few years, he's been attending informal prayer meetings with some very fundamentalist types, cut from the Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson cloth. These folks believe that they are going to be raptured at any time, that homosexuals are going to hell, that abortion should be outlawed, and that the US and Israel are God's "chosen nations". Many of these people are also quite racist, against interracial relationships, and want to build a wall along the Mexican border to keep "them" out. Whenever I try to point out to my friend that the people he's associating with are extremists, he shrugs it off and says that there's nothing to worry about. However, I have noticed over the years my friend slowly becoming more conservative, almost as if his relationship with these fundies is influencing his decision making. Lately I've even heard my friend praising John McCain over fellow Democrats.

Is there anything I can say to my friend at this point, or is he beyond hope now?

[Breeze54]

1. Good bye?

:shrug:

[SharonAnn]

12. Sometimes these people eventually wake up and leave these beliefs.

[Breeze54]

19. I wouldn't hold my breath or wait around for that.

Most people don't change their 'spots' after a certain age.

[islandmkl]

2. ask him the 'what would jesus do?' question....

see if he thinks jesus would be killing, polluting, expanding poverty, etc. in the name of 'faith'...

what WOULD jesus do?

[stlsaxman]

5. ... and if he answers "Jesus will save us all from all of that when He returns", then you say-

"Okay, bye!"

[Hugabear]

9. well, he DID support going into Iraq

Even though he now says that he opposes the war. It's a constant subject of debate for us.

[bdamomma]

17. that one simple question should be asked.

and if you find his response to be very disturbing say "good bye and good luck"

[Botany]

3. Tell him you will pray for him.

:rofl:

BTW outside of Paul all the apostles were single men.

[patrice]

4. Try to EASE him into a discussion of Blasphemy/Blasphemers and, by extension,

The 1st Commandment of the OT and then, hopefully - if you get that far, the SINGLE commandment of the NT. Try not to impose others' opinions and ideas on him, but what you personally, as his friend, know, and have come to understand through Life experiences, about what these things mean.

Let him know that you don't want to change him, that he MUST decide for himself, and that (I'm assuming) you are just trying to keep a certain "door" in your relationships with him, open - just a crack if that's all he is willing to allow.

Appeal to his Love of Freedom, because there is no "Salvation" (whatever that means) without Freedom. The life of the Christ (whoever that was) clearly illustrates that fact (i.e. freedom from CHURCH and STATE).

On Edit: BUT remember that there a whole lot of people who can and WILL cut their own nose off (and more) to spite YOUR face.

[mike_c]

6. your friend is insane....

The fact that so many in America share his delusion doesn't make it any less delusional. Adults with imaginary friends are not rational.

I don't have any advice to offer-- until there's a cure for religious insanity, the only thing I can suggest is that we be compassionate with them but have firm boundaries to keep their delusions from affecting the lives of others.

[Hugabear]

18. The problem is that he wants to run for political office

He was active in the College Democrats when we were in college, and served on the Student Council. Now he is giving serious consideration to running for some political office as a Democrat. If there's another Democrat running against him, I'll have to support the other candidate.

[Mabus]

7. Just be there for him when he comes to his senses

I had a friend in law school who was a rabid Republican. His best friend from childhood announced that he was gay and it blew my friend's mind. He had been taught that all gays were going to hell. We used to talk about his faith and its teachings. He couldn't understand why he had to either stop associating with his best friend or try to convert/cure him.

It took him almost a year but my friend finally came to his senses and realized that the church doctrine he had blindly clung to all of his life was wrong. It was a real struggle for him but I was there to help him when he needed it. I wasn't the only one. He eventually changed churches and started attending one that actually preached love rather than condemnation.

[DFW]

8. Say, "nice knowing you" as he slips beyond the great divide

When people get drawn in by cults, it's usually because they were
receptive to it in the first place. They have filled a hole in his
psyche that he hadn't felt was filled elsewhere, and he has now found
someone to do the filling. That their motives are less than pure is
completely beside the point.

[Hugabear]

15. What makes it worse is that lately, he's been very vocal about other people's religious associations

It really bothers me, because he continues to claim that he's progressive, yet he's exhibiting these disturbing traits.

I think many of the responses here are right, it might be time to tell this guy that although I've valued his friendship in the past, unless he distances himself from these extremists and stops attacking some of my other friends, that I'm going to have to cut off my friendship.

[GoneOffShore]

22. Remind him that there is NO religious test allowed for public office

Talk to him about separation as enshrined in the Constitution and how a secular society actually protects religions.

And find a "progressive prayer group" that you can invite him to - I'm sure they are out there, but being an atheist myself wouldn't know where to start looking.

[frogcycle]

10. tell him to avoid kool-aid

[Broadslidin]

11. Reflecting upon "Paint It Black", expect to be placed near the top of his "Evil Doer" list....!

:nuke: :hide: :nuke:

[Balbus]

13. Talk about baseball...

The more you keep religion and politics out of a friendship, the more and better friends you will have.

[Pacifist Patriot]

14. If this is a friendship you have valued and would mourn it's loss...

I would have a serious conversation and let him know you are disturbed by this trend. Tell him you have a deep regard for him but cannot respect the views which he is beginning to embrace.

Point blank ask him what void or problem in his life is inspiring him to seek relief in such a manner. Find out if there is a way you can help find a more palatable medicine for what ails him.

[SpiralHawk]

16. Your friend is NOT becoming more 'conservative'

The phony label 'conservative' is just a radical right-wing propaganda meme cover-up to disguise fear-based fascism that trashes the economy, the environment, the Constitution, the Golden Rule, and everything else that is truly worth conserving.

[Echo In Light]

21. That was definitely a required clarification

[Echo In Light]

20. There's a great bit of dialogue from Kaufman's 70s version of Invasion of Body Snatchers...

Set in liberal S.F. where Donald Sutherland's character is talking to Brooke Adams' character about her husband's inexplicable change, and he outlines some basic psych factors, suggesting that perhaps he had become a republican. Fantastic, chilling film.

[Hugabear]

23. So, nobody's figured it out yet...

Maybe if I had posted this in GD-P it would have been more obvious... :evilgrin: :hide:

[baby_mouse]

26. You naughty NAUGHTY beast... NT

People have different standards for politicians, of course. Ive never really understood why.

Ho hum... whistle...

[baby_mouse]

27. K&R, by the way....

You bad, BAD person, you.

:D

[MiniMe]

24. Ask him to put you in his will for his car and big screen TV.

Maybe his bank accounts too.

[Johonny]

25. He's probably beyond hope

doesn't mean you have to stop being friends with him, but there is probably little you personally can do.