Laugh, Then Puke

[parkeradison]

Read this and chuckle, and perhaps vomit afterwards.

Evangelical Monday–”Leaving On Four Jet Planes”
April 7th, 2008
Many of you probably remember the song by Jefferson Airplane titled “Leaving On A Jet Plane”. Of course, the mode of transportation referred to was a commercial airliner, not a personally owned private jet. And, today’s “dedicated” tele-evangelists certainly should not be expected to “lower themselves” to traveling via such ordinary, humble and inconvenient means.

As you know by now, many of these humble servants of God have their own private jets, courtesy of the donations made to their ministries. So, what’s with today’s title, “Leaving On Four Jet Planes”? Kenneth Copeland and his wife, Gloria, have not one, not two, not three, but four private jets at their disposal. After all, who knows when one of them might break down? Oh, that’s right, that still leaves them three. Well, Ken and Gloria might have to fly to meetings at different locations. Wait a minute, that still leaves them one extra jet. But, never mind, I’m sure the Copelands have their own very good reasons, since Ken says that he hears clear and specific messages from God on a regular basis.

In one of those clear messages from God, Ken was told to purchase his newest private jet, a $20 million “Cessna Citation 10″ luxury jet. Boy, do I feel ashamed and embarrassed now. Here I was, questioning the Copeland’s “private air force”, while Ken was only buying these jets so that he could obey God. I’ve learned my lesson. I was going to tell you about the reports done by the Dallas Morning News and News Channel WFAA in Dallas, in which they revealed that the Copelands used their new jet for private skiing trips in Colorado and hunting trips at a wild game ranch in Texas, as well as layovers in Honolulu, Maui and the Fiji Islands; but, having learned my lesson, I will not suggest to you that Ken is abusing ministry finances, because he was probably just obeying God once again. After all, if God tells you to take your $20 million ministry jet to go hunting or skiing, you have to obey God, right?

By the way, Ken has also stated that God has told him that he and Gloria should each have their own “Cessna Citation 10″ jet. And, I hope that you don’t make the same mistake that I did, by questioning the Copelands’ use of ministry funds. Think about it, how would it look for Ken to fly to his meeting in a $20 million jet, while Gloria has to fly to her meeting in one of their old $5 million planes? Moreover, what do you expect Ken to do, disobey God? You need to repent as I did, and unquestionably trust that the Copelands will do what’s right, obey God, and buy that second $20 million jet as soon as enough ministry funds are available. You can be sure that they will not let any other unworthy ministry projects, such as feeding starving children or helping the homeless, take funds away from what’s really important, adding to the Copelands’ “Air Force”.

I also want you to know that, while you’re sitting there in your comfortable 2000 square foot house or 1000 square foot apartment, The Copelands are struggling to maintain their 18,000 square foot “shack” (ministry parsonage) on Eagle Mountain Lake. And, the Copelands’ burdens don’t stop there, for they also have numerous personally owned real estate holdings, as well as gas and oil wells to manage. Yes, theirs is a difficult lifestyle. Furthermore, I hope that you’re not wondering where they got the money to buy these assets, because it should be obvious that God probably told Ken to take enough money from their ministry to cover the cost of each and every piece of real estate and all of those gas and oil wells; then, Kenneth Copeland humbly and unselfishly obeyed “his god”.

Yes, I intentionally did not capitalize the word “god” in the last sentence, because Kenneth Copeland’s “god” is certainly not the Deity described in the Bible. His god is money and the pleasures and treasures of this world. He and his “ilk” give Christianity a bad name. Kenneth Copeland’s lifestyle is the complete antithesis of Jesus’ life revealed in the Bible. Mr. Copeland, you should be ashamed of yourself. You could have saved the lives of 363,636 starving children with the money you payed for that fourth jet. WWJD Ken? How can you sleep at nights?

I copied this from http://www.rightwingexposed.com They let you copy. There's also a good post from yesterday describing Michael Medved's recent attack against Obama.

[madokie]

1. ambien

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambien_CR

[Jane Austin]

2. Jefferson Airplane?

More like Peter, Paul and Mary, and written by John Denver.

[izquierdista]

3. Nothing new

I was tying down my Cessna Cardinal at an airport over 20 years ago, and while walking from the low rent spaces to the hanger, I saw a shiny new Gulfstream III that put all the other aircraft to shame. Upon looking closer, I saw the registration number was N777JS and there was an unusual logo next to the number. It looked like a cross with a bird flying across it, so I figured some fundie owned the plane. I thought nothing about the logo until later that weekend, when while channel surfing, I saw it again. I could get one of those logos, my very own cross and dove lapel pin, if I sent in a donation to -- you guessed it, the JS was for Jimmy Swaggart.

[DemoTex]

4. A friend of mine was Swaggert's GulfStream pilot .. and, oh!, the stories he could tell!

Ladies and liquor. Liquor and ladies. More liquor. More ladies. Etc., etc. etc.