Proof that Ben Stein is a conspiracy!

[Johonny]

The creationists win. I now understand completely their message. Yes the natural world does not exist outside of my beliefs. My mere thought of mind can change the world to what I believe should happen rather than what does. From this I concluded Ben Stein does not exist. Sure he may appear on TV, in movies, and write bad stock advice in the editorial section of the newspaper, but I believe these false images of Ben Stein have been planted by God to test me (and apparently stock traders). And since they’re my beliefs, the fact that they are directly contradicted by fact makes them almost certainly to be fact instead of a belief. You can point to a printed article from Ben Stein and then a few weeks later another articles and say see Ben Stein must exist and continue to exist because he keeps writing. But I can not be fooled! Where you see evidence of existence I see gaps in between written evidence where no evidence of Ben Stein’s existence exists. So for every one piece of Ben Stein existence evidence you produce I see two new gaps of non-existence and two is bigger than one. So Ben Stein does not exist. You may present baby photo’s, high school year books and Nixon speeches as evidence of Ben Stein’s existence, but I tell you there is no place on Earth where all of the Ben Stein historical record can be witnessed and thus you can discount it all! That baby photo could just be a water mark left by Noah’s great flood. Ben Stein does not appear once in my bible! I would think if God wanted me to believe in Ben Stein he would have left a margin note somewhere in there (hopefully real close to the front because once you hit Leviticus it’s Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz time). I conclude Ben Stein is just a conspiracy by “Big Science” design to get me to waste my precious time on Earth on the entertainment industry when I could be at home contemplating reading the bible while I do something more productive.
Ben Stein does not exist QED