So where is she now?

[The Straight Story]

On 12/31/2004 my mom died, around 2am in the morning.

Based on various beliefs she is either just dead, or somewhere else right now (from being a spirit, to being in heaven, hell, etc and so on).

If this is all there is, why did she live her life for others and sacrifice her own joy at times for the betterment of others? Why not just live for herself (survival of the fittest, etc and so on). If there is nothing beyond this life, then why do so many give up so much in this life when it will do them no good in the end?

If she is in Heaven with a loving God, why hasn't she got a hold of me and let me know how she is doing? Don't they have the internet there? If not, when I die and (hopefully) get there, I can hook em up :)

If she is just a ghost, a spirit wandering the earth, why hasn't she shown herself to me when I looked for her via EVP? And I have captured other voices on EVP but not hers.

And yet - My niece's son has seen her sitting on the porch, even ran up to talk to her and he was only 4. My own daughter once heard her yelling for her while she was riding her bike (and she was only 5 at the time). My dad has heard her voice at night before, and he does not believe in ghosts and such (he sees her as in Heaven and not able to communicate with him).

Where is she now? Her ashes are in a box in my dad's basement.

And whether or not you believe in an afterlife I can assure you she lives on. Because she was more than the sum of her physical parts.

Maybe you don't believe in an afterlife or a Heaven. But I do. Because there are some here in this world who have done a lot for others, and they deserve more than to have suffered for years and gotten nothing in the end. She deserved a rest, she deserved to see her mom again and family.

[Richard Steele]

1. For something so cynical and bittersweet, that's a pretty great post. Recommended, StraightStory. nm

[gateley]

2. "Let them rest from their labors for their good deeds go with them." nt

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. My dear Straight Story...

Sweetie...

That is truly beautiful...

I think and hope that there is an afterlife...

Maybe we even get another chance at this one...

I am sure your mom lives on...

K&R

:hug:

[alittlelark]

4. My cousin's 7 year old died of a brain aneurysm a year ago...

It was devastating to everyone. We returned from her funeral to his sisters house. Things were too intense for me inside the house - I went into the front yard. Two of Jennas cousins were playing out there (one was 6, one 7). I was watching them for awhile and it seemed odd. There were these awkward lapses in their conversation. I started really listening for a few minutes. I finally asked them why they were talking to the tree (at that moment they were). One of them looked at me as though I was silly and said they were talking to Jenna.

I had no response. I got my aunt and Jennas mom to come out and watch.

I must admit my 'soul' was shaken by the occurrence (I consider myself an Atheist/Agnostic).

[The Straight Story]

7. My friend

I thank you for such a decent response.

And while you may be an atheist, and me a Christian, it is nice to know we can talk nicely to one another about such things.

[tavalon]

13. Children haven't learned that we can't see spirits

They are, in my opinion, closer to diety and the afterlife in that respect. So few of them, myself included, remember the knowing when they get older. Too bad.

[lonestarnot]

5. Yes. And I do too.

And you will see her again. :hug:

[havocmom]

6. Yep, love is an energy. Energy can be transformed but never completely distroyed

Have had enough experiences to make my cynical ol heart know this to be true.

[Horse with no Name]

8. She is in the heart of everyone who loved her

even though my faith has been shaken in the last few years...I still believe that there is a Heaven.

[slowry]

9. Your reasoning is utterly flawed, but love will do that, won't it?

:hug:

:grouphug:

[The Straight Story]

10. Yes it will

At some point reason gives way to other things :) Being human is weird at times :rofl:

[cornermouse]

11. My grandpa, a deeply religious man who actually lived what most

people only talk about, told me about a year before his death that he had woke up in the middle of the night to find a young man leaning over him. It startled him. By the time he got his glasses on the young man was gone so grandpa got up and searched the house. The doors and windows were secure and no one was in the house except he and grandma. The next morning he realized that the young man leaning over him was himself at a much younger, healthier, stronger age.

I lost grandpa about a year later to a stroke but I've always wondered if he found himself leaning over a bed with an old man lying in it. The story he told me about the "intruder" made losing him easier for some reason.

[tavalon]

12. Well, I personally have had spiritual experiences that give lie to the idea that this is it

But, if I'm delusional and this is it, even knowing without a doubt that this is it, I would still sacrifice to help others because my spirit feels well when I do. I've had to learn limits to that, of course, and have learned to trust my gut on that. To do otherwise would make me feel soulsick and sad. I prefer to do what is right by my own internal ethical barometer than to go for the cheap, easy, unkind way. Yep, I really do the right thing (by my estimation) even when no one is looking. If I find our tomorrow that this is it, I will continue doing the right thing (by my estimation), even when no one is looking.

But, I do have to admit, I feel like I've got it easy in the faith department. See, I almost died a few years ago and I had a near death experience. More real than anything in this world and it settled things for me. Do I know exactly what's going to happen when I die? No. But I got the tenor and it is a blessed thing. I want to live, I love life, but when it's time, I will go happily. Death holds no fear for me. People talk about having faith, but I don't have to - I know. For myself, not for anyone else, that what comes after is just fine. Heck, I came back only reluctantly, because I didn't want my son to lose his mother at eight years of age, like I did. I reached out to hold the hand of my lover to find my way back but as much as I still love him, it wasn't for him that I came back.

Edited to add: I'm a pagan but that's just because the myth works better for me than any of the others. I think the religion is the window dressing and that the spiritual things to which we speak, transcend that.