Please proofread my 135th ltte-on oil prices

[w8liftinglady]

The escalating prices of food and fuel are affecting the Nation in many ways.Intelligent citizens look for possible causes and solutions of these incredible price increases.Some facts are:
-Gas prices have increased 75% since President Bush’s first inauguration.Gas was $1.46 when President Bush was elected.Every 1 cent increase costs the American people approximately 1 billion dollars.
-Oil companies are making record profits.Exxon Mobil made $40 billion in PROFIT in 2007.Exxon’s CEO,Rex Tillerson,made $21.7 million plus perks in 2007.Not bad…while the nation struggles.
-The oil and Gas industry has contributed over $67 million to Republicans since 2000.Even our own Joe Barton has received $1.8 million from the Oil industry and
John Cornyn has received $349,780. In 2004,13 Bush Pioneers and Rangers were in the oil industry.
-Now,John McCain has proposed a lower tax on Oil companies,even though they are making record profits.Is it any coincidence that Senator McCain has received almost$500,000 from the oil industry?
Do the intelligent readers of The Daily Light really believe that our elected officials are serving OUR interests…or those of their masters?Please research your candidates,and don’t rubber stamp a vote.Our nation can’t afford it.

[Richard Steele]

1. Looks good. nm

[ColbertWatcher]

2. Suggestions...

...don't use the word "intelligent". Just drop it altogether. No need to change the tone or target of your letter by using words GOPers see as "negative". Use their language, but not in a way they feel threatened.

I would put emphasis on donors, so that the mention of the Bush pioneers is less on Bush and his nicknames and more on campaign financing:

In 2004, oil industry donors dominated the Republican presidential campaign.

And then, use total dollar amounts for the 13 donors without using names.

I would change the McCain sentence to read:

Now, after receiving nearly $500,000 from the oil industry, John McCain has proposed they get tax cuts, despite their record profits.

Also, I would remove the word "intelligent" and change the word "masters" to "most aggressive donors" and "our nation" to "we", so your last paragraph reads;

Do the readers of The Daily Light really believe that our elected officials are serving OUR interests…or those of their most aggressive donors? Please research your candidates, and don’t rubber stamp a vote; we can’t afford it.

[w8liftinglady]

3. Thanks alot!It looks so much better...sent.

[ColbertWatcher]

4. Wow! Just like that!?

[scarpa43]

5. I think your math is wrong

-Gas prices have increased 75% since President Bush’s first inauguration.Gas was $1.46 when President Bush was elected.Every 1 cent increase costs the American people approximately 1 billion dollars.


It should be more than 75%, $1.46 x 1.75 = $2.56, shouldn't it be more like 240%? 240% of $1.46 is about $3.50.